Lunar Eclipse
by Ren68
Summary: Join Edward on his journey of discovery. Get a look at the rest of the Cullen's as we've never seen them.
1. Chapter 1

REFUSAL

There was certainly hell to pay for our latest adventure that brought both Bella and I, along with Alice, to Italy. My parents for all intensive purposes, Carlisle and Esme, were considerably angry about the actions I took, which led them to constantly watching me with concern set deep in their eyes. Exposed to hours of dialogue both out loud and in their thoughts about the actions I had taken. Concern –with my reaction to leaving Bella –filled their thoughts; a situation such as this had never developed before. Feeling less than honorable with myself, having caused them such anxiety and pain, earning their respect back was at the top of my list.

Emmett was angry with me, too. Disappointed with my lack of trust in him, I attempted to explain that I wasn't able talk to anyone, it wouldn't have helped, but he couldn't understand. It would take me awhile to earn back his trust again.

Jasper on the other hand was upset with me for making Alice react the way she had. She felt responsible for my actions in Italy and was left with the need to save me. Really it wasn't her fault, and I would never blame her, but that wouldn't have stopped her from trying to rescue me.

Everyone was upset with me, except Rosalie, she attempted everything to earn my forgiveness. Already forgiving her, I thought she should sweat it out a little longer before I actually told her that. She deserved to suffer a little while longer.

Explaining things to my family brought them more understanding. Comprehending why I took the actions I had, they wanted to be certain nothing close to that happened again. Agreeing, I would appease them for now. If Bella got her way, I would never have to think about that again. That was not my desire as I was still attempting to keep her human.

Charlie on the other hand, was extremely angry that I took Bella away from him, yet again. We were gone for three days with no explanation and he had no way of knowing if she was okay. Realizing it would be a long time before anyone would trust me again, I was on my best behavior.

Charlie put strict restrictions on Bella limiting my access to her. She was grounded until further notice and my visitation hours were from 7 to 9:30, which left me a lot of time in between. Time spent gathering application forms for college, off to a late start, with some influences that Carlisle had, and my other persuasions, there were still some schools that would make exceptions. With no doubts, we would be headed to college come fall, even with any arrangements Bella made with my family. College became another priority in my eyes, and I would stop at nothing to get us there.

Remembering the family meeting we had –after arriving back from Italy –made me extremely angry. Carlisle had agreed to change Bella's human status and that was something I refused to allow. My family going against my wishes –was a day I thought I'd never had to concern myself with –and then they had leaving no resolution to the subject, at that time. Uncertainty swelled within me knowing what Carlisle had done, agreeing to change Bella after graduation, leaving me with time on my hands. Time to change her mind, time to make her see that she was making the biggest mistake of her life, and time to come up with plan B, in case my other plans didn't work.

My first plan came to me upon returning to Bella's house that fateful night my family voted on her mortality. To my shock and dismay they voted against me, allowing Bella to join our family. The worse blow came from Carlisle himself, as he looked me straight in the eye and told me he had no other choice. There was another choice and that choice was to leave well enough alone. Understanding Carlisle's decision was difficult for me since he had only changed people that had no other choice. Always believing that it was his conscience, apparently I was wrong. Hearing him agree with Bella was excruciating leaving my feelings on the subject mixed. I knew only one thing for certain, I was angry, which carried with it tension and resentment in my household. After that horrifying night Carlisle had attempted to explain his position.

"Edward, please try and see my position here. You are not willing to change her and you plan on remaining with her. You can't have it both ways. You know that," Carlisle pleaded.

"Why not? Why can't it be both ways?" I said with chagrin.

"Edward, come on. You know the rules. You know they'll never allow it," Carlisle explained.

"By the time they come to check on her, we'll be gone. I can protect her Carlisle. I will protect her," I answered.

"I know you think you can protect her Edward, but you can't. Not from them. You know what they can do; you know you can't hide her forever. They'll find you and I don't even want to think what would happen then. You can't ask this of me. You can't ask us to watch over our shoulders for the next seventy years… you can't ask that of Bella," Carlisle begged.

"I know what you're saying. I heard you, now hear me… I will do everything in my power to make certain this does not happen… I will change her mind," I said angrily.

That was our last conversation on the subject. Carlisle's thoughts were always compassionate and this was no exception. He hoped I would be able to work something out, something better than ending Bella's life. He wished he saw another way, but he couldn't and that bothered him immensely. Knowing Carlisle would consider this a last resort I couldn't remain angry with him for long, he was thinking about what was best for Bella, and I was unable to hold that against him. His worry was that the Volturi would come looking for us, and then what would happen? The Volturi didn't concern me –Bella remaining human concerned me more.

The only one who agreed with me was Rosalie, but we did not share the same reasoning. She saw Bella giving up too many opportunities that she wished she could have. Not being fond of her own outcome, Rosalie would have chosen death over what she had become. Rose always wanted children and thought Bella would feel the same if she were to give up her human status. This wouldn't be Rosalie's choice if she were given one.

Everyone else in my family was ready to accept Bella with open arms. They all loved her as I did, and wanted her to be one of us. My happy existence with her weighed against the misery I suffered without her influenced their belief that this was the best way for us. Knowing she was just as miserable without me fortified for them that we should remain together forever. That left only one-way possible in their minds –since I couldn't join her –she would join us. Alice just had to let her opinion be known.

"Edward, stop worrying, everything will work out," Alice said.

"Alice, stop it. I don't want to hear it. She's staying human," I returned with chagrin.

"Whatever you say."

Her mocking tone made me angry, but I didn't speak of this again with her. She avoided this topic whenever we spoke. There remained only one conversation left to have about Bella's transformation among my family and that was Emmett.

"Edward, why don't you think about what you would be gaining instead of what you think she would be losing? Do you really hate what you are that much?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett, can't you see my side at all?" I asked.

"Sure, but I've never seen you so happy and I know you can't live without her. It's apparent she can't live without you. So what's the comprise? What do you plan to do? You can't become human, so it only makes sense she would become a vampire," Emmett answered.

"I can't do that, Emmett. I can't take a chance on her soul. I won't," I said.

"Well, I don't know how you think this will work, or what you think you can do to stop it. She seems determined."

"I'm more determined and that's not going to happen," I said frustrated.

That ended that conversation and was never brought up again.

After saying my peace to my family about Bella becoming a vampire –wasting my breath as it was –I decided to refocus my energy on the things I could change. Putting all of my efforts into our college status became my obsession. Gathering application forms and checking dead lines became a daily event for me. We would go to college, together, and she would have a wonderful, human college experience.

My priority list was suddenly becoming immense. Priority one now became getting into college, while priority two became keeping Bella from Jacob. Her friendship with Jacob grew to a heightened extend during my time away. While I was thankful that he was able to protect Bella while I was away, allowing this friendship to continue was intolerable. It was far too dangerous for her.

Being a werewolf –and a new werewolf at that –he was dangerous. New werewolves are unable to control their tempers leaving anyone around them at risk. Envisioning Bella being near Jacob when he lost control was too hard. Putting her at risk that way was unacceptable –leaving the only solution –for her not to see him anymore.

So far, that was not a problem, as the vampires and werewolves were mortal enemies. Bella had made her choose leaving Jacob angry and refusing to talk to her. She had not heard one word from him since having our meeting with him in the forest. Their friendship was already strained, so perhaps, it would be easy to keep her away from him. She was upset that he was ignoring her and maybe she was ready to give up on him. Not wanting to make this an issue in our relationship, I was not planning to forbid her to see him, but I would if forced to. Her safety was my first priority and once again was my job, if that meant refusing to allow her to see him then that's what I would do.

My last job on my list of priorities became getting back into Charlie's good graces –not that I was ever his favorite person. I was determined to have him accept me as he once had, before the Italy trip. Since returning his thoughts were extremely angry when focused on me. I could hardly blame him, for I had caused so much trouble for his daughter since meeting her. Her safety both emotionally and physically, was his first priority and he couldn't comprehend that his goals were the same as mine. Together we felt the same way when it came to Bella and there was nothing we wouldn't do to protect her. So, for now, I would abide by his rules only seeing her during his visitation hours of 7-9:30. Of course, I still spent every night with her, but he had no idea of that and I often felt like a heel being there without his permission. Knowing I couldn't remain away from her that long, that surpassed everything else.

Life, pretty much, went back to normal with Alice and I resuming our roles at the high school. Carlisle went back to the hospital as they accepted him back with open arms. Charlie couldn't do anything about Bella and I seeing each other at school where I resumed all my classes with her. He attempted to change her classes, but was unsuccessful. Bella had no idea of that and I refused to tell her. Charlie's attitude about me caused tension and stress in their relationship and I refuse to cause anymore then I already had. Loving her dearly was his motivation, which I understood fully.

Armed with applications in hand, as it was coming upon the seven o'clock hour and my allotted time with Bella. Reaching her front door I listened to the conversation she was having with her father, testing the atmosphere in the house.

"Congratulations," Charlie said. "Your first acceptance."

"Thanks, Dad."

"We should talk about tuition. I've got some money saved up…"

"Hey, hey, none of that. I'm not touching your retirement, Dad. I've got my college fund."

She had been saving for college, but had depleted that money on stupid things such as the trip to Italy and buying motorcycles. All of these things were her attempt at being with me making it my responsibility to provide money for college, which I would be happy to oblige. She wouldn't take it willingly as I had already attempted to provide her with tuition money once resulting in a broken window at my house. She was so stubborn, but I would discover a way to pay for it.

Persuading her to attend college was another matter. Having a couple of months left to convince her, I was certain I could think of something. Attending college would mean putting off the transformation and that was something she was unwilling to even discuss. I had my work cut out for me.

"Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You don't have to go all the way to Alaska just because it's cheaper."

Alaska was far from cheaper, but she figured it would be a good cover story, so to appease her, I sent our applications to spare the argument. I had to appear as if I accepted her decision, but I was far from accepting it. That would never happen.

"I've got it covered. Besides, there's lots of financial aid out there. It's easy to get loans."

"So…" Charlie began.

"So what?"

"Nothing. I was just…" he frowned. "Just wondering what… Edward's plans are for next year?"

There it was, the subject rarely approached by Charlie. It made him uncomfortable discussing me. His wish was that I would go off to some Ivey league school that Bella had no chance of attending. His desire was that we would be forced to go our separate ways unfortunately for him this would never happen, again.

"Oh."

"Well?" he asked again.

That was my cue to save her from this conversation. If Charlie wanted to know my intentions he would have to ask me himself. I would be happy to share that with him.

Three quick raps on the door spared her from answering him.

"Coming!" Bella called.

The door wrenched opened and as always the sight of her took my breath away. She was stunningly beautiful and looked at me with such hope and amazement, and it worried me that I was much less then she thought of me. She was the one with the strength; she was the one who believed in me. Never doubting her, only myself. She was far too good for me and my sight would never waver, no matter how she looked at me. She was my prize… I was the lucky one here.

The fact that she was willing to trade her soul in order to be with me –a person not worthy of that kind of love –was still a mystery to me. Her delusions of me were something I attempted to live up to. Until now, I haven't been great at that, but I was still working on it. One day I would earn her love, but for now my efforts have been unworthy of her love.

Reaching for her hand, she sighed, providing me such relief when I touched her. It was like being able to breath after a long period of having no oxygen. Love flowed threw me every time she touched me, without fail. Her eagerness to see me never wavered and she always looked at me with the most loving eyes.

"Hey," she smiled.

Raising our interlaced fingers, I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. "How was your afternoon?"

"Slow."

"For me, as well."

Pulling her wrist up to my face, our hands still twisted together. Closing my eyes I skimmed my nose along her skin, smiling gently. Her scent washed threw me like a wrecking ball –unlike the reaction I use to have from her scent –it was pleasurable instead of painful.

Her scent was something I was immune to now. Never wanting her to change I would suffer the rest of her life with this scent. Suffering was not the right word after everything we'd been through, it was more like enduring. Pushing my reactions deep down where they could no longer affect me. Bella carried with her two important qualities that were very evident to me –her scent and a beating heart –if either were gone she'd be dead or a vampire. Neither of those were options I wanted, but I really had no choice, one day one of these would happen. My wish was that we would have years to decide or make a choice. A miracle that was my desire.

"Good evening, Charlie," I said politely.

Charlie grunted at me and stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He was not pleased with my presence here and wished I would go away forever. But he better get used to me because I wasn't going anywhere ever again.

"I brought another set of applications," I told Bella holding up a stuffed manila envelope. Wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around my littlest finger, coming prepared to work.

Bella groaned. She was getting tired of these applications. She also wondered how I was able to find schools that were still accepting them. Being so late in the year, I had a lot of people willing to help me and when that didn't work there was always money. Money I've always found could persuade people to do what you wanted, most of the time. Money was a great motivator for most humans.

I smiled at her. "There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions."

Laughing at her expression, I didn't have to read her mind to know exactly what she was thinking. She knew the motivations behind such exceptions and the dollar amounts involved. Not that she would mention it.

"Shall we?" I asked, towing her toward the kitchen table.

Charlie huffed and followed behind wanting to complain about my presence here, but couldn't. He was glad I was persuading her to consider college and that I appeared so eager for her to attend. He wanted her to make a decision about school, but she was set on Alaska. He also wanted to know where I would be attending school next year. The question was burning a hole in his head.

She cleared the table while I organized the stack of forms. When she moved Wuthering Heights to the counter, I raised an eyebrow. But, before I could question her about the novel Charlie interrupted.

"Speaking of college applications, Edward," Charlie said, not happy about having to address me. "Bell and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where you're going to school?"

Smiling at Charlie, I knew what he wanted to hear, what he desired happening, but I knew my answer would not please him. My presence here already bothered him. He would not be pleased if Bella and I attended the same school.

"Not yet. I've received a few acceptance letters, but I'm still weighting my options."

"Where have you been accepted?" Charlie pressed.

"Syracuse… Harvard… Dartmouth… and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today," turning my face slightly to the side I winked at Bella.

Even though Charlie hated to admit it, he was impressed. "Harvard? Dartmouth?" Charlie mumbled… he was in awe. "Well that's pretty… that's something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska… you wouldn't really consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to…" He had a glint in his eyes hoping I would pick one of those schools.

"Carlisle's always fine with whatever I choose to do," I told him serenely.

"Hmph," Charlie couldn't fathom that I would turn down these schools. And he wondered what Carlisle was thinking not making me go to an Ivy League school.

"Guess what, Edward?" Bella asked in a bright voice.

"What, Bella?" already knowing what she was about to say.

She pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. "I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska!"

"Congratulations!" I grinned. "What a coincidence."

Charlie's eyes narrowed as he glared back and forth between the two of us. He was not fooled, but more importantly he was extremely angry. He thought we were too young to revolve our lives around each other so tightly. "Fine," he muttered after a minute. "I'm going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty."

That was his usual parting command.

"Er, Dad? Remember the very recent discussion about my freedom…?"

Charlie sighed. "Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights."

What was this? His mind rested on his decision to lift her house arrest. He wished he could take it back. His purpose was for her to resume former friendships and not spend more time with me.

"Bella's no longer grounded?" I asked. How had I missed this significant piece of information?

"Conditionally," Charlie corrected through his teeth. "What's it to you?"

Bella frowned, without Charlie seeing.

"It's just good to know," I said. "Alice had been itching for a shopping partner, and I'm sure Bella would love to see some city lights," I smiled at her.

Charlie growled, "No!" his face flushed purple.

"Dad! What's the problem?"

He made an effort to unclench his teeth. "I don't want you going to Seattle right now."

"Huh?"

"I told you about that story in the paper –there's some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay?"

She rolled her eyes. "Dad, there's a better chance that I'll get struck by lightning than that the one day I'm in Seattle…"

"No, that's fine, Charlie," I said, interrupting her. "I didn't mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldn't have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not."

Picking up the paper and reading the front page intently. These stories were becoming a daily occurrence in Seattle making my family and I nervous about what was really going on. From all indications this was not some gang of teenagers up to no good, this was clearly something more sinister having to do with our kind. At least that's the way it appeared to be and I would not allow Bella to be near anything like that.

Charlie stared at me for a second more, then shrugged. "Fine," He stalked off toward the living room, in a bit of a hurry now –he didn't like that I agreed with him. He never believed that him and I wanted what was best for Bella. He thought I was selfish and always did what was best for myself. He didn't know that my only intention was to make Bella happy and safe. Hopefully one day I could change his mind, make him realize she was the most important thing in my life, and that everything I did was for her happiness.

Having this story on the front page of the paper, staring me right in the face, was a reminder to me of the dangers I brought to Bella's world. Summarizing the things that could easily happen to her, how unsafe she truly was in my world. Some how I would make her world safe and if that meant paying closer attention to the world around us, I would.

What went on in the vampire world never really concerned us. Being that this was so close to home and the actions taken here may prompt a visit from the Volturi, it became our responsibility to watch what was happening. The last thing we wanted was a visit from the Volturi so soon.

"What…" Bella began to ask.

"Hold on," I said without looking up from the paper. My eyes focused on the story as I pushed the first application toward her across the table. "I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions."

She began filling out the information while I continued reading the last of the story. When finished I stared out the back window. What was happening in Seattle was becoming very concerning and not knowing what was really going on was getting unnerving. Something would have to be done soon… I just wasn't certain what.

Bella snorted and pushed the papers aside, pulling me from reverie.

"Bella?"

"Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth?"

Lifting the discarded application I laid it gently in front of her again. "I think you'd like New Hampshire," I said. "There's a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are very conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife," smiling the crooked smile that seemed to persuade her when I used it.

She took a deep breath.

"I'll let you pay me back, if that makes you happy," I promised. "If you want, I can charge you interest."

"Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again?"

"Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It won't hurt you to apply."

Her jaw flexed. "You know what? I don't think I will."

Moving quickly –to quickly for her to see –I took the application and tucked into my jacket pocket. She had no intention of filling it out. She reached to take the form, but I smiled back at her. I would fill it out for her at a later time.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I sign your name better than you do yourself. You've already written the essays."

"You're going way overboard with this, you know," she whispered in case Charlie was listening. "I really don't need to apply anywhere else. I've been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semester's tuition. It's as good an alibi as any. There's no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is."

This was painful to discuss and I was still holding out hope that I could change her mind, so these applications were more important than ever. "Bella…"

"Don't start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlie's sake, but we both know I'm not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people."

Hearing about her transformation was not a subject I was pleased to discuss. Wishing to speak of the higher education she would receive at any one of the colleges we could attend. If she would see my point for one moment I was certain she would agree with me. Waiting to become a monster would not be so bad.

"I thought the timing was still undecided," I reminded her softly. "You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you've never had."

"I'll get to those afterward."

Was she kidding, surely she realized they wouldn't be the same afterward. That was a point I wished she would understand. She shouldn't make this decision with such a casual attitude. Permanently changing your human status was not something that should be taken lightly and I'm certain she couldn't understand.

"They won't be human experiences afterward. You don't get a second chance at humanity, Bella."

She sighed. "You've got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. It's just too dangerous to mess around with."

"There's no danger yet," I insisted.

That was the truth she was in no danger, not with us around to protect her. She had to know by now how many people were protecting her. Between my family and I, there were plenty, but I also knew of a few more mythical creatures that had her safety in mind. And as much as I hated knowing he was out there, still watching out for her, I was thankful to anything that would warn me of any harm she may face.

Alice was keeping careful watch for Victoria and also watching for anything that might occur with the Volturi. The rest of my family was keeping an eye on the town of Forks for any out of the ordinary happening there. And with the wolf's watching their part of town, there left no room for anyone to get to Bella. All the bases were covered.

There was no hurry for her to join me in becoming a monster. There would be no way I would allow this to happen because she was scared. If she had to make this decision, it would be of her free will, with nothing persuading her decision. She would not make it under duress, she would have the choice no of us had, and it would remain her choice. It always had to be her choice.

"Bella," I murmured seeing she was distressed. "There's no hurry. I won't let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need."

"I want to hurry," she whispered, smiling weakly attempting to make jokes. "I want to be a monster, too."

Clenching my teeth and speaking threw them. "You have no idea what you're saying." Abruptly I flung the newspaper down on the table between us. My finger stabbing the headline on the front page:

**DEATH TOLL ON THE RISE,**

**POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITY**

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Monsters are not a joke, Bella."

She stared at the headline and back at my expression as comprehension set in.

"A… a vampire is doing this?" she whispered.

Smiling without humor. My voice was low and cold. "You'd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. It's easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we all were."

To avoid eye contact with me she dropped her gaze to the paper again.

"We've been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there –the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, and the lack of other evidence… Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the neophyte…" taking a deep breath. "Well, it's not our problem. We wouldn't even pay attention to the situation if it wasn't going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences."

Hoping my little speech her would give her things to think about before she made her choice. Although, I knew she already had her mind set, she was so stubborn, I wanted to give her reasons to reconsider and hopefully buy myself some time to come up with a plan. This was the last thing I desired and would do anything to stop it from happening.

"It won't be the same for me," she whispered. "You won't let me be like that. We'll live in Antarctic."

I snorted humorously. "Penguins. Lovely," saying attempting to relieve some of the tension.

She laughed shakily and knocked the paper off the table.

"Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more remote than Juneau –somewhere with grizzles galore."

"Better," I allowed. "There are polar bears, too. Very fierce. And the wolves get quite large."

Her mouth fell open and her breath blew out in a sharp gust.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Comprehension set in before I finished asking. "Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is offensive to you," my voice was stiff, formal and my shoulders rigid. Knowing that when she was a monster, this would no longer be her feeling, for now, she felt strongly about the wolves.

"He was my best friend, Edward," she muttered. "Of course the idea offends me."

"Please forgive my thoughtlessness," I said. "I shouldn't have suggested that."

"Don't worry about it," she stared at her hands, which were clenched into double fists.

We sat in silence for a moment. It was wrong of me to suggest such a thing and I felt bad for having done it, but I did know that they were not the same. The wolves there were different than Jacob's pack, but I suppose she wouldn't see it that way. Putting my finger under her chin and pulling her face to mine. My expression much softer now.

"Sorry. Really."

"I know. I know it's not the same thing. I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that… well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over," she hesitated. She began pleading to me. "Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. He's hurting right now, and… it's my fault."

"You've done nothing wrong, Bella."

She took a deep breath. "I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And it's one of Charlie's conditions, anyway…"

Tension rising in me, the only reason that Charlie wanted her to make amends with Jacob was to get her away from me. He much preferred Jacob to me, and I couldn't really blame him. Jacob brought her back from the misery I appeared to have caused.

"You know it's out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war?"

"Of course not!"

"Then there's really no point in discussing the matter further," dropping my hand I looked away from her. Needing to change this subject, I hated saying no to her about anything, but this was unavoidable. There was no way I could allow her to be anywhere near new werewolves, she could be hurt and I wouldn't be there to protect her. Seeing her copy of Wuthering Heights on the counter brought a new subject my way.

"I'm glad Charlie has decided to let you out –you're sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I can't believe you're reading Wuthering Heights again. Don't you know it by heart yet?"

"Not all of us have photographic memories," she said curtly.

"Photographic memory or not, I don't understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each other's lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

"You have some serious issues with the classics," she snapped.

"Perhaps it's because I'm not impressed by antiquity."

Smiling I was pleased with the distraction I'd created. "Honestly, though, why do you read it over and over?" Speaking with real interest in the answer, attempting to gain some insight to her mind. Reaching across the table to cradle her face in my hand. "What is it that appeals to you?"

Stunningly she replied. "I'm not sure," she scrambled for coherency while I gazed unintentionally waiting for her thoughts. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart –not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end…"

Considering her words thoughtfully I gave her a teasing smile. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality."

"I think that may be the point," she disagreed. "Their love is their only redeeming quality."

"I hope you have better sense than that –to fall in love with someone so… malignant."

"It's a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with," she pointed out. "But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well."

Laughing quietly. "I'm glad you think so."

"Well, I hope you're smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff."

"I'll be on my guard," I promised.

She sighed obviously she wasn't as distracted as I believed. She put her hand over mine and held it to her face. "I need to see Jacob."

I closed my eyes. "No."

"It's truly not dangerous at all," she said, pleading with me again. "I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing ever happened."

Her voice faltering and her expression changing, I could tell that was not the truth; she was such a bad liar. Her heart began accelerating and I nodded at her acknowledging her mistruth. "Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes, the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed."

She thought about that statement for a moment, while I waited, grimly triumphant, for her to find her voice.

"You don't know them," she whispered.

"I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time."

"The last time?"

"We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago… We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldn't have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexisting was possible, and eventually we made the truce."

That name startled her; she didn't think I knew about them.

"We thought the line had died out with Ephraim," I muttered, taking to myself now. "That the genetic quirk which allowed the transmutation had been lost…" I broke off staring at her accusingly. "Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we'd have weapon of mass destruction on our hands."

She ignored my rubbing and was surprised by my assumptions. "But I didn't bring them back. Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"My bad luck had nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did."

Staring at her I was shocked.

"Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know…"

My eyes narrowed. "Is that what they think?"

"Edward, look at the facts. Seventy years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think that's a coincidence?"

Blinking I relaxed. "Carlisle will be interested in that theory."

"Theory," she scoffed.

Remaining in silence for a moment, staring out the window into the rain. That gave me plenty to think about, to know we were the cause of the wolves being here, to know it was our fault they existed. So, I was to blame for what happened to Jacob, again. First I took Bella away from him, then to know he changed into a monster because of my presence here, his hatred for me was justified. But that changed nothing from my point of view.

"Interesting, but not exactly relevant," I murmured after a moment. "The situation remains the same."

It was an impossibility to have her remain friends with a wolf while I was around. We were mortal enemies; we couldn't even be in the same place at the same time. And, with Victoria still on the loose, there was no way I would allow her out of my sight, especially to visit him. He was too dangerous right now.

Alice had shown me a glimpse into the relationship they had shared when I was away. It had not gone any further than friendship, but the intention was still clear and I could not allow it to continue any longer. She had to understand my position; she couldn't think I was wrong.

She got up and walked around the table. Opening my arms she sat on my lap, nestling into my stone embrace. She looked at my hands while she spoke.

"Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain," her voice distorted around the word. "I can't not try to help him –I can't give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he's not human all the time… Well, he was there for me when I was… not so human myself. You don't know what it was like…" she hesitated. My arms went rigid; my hands were in fists now, the tendons standing out. "If Jacob hadn't helped me… I'm not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better this, Edward."

Closing my eyes I wanted to die. Knowing the pain and anguish it caused her after I left was something I'd never forgive myself for. Knowing that I sent her straight into the arms of my mortal enemy, that he shielded her from the danger I'd left behind, was excruciating.

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you," I whispered. "Not if I live a hundred thousand years."

She placed her hand against my face, I sighed then opened my eyes.

"You were just trying to do the right thing. And I'm sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, you're here now. That's the part that matters."

"If I'd never left, you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog."

She flinched; she didn't like me taking this tone when it came to him.

"I don't know how to phrase this properly," I said with a bleak tone. "It's going to sound cruel, I suppose. But I've come too close loosing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous."

That was the truth; I couldn't tolerate her in any kind of danger. And when she wasn't with me, she was in danger. There was still much out there that was part of my world that was a danger to her. Things I needed to protect her from and if she was away from me I wouldn't be able to protect her.

"You have to trust me on this. I'll be fine."

Pain spread across my face. "Please, Bella," I whispered.

She stared into my eyes. "Please what?"

"Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. I'll do everything I can, but I would appreciate a little help."

Needing that… I needed her help. Needing her to see my point of view. How dangerous this time was for her. We had to consider Victoria, not to mention the Volturi. She must see that, she must have some idea what this was doing to me.

"I'll work on it," she murmured.

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?" Pulling her tighter against my chest, tucking her head under my chin.

She pressed her lips against my neck. "I know how much I love you," she answered.

"You compare one small tree to the entire forest."

"Impossible."

Kissing the top of her head I sighed. Hopefully that got my point across, although I was never quite certain, as I couldn't hear her thoughts to know for sure. Having one advantage on my side, my sort of secret weapon, which was Alice who was already watching her for danger. She would inform me if there were anything I needed to worry about.

"No werewolves."

"I'm not going along with that. I have to see Jacob."

"Then I'll have to stop you."

Okay I was off base; she didn't understand the dangers the wolves could bring with them. But that was all right I was confident I could protect her.

"We'll see about that," she bluffed. "He's still my friend."

That spread pain throughout me, to know that they were friends. To know I did that, I made that happen –there was nothing I could do about that –but there was certainly something I could do about what happened now. And I would do anything. She needed to realize that it couldn't have both ways. It was either him or me. It would be her decision and when the time came I would give her the choice.


	2. Chapter 2

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyres._**

2. EVASION

Things pretty much returned to normal, which included attending school. Resuming all the classes I had at the beginning of the year, meant spending my days with Bella at my side, which was exactly the way I wanted it. No one had taken up residence next to her in any classes. People talked and thought various things of what really happened, but no one knew the truth, they weren't even close.

People still wondered, especially Mike, who had nasty thoughts about my return. His thoughts didn't bother me as they once had… for the most part I ignored him. His only thoughts I couldn't tune out were the ones of what she was like while I was gone. Through his mind I saw what it had done to her and how she appeared to the outside world. It was not pretty and I felt like such a heel seeing this. Knowing she never meant for me to find out I would never let on I knew. Feeling bad enough for having done this to her, I couldn't allow her to feel worse.

Most other thoughts among our classmates were our upcoming commencements. The end of our high school careers was drawing to a close. For Alice and I this was nothing new, we had experienced this a hundred times over. But for Bella, this would be her first time and it would be a human experience she would not miss. Wanting her to have every human experience was important to me, unwilling for her to miss anything.

Everywhere we looked throughout the school was reminders of the special event. All through the cafeteria and hallways were posters reminding us to buy our yearbooks, class rings. Announcements were made reminding us of deadlines to order graduation gowns, hats, and tassels. The juniors were campaigning for class office, ominous, rose-wreathed advertisements for this year's prom. The big dance was this coming weekend, but I had promised her that I would not subject her to that again. She said she already had that human experience.

Convincing her to attend a dance, she was unwilling to go to was the last thing on my mind. We had bigger problems then graduation or prom and her safety was the number one priority. We were all watching the situation carefully, Alice and my family; along with myself were keeping vigil on Bella and her house. We had to make sure nothing happened to her or Charlie. Our biggest worry was that someone may get by us. Well, that was my biggest concern, my family wasn't that worried now that we were here to stop anyone. They never thought anyone would get by us.

Walking into the cafeteria we sat at our usual table.

"Have you sent your announcements, yet?" Angela asked Bella as we sat down.

Alice and Ben were already there, too, on either side of Angela. Ben was intent over a comic book. Alice was scrutinizing Bella's jeans-and-a-t-shirt outfit in a way making her look self-conscious. She was plotting another make over, making Bella sigh. She could probably pay more attention to her wardrobe because this outfit did nothing for her and the color was very boring on her. But that was Bella and I loved her the way she was, it really didn't matter to me.

"No," Bella answered Angela. "There's no point, really. Renee knows when I'm graduating. Who else is there?"

"How about you, Alice?"

Alice smiled. "All done."

"Lucky you," Angela sighed. "My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-address one to everybody. I'm going to get carpal tunnel. I can't put it off any longer and I'm just dreading it."

"I'll help you," Bella volunteered. "If you don't mind my awful handwriting."

Smiling at Bella I knew she was fulfilling Charlie's wishes becoming acquainted with her friends again. And this would not involve her other friend.

Angela looked relieved. "That's so nice of you. I'll come over any time you want."

"Actually, I'd rather go to your house if that's okay –I'm sick of mine. Charlie un-grounded me last night," Bella grinned announcing her good news.

"Really?" Angela asked. "I thought you said you were in for life."

"I'm more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set me free."

Knowing that wouldn't have happened, Charlie wanted her to hang out with her friends again. He was hoping that by allowing her out she would see more of her friends and less of me. This was an attempt that was not going to work.

"Well, this is great, Bella! We'll have to go out to celebrate."

"You have no idea how good that sounds."

"What should we do?" Alice mused, her face lighting up at the possibilities. Alice's ideas were usually too grandiose for Bella and I could see her thoughts were heading that way again. Bella must've sensed this too.

"Whatever you're thinking, Alice, I doubt I'm that free."

"Free is free, right?" she insisted.

"I'm sure I still have boundaries –like the continental U.S., for example."

Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grimaced in real disappointment.

"So what are we doing tonight?" she persisted.

"Nothing. Look, let's give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn't joking. It's a school night, anyway."

"We'll celebrate this weekend, then," Alice's enthusiasm was impossible to repress.

"Sure," she said.

Alice and Angela started talking about options; Ben joined the conversation, setting his comics aside. Bella's attention drifted, while the others discussed things to do in Port Angeles or maybe Hoquiam.

Bella was no longer excited, in fact she was deep in thought and I was sure of the subject she was pondering. It hurt her not to see Jacob, she was very sad about not being there for him in his time of need. And if I were a bigger man I would allow her to go to him, but I wasn't and I couldn't allow that. There was too much danger in that possibility and I couldn't wrap my mind around it. If I allowed her to go to him and she got hurt or worse, I couldn't live with myself. How could she expect that from me?

Jacob was a big boy, he would get over this and besides he had a different life now, one that couldn't include Bella and he knew that. I was sure that's why he hadn't attempted to contact her, he knew as well as I did that he would put her in danger if he were near her now. Maybe someday when he could control himself more I could…

"Alice? Alice?"

Angela's voice yanked me from my reverie. She was waving her hand back and forth in front of Alice's blank, staring face. Recognizing Alice's expression immediately the next moment I was lost in her vision. It was confusing at first, my family was in the clearing and so were the wolves, it appeared as if there would be a fight. In one quick flash it was over.

Laughing a relaxed sound to cover for Alice I kicked her chair under the table, knocking her from her vision.

"Is it naptime already, Alice?" I teased.

Alice was herself again. "Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess."

"Day dreaming is better than facing two more hours of school," Ben said.

Alice threw herself back into the conversation with more animation than before –just a little bit too much. Locking eyes with me only once.

_We'll talk later!_ Was all she said?

Knowing this was neither the time nor place I would let it go for now. I also didn't want Bella to know what was going on, especially since it appeared to have something to do with the wolves. There was no way she would listen to me if she knew what might happen with them. She would want to go to him now and I couldn't allow that.

Hiding things was more difficult now, as she knew me so well. After lunch I slowed my pace to match Ben's and began talking about an assignment that I had already finished. Then I made sure that there was always someone else there in between classes where we usually had time to ourselves. When the final bell rang, I struck up a conversation with Mike Newton of all people… I was desperate. Falling into step beside him as Mike headed for the parking lot. Bella trailed behind, allowing me to tow her along.

The conversation progressed to Mike's car, which he was having trouble with. "… but I just replace the battery," Mike was saying.

"Perhaps it's the cables?" I offered.

"Maybe. I really don't know anything about cars," Mike admitted. "I need to have someone look at it, but I can't afford to take it to Dowling's."

"I know a few things –I could take a look, if you like," I offered. "Just let me drop Alice and Bella at home."

Mike and Bella stared at me with their mouths hanging open. Okay, I pushed this a little too far. She would know something was up, I mean, I was being nice to Mike for god sake.

"Err… thanks," Mike mumbled when he recovered. "But I have to get to work. Maybe some other time."

"Absolutely."

"See ya," Mike climbed into his car, shaking his head in disbelief.

All right, I went way overboard attempting to dissuade her from asking me about Alice's vision. Stooping to speak to Mike, I knew this was too much, but I couldn't help myself and my emotions took over.

"What was that about?" Bella muttered as I held the passenger door for her.

"Just being helpful," I answered. She knew I was lying.

Alice was waiting in the backseat, and babbling at top speed.

"You're really not that good a mechanic, Edward. Maybe you should have Rosalie take a look at it tonight, just so you look good if Mike decides to let you help, you know. Not that it wouldn't be fun to watch his face if Rosalie showed up to help. But since Rosalie is supposed to be across the country attending college, I guess that's not the best idea. Too bad. Thought I suppose, for Mike's car, you'll do. It's only within the finer tunings of a good Italian sports car that you're out of your depth. And speaking of Italy and sports cars that I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche. I don't know that I want to wait for Christmas…"

Tuning her out after a minute allowing her quick voice to become just a hum in the background. Thankful for what she was attempting to do, I just couldn't listen one moment longer. That girl could talk about nothing of consequence, she had the gift of gab as the saying goes, and I just thought it was annoying most of the time. It did help me avoid the questions that were building up in Bella.

Dropping Alice at the mouth of the driveway as usual. As she got out, she threw a sharp look at my face; I however didn't react to her. She shot one last comment that was meant for my ears only.

_We'll talk later!_ she said firmly. _This is important, Edward!_

"See you later," I said and then ever so slightly I nodded.

Alice turned to disappear into the trees.

It was quiet as I turned the car around and headed back to Forks. She waited to hear an explanation to what was going on, but I had no intention of telling her anything. Surprisingly she didn't ask me anything as we headed for her house.

"Light homework load tonight," I commented.

"Mmm," she assented.

"Do you suppose I'm allowed inside again?"

"Charlie didn't throw a fit when you picked me up for school."

Following her up the stairs to her room I was strategizing what to do about the vision I'd seen. Something had to be done and I just wasn't sure about what that would be yet. Needing more time to figure this out I would also need to know more information from Alice.

Walking into Bella's room I immediately went to sit on the bed. Bella stowed her bag and turned her computer on. She began drumming her fingers on the desk, which was interrupting my thoughts.

Rising from the bed I went and put my hand on top of hers.

"Are we a little impatient today?" I murmured.

She glared up at me intending to make a remark to my comment, but my face was closer than she thought. My eyes glared straight into hers and my breathing was unevenly brushing her face. Reaching out I put my hands around her head pulling her closer to me until my lips touched hers slightly.

Braiding my fingers into her hair I secured her face to mine while ours lips moved in perfect synchronicity. Spending all my time this way would suit me just fine, but I knew this was not the answer. Her arms locked behind my neck, as I slipped one hand down her back, pressing her tighter against my chest. Even through my sweater and hers she shivered at the coldness of my body, my hands began to loosen in response.

Feeling her this way was the height of my life and it was becoming more and more difficult to put an end to it. Pushing it further and further every time we were together like this, my strength was being tested over and over. Bella crushed herself to me making the excitement overwhelming and I almost couldn't remember why I had to stop this.

_Almost._

Pulling my face away from hers, breaking her hold with ease. Chuckling once, a low, throaty sound. My body, filled with excitement, began to fade as I stepped away from her.

"Ah, Bella," I sighed.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not."

"And I should feel sorry that you're not sorry, but I don't. Maybe I should go sit on the bed."

She exhaled. "If you think that's necessary…"

Smiling at her I disentangled myself.

She shook her head a few times, and turned back to her computer.

"Tell Renee I said hello."

"Sure thing."

Bella worked on returning an e-mail to her mother and I went to work on ensuring her safety. Attempting to figure out what I was to do about the vision Alice had. Somehow I would have to get Bella away from Forks this weekend. She didn't need to be here for what we saw would happen. Preferring for her to be far away from the danger that may come our way.

Having no way of accomplishing this, no matter what I said to her she would be suspect. It would not be easy to convince her there was nothing wrong, especially since I never told her what Alice saw, and that I pretty much avoided any questions about it.

There had to be something, a way to convince her without raising suspicion, I just couldn't figure out a way. There were many things I could come up with such as hiking, camping or just going away for the weekend together, but I knew this would bring up unwanted conversations. Being together so long now, she knew me well… well enough for her to know when I was lying. Simple things I could get away with, but bigger things were getting harder to hide from her. She knew me too well.

Well, having a couple of days to contemplate it before I had to make a move, I would give this some serious thought. Pulling me from my thoughts, I saw something near her closet and went to investigate it. Standing behind Bella, examining the flat black box with wires curling crookedly away from the main square in a way that didn't appear healthy for whatever it was. After a second, I recognized the car stereo Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had given her for her last birthday.

"What did you do to this?" I asked horrorstricken.

"It didn't want to come out of the dashboard."

"So you felt the need to torture it?"

"You know how I am with tools. No pain was inflicted intentionally."

Shaking my head in a mask of faux tragedy. "You killed it."

She shrugged. "Oh, well."

"It would hurt their feelings if they saw this," I said. "I guess it's a good thing that you've been on house arrest. I'll have to get another one in place before they notice."

"Thanks, but I don't need a fancy stereo."

"It's not for your sake that I'm going to replace it."

She sighed.

"You didn't get much good out of your birthday presents last year," I said as a brilliant idea crossed my mind. An idea she couldn't say no to and wouldn't be suspicious of. Picking up the stiff rectangular paper and fanning myself.

She didn't answer not wanting to be reminded of her birthday. This is how it all began, the moment I decided to leave her. For all the reasons I thought were right and to know now they were all wrong, I didn't like to be reminded of this, but this was important. To get her out of town this weekend was more important than that, and I would suffer anything to make her safe, the only way to be safe was to get her out of here.

"Do you realize these are about to expire?" I asked holding the paper out to her. It was another present –the voucher for airplane tickets that Esme and Carlisle had given to her so that she could visit Renee in Florida.

She took a deep breath and answered in a flat voice. "No. I'd forgotten all about them, actually."

Keeping a positive attitude, also being careful not to sound over anxious. "Well, we still have a little time. You've been liberated… and we have no plans this weekend, as you refuse to go to the prom with me," I grinned. "Why not celebrate your freedom this way?"

She gasped. "By going to Florida?"

"You did say something about the continental U.S. being allowable."

She glared at me, suspicious, trying to understand where this was coming from.

"Well?" I demanded. "Are we going to see Renee or not?"

"Charlie will never allow it."

"Charlie can't keep you from visiting your mother. She still has primary custody."

"Nobody has custody of me. I'm an adult."

Flashing a brilliant smile. "Exactly."

She thought for a short moment, probably contemplating Charlie's reaction to this request. Already knowing his response, and yes, he would not be happy, but he would get over it. This was the perfect solution to my problem and I wouldn't let it go. We wouldn't have to lie to Charlie and Bella would be with a parent. Finally, I would be with her too. How could she refuse?

It had been too long since she had seen Renee. She talked about her while she slept quite often. It was time she had a visit that was simple and quiet because every time she had seen her in the last year there was something wrong with Bella. In Phoenix last year Bella was hospitalized the entire time. Then, when she came in fall Bella was more or less catatonic. Not exactly the best memories to leave her with.

Also, I wanted Renee to know me under more pleasant circumstances. She only knew what Bella and Charlie had told her about me. I was certain Charlie was not painting a nice picture of me for her.

Scrutinizing her face while she deliberated she gave no indication either way.

She sighed. "Not this weekend."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to fight with Charlie. Not so soon after he's forgiven me."

My face stressed. "I think this weekend it perfect," I muttered.

She shook her head. "Another time."

Thinking of something fast, as much as I hated sounding selfish, if she believed it was for me, she may agree.

"You aren't the only one who's been trapped in this house, you know." I frowned at her.

Suspicion spread across her face. She knew this was not like me to be so pushy.

"You can go anywhere you want," she pointed out.

"The outside world holds no interest for me without you."

She rolled her eyes at the hyperbole.

"I'm serious," I said, continuing to push the issue.

"Let's take the outside world slowly, all right? For example, we could start with a movie in Port Angeles…"

I groaned. "Never mind. We'll talk about it later."

"There's nothing left to talk about."

Shrugging, knowing I was not about to win this argument at this moment. Why did she have to be so stubborn?

"Okay, then, new subject," she said, bringing up the subject I'd been avoiding. "What did Alice see a lunch?"

Lying with perfect concentration as not to give her the slightest hint of my untruth. I'd been preparing for this question all afternoon. "She's been seeing Jasper in a strange place, somewhere in the southwest, she thinks, near his former… family. But he has no conscious intentions to go back," I sighed. "It's got her worried." That came out better than I hoped it would.

"Oh," She said not expecting that answer, it took her a minute to regroup. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I didn't realize you'd noticed," I said. "It's probably nothing important, in any case."

Hopefully she bought this explanation, she appeared to. She didn't ask any more questions, which I was grateful for, as I didn't think I could keep up the act much longer. Hating to hide things from her I knew it was the best thing for her. She didn't need to know everything, it would just make her worry, more than she already did.

We went downstairs to work on our homework, just in case Charlie showed up early. Finishing in minutes; she slogged through her calculus until she decided it was time to fix dinner. Helping her, I made faces every so often at the raw ingredients –human food was mildly repulsive to me. Attempting to please Charlie, she made his favorite dish –stroganoff from her Grandmother's recipe.

Charlie appeared to be in a good mood when he got home. Not even going out of his way to be rude to me. Excusing myself from eating with them, as usual. Going to the living room I turned on the news and pretended to watch. Conversation was minimal while they eat, picking up a bit when they were done.

"That was great, Bella."

"I'm glad you like it. How was work?" she asked.

"Sort of slow. Well, dead slow really. Mark and I played cards for a good part of the afternoon," he admitted. "I won, nineteen hands to seven. And then I was on the phone with Billy for a while."

"How is he?"

"Good, good. His joints are bothering him a little."

"Oh. That's too bad."

"Yeah. He invited us down to visit this weekend. He was thinking of having the Clearwater's and the Uleys over too. Sort of a playoff party…"

"Huh," was all she said. What could she say, that I wouldn't allow her to go? That was going to be a problem, but if we did what I wanted to do there would be no problem.

She got up and piled the dishes together; dumping them into the sink she started the water. Appearing silently I grabbed a dishtowel.

Charlie sighed and gave up for the moment, thought I imagined he would revisit the subject once I was gone. He heaved himself to his feet and headed for the TV, just like every other night. It was now or never, I had to revisit the trip to Florida.

"Charlie," I said in a conversational tone.

Charlie stopped in the middle of his little kitchen. "Yeah?"

"Did Bella ever tell you that my parents gave her airplane tickets on her last birthday, so that she could visit Renee?"

Bella dropped the plate she was scrubbing. It glanced off the counter and clattered noisily to the floor. It didn't break, but it spattered the room, and all three of us, with soapy water. Charlie didn't even seem to notice.

"Bella?" he asked in a stunned voice.

She kept her eyes on the plate as she retrieved it. "Yeah, they did," she was angry.

Charlie swallowed loudly, and then his eyes narrowed as he turned back to me. "No, she never mentioned it."

"Hmm," I murmured.

"Was there a reason you brought it up?" Charlie asked in a hard voice.

I shrugged. "They're about to expire. I think it might hurt Esme's feelings if Bella doesn't use her gift. Not that she'd say anything."

Bella stared at me in disbelief. She was writhing with anger.

Charlie thought for a moment. "It's probably a good idea for you to visit your mom, Bella. She'd love that. I'm surprised you didn't say anything about this, though."

"I forgot," she admitted.

He frowned. "You forgot that someone gave you plane tickets?"

"Mmm," she muttered vaguely, and turned back to the sink. She was angry, and there'd be hell to pay later. But, I had to get her out of Forks for the weekend.

"I noticed that you said they're about to expire, Edward," Charlie went on. "How many tickets did your parents give her?"

"Just one for her… and one for me."

That did it; Charlie's mind was working faster than his words. He was upset, really upset. And so was Bella, she had dropped another plate in the water. Charlie's words finally caught up to him, his spoken words were much softer than his thoughts.

"That's out of the question!" he shouted in rage.

"Why?" I asked my voice innocent with surprise. "You just said it was a good idea for her to see her mother."

Charlie ignored me. "You're not going anywhere with him, young lady!" he yelled. She spun around to see him jabbing a finger at her.

That sent her into flying rage. Knowing this would be her reaction, I loathed having to do it, but I couldn't stop myself.

"I'm not a child, Dad. And I'm not grounded anymore, remember?"

"Oh yes, you are. Starting now."

"For what?"

"Because I said so."

"Do I need to remind you that I'm a legal adult, Charlie?"

"This is my house –you follow my rules!"

Her glare turned icy. "If that's how you want it. Do you want me to move out tonight? Or can I have a few days to pack?"

Charlie's face went bright red, I instantly regretted having started all of this. It got completely out of control and I couldn't stop it.

She took a deep breath attempting to restrain herself. "I'll do my time without complaining when I've done something wrong, Dad, but I'm not going to put up with your prejudices."

He sputtered, but managed nothing coherent.

"Now, I know that you know that I have every right to see Mom for the weekend. You can't honestly tell me you'd object to the plan if I was going with Alice or Angela."

"Girls," he grunted, with a nod.

"Would it bother you if I took Jacob?"

Her father struggled to compose himself before he answered. "Yes," he said in an unconvincing voice. "That would bother me."

"You're a rotten liar, Dad."

"Bella…"

"It's not like I'm headed off to Vegas to be a showgirl or anything. I'm going to see Mom," she reminded him. "She's just as much my parental authority as you are."

He threw her a withering look.

"Are you implying something about Mom's ability to look after me?"

Charlie flinched at the threat implicated in her question.

"You'd better hope I don't mention this to her," she said.

"You'd better not," he warned. "I'm not happy about this, Bella."

"There's no reason for you to be upset."

He rolled his eyes but the worse was done.

She turned to pull the plug out of the sink. "So my homework is done, your dinner is done, the dishes are done, and I'm not grounded. I'm going out, I'll be back before ten-thirty."

Not sure if she was including me, I knew I was in for it when we got out of here. Feeling bad for starting this in the first place, I was not sorry for the end result. It had worked and we would be out of here for the weekend, that's all that really matter to me.

"Where are you going?" Charlie's face, almost back to normal, flushed back to red again.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I'll keep it within a ten-mile radius, though. Okay?"

He grunted something that was not approval, and stalked out of the room.

"We're going out?" I asked, my voice low but full of enthusiasm.

She turned to glower at me. "Yes. I think I'd like to speak to you alone."

Hiding my fear of her wrath. She waited until we were safely in my car.

"What was that?" she demanded.

"I know you want to see your mother, Bella –you've been talking about her in your sleep. Worrying actually," boy, I was truly a monster, to use her mother as my excuse. Not seeing any other way, there was no way I could tell her what was really going on. She would want to be here and I couldn't have that.

"I have?"

I nodded. "But, clearly, you were too much of a coward to deal with Charlie, so I interceded on your behalf."

"Interceded? You threw me to the sharks!"

Well, that was true, but I had her best interests at heart.

Rolling my eyes. "I don't think you were in any danger."

"I told you I didn't want to fight with Charlie."

"Nobody said that you had to."

She glowered at me. "I can't help myself when he gets all bossy like that –my natural teenage instincts over-power me."

I chuckled. "Well, that's not my fault."

She stared at me, speculating. Keeping my gaze out the windshield I couldn't face her. She would figure me out if I looked at her. I got this far; I needed to hold it together a little while longer. Knowing this was entirely my fault. I'd started this fight with a good reason. It didn't change the fact that I was a monster.

"Does this sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place?"

My jaw flexed. "Nothing at all. It wouldn't matter if you were here or on the other side of the world, you still wouldn't be going."

She didn't like hearing me speak this way, but I couldn't help it. Seeing Jacob was one thing, but to be at place where all the wolves were… never going to happen. Not wanting to fight with her, not wanting to have our evening end as hers and Charlie's did.

I sighed, and softened my voice again. "So what do you want to do tonight?" I asked.

"Can we go to your house? I haven't seen Esme in so long."

I smiled; glad she didn't seem as furious at me. "She'll like that. Especially when she hears what we're doing this weekend."

She groaned in defeat.

We didn't stay out late, as she promised. The lights were still on when we pulled up. Feeling Charlie's mood made me smile. Bella was in for quite an earful when she arrived in the house. Here's a conversation I'm certain she's not expecting to have with Charlie.

"You better not come inside," she said. "It will only make things worse."

"His thoughts are relatively calm," I teased, smiling a smug smile. I couldn't help it.

"I'll see you later," she muttered glumly.

Laughing I kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back when Charlie's snoring."

Watching her walk into the house I felt sorry for her. This was not a position I would want to be in, and for that matter it was a position Charlie didn't want to be in either. Almost feeling sorry for him; he was just concerned for her safety, as I was. Wishing I could let him know that I would not let anything happen to her, especially that, not while she was with me.

Driving away a feeling overwhelmed me –the feeling that had to do with the talk –the talk that every parent has with his or her child. The thought… that I would never have that talk with my daughter… or son for that matter. The thought… that Bella would never have that talk either… if she remained with me. This thought saddened me. She really didn't know what she would be giving up and that thought saddened me even more.

What was I to do about that? Was there a compromise we could make? She was hoping for a transformation after graduation, which would leave very little time to have a child. And, just whom could she have this child with? There was no way she would agree to have some else's child, but it would be a nice thought.

Wishing I was normal, wishing it were I who could give her a child, I was suddenly overwhelmed with an empty, hollow feeling. This wasn't right… none of this was right, and, if I were any kind of man I would let her go and have everything she deserved. Since I was such a selfish creature, that when I did attempt to do the right thing, it didn't work. I'd promised I would never do that to her again… and I wouldn't… not for anything in the world. My selfish side refused to let me leave again, unless it was her that asked me to leave.

With that I arrived at home where Alice was waiting for me on the porch.

"Alice," I said.

"Edward, what's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing. What do you want?"

"I want to know what you told Bella?" she asked.

"Nothing, and neither will you. It's all right were leaving town for the weekend. She'll be safe," I answered.

"Where are you going?"

"Florida, to see Renee," I said.

"Are you sure that's the way you want to handle this?" she inquired.

"Yes, I saw your vision, and if Victoria's going to be near here this weekend, I want Bella far away. I would stay and help, but she would get too suspicious if I put her on the plane alone," I explained.

"I know, I know, but maybe you should tell her, Edward," she pleaded.

"No, she can't know, she'll just worry and probably put herself in danger, you know that Alice," I said with chagrin.

"Your right. Don't worry about it, Edward. We'll take care of everything here, including Victoria. We'll get her; I mean there are six of us and one maybe two of her. It shouldn't be that hard," Alice said with confidence.

"Thanks, Alice. I trust you. I know you guys will take care of this. It helps to hear that though, so thank you."

We went into the house where everyone seemed right back into the daily routine around here. It did not take long for things to return to normal. Rosalie was on the sofa with Emmett watching TV. Jasper sat on the computer. Esme was in her room working on some blue prints. Carlisle was at the hospital, always working.

Going to my room, I needed to kill some time before returning to Bella's. The talk she was embarking on with Charlie would probably take a while. Smiling I know how uncomfortable she would be discussing this with him. It did make me wonder what she would tell him, not that there was anything to tell. It still made me wonder. Certainly he knew how we felt about each other, I knew he did, and he was right, we were in love with each other. But what he didn't know was how deep these feelings were, and I'm not sure I wanted him to know. Somehow I believed it was better if he remained in the dark.

Alice entered the room with a vision in her head. One that made me jump up and run. She didn't need to say anything I could see exactly what was going on. Having to stop this before it was too late. Running through the forest I couldn't believe she would attempt such a thing, knowing how this terrified me. Her safety was my only concern and she couldn't be safe there.

Arriving at Bella's house, I went right to her truck; pulling open the hood I pulled a wire. Proceeding to the passenger door I sat on the floor of the truck.

Bella proceeded out of the house and to the truck. She got in, put her key in the ignition and turned it. The engine clicked and she tried again. Still nothing. She looked to the left and jumped.

"Gah!" she gasped in shock when she saw that she was not alone.

Sitting very still, she hadn't noticed me. Moving my hand I turned the wire around and around in my hands. Staring at the object as I spoke.

"Alice called," I murmured.

She didn't say anything. She must've forgot about Alice. I'd had her watching Bella for anything that may happen.

"She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago."

Her eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider.

"Because she can't see the wolves, you know," I explained in the same low murmur. "Had you forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldn't know that part I realize that. But you can understand why that might make me a little… anxious? Alice saw you disappear, and she couldn't even tell if you'd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs."

"We're not sure why this is. Some natural defense they're born with?" speaking primarily for myself, still twirling her engine part in my hand. "That doesn't seem entirely likely, since I haven't had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Black's at least. Carlisle theorizes that it's because their lives are so ruled by their transformation. It's more an involuntary reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when they shift from one form to the other, they don't really even exist. The future can't hold them…"

She listened but said nothing.

"I'll put your car back together in time for school, in case you'd like to drive yourself," I assured her after a minute.

With anger riveting through her, she retrieved her keys and swiftly climbed out of the truck.

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand," I whispered just before she slammed the door.

She stomped into the house, slamming that door, too.

Loathing the fact that I made her angry, it couldn't be helped. Her safety was a bigger concern, then how she felt about me. Protecting her was the most important part of my life now. There could be nothing else more important than her safety.

Easing out of the truck I went around the house to my treetop to wait. Waiting to see if she would rather not see me again tonight. I would quite understand if she shut me out, I wished she wouldn't, but if she did, I'd wait. Wait for her to allow me to come in again.

After a while she entered her room. She shoved the metal frame closed, roughly, breaking my non-beating heart. She paused staring out the glass for a moment. Then she sighed, and opened the window as wide as it would go, sending a warm chill threw me. This was my angel, never remaining angry with me for too long.

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing.**_


	3. Chapter 3

AGENDAS

The flight home was uneventful. Florida was as I imagined it, sunny, very sunny. Having to remain indoors all day was annoying, but there was a good reason to be here, and I placed that reason in the forefront of my brain. Remaining indoors, for the rest of my existence, if it meant Bella would be safe and happy.

It was pleasant becoming acquainted with Renee under better circumstances. She had an amusing mind, more like a child, but pleasant. She had her suspicions, but the thing that stood out the most was her concern for others. Her thoughts for others became overwhelming, just as Bella –she put everyone else's concerns- before her own. The way she processed information was interesting. She didn't see things as other humans did, having a unique way of looking at the world. It was easy to see where Bella got her thoughts from, possibly being why Bella never did as I assume she would. Seeing her mother's thoughts gave me a better understanding of Bella's.

She had her concerns about Bella and I, but there was no more concern than any other parent would have. Giving Renee a different impression of myself… pleased me. She appeared relieved –by the time we left –with the type of person her daughter had become involved with. Making me happy that she had a better image of me, then, she did when we first arrived. My true goal after arriving in Florida was to have Renee accept me as Bella's boyfriend, and for her to be certain that I would keep her safe and happy.

My plan may have worked a little too well. Her biggest concern, upon leaving, was that Bella and I were too close. Renee was far more observant than others and noticed how we were together. Bella had become an extension of me and I of her. We moved simultaneously and were rarely apart. If this was the worst she thought of me, I could live with that. At least she didn't believe I was selfish and didn't have Bella's best interest at heart, unlike Charlie.

"You've been very quiet," I observed. "Did the plane make you sick?"

"No, I'm okay."

"Are you sad to leave?"

"More relieved than sad, I think."

Raising one eyebrow at her, as I drove back to Forks.

"Renee is so much more… perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy."

Laughing. "Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She sees things differently than other people."

Bella fell into deep thought about my last statement, as did I.

After arriving in Florida, of course at night to avoid the sun, we headed to her house. It was a quaint little house, but happy enough. She missed Bella terribly and knew I was the only thing keeping Bella from returning to her. So, as it was in the beginning she was determined not to like me. Her thoughts were unpleasant when she thought of me and I knew this was compacted by Charlie's influence. Believing I could change her mind, I set out to do just that.

By the end of the weekend, she did have a few suspicions about me, but was far more accepting of my relationship with Bella. This was my plan and I was happy it worked. She seemed a little more at ease when it came to me.

Driving home Bella had fallen asleep. This was my time to watch my beautiful angel at her best. Loving to watch her sleep, it was the time she appeared most peaceful. She spent way too much time worry about things she shouldn't. But when she slept, she looked like an angel, an angel with no worries. Pulling up in front of Charlie's house. The porch light was on and the cruiser was parked it the driveway.

Brushing my fingers across her cheek, she looked up. Leaning down I kissed her forehead.

"We're home, Sleeping Beauty. Time to awake."

The curtain twitched inside the house as Charlie peeked out, anticipating Bella's arrival. Hearing in his thoughts I realized immediately that Jacob would be the problem today, not Charlie.

"How bad?" she asked, anticipating trouble from Charlie.

"Charlie's not going to be difficult," I promised, my voice level with no hint of humor. "He missed you."

This was true –he missed her like crazy- his love for her overwhelming. Mixed in his thoughts of his daughters return were thoughts of Jacob, who spent the day anticipating Bella's return. He wondered what was so important that Jacob would call all day long.

Grabbing her bag, we walked to the door where Charlie held it opened.

"Welcome home, kid!" Charlie shouted. "How was Jacksonville?"

"Moist. And buggy."

"So Renee didn't sell you on the University of Florida?"

"She tried. But I'd rather drink water than inhale it."

Charlie's eyes flickered unwillingly to mine. "Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes," I answered in a serene voice. "Renee was very hospitable."

"That's… um, good. Glad you had fun," Charlie turned away from me and pulled Bella in for a hug. This disappointed him as he was hoping that Renee would come to the same conclusion that he did, that I was not good enough for his daughter.

"Impressive," she whispered in his ear.

He rumbled a laugh. "I really missed you, Bells. The food around here sucks when you're gone."

"I'll get on it," she said as he let her go.

"Would you call Jacob first? He's been bugging me every five minutes since six o'clock this morning. I promised I'd have you call him before you even unpacked."

This was it, the reason for my tension. She hadn't heard from Jacob since the night in the forest, when he found out I was back. Hoping that this would not be an issue in our relationship, I can see now that it would. Jacob was not going to go away that easy.

"Jacob wants to talk to me?"

"Pretty bad, I'd say. He wouldn't tell me what it was about –just said it was important."

I'll bet it was important. What could he want now? And why was he so eager to speak to Bella? Why now?

The phone rang then, shrill and demanding.

"That's him again, I'd bet my next paycheck," Charlie muttered.

"I got it," she hurried to the kitchen.

Following after her while Charlie disappeared into the living room.

Bella grabbed the phone mid-ring, and twisted around so that she was facing the wall. "Hello?"

Attempting to hide from me while she had this conversation with Jacob, I couldn't allow that. Needing to hear exactly what was said, I needed to know what he might tell her. Wishing I had time to prepare, time to find out what went on while we were gone, before I had to face her with what I've done. Leave it to Jacob Black, to put aside his unhappiness with my return, to unleash the information about Victoria. Not believing he was someone I had to worry about, and as usual, I was wrong.

Wishing I could provide her space, some privacy to take this phone call, I couldn't. Listening intently, I had to know the meaning behind this phone call.

Bella cleared her throat. "Yes," she answered.

"Why didn't you call me?" Jacob demanded.

Not liking the tone he used with her. "Because I've been in the house for exactly four seconds and your call interrupted Charlie telling me that you'd called."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Sure. Now, why are you harassing Charlie?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself. Go ahead?"

There was a short pause. This was a hostel conversation, which meant things weren't as bad as I first anticipated.

"You going to school tomorrow?"

Bella frowned. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno. Just curious."

Another pause. Wishing he would get to the point, he was being very cryptic.

"So what did you want to talk about, Jake?"

He hesitated. "Nothing really, I guess. I… wanted to hear your voice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm so glad you called me, Jake. I…"

"I have to go," he said abruptly.

"What?"

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

"But Jake…"

She stood stunned by the conversation for a moment. I myself was a little surprised by the length of their conversation. It made me wonder what Jacob was up to.

"That was short," she muttered.

"Is everything all right?" I asked, my voice low and careful.

She turned to look at me. "I don't know. I wonder what that was about."

"Your guess is probably better than mine," I said, with a hint of a smile.

"Mmm," she murmured.

Knowing how difficult it was for her, not to have Jacob in her life, I felt awful. Wishing there was some way to compromise, I knew there wasn't. She would have to get use to the idea that he was our enemy, especially if she were making the choice she was. Once Bella transformed, he would no longer be able to see her, and the sooner she realized this the better. Ending this now, rather than later, would be in Bella and Jacob's best interest. Wishing Bella would comprehend this –it would be better for everyone involved.

As for Jacob Black, knowing exactly what was on his mind, it wouldn't work. If there were a way to take him out of the picture, I would. Not being able to do that, yet, I'd wait. One day when he was no longer her friend…

For now, dealing with our latest problem would take most of my attention. At some point I would have to return home to obtain the events of the weekend. Being certain there was more than Victoria's return to deal with. More happened this weekend that would make Jacob become involved with Bella again, this I was certain of. But I had to go home to find out more information.

Pulling me from my thoughts, Bella dropped a package of meat that was in her hands, she froze in the middle of the kitchen. Catching it before it hit the floor, I threw it on the counter. Putting my arms around her, and my lips to her ear.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, dazed.

Her mind was swirling with thoughts –not that I was able to hear them- I could see them on her face. Something was bothering her, and she was definitely concerned about it. Never having seen her this way before, she appeared terrified. Whatever conclusion had she come to that made her this horrified?

Shaking her I became alarmed. "Bella?" I asked, truly anxious now.

"I think… I think he was checking," she mumbled. "Checking to make sure. That I'm human, I mean."

I stiffened and growled a low hiss in her ear.

"We'll have to leave," she whispered. "Before. So that it doesn't break the treaty. We won't ever be able to come back."

Tightening my arms around her. "I know."

So realization was finally setting in… Perhaps, this would change her mind. Maybe, this would be enough to make her reconsider her decision.

"Ahem," Charlie cleared his voice loudly behind us.

Bella jumped breaking free from my arms. Casually, I leaned against the counter. Worry and anger washed threw me. Worried about Bella's reaction to the realization she's had and angry with Jacob Black for bringing this all on so suddenly.

"If you don't want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza," Charlie hinted.

"No, that's okay, I'm already started."

"Okay," Charlie said. He propped himself against the doorframe, folding his arms.

Bella sighed and got to work. Taking this as my cue to leave. Kissing her forehead, I walked passed Charlie and out the front door.

Arriving home Alice was waiting for me on the porch.

"How was Jacksonville?" she asked.

"Very nice. Fill me in on what's been going on here," I asked.

"Well, she was here."

"What happened?"

"We tracked her to the line, but she kept right on the boundary of the reservation. I swear Edward, it was like she new exactly where it was."

Getting the rest of the story out of her mind, I was angry. Being that close, allowing her to slip through because of the wolves. Knowing they would be a problem, what with them being new, they were hard to control. According to her, Emmett and one of the wolves, almost got into a fight. This piece of information didn't please me, Emmett should have known better. Once that happened, it got worse with everyone getting involved and tensions running very high.

Wishing I were here, there would be no escaping for her. The problems seemed to be piling on; first there was Victoria, now we had to worry about the wolves. How could my family allow this to happen? What were they thinking? I suppose I would have to take care of this myself, which I should've done in the first place.

"Let's go inside," I said to Alice.

"After you," waving her hand out in front of her, motioning me to go first.

As I stepped through the door Emmett jumped up to meet me.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. But those wolves had it coming," se said apologetically.

"It's alright, Emmett."

"No, we should have got her, it's my fault we didn't. I really am sorry."

"I know you are. Don't worry we'll get her next time. Where's Carlisle?" I asked.

"Working. How was your trip? Did you and Bella have a good time?" Esme asked on her way down the stairs.

"Yes, it was good. Thank you," I answered as she pulled me tight in a hug.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Not to worry, Edward. Victoria will be back and we will take care of her next time. The wolves caught us off guard, but that won't happen again," Esme added.

"I know, besides I'll be here next time and I have a one track mind."

Proceeding to my room to wait for my time to return to Bella. Putting on the stereo to listen to some music, Alice followed me.

"Edward, I'm really sorry. I know how important this was to you," she offered.

"It's not your fault. Don't worry about it. She won't be breathing good air for much longer," I reassured her.

"She'll be back she's quite determined. I haven't seen anything else yet, but I'm watching," Alice said.

"I know, Alice. Thanks. It'll be alright."

After Alice left, I listened to music until it was time to return to Bella.

Entering her room quietly, so I wouldn't wake her, she lay sleeping as I resumed my place in her rocker. Staring at her in the moonlight, she was the most exquisite looking thing I'd ever seen. It was hard to believe she was really mine. With her hair wild around her and her legs pulled up to her chest, she looked like a child without a care in the world. Wishing that was the truth, for her to be worry free, I knew that was not possible. Tomorrow would bring more for her to be concerned about. It was a relief to know she would have one more peaceful night.

Sitting here watching her sleeping peacefully, there was a rustling noise from the forest outside her window. Fear of Victoria's return I got up to investigate. Seeing him running back and forth across the property line. Wanting to speak to him, my desire was to send him away, to never return, I couldn't. The fact was, he was here to protect her and I couldn't send away anything that was protecting her. So, for now, he could guard the house, as long as I was able to protect her from the inside.

His mental thoughts were screaming at me. His thoughts were deplorable as he cursed me out. Listening for a moment, I understood his point of view, but could no longer tolerate his reprehensible thoughts leaving me no choose but to close the window. This made him angrier knowing I was here with her.

Lying down next to her on the bed, I tuned him out by humming her lullaby. After a while I could no longer hear him and rather hoped he'd left.

Driving to school the next day I caught wind of something that was waiting for us.

"If I asked you to do something, would you trust me?" I asked, an edge to my voice.

Almost at school my hands tightened around the steering wheel, attempting not to snap it. How dare he approach us here of all places? This was unacceptable.

Her pulse speed up and she answered carefully. "That depends."

Pulling into the school lot. I should've turned around, I should've left, but I couldn't hide this from her for much longer. It was better to face this now, get it over with.

"I was afraid you would say that."

"What do you want me to do, Edward?"

"I want you to stay in the car," pulling into my usual spot I turned off the engine as I spoke. "I want you to wait here until I come back for you."

"But… why?"

That was when she saw him, and I knew I wouldn't get my way. He was leaning against his black motorcycle, parked on the sidewalk. He stood out in this crowd.

"Oh," she said.

She peered at him wondering what he was doing here. He seemed angry almost dangerous, attempting to remain in control. Ultimately, he was here to speak to me.

"You jumped to the wrong conclusion last night," I murmured. "He asked about school because he knew that I would be where you were. He was looking for a safe place to talk to me. A place with witnesses."

It took a moment for her to process this information and I could tell she was wondering what this was all about.

"I'm not staying in the car," she said.

Groaning quietly, I was afraid of that. "Of course not. Well, let's get this over with."

Jacob's face-hardened as we walked toward him, hand in hand. He didn't like seeing us this way. Why he would want to torture himself this way was beyond me. I couldn't figure him out. Seeing us as a couple only made him angrier.

There were other faces, too –the faces of our classmates. They were all waiting to see what would happen between Jacob and I. Hating to be a disappointment, I was afraid I would have to be, nothing that was going to happen with Jacob and I. Especially not in front of Bella, and not in front of all these witnesses.

He was cursing me in his mind. It was very uncomfortable having him so close to me. Stopping a few yards away from him, I was uncomfortable having Bella in such close proximity to him. Drawing my hand back slightly I pulled Bella halfway behind my body.

"You could have called us," I said in a harsh voice.

"Sorry," Jacob answered, his face twisting into a sneer. "I don't have any leeches on my speed dial."

"You could have reached me at Bella's house, of course."

Jacob's jaw flexed, and his brows pulled together. The thought of this angered him, and he didn't answer.

"This is hardly the place, Jacob. Could we discuss this later?"

"Sure, sure. I'll stop by your crypt after school," Jacob snorted. "What's wrong with now?"

Looking around pointedly, my eyes rested on the witnesses who were just barely out of hearing range. A few people were hesitating on the sidewalk, their eyes bright with expectation, like they were hoping a fight might break out to alleviate the tedium of another Monday morning. Seeing Tyler Crowley nudge Austin Marks as they both paused on their way to class. Disappointment would fill their minds, as nothing was about to happen, not here.

"I already know what you came to say," I said reminding Jacob in a voice so low that nobody would have a chance of hearing. "Message delivered. Consider us warned."

Glancing down at Bella for a fleeting second with worried eyes. She would have to know about everything now, and I knew that if I didn't tell her, he sure would.

"Warned?" she asked blankly. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't tell her?" Jacob asked, his eyes widening with disbelief. "What, were you afraid she'd take our side?"

"Please drop it, Jacob," I said in an even voice giving him a chance.

"Why?" Jacob challenged.

Bella frowned in confusion. "What don't I know? Edward?"

Glaring at Jacob I ignored her. This was not the place for a conversation about this.

"Jake?"

Jacob raised an eyebrow at her. "He didn't tell you that his big… brother crossed the line Saturday night?" he asked, his tone thickly layered with sarcasm. Then his eyes flickered back to mine. "Paul was totally justified in…"

"It was no-man's land!" I hissed, reminding him, that even though I was not there, I knew what took place.

"Was not!"

Jacob was fuming visibly making me anxious that he was about to lose control. His hands trembled. He shook his head and sucked in two deep breathes of air. His actions were making me quite nervous, that my classmates may get their wish, and a fight would break out right here. Doing everything in my power to make certain that didn't happen.

"Emmett and Paul?" Bella whispered. "What happened? Were they fighting," her voice strained higher in panic. "Why? Did Paul get hurt?"

"No one fought," I said quietly, only to her. "No one got hurt. Don't be anxious."

Jacob was staring at us with incredulous eyes. "You didn't tell her anything at all, did you? Is that why you took her away? So she wouldn't know that…"

That did it, I wasn't going to stand here and listen to another moment of this. Jacob Black was not going to dictate what I would or would not tell Bella. None of this was his business anymore and he no longer belonged here.

"Leave now," cutting him off mid-sentence, turning hard and cold. Glaring at Jacob with vicious, unveiled loathing.

Jacob raised his eyebrows, but made no other move. "Why haven't you told her?"

Facing each other in silence for a long moment. Needing to remain in control, needing to be the mature person here, it was difficult. Every instinct was telling me to take him out, but I couldn't. Not being able to hurt Bella that way along with exposing myself to all of these witnesses… was not an option.

More students gathered behind Tyler and Austin. Mike moved next to Ben and appeared to be holding him back. It was rather touching for a moment knowing Ben was ready to help me out. That had never happened to me before. Not that I would allow him to do that, he didn't know what he would be facing.

As Jacob and I were having this staring contest I heard Bella gasp.

"She came back for me," she chocked out.

Holding her tighter to my side, angling my body so that I was still between Bella and Jacob, stroking her face with anxious hands. "It's fine," I whispered to her. "It's fine. I'll never let her get close to you, it's fine."

Then I glared at Jacob. "Does that answer your question, mongrel?"

"You don't think Bella has a right to know?" Jacob challenged. "It's her life?"

Keeping my voice very low I didn't want our audience hearing. "Why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?"

"Better frightened than lied to."

Bella attempted to not be affected by this, to hide her true feelings from me, but I knew. Wiping the tears from her eyes with my fingertips. This is what I was attempting to prevent from the beginning. Leave it to Jacob to ruin everything with his attempt to make me a monster.

"Do you really think hurting her is better than protecting her?" I murmured.

"She's tougher than you think," Jacob said. "And she's been through worse."

Jacob began flashing his memories of my time away from Bella. Starting with her night in the forest, up until, the moment I returned. Hearing about this time was painful, but seeing it first hand, the damage I'd done, was excruciating. The vision of her lying in pain in the middle of the forest, not caring whether she lived or died, crushed me to my very core.

"That's funny," Jacob said, laughing as he watched my face.

Wincing I smoothed out my expression with a little effort. Jacob may have thought that was funny, but I on the other hand, was glad I saw it. Reminding me for the rest of my existence of what I've done, prompting me to never do that again. I should thank Jacob for his memories, the better I understood them, the harder I would work to make it up to her.

Bella glanced wide-eyed from Jacob to me.

"What are you doing to him?" she demanded.

"It's nothing, Bella," telling her quietly. "Jacob just has a good memory, that's all."

Jacob grinned, and I winced again. More memories were flashing threw my mind. This time they were of Bella at Jacob's garage, she appeared thin and very pale, almost paler than me. She didn't look well at all. He had many more and watching was horrifying. Not realizing how bad she was, fortified for me, that I'd finally made the right choice for Bella and myself, by remaining this time.

"Stop it! Whatever you're doing."

"Sure, if you want," Jacob shrugged. "It's his own fault if he doesn't like the things I remember, though."

"The principal's on his way to discourage loitering on school property," I murmured to her. "Let's get to English, Bella, so you're not involved."

"Overprotective, isn't he?" Jacob said, talking just Bella. "A little trouble makes life fun. Let me guess, you're not allowed to have fun, are you?"

Glowering, I pulled my lips back from my teeth ever so slightly, just as warning. He needed to leave as I was uncertain how much longer I would be able to contain myself. Years of practicing patience could be unraveled in a few mere minutes if Jacob continued to talk.

"Shut up, Jake," Bella said.

Jacob laughed. "That sounds like a no. Hey, if you ever feel like having a life again, you could come see me. I've still got your motorcycle in my garage."

"You were supposed to sell that. You promised Charlie you would."

"Yeah, right. Like I would do that. It belongs to you, not me. Anyway, I'll hold on to it until you want it back."

"Jake…"

He leaned forward, his face earnest now, the bitter sarcasm fading. "I think I might have been wrong before, you know, about not being able to be friends. Maybe we could manage it, on my side of the line. Come see me."

She glanced at me and I remained calm, there was no reason to act on this statement. He was attempting to provoke me and I refuse to allow him to. The fact was she was never going down to La Push, it was too dangerous, and I'd already made that clear. She already understood my position on this subject.

"I, err, don't know about that, Jake."

Jacob dropped his antagonistic façade completely. He hadn't forgotten that I was there, but he was determined to act like he had. "I miss you every day, Bella. It's not the same without you."

Almost feeling sorry for him, I knew how he felt, as I had missed her every day, too. It seemed impossible to stay away and I'm certain from his thoughts it's the same for him.

"I know and I'm sorry, Jake, I just…"

Jacob shook his head and sighed. "I know. Doesn't matter, right? I guess I'll survive or something. Who needs friends?" his heart was breaking and again I felt awful for him in this brief moment, I too knew what it was like to lose her. His feelings for her were a lot more than she was lead to believe, this was not simply friendship to him.

In the end, instead of protecting her, I held her defensively, restraining her. Not allowing her go to him, keeping her pinned behind me. Believing this was the best thing for both of them. It was ridiculous to believe they could be friends, and that was never going to happen, it couldn't.

"Okay, get to class," a stern voice sounded behind us. "Move along, Mr. Crowley."

"Get to school, Jake," Bella whispered, anxious.

Releasing Bella, taking just her hand I pulled her behind my body again.

Mr. Greene pushed through the circle of spectators, his brows pressing down like ominous storm clouds over his small eyes.

"I mean it," he was threatening. "Detention for anyone who's still standing here when I turn around again."

The audience melted away before he was finished with his sentence.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen. Do we have a problem here?"

"Not at all, Mr. Greene. We were just on our way to class."

"Excellent. I don't seem to recognize your friend." Mr. Greene turned his glower to Jacob. "Are you a new student here?"

Mr. Greene's eyes scrutinized Jacob, and it seemed that he had come to the same conclusion as everyone else here. He saw Jacob as a dangerous troublemaker, which he was.

"Nope," Jacob said, half smirking.

"Then I suggest you remove yourself form school property at once, young man, before I call the police."

Jacob's little smirk became a full-blown grin, knowing that if Charlie were to show up at this particular moment, it would be me that would be going away in handcuffs, not him. Charlie would find a way to blame me for all of this.

Jacob answered. "Yes, sir," snapping a military salute before climbing on his bike and kicked it to a start. Turning to glare at me one last time leaving me with a warning.

_We aren't finished. I'll be seeing you, _he squealed his tires as spun it sharply around. In a matter of seconds, Jacob raced out of sight.

Mr. Greene gnashed his teeth together while he watched the performance.

"Mr. Cullen, I expect you to ask your friend to refrain from trespassing again."

"He's no friend of mine, Mr. Greene, but I'll pass along the warning."

Mr. Greene pursed his lips. He was thinking it was strange that I had friends such as Jacob, being that I had never been trouble at this school before, he couldn't figure out what was really happening. "I see. If you're worried about any trouble, I'd be happy to…"

"There's nothing to worry about, Mr. Greene. There won't be any trouble."

He wasn't quite convinced of this, but would let it go.

"I hope that's correct. Well, then. On to class. You, too, Miss Swan."

Nodding I pulled Bella quickly along toward the English building. She appeared out of sorts and I wasn't certain she was okay with what just went on. I on the other hand, had some explaining to do, that I was not looking forward to.

"Do you feel well enough to go to class?" whispering when we had passed the principal.

"Yes," she whispered back, another lie.

Many questions were forming in her eyes, and I didn't want to answer any of them. She didn't need to know what happened, and she certainly didn't need to know about Victoria. Making her scared and nervous all of the time, leave it to Jacob Black to unleash things that were none of his business.

We got to class a little late and took our seats quickly. Mr. Berty was reciting a Frost poem. Ignoring our entrance he refused to let us break his rhythm.

Bella yanked a blank page out of her notebook and began writing, irritated. Here we go, she would want to know everything. Even though I didn't want her to know, I had to explain it to her.

**What happened? Tell me everything. And**

**Screw the protecting me crap, please.**

She shoved the note at me. I sighed, and then began writing. Taking less time than her, I wrote an entire paragraph slipping the note back to her.

Alice saw that Victoria was coming back. I took you

out of town merely as a precaution –there was never a

chance that she would have gotten anywhere close to you.

Emmett and Jasper very nearly had her, but Victoria

seems to have some instinct for evasion. She escaped

right down the Quitleute boundary line as if she were

reading if from a map. It didn't help that Alice's

abilities were mollified by the Quitleutes' involvement. To

be fair, the Quileutes might have had her, too, if we

hadn't gotten in the way. The big gray one thought

Emmett was over the line, and he got defensive. Of

course Rosalie reacted to that, and everyone left the chase

to protect their companions. Carlisle and Jasper got

things calmed down before it got out of hand. But by

then, Victoria had slipped away. That's everything.

She frowned as she read my note. I didn't have to read her mind to know exactly what she was thinking. Having everyone in a fight –vampires against the wolves- would make her unhappy. Some how she figured we could all exist together, but she was naïve, not realizing how deep the hatred between the two groups was. The wolves simply existed to destroy us, and that became their reason for existing. Wishing it could be possible, wishing the circumstances could be different, for her, I knew they couldn't be. She would have to accept this and make a choice at some point.

But I would give her time to make that decision. It didn't have to be now and I wouldn't force the issue… for now.

She erased the paragraph I'd just written and wrote again.

**What about Charlie? She could have been**

**after him.**

Shaking my head before she finished, holding out my hand for the pen and paper. She ignored me and wrote again.

**You can't know that she wasn't thinking that,**

**Because you weren't here. Florida was a bad idea.**

Taking the paper from underneath her hand.

I wasn't about to send you off alone. With your luck,

not even the black box would survive.

That was enough of this conversation. She knew all she needed to know, for now. Distracting her seemed to be the best way to put an end to this conversation.She was a little upset with my assumption that her back luck could crash a plane.

**So let's say my bad luck did crash the plane.**

**What exactly were you going to do about it?**

Why is the plane crashing?

Fighting very hard to hide my smile.

**The pilots are passed out drunk.**

Easy. I'd fly the plane.

She was becoming even more irritated.

**Both engines have exploded and we're falling in**

**a death spiral toward the earth.**

I'd wait till we were close enough to the ground, get a

good grip on you, kick out the wall, and jump. Then

I'd run you back to the scene of the accident, and we'd

stumble around like the two luckiest survivors in history.

She stared at me wordlessly.

"What?" I whispered.

Shaking her head in awe. "Nothing," she mouthed.

What could she say to an answer like that? There was nothing that could be said, except that it was the truth. Perhaps now she would realize what I would do to keep her safe, there wasn't anything I wouldn't do to accomplish that.

She wrote one more line.

**You will tell me next time.**

Staring at her face, coming to the realization she was right. I shouldn't keep things from her, not that I shouldn't, more like couldn't. Not with Jacob Black in the picture. There would be no more hiding things from Bella.

Sighing I nodded once.

**Thanks.**

Pulling the paper from underneath Bella's hand, at the same moment I pulled out another sheet of paper. We had caught the unwanted attention of Mr. Berty who was now on his way down the aisle.

"Is there something you'd like to share there, Mr. Cullen?"

Peering up innocently I held out the sheet of paper on the top of my folder. "My notes?" I asked sounding confused.

Mr. Berty scanned the notes –a perfect transcription of his lecture –and then walked away frowning. Teachers hated that I was always more prepared then they were. There was nothing more irritating to them, then never catching me unprepared. If they only knew the truth, they wouldn't be so upset. It's not that I wanted to make them uncomfortable, but after eighty years of schooling there was nothing new, nothing different. Schools, classes, and even teachers were all the same. When would they realize that times change and so should they? That's enough of my rant about the problems that seem to plague every school system. That problem would take a whole other book to explain.

It was time to separate from Bella for now. This was the one class we didn't have together. She was headed off to Calculus. I, on the other hand, was off to sweep the forest in search of Victoria. Not taking any chances with her still in the picture. Being vigilant about making certain we were not surprised by her. Not allowing an ambush, I needed to remain on top of the situation at all times. Figuring with the amount of people keeping watch there was no possible way we would miss her next attempt.


	4. Chapter 4

4. HUNTING

It was a long week. Bella was growing more anxious every day. I wished she would relax more, that she would trust me to protect her. She had to know that I would not allow anything to happen to her. With everything we'd been through she had to know her life was my existence. Instead, she was restlessly waiting for the day her life would end.

With graduation fast approaching, so was my time to convince her to change her mind. Bella was planning to have Carlisle change her immediately after graduation. I was hoping to stall her and have more human time with her. There were many experiences I wanted her to have, many more things to come, but it all rested on her being human. Leaving me to come up with plan in a hurry.

Without a plan and no way of getting her to change her mind, I was left feeling apprehensive. I had one plan, but I refused to rely on that alone, there had to be another way. I could think of anything else that would work, not one reason for her to remain human. I desired her soul to remain intact, but I knew it wouldn't if she became a vampire. With time quickly running out there had to be something I hadn't thought of.

For now, I would bring Bella to my house where my family could watch her closely and protect her. Even though we were all guarding her, she remained panicked. She wanted to push up the date of her transformation, something I was not pleased about. Everyone attempted to reason with her, expressing their views on her safety.

Carlisle had said. "There are seven of us, Bella. And with Alice on our side, I don't think Victoria's going to catch us off guard. I think it's important, for Charlie's sake, that we stick with the original plan."

Esme had said, "We'd never allow anything to happen to you, sweetheart. You know that. Please don't be anxious," and then kissed her forehead.

Emmett had said, "I'm really glad Edward didn't kill you. Everything's so much more fun with you around."

Rosalie glared at him. She didn't think Bella's presence was fun, she thought it was dangerous to have her around.

Alice rolled her eyes and said, "I'm offended. You're not honestly worried about this, are you?"

"If it's no big deal, then why did Edward drag me to Florida?" Bella demanded.

"Haven't you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?"

I was extremely offended by that statement. I wasn't overreacting; I believe I was just exercising preventative measures. Was it really overreacting to remove Bella from a place of danger and bring her to a safe place? If I were truly overreacting, I wouldn't have brought her back. I believed that was the best way to handle the situation.

Jasper had silently erased all Bella's panic and tension with his talent of controlling emotions. She was reassured and stopped pleading to change the date of her transformation, which put me at ease, for that moment at least.

As soon as we walked out of the room her fears returned. She began prattling about what would happen when Carlisle changed her. I wished that Jasper's gift would last longer because this was a subject I wasn't comfortable discussing. I didn't want to encourage her in her quest for damnation leaving nothing left to say. I refused to offer any kind of support, except the offer I had presented to her previously. When she finished expressing her opinion, I offered the only comment I could.

"That's between you Carlisle," I said. "Of course, you know that I'm willing to make it between you and me at any time that you wish. You know my condition," I said with a smile.

My condition was simple; in order for me to change her, she would have to marry me. I wanted her to tie herself to me in every human way before I would take her life. Her desire to have me change her would hopefully be enough to have her say yes. I hoped that might buy me some time knowing that she had such a strong aversion to marriage. But with the option of having Carlisle change her I knew she would do everything in her power to persuade me to do it instead. And I would, if she met my condition first.

Alice had searched the near future for any danger and saw nothing. As much as I was opposed to leaving, Bella insisted I go hunting with my brothers on Saturday. She could be very persuasive.

"Go have fun," she told me. "Bag a few mountain lions for me."

Even though she appeared to be cheerful and supportive, I knew how much she hated when I was away. When I first returned from Italy I had refused to leave her. I had promised never to leave her again and I meant it. But as time passed, and my thirst grew harder to hide, she all but kicked me out the door when Emmett and Jasper wanted to go.

I left Bella a reminder on my pillow.

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me.

Look after my heart –I've left it with you.

My time spent away from Bella was always miserable. When I was away my mind filled with memories of the months I spent without her. These were memories I didn't care to have, but if I didn't go with my brothers they would never stop harassing me, and it wasn't worth the fight. So I would go and suffer through the time to make everyone happy, and hopefully my family would stop worrying about me.

I left Alice to watch over Bella. She was under direct orders to watch Bella carefully. If anything happened Alice was to call me immediately. She wasn't allowed to take care of it herself… she was to call me at once. I was certain she had learned her lesson after the disaster that happened in Italy. Alice would not betray me again.

After expressing my opinion about La Push and the werewolves, I was certain Bella understood what was expected. With Alice watching I hoped Bella wouldn't attempt to see Jacob. I knew Bella's opinion too; she wasn't as concerned about the dangers as I was. She believed she would be fine around the wolves, which had me worrying that she would attempt to see Jacob and that was far too dangerous. Even after the night I disabled her truck, I wasn't certain she would stay away.

Emmett and Jasper ran freely through the forest, while I complained. This had become the norm with us.

"We're going too far," I spoke.

"We haven't even gone that far. Besides there's nothing around here. We're going to have to go further to get anything good," Emmett said.

"I don't want to go to this far," I answered.

"We know, but too bad. Stop complaining and start hunting, Edward," Jasper said and then used his power on me, making me calmer than I was.

I wish that they could understand, that there was a way to make them see what I felt. I knew I sounded like a whining little child but that wasn't my concern, she was more important. Being this far away was the hardest thing for me, and the anxiety that spread through me was excruciating. To me it was hardly worth the risk to be away, if something were to happen and I wasn't there….

"Edward, we are not leaving until you hunt. You decide how long we'll be here," Emmett offered.

"Emmett, please," I returned.

"Nothing is going to happen. Alice would let us know. Stop worrying," Jasper interrupted.

"Fine," I agreed, reluctantly.

Getting up, I ran ahead of them. I caught the whiff of a familiar scent. It was my favorite, a lion. My instincts took over and I was preparing to hunt. Off to the left about a half a mile down he was hunting too. I took off running. It was so easy that it wasn't even fun anymore. This was simply survival and had nothing else to offer me. Having only one purpose now, all of this seemed unimportant.

That was a continued sore spot for my brothers who always loved hunting with me. With no meaning for me anymore, except Bella, there was no possible way of explaining it to them. To appease them and Bella, I would tag along, but that didn't mean I had to enjoy myself anymore. The only enjoyment I had now was my time spent with Bella and when I wasn't with her I was miserable.

Hunting had now become a necessity and nothing more. The fact that I had to leave was not pleasant. Most of the time I remained close to home, but on occasion when forced to, I would venture out a little farther. Never more than a few minutes away from Forks, for I would not miss the opportunity to rid the world of Victoria. I needed to be here for her next attempt.

"Edward, if you don't stop worrying…" Emmett yelled.

"It can't be helped, Emmett. There's just so much that can go wrong, I…" I answered.

"Edward, get a grip. This is becoming…" Jasper interrupted.

"I know, Jasper. But I…"

"Edward, you have to stop. You have to let someone else help you. You can't watch her all of the time. Alice is there and she's watching, she'll take care of her. I promise," Jasper pleaded.

"She will try, but that doesn't mean…"

"Stop, Edward. I mean it. This needs to stop."

Deep into this conversation my phone began to vibrate. Shock overwhelmed me, as I knew there could only be one reason anyone would call me right now. Pulling my phone from my pocket I flipped it open, to see who it was. I recognized the number. At the same moment fury blew threw me.

"What's happened Alice?" I asked anxiously.

"She took off, Edward," Alice said.

"What? Where did she go?" I shouted.

"She disappeared two minutes ago, I'll give you two guesses," Alice answered.

I shut the phone as anxiety flooded through me. How could she do this? Especially at this time? She knows what's at risk. For her to take off and head to La Push at this time was outrageous. She knew that I couldn't protect her there. She also knew we couldn't see anything that might happen to her while she was there. She had utterly lost her mind. How could she do this to me?

"What's happening Edward?" Emmett asked anxiously.

"She's gone to see him. I have to get back," I answered.

"Edward, if she's gone to La Push…" Emmett said.

"I don't care, I'm going back," I shouted.

I was not able to hear their reasoning and I did not want to know there was nothing I could do, here or there. I needed to go back; I couldn't let this happen. I didn't want her to be on the reservation so I had no choice but to go and bring her back. Could I not do that? Was it not my place to bring her back? What else would they have me do? Sit and wait for her to return? And what if she didn't return, then what?

With that thought I took off running. Thoughts flooded my mind of all the things that could happen to her. The anxious feelings overwhelmed me and I was truly scared. Running was a good thing as it eased some of my tension. Bella was with Jacob and I was somewhat grateful, for I knew he could protect her, he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. If there was anyone, other than myself, who didn't want anything happening to Bella, Jacob was that person. Seeing into his mind, the few times I had, there was nothing he wouldn't do for her. But, for her to sneak off and, not feeling the need to tell me what she was doing was very aggravating.

Reaching the front door, I heard the conversation that was flowing inside the house.

"Carlisle, I didn't know. I would have stopped her," Alice was explaining.

"I know, Alice. I know," Carlisle answered.

Flinging the front door open, I entered.

"What the hell were you doing?" I yelled at Alice.

"She made a split decision, Edward. There was nothing I could do," Alice pleaded.

Emmett and Jasper came through the door. Jasper must have caught whiff of the fury blowing around me because he ran right to Alice's side.

"I knew this would happen. I warned you, but no, you told me it would be okay, that you would see anything…" I shouted.

"I'm sorry, Edward. There's nothing I can do if she refuses to help me," Alice shouted back.

"Don't blame her, Alice," I yelled.

"She's right, Edward. If Bella wanted to go there was no stopping her," Carlisle interjected.

"Calm down, Edward. She's with Jacob, she'll be okay," Esme offered.

"Okay? She can't be okay with him. He's more dangerous than Victoria," I said.

"Now you know that's not true," Carlisle said.

"Do I?"

No one seemed to have an answer to that.

"I have to go and get her," I said anxiously.

"No!" Carlisle said.

"Yes, I have to," I shouted.

"Edward, you can't break the treaty. She wouldn't want you to," Carlisle said in a soothing voice.

"I can't just sit here and do nothing. Carlisle, you have to understand," I pleaded.

"Of course, I understand, Edward. But you can't do this. She'll be fine," Carlisle responded. "She's with Jacob. He wouldn't hurt her and he wouldn't let anyone else hurt her. It'll be alright."

Tensions ran very high for a moment. I needed a moment… to process everything. Turning, I headed out the front door, which had remained opened. Once outside I paused on the porch. Not sure where I was going or what I was doing, I froze. My brain froze and nothing would come to me. I didn't know what to do. That had never happen to me before because I had always known what to do, but I didn't know. Emmett and Jasper followed me out the door.

"Edward, if I thought for one minute she was in danger, I would be joining you in going down there," Emmett offered.

"I know, but this is too hard. I can't sit here and wait," I whined, knowing I that I sounded like a pubertal child again, but I couldn't seem to stop it.

"But you must. We can't break the treaty for this. We just… can't, Edward," Jasper begged.

"Fine. I won't go. Yet," I snapped, my anger back in full force.

"What do you mean, yet?" Emmett snapped back.

"She has until noon to get back. If she's not back by noon, you won't be able to stop me."

Turning, I walked back into the house.

"Edward, it'll be okay," Alice spoke.

"You don't know anything, so please stop," I said.

Going up the stairs to my room, there was no use talking about this, I wasn't getting through to anyone. Walking into my room, I slammed the door shut, hoping that would deter anyone from entering. Some of the best-laid plans….

"Edward, I'm really sorry," Alice pleaded.

"It's all right, Alice. You were right, there was nothing you could do," I said. "I'm sorry I raised my voice to you."

"It's okay, I deserved it. I should've…."

"No you were right, if she wanted to go and she found a way. There was nothing you could do," I offered.

"Why? Why wouldn't she tell you, Edward?" Alice asked.

Knowing the answer, I couldn't tell her. The thought was too painful and I didn't want to explain it.

"I don't know," I said softly.

"I'll leave you alone. Again I'm sorry," she said as she went back out the door.

I was confused I couldn't understand what had happened today. Why she would do this? Certainly I'd made myself clear on this subject. For her to just ignore my wishes was unacceptable. What do I make of this? I should've anticipated this. I had anticipated this. So why hadn't I listened to myself?

The longer I sat there the more my mind began to wander. I thought about what they were doing at that moment. What would he do with her, now that he had here there? I knew he would try anything to get her to stay. Was I okay with that? Could I accept if she wanted to stay? I wanted her to make her own decisions, but could I handle it if she chose him. How would I accept that?

Imaging… envisioning my life without her was impossible. Since walking into my world a year and a half ago, my life had become hers. Everything was for her and her happiness. I didn't know how to exist without her anymore and I wasn't sure I could exist without her. During the months I was away from her my life was a meaningless space of existence. Did I want to return to that? No, the answer was always no.

If Jacob was prepared to fight for her, then so was I. If having me fight was what Bella wanted, then a fight was what she would get. Proving my love –that I was the meant for her –would become the first priority on my list. I would show her that I was the best choice for her. That it was I who would love her the most.

As for Jacob, he hadn't seen anything yet. I definitely had more to offer than him. After all, he was a child, an infant really. I'd lived many more life times than he had and could offer things he could never even think of. This wouldn't be much of a fight, but I was ready for it. Apparently, Jacob wasn't going to fight fair, but I wasn't ready to stoop to his level… yet.

I shouldn't be worried about Jacob. What could he really do that would change Bella's mind about me? She already knew everything he could share with her about my family and me. He was probably coming up with a new strategy as I sat here and waited for her to return. I would have to pass by him sometime soon to figure out what he was thinking. I needed to know his plan to figure out one for myself. Apparently I needed a plan. Today had shown me that, if nothing else came from this horrendous day, I knew I needed a plan.

What were they doing at this moment? He was probably walking with her on the beach, a beach that was banned from someone such as me. She'd told me about this beautiful beach that I could never go near. It sounded appealing and I wished I were human so that we could share it together. The thought of her walking along the shore with him….

My mind was running wild with thoughts of what was happening in La Push. The fear of Victoria returning was nothing compared to the fear of Jacob and Bella.

I needed to stop these thoughts. I needed to fill my mind with other things. Could a vampire go insane? I was positive this was insanity and that I was going mad. I wondered what it would mean to actually be insane. Were all of my thoughts about Jacob and her insane? Could she really leave me for him? I knew it was a possibility, that she could leave me, but would I allow her to go? I'd have to… it had to be her choice. It was always her choice.

That's enough… enough speculating on what may or may not happen. With each passing moment I was becoming more and more furious. Mad was not the way I wanted to greet her when she returned. Approaching her angry would not go well. Regaining control before she returned would be my focus now. There was only one way to accomplish that and that was to stop thinking about what they were doing right now.

What could I do to occupy my mind? What would make me forget what was happening right now? There was nothing… that could make me forget. Emptiness washed over me like a tidal wave spreading through me like a flood. The pain was excruciating and I missed her terribly. Although, I knew Bella was safe and I was positive she would come back, I still missed her. I felt as though she would call at any moment, to announce she wasn't returning, that she chose to stay with him, and that would crush me to my very core.

These thoughts swirled my mind not helping with my angered state. These thoughts brought fresh anger to the surface. Was there no way to stop these thoughts? Was there no way I could stop thinking? I could do that… I could stop thinking. How hard could that really be? Okay that's it, no more thoughts.

It was impossible to stop my thoughts; they flowed so unwillingly. Well, if I couldn't stop my thoughts, perhaps I could change them. And just how was I to do that? How would I not think about the most important thing in my life? I'd have to find something else to think about. Again I came up with nothing… not one thing to think about, other than her.

If I had to think about her, then I would think about good memories with her. Alice's vision flashed through my mind of Bella on her wedding day. This was the memory that had gotten me through my darkest hours in the many months away from her. Bella standing in a long white lacy gown, on her wedding day and she was human. Having asked her to marry me, could this possibly be our wedding day? I hoped it was –mostly for the fact that she was human –that thought pleased me.

If she married me and she was still human that meant I had convinced her to wait before becoming one of us. My wish was for Bella to keep her soul for as long as possible. And if she were my wife and human, perhaps we would attend college. That thought sent pleasure throughout me. That would be my dream –if I could dream –Bella and I attending college and Bella remaining human. Those are the thoughts that I wanted to have as memories and hopefully one day they would be.

I wondered what college she would elect to attend. I hoped that it was not Alaska. Bella could do better than Alaska. Personally, I was pulling for Dartmouth, I was certain she would really enjoy classes at Dartmouth. It had a full complement of night courses for me, a huge forest area with plentiful wildlife. She would love college and I was certain I could get her to attend… if she remained human.

Shock rushed through me as the anger began to spread again. How could I sit here and dream about things that may never be, when she was out there with Jacob doing God knows what? Wanting something and actually getting them are two very different things. Sitting here thinking about them wouldn't make them true, no matter how much I desired them to be. Believing we would marry and go to college was just ridiculous when she was off with him.

Was I just kidding myself with this whole relationship? Did I see things that she didn't? Was I wrong putting my demands on her? I wondered if I was wrong, as usual, about the choices I had made. Perhaps she would be better off with… Jacob. He was more human than me, and he did love her. If I were to leave again, would she go to him? She almost did the last time I left. If I had just stayed away a little while longer, she may have ended up with him. Did I step in the way of her fate again? Was she meant to be with him?

With no definitive answers to the many questions I had, I wondered what my place was now. Where was I meant to be? Do I remain here and force Bella to choose between us? Do I continue on as if nothing happened? Or do I fight to keep the one thing in my existence that brought me happiness and love?

Fighting… that was answer… I would fight for what I wanted. I would fight for the one pure thing in my life; fight to keep her in my world… forever. The fighting would never stop until the day she wanted me to stop. I began this with her choice and it would always remain her choice. That was the one thing I knew for certain.


	5. Chapter 5

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

**_5. _**EMOTIONS

Those were the worst hours of my existence. My patience was being stretched tighter than piano wire. Sitting there, waiting until noon –the time I had allotted her to return home was –agonizing. My mind sat on the brink of insanity with the all the possible ways she could be harmed. How could she do this to me? She knew how I felt about her being in La Push. She knew how I felt about her safety being around the likes of Jacob Black and his pack of dogs. It was unacceptable!

Again, I felt the overwhelming to go right down there and drag her home, and again, I had to hold myself to the couch. I used every once of strength I had to remain here and wait. I put my fingers to the bridge of my nose because I was certain I had a migraine, it felt as if it was going to explode. I had a million thoughts swirling my mind that were moving so fast I had trouble keeping up with them all. My sanity was being tested and I was failing miserably.

There were too many things that could go wrong in La Push and I couldn't be there to help her. And what if Victoria showed up at this time? There would be nothing I could do, especially if Bella remained over the boundary. My family would never allow me to cross the line. I shifted my thoughts to finding a way around my family. There had to a way for me to get by them. I could slip out my window and run, after all, I ran faster than any of them. That could work…

"Edward?" Alice's voice interrupted me.

_How could I forget Alice?_

"What?" I snapped.

"No, Edward. That's not the way."

"Geez, you ever hear of privacy," I said angrily.

"Sure, but not when your about to do something stupid," she replied.

"I wasn't going. I was just occupying my mind," I said with a clipped tone.

"I know I thought maybe you could use some company," she offered quietly.

"Why Alice? Why would she do this?" I whined to her.

"Edward, she misses him. He's her friend," she answered softly.

"I know, but…"

"There's no but, Edward. He was there for her when you weren't. She feels she owes him this, to be there for him when he needs her," Alice attempted to explained.

"Alice, I can't handle this, I can't," I pleaded.

"You have to."

"I did this to myself. I should've listened to you last September, when you told me not to leave. Since I didn't, this is my punishment," I said putting my head in my hands.

"Edward, she's not punishing you. You're punishing her," she clarified.

"Stop it. I don't want to hear this anymore. Please leave," I begged.

"Fine, but know I'm watching, we won't allow you to go there," she warned me.

Alice turned walking out of my room, while I continued to hold my head in my hands. Confusion ran through me rapidly. What do I do now? Could I just sit here and wait? If I ventured down to La Push, what would happen? I was plagued with too many questions that I had no answers to. That was unlike me… I was always the one with the answers. And, having no answers was a difficult concept to comprehend.

Bella was my life and it felt as if my life was being ripped away from me. How would I let her go? Our relationship couldn't work if she insisted on being friends with Jacob. How could that possibly work? She couldn't have it both ways. She would have to choose him or me.

Time passed slowly as it always did when you watched the clock. I had no idea where I gathered the strength to remain in my room. I was struggling internally and almost lost a few times. On more than one occasion I stood up getting ready to leave, but would fall back down on the couch and remain. There was a on going battle and every instinct warned me to go get her, but my mind keeping telling me that she would be okay.

Perhaps I was wrong, again… Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time. If it was that hard for Bella to give up Jacob, then maybe her place was with him. Her feelings ran very deep giving me the impression that she couldn't –not wouldn't –but couldn't let him go. If that were the case, then I would have let her to leave. I would not force her it had to be her choice. And from her actions today, I was afraid of what her choice may be.

Tic tock, tic tock, the clock ticked away with all the speed of a snail. I had Alice watching and providing me with the precise moment she left La Push, when she did? I couldn't even contemplate that at this time. I was too furious to even begin to think about what I would say to her when I finally rest my eyes on her again. Until she returned or until noon arrived I had to keep myself busy, which seemed impossible at the moment. I had had enough of hiding out in my room and went down stairs in search of something to occupy my time.

My family had gathered in the living room the subject of their discussion being guess what? You guessed it, the only subject that seemed to exist in our house lately. The conversation ceased as I entered, but their thoughts preceded them. Everyone's main concern was whether or not I would take off for La Push, break the treaty and in turn start a war. They had been discussing what they could do if that were to happen. That made me angry.

"I'm not going. You can stop worrying," I said with chagrin.

"Edward, we are worried," Carlisle said.

"Well stop. I give you my word. She has until noon. I won't go there before that," I promised.

"Fine. But what if she's not back by noon. You know what will happen if you go there. This will mean war against the wolves. We'll have to leave," Carlisle explained.

"Not we… just me. I will let them know I've acted on my own, that you had nothing to do with it. I will not drag you into this," I attempted to reassure him.

"You know that won't mean anything. If one of us breaks the treaty it will mean we all did. If I thought for one moment she was in danger I would go with you, Edward," Carlisle reinforced.

"I know. Let's not discuss this anymore. There's nothing more to say until noon."

I sat on the couch as everyone else went about their business. It left me feeling worse then when I was in my room. Not only was I worried about Bella, now I had my family to consider, too. When had my life become so difficult? How had I allow this to happen? And more importantly, how would I change it?

Here I was again, doing the one thing I dreaded most in the world… waiting. How had I always seem to end up in this position? Waiting to see how my life would change by other people's decisions. Perhaps, it was time for me to take control of my existence, deciding what I wanted and going after it. Why couldn't happiness come down on my side for a change?

I hoped to shift my thoughts as I went and sat at the piano attempting to calm my nerves. I pulled the memento from my pocket –a bottle cap from my first lunch with Bella –and began playing. My fingers flowed easily across the keys as I played Bella's lullaby. The soothing sound of the music worked like a charm. That had always been the one thing that could always make me feel better and I always neglected it. It was criminal the way I could come back and pick up right where I left off, but I was glad I could.

Esme flowed into the room and sat beside me on the bench. She always loved when I played and I attempted to do it for her as much as I could. I should play more because it could take me to a world that I could create. Music could be sad, glad, angry, it could be anything I wanted it to be. Transforming the world around me and pushing away all of my problems.

The song came to a dramatic close and Esme patted my leg.

"Play another song, please," she encouraged.

After a moment I played her song, after all, it was her favorite. She sat beside me beaming love. Her thoughts were just as soothing.

_Edward, you know I love you. She loves you too. She will be back,_ she offered.

Smiling I continued to play her song. How could one person carry so much love? She never faltered, never wavered, and I wondered where her belief came from. How could she be so sure about Bella and I, when I wasn't? Knowing how much I loved Bella, I wasn't convinced she felt the same. She couldn't, a human couldn't feel this much without it breaking her fragile body. I was certain she couldn't love me as much as I loved her. If she did, she wouldn't have done what she did today.

Esme's song came to a quiet halt. My fingers sat on the keys not moving. Not knowing what song to play next, I sat in silence. Esme patted my hand.

"Edward, she loves you. You have to know that," she said softly.

"I do. I'm just concerned," I answered quietly.

"I know. It'll be over soon," she leaned over and kissed my forehead.

Esme got up returning to her room up stairs. I remained seated as I peered out the window. Esme was right, and I knew it. Bella did love me and all of this today was… well, I wasn't sure what it was. What I knew for certain was that I wouldn't give her up without a fight. If he were willing to fight for her, then so was I.

That was it… I could no longer sit here and do nothing. Rising from the piano, Emmett immediately came to me.

"Where you going?" he asked curiously.

"Out to the garage, I have to get out of here," I answered.

"I'll come with you," Emmett offered.

I knew I wouldn't get out of this house without him so I didn't put up a fight. Emmett followed me out to the garage where we found Rosalie working on Emmett's jeep.

"Good, just in time, I need a jack," Rosalie called out.

Emmett went right to her side and held up the jeep. Leaning against my Austin Martin I watched.

"How are you doing, Edward?" Rosalie asked, regretting it the moment she asked.

"Fine. What are you doing?" I asked.

"The jeep needed a tune up. How's your car running?" she asked.

"Fine, it's running really good, thanks," I answered.

We remained silent while Rosalie worked on the vehicles. It was pretty amusing that she would pick fixing cars as her hobby considering how she always felt the need to appear beautiful. To pick something that would get you dirty and mess with your hair, but somehow she could crawl under and around the car and remain looking the way she always had.

I started to think that I needed a new hobby. Something that I could take my frustrations out on, piano playing was just not cutting it anymore. I needed something more hands on, something that required a hammer. A slug hammer would be preferable. Okay, so I was getting carried away, I was entitled to I was having the worst morning of my existence.

_Could time drag any slower?_ My thoughts were running amuck again and just when I thought that I was about to go completely mad, Carlisle joined us.

"How are you holding up, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"I'll be fine. I gave you my word. I'll wait till noon," I answered a little short.

"I know. I have all the confidence that you'll do the right thing."

"How can you have such faith in me? When time and time again I prove you wrong?" I asked.

"What are you taking about? You've never disappointed me," Carlisle offered.

I glared at him while raising my eyebrows.

"I'm always bringing trouble around. Why do you put up with it?" I asked softly.

"Ahh, Edward, love can make us do crazy things. I don't blame you. This will all work out," he said with a fatherly tone in his voice.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"Your welcome. You going to be okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. You don't need to watch me, I'll keep my word," I responded.

"I know you will, it's what happens after noon that has me worried," Carlisle stated.

"I know."

That was all I could say to him. I was unable to promise that I would wait any longer than noon, I was already busting at the seams to head down there now. I'm surprised I've been able to control myself this long. I knew that once noon came there would be no stopping me. I wished I had the kind of control that Carlisle possessed, that seemed impossible, and I knew I couldn't promise that.

Time was at a stand still and so was I. That morning dragged on and on. I wanted it to end, one way or another, but I was also terrified of the outcome. There were two possible outcomes of this day and facing them was the most excruciating thing. My wish was that this day would turn out the way I desired it to, but somehow I had the pain of knowing it could go the other way.

The worst-case scenario, the one I was dreading, was that she would chose Jacob and leave me. That was the worst thing that could happen. That would put an end to my existence and I knew I would never remain here for that. To see her happy with someone other than me would be enough to kill me. The possibility of leaving this existence was only feasible if she were happy and safe. If she left me for him, she would be.

The scenario I was hoping for was that she would figure out how dangerous Jacob was for her and refused to see him again. That was the best scenario I could think of. Although, I had the feeling it wouldn't be that easy. For her to return today with a complete disregard for him was unlikely. She would probably return with a stronger bond with this werewolf, and there would be nothing I could do about it.

What was probably going to happen was she would return with the same story she always had. She would attempt to convince me that the wolves were safe and she was just his friend. She would want to carry on a relationship with Jacob. She would want me to accept this relationship. She never saw the truth because she lived in an unrealistic world, a world that couldn't be real, no matter how much she desired it.

My thoughts turned to how I would react when she came home. What would I demand of her? What would she demand of me? Her dreams of me accepting her relationship with a wolf were crazy. And, if that statement were true, then I suppose my dreams of her ending her relationship with Jacob were just as crazy. Where would that leave us?

An impasse, not the first time I had used this word in our relationship. Here was another time we couldn't agree… another time there was no compromise. I had always assumed that love would find a way, but I couldn't see a clear vision of this problem. The longer I worked toward a resolution the farther apart we seemed. Was it too much to ask this one thing of her? Would I do the same if she were to ask me? Yes, the answer was always, yes. Saying yes to her brought such pleasure to me, I would always say yes to her, not matter what she asked…

Okay, I hadn't said yes to the one thing she wanted, but that was completely different. She wanted permanent changes in her life. Actually, she wanted to end her life and I had said no, but that was far and away more serious than this problem. There was no comparison in the two circumstances. We were talking about ending a friendship over ending a life, no comparison. It would be unfair of her to equate the two situations. They weren't equal and never would be.

Was I really asking too much? Was I wrong to feel as I do? Was this all about her safety or was I… jealous. I had never had those feelings before so I wasn't quite sure. Why would I be jealous of him? What could he possibly offer her that I hadn't already? I couldn't be jealous! I only wanted her to be safe. I only wanted for her to be happy. But, what if I alone couldn't make her happy? What if she needed him too? How could this be happening? Where had I go wrong?

That was easy to answer… leaving her when I had was what I had done wrong. Paying for that momentary elapse in judgment would never end. I was prepared for a lifetime of making it up to her. I never thought it would require me to allow her to step into dangerous situations. I never signed up for that one, I always attempting to protect her and this felt very wrong.

"Edward, are you in there?" Emmett interrupted my train of thought.

"What?" I snapped.

"I've been talking to you for awhile, what are you thinking about?" he asked.

"What do you think?" I answered.

"Snap out of it, Edward. She's going to be all right. She'll be back," he added.

"I'm glad you know that, because I'm not certain that's the truth." I said quietly.

"Well, I'm sure. I've seen you two together, there's no denying that," Emmett said.

"Emmett, do you think I'm…" I asked refusing to say the word.

"What? Edward. Do I think you're what?" he asked.

"Never mind. It's just crazy talk," I said brushing off this conversation.

"No. What? Do I think you're what?" he demanded.

"Jealous…" I could barely say the word.

"Jealous! Huh… I never thought of that," Emmett thought.

"Yeah. Do you think I'm jealous?" I asked.

"Why would you be…?" Emmett asked confused.

"I don't know. It's not unheard of," I said.

"Jealous…" that sent him into a deep thought.

Not exactly the answer I was hoping for. Evidently I wasn't going to get an answer from Emmett. I needed someone who would understand this better. Someone who may have more experience with this type of problem, I needed to find Carlisle. I left the garage and headed for the house.

Walking into the house I ran into Alice who knew what I was seeking and attempted to hide her smile.

_Carlisle's in his office. If you ask my opinion…_ she began before I cut her off.

"Thanks, but I didn't ask," I told her.

Not wanting to talk to her about this, what could she possibly know? She'd found her love quite easily. She never had these types of problems. Her and Jasper were obviously made for each other and never had anyone come between them. Since she couldn't remember her human life, she wouldn't be able to help.

Carlisle, on the other hand, may be able to offer some guidance. He remembered his human life, plus he had been around a lot longer than the rest of us. Going to his office I waited at his door.

_Come on in, Edward, _he offered.

"Carlisle, do you have a moment?" I asked.

"Sure, is this about your noon deadline?" Carlisle asked.

"No, not really. I wanted to talk to you about my relationship with Bella. I need some answers…" I explained hesitantly.

"What's up? What's the problem, besides the obvious?" Carlisle questioned.

"Well, I was wondering if I were just worried about her safety or if there was more…" I couldn't finish.

"Edward, do you think… Do you think you're jealous of Jacob?" Carlisle asked.

"I… I… I'm…" I couldn't say the rest.

"Go on Edward, get it out."

"I don't know if I'm jealous. It concerns me. I don't want to act on jealousy and I'm not sure if it is jealousy. How would I know?" I asked.

"Edward, follow your heart. Your heart will guide you. You'll know what to do."

"Are you sure?" I questioned.

"Yes, Edward. You follow your heart and it will lead you in the right direction," Carlisle said.

"Thanks, I'll try," I said quietly.

"Edward, stop worrying so much, everything will work out," Carlisle said with confidence.

"I'll try. Thank you. I'll talk to you later."

"Edward, are you going to be okay?" Carlisle asked softly.

"I don't know…"

I ended the conversation and walked down the hallway to my room. Settling into my couch for the second time that day, I was prepared to wait out my time. It was coming up on the noon hour soon; it was time to decide on a plan for what I would do when that time came. Was I really prepared to go down there and drag her home? Was I prepared for everything that would come from my actions? Yes, the answer was always, yes.

Going down there would end our treaty with the wolves. Was I prepared to start a war? I wasn't certain about that, but I knew there would be no stopping me when that dead line arrived. There was no force great enough on this planet to would contain me when noon arrived. Going there would make her angry, angrier than I was. She wouldn't see my point of view. That I knew for certain.

I made a mental a list of the things I knew for certain. One, she would be angry. Two, it would start a war with the wolves. None of that would help my argument of how dangerous Jacob and his friends were. Starting a war would make it appear that I was the dangerous one, especially if I went down there and dragged her home. She would see that as dangerous, proving to her the monster I was.

Hearing Jasper saying Alice's name pulled me from my thoughts. Her vision flashed through my mind quickly. The moment of truth had arrived. Bella was leaving La Push. That was my cue to leave and before I knew it I was on my feet heading for the door.

_Edward, handle this carefully. Please,_ Alice begged as I flew by.

Running, I jumped in car and was speeding down the driveway before anyone else could say anything.

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing._**


	6. Chapter 6

ANGER

Driving at top speed down the highway Bella's truck came into my view. Know that I knew she was safe and sound I could breathe again. I followed closely behind her so she would know it was me. She didn't want to face me and she wouldn't pull over. That crushed me. I wasn't certain why she wouldn't talk to me right now making me wish, even more than usual that I knew what she was thinking

I followed inches behind her, but she still refused to look in the rearview mirror. My eyes burned through her mirror as her eyes remained on the road ahead. She arrived at Angela's house, pulled up to the curb out front, but would not look as I drove pass. I stopped down the street and waited until she was safely in the house.

Stomping on the gas, I peeled away from Angela's at top speed, while relief washed threw me. I calculated that it would be a few hours before Bella returned home and waiting one more minute at my house was unfathomable. I decided that driving around town was far more alluring. The solitude of the vehicle had my mind twisting in thought.

Why would she not pull over and talk to me? After all –it was I who was upset with her –perhaps she realized how mad I was. Maybe I scared her, which was a good thing… apparently she needed some scaring after the actions she displayed today.

Keeping myself occupied was becoming exceedingly difficult, so I returned home to drop off my car. Leaving it home seemed a better approach because if she saw my car in front of her house she may leave again. It would force her to face me know as it was time for her to explain herself. Although, I'm not certain any explanation would be acceptable.

After I arrived at her house I climbed up her wall and into her room. Charlie was, were he usually was, down stairs watching TV. And here I was doing the thing I loathed the most… waiting. I sat patiently waiting her arrival as the fury inside me was building stronger with each hand of the clock. I took a seat in her rocker and noticed her copy of Wuthering Heights. Picking it up I began reading. Selfish… hateful people… I was still astonished that she would read such rubbish.

Time passed slowly bringing with it a sense of concern. Concern that my earlier assessment was right, that she belonged with Jacob. My attempt in keeping her all to myself felt morally wrong, but I could see no other way. Her friendship with Jacob would never last –for him and I would always be enemies –nothing would change that, as much as she wished she could.

The handling this situation filled my mind along with the complications that were certain to follow. What would I say to Bella when she returned? Bella would never accept my position on her friendship with Jacob, which left me to deal with this cautiously. This had become the one problem that caused tension and stress in our relationship. I wish I could allow this friendship, that there was an acceptable way, but I knew this was not only a friendship for Jacob. He wanted more. How could I go along with her under those circumstances?

Problem number two remained Alice, who couldn't see Bella when she was with Jacob. That was intolerable! Anything could happen to her and I would have no way of knowing. She had to see my point! There could be any other way. The only solution I could consider was stopping their friendship. Or, I could insist that she choose once and for all. But, what if she preferred him? Would I be able to live with that? Could I agree with her decision if Jacob were her choice? Yes, the answer is always, yes. But, if I were her choice, she would have no choice but to set him free.

After reassessing the situation and arriving at my conclusions, I finally heard Bella's truck pulling into the driveway. The thunderous roar of her truck brought with it the moment of truth; she had finally chosen to face me. I listened to the conversation down the stairs tasting the atmosphere around Bella. Fear filled the space between us. She was afraid of me.

"Bella?" Charlie called when she opened the front door.

"Hey, Dad."

"So, how was your day?"

"Good," she said, hesitating. "They didn't need me at work, so I went down to La Push."

Charlie was just a little too happy about this information.

"How's Jacob?" Charlie asked, keeping his enthusiasm hidden.

"Good," she said, causally.

"You get over to the Weber's?"

"Yep. We got all her announcements addressed."

Charlie was happy with that piece of information. "I'm glad you spent some time with your friends today."

"Me, too."

She knew what was waiting for her in her room as she continued on into to the kitchen. She was afraid to face me. Did I want her afraid of me? Yes, the answer was always, yes. She needed to know the danger she put herself in today.

"I'm going to study," she announced with no enthusiasm, as if she were facing a firing squad, which currently she was.

"See you later," Charlie called after her.

Bella slowly stumbled her way up the stairs and I could sense her fear. I stood in the shadows, next to her open window, my body tense with the fury that was blowing out of every portion of me. My eyes pierced her as she entered the room carefully. She cringed, seeing what was waiting for her and again I sensed the anxiety spread through her. She waited for me to speak, but no words would come, I was beyond angry.

"Hi," she finally broke the silence.

I stood still. I had lost all ability to move or speak. She was waiting for a response, but there still remained no words in my brain. Anger flooded me, making it difficult to maintain control.

"Err… so, I'm still alive," she began.

My chest began to rumble low, but I remained frozen in place, afraid of what may happen if I moved.

"No harm done," she insisted with a shrug.

Moving I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between the fingers of my right hand.

"Bella," I whispered. "Do you have any idea how close I came to crossing the line today? To breaking the treaty and coming after you? Do you know what that would have meant?"

Bella gasped which caused my eyes to spring open. I was unable to rearrange my face, which revealed to her how mad I was. The fury was pouring out of me blowing from every cell in my body. She began to protest.

"You can't!" she said too loudly. Pausing a moment she lowered her voice. "Edward, they'd use any excuse for a fight. They'd love that. You can't ever break the rules!"

"Maybe they aren't the only ones who would enjoy a fight," I responded angrily. Perhaps that's what she wanted, to see Jacob and I fight over her. Why else would she do what she's done? Maybe that was the key, she wanted to see me jealous. Well, mission accomplished.

"Don't you start," she snapped. "You made the treaty –you stick to it."

"If he'd hurt you…"

"Enough!" she cut me off. "There's nothing to worry about. Jacob isn't dangerous."

What would she know about danger? She wouldn't know danger if it hit her in the head. "Bella," I said rolling my eyes. "You aren't exactly the best judge of what is or isn't dangerous."

"I know I don't have to worry about Jake. And neither do you."

Grinding my teeth together, my hands balled up into fists at my sides. Frozen against the wall, fear held me in place, restraining me. Fury blew out of me from all sides.

Bella took a deep breath, and crossed the room. I stood motionless as she wrapped her arms around me. I remained frozen solid afraid to move, being this angry I couldn't be sure of the outcome.

"I'm sorry I made you anxious," she muttered.

Sighing, my tension drained with the sound of her apology. Wrapping my arms around her waist she was making it impossible to be angry with her. Having her here with me, safe and sound, the anger was fading fast.

"Anxious is a bit of an understatement," I murmured. "It was a very long day."

"You weren't suppose to know about it," she reminded me. "I thought you'd be hunting longer."

Looking up at my face she noticed my eyes were still dark. She frowned in disapproval, realizing another hunting trip would soon be required.

"When Alice saw you disappear, I came back," I explained.

"You shouldn't have done that. Now you'll have to go away again," her frown intensified.

That wouldn't be necessary. And after a day like today, it would be a long time before I would leave Bella again. "I can wait."

"That's ridiculous. I mean, I know she couldn't see me with Jacob, but you should have known…"

I'm ridiculous... She's the one who knows we can't see her when she's with him. But, I'm being ridiculous. "But I didn't," I broke in. "And you can't expect me to let you…"

"Oh, yes, I can," she interrupted me. "That's exactly what I expect…"

Now who was being ridiculous? There was no way… "This won't happen again."

"That's right! Because you're not going to overreact next time."

Overreact… there was no overreaction on my part. Overreacting would've sent me straight to La Push to bring her home. "Because there isn't going to be a next time."

"I understand when you have to leave, even if I don't like it…"

She was being impossible and I refused to stand here and listen to this. I had interrupted her, "That's not the same. I'm not risking my life."

"Neither am I."

"Werewolves constitute a risk."

"I disagree."

There was a surprise… she disagreed with almost everything I said. How would I get through to her? "I'm not negotiating this, Bella."

"Neither am I."

My hands balled up into fists again that were pressing against her back.

"Is this really just about my safety?"

"What do you mean?" I demanded.

"You aren't…" she hesitated, not wanting to continue, but did. "I mean, you know better than to be jealous, right?"

Where did that come from? That struck a cord from my emotions from earlier in the day. Perhaps I was, shouldn't I be. Raising one eyebrow. "Do I?"

"Be serious."

Now who's being ridiculous? Her safety was the most important thing, but there were other things at play here. This was no joking matter.

"Easily –there's nothing remotely humorous about this."

She frowned suspiciously. "Or… is this something else altogether? Some vampires-and-werewolves-are-always enemies nonsense? Is this just a testosterone-fueled…"

Fury was building within me again. "This is only about you. All I care is that you're safe."

The anger on my face was undeniable. With so many emotions running threw me, jealousy could be one of them. Perhaps it was jealousy, but there was still her safety to consider, without knowing for certain what I was feeling explaining myself seemed impossible.

"Okay," she sighed. "I believe that. But I want you to know something –when it comes to all this enemies' nonsense –I'm out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are… well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don't care who's a werewolf and who's a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too."

Staring at her silently my eyes narrowed eyes. I wish she could understand, that she could somehow comprehend what this was doing to me.

"Switzerland," she repeated again.

Frowning at her I sighed. "Bella…," I began, but paused, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"What now?"

"Well… don't be offended, but you smell like a dog," I told her.

Smiling at her, I had put an end to this argument, for now. Arguing was turning up no resolutions, quitting for now, we would return to this discussion at a later time. With her here with me, safe and happy, arguing seemed wasteful.

Missing out on the last hunting trip would require me to leave again. And I wasn't sure how it happened, but my family and Bella had convinced me to leave on Friday with Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle. Heading to some reserve in Northern California with a mountain lion problem. Anxiety spread as the day we were leaving drew closer.

"Edward, she will be okay here. Esme, Alice and Rosalie will keep an eye on her," Carlisle stated.

"But Carlisle, with Victoria still out there and the Volturi…"

"All right, we'll have her brought here. Would that make you feel better?" Carlisle asked.

"That would be better, if she were here, being protected, it would make it easier to leave. Would Alice and Rosalie be okay with that?" I asked.

"You know Alice would love it, Rosalie however… she'll be fine with it," Carlisle reassured.

"I would prefer that Bella be somewhere safe with everything that's going on. I'll talk to Alice. Thanks Carlisle," I said.

"Whatever will make you more comfortable, Edward. I'm sure they'll be okay with it," Carlisle smiled.

Bella had made plans to go to La Push and visit with Jacob, but without her knowledge I had already made other plans for her this weekend. I could only tolerate being away from her if I knew exactly where she would be. Without assuring her safety, there was no way I could leave.

I knew she would be angry with me, but that didn't matter, her safety was the most important thing. I had to do whatever it took –and I meant whatever it took –to make her safe. My plan would send her into a blind fury, but she would forgive me. How could she not for I was doing all of this for her? And, if she wouldn't forgive me, at the very least, I'd know she was safe, relieving some of my concern… for now.

There were a few details needing my attention if my plan were going to come together without a hitch. Number one on my list would be obtaining a bed –I couldn't expect an angel to sleep on my couch. I knew just the person to consult before purchasing one. Esme had furnished every house we had lived in.

"Esme, are you busy at the moment?" I asked.

"No. What's up Edward?" she answered.

"I needed to ask you about purchasing a bed for my room."

"Well, I order most of our furniture online. Come in and I'll show you where," she waved me over.

"Thank you. If Bella is going to spend a few nights here while I'm away, I would like her to be comfortable as possible," I said as I went to the computer at her desk.

Esme pulled up a web sight that was an entire furniture store. Having everything a household would need, she guided me through to the section that held the beds. Several beds in fact. Who knew there were so many different kinds? I flipped through the several makes and models, but I was lost and turned to Esme for help.

"There are some many, how do I know which one to chose?" I asked.

"Start with the make, you want it to be good quality. Then you'll have to decide on the size you want. Single, double, queen or king?" she asked.

"King size and very comfortable," I replied.

"I'm going to pick out a set of sheets and comforter to match your room," With a few clicks she was done. Turning to me with a smile. "That's it, Edward. All taken care of and it will be here by tomorrow."

"Thank you, I really appreciate this."

"It's my pleasure, Edward. You go and have fun with your brothers this weekend. Leave Bella to us girls, we'll take care of her," she assured me.

"Thank you, Esme. I'll try," I answered.

I walked back to my room feeling completely satisfied that Bella would be in good hands and comfortable sleeping at my house. I hoped that the bed would somehow make amends, for my actions, allowing me to leave this weekend. Leaving her alone was out of the question, if I were not here to protect her, then I would rather leave her with people who could. Accomplishing this any other way was impossible in my mind.

With my plan in place I was ready to leave. I had told Bella that we were leaving on Friday and returning on Saturday, but had changed my plans without informing her. She was preparing to go to La Push on Saturday and that was unacceptable. Convincing my brothers to leave on Thursday wasn't much of a hassle –they would go anytime –and I had made sure everything else was in place.

"Did Esme talk to Charlie?" I asked Alice.

"Yes, Edward. Everything is set. Charlie thinks Bella is coming for a slumber party while you and the other boys are camping. I'll pick her up from work on Thursday and bring her straight here. She won't be out of my sight the entire time your gone. I promise," Alice explained.

"Alice, make sure that she's…"

"Edward, don't worry, I've got the whole two days planned. She won't have time for anything else. Trust me," Alice pleaded.

"Fine, but if anything goes wrong… I'm taking back the Porsche," I snapped, regretting it the moment I said it, but left it hanging anyway.

"Geez… Edward, a little touchy aren't we. Just go, everything will be fine," Alice promised.

I turned and I went to find the others. Emmett and Jasper were already assembled in the living room anxiously waiting our departure time. Rosalie was on the couch pretending to watch the T.V, but thoughts were swirling around her head. She wasn't as hostile as she once was about Bella and I, but she had some strong opinions about our relationship. On most occasions ignoring her was easy, but today she seemed more earnest than usual.

_She doesn't know what it means, Edward. What she would be giving up? Trust me I know what I'm talking about. This isn't jealousy, I promise. You're a man, you can't understand what I mean, but if she does this, she'll regret. Maybe not now, but some day, she'll want children. It's too late for us, but not her, she can still… I'm sorry, that's just the way I feel. I don't mean to hurt you, I'm glad she makes you happy, but I still wonder if it's the right thing for her… maybe I'm wrong… I hope I am._

I stared at Rosalie with no response, but she wasn't expecting one. She gave me plenty to think about, not that I hadn't thought about everything she was saying, because I had. I knew she wasn't jealous –of Bella and I –she was only regretting all the things she couldn't have. With Bella around reminding Rosalie of the life she could've had, I fully understood her intent.

In my many years on this planet I had never given much thought to children. It was not something in my power to have, so I never gave it much consideration. When something is beyond your control –with no chance of achieving it –you attempt not to dwell on it for too long. Until now… Bella had a chance… a shot at a happy existence. Bella had a choice at the future, the ability to have children, the one thing none of us could have and I sided with Rosalie on this subject. Taking that chose from Bella was too enormous, too much for me to ask. Not that I was asking, but it still felt morally wrong.

There were many more aspects to consider, but children remained the greatest. Once she transformed, there was no going back, and I couldn't expect her to realize what that really meant. Damned to a life on this planet forever. If forever was shortened by unknown circumstances, there was no way of knowing what happened to us afterwards. Could I allow that for her? Could I be that selfish? I was hoping not.

At this moment it was out of my hands, with Carlisle agreeing to take her life, my hands were tied. Convincing her to accept one of my offers, buying me some more time, was my only hope. With more time there had to be an alternative, some other plan.

Carlisle returned from the hospital bringing with him our departure time. With everything set here –the bed set up and Alice picking up Bella from work –my nerves were a little calmer.

"Alice, you know what to do, right?" I asked.

"Yes, everything is under control. Just go and try to have some fun," she answered.

"But, I'm just…"

"Edward, stop it. She'll be fine here with us. I promise. Now go!" she scowled me.

"Fine. See you later. And again, thanks."

All the men were out the door and running through the forest at full tilt. There was eagerness amongst the others, but I remained restless. Running helped. While running there always seemed to be clarity, I could put my worries aside and enjoy it.

We hit the border of California and slowed to a walk. Anxiety was crashing over me the further away from Forks I was, although I tried to control it, it was impossible. Carlisle noticed and his expression was one of concern. He wanted to have a discussion but wasn't certain how to begin. The thoughts running through his mind were not ones I cared to hear.

"Carlisle, it's okay. I understand why you said yes to her, not that I like it, but I understand," I explained.

"I feel bad, Edward. I'm still trying to find another way, but I don't see one," he said sympathetically.

"I know. I haven't come up with another plan either. But I will," I warned him.

"It doesn't seem right, to leave Bella human in our world. Look at you, worried to death every time you leave her. If she were one of us, you wouldn't be so worried," Carlisle said.

"But that's no reason…"

"I'm not saying that it is, but there are many other circumstances in our world that are. If we leave her human, she would be open to many things that exist in our world. Many things that could happen to her, Edward. You know that… you must see that… you can't be there all of the time," Carlisle interrupted me.

"I could try…"

"You could try, but even you, have to see the things beyond your power. And what about when she's meant to go. What then? What will you do?" Carlisle interrupted me again.

"That's the way it's suppose to be," I argued.

"Yes, but what about you? What will you do?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

"That's not true. You've always had a plan for that day. We saw it when you went to Italy. Do you think we would allow you to do that again? Do you think I could stand by and watch that happen again?" Carlisle pleaded.

"Carlisle."

"No, Edward. This is why I chose what I did. I'm sorry that hurts you, but you have to realize what Esme and I would do for you. There's nothing we wouldn't do for you. You're a son to us and we would protect our son anyway we could," Carlisle pleaded.

Emmett and Jasper had caught whiff of a pack of lions, essentially ending our conversation.

My phone began to vibrate and I pulled it out I checked to see who it was, already having a good idea. I shut my phone again placing it back in my pocket. I would deal with that later, there would be plenty of time to hear her bellow at me. Turning to the others who were all staring at me, Emmett dared to speak first.

"Who was that? Or do I have to ask?" Emmett said smirking.

"You know exactly who that was, it's right on schedule," I snapped back.

"She's going to be furious!" Emmett chuckled.

"I know," that was the reason I couldn't hear her message right now. "Let's go do what we came here for," attempting to distract him.

We began to hunt, for that was the reason for our trip.

After a while, I sat on the ground pulling my knees up to my chin and began going over my conversation with Carlisle. He had touched on some major points that needed my consideration. Calling me son was the biggest element of our conversation. That thought had filled my mind since he had expressed it. I had resembled a son in many ways, but the way he expressed it today, established it for me. That was one of my major issue's in my case to leave Bella human, wanting her to experience motherhood. That would not possible with me. Indisputably, Carlisle –a father to us all –would have to realize the significance parenthood.

My thoughts were very confusing. The inability to keep them straight left me feeling lost. When I thought of Bella, soft and warm, her heart beating sporadically whenever I was with her, imagining her with anyone, but myself seemed unbearable. A selfish creature I've always been… a selfish creature I still was.

There was… one person… who I knew would make her happy. That person would also ensure her safety. He had the ability to give her the one thing I never could, a chance at a normal existence, to remain human and have babies. The thought of Bella being with him –my mortal enemy –was deplorable. Denying she loved him was useless… I also couldn't deny his love for her. Was he the right one for her?

With some many questions swirling my mind, Emmett suddenly pulled me from my reflection.

"Edward, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Just thinking," I answered.

"All you do is think. Let's go, there's lots of loins here, they're your favorite. Come on," Emmett pleaded.

"All right, let's go," I said as I rose from the ground.

We all hunted for a while longer. When everyone seemed to have had enough they sat down on the ground. Looking around, we picked a spot on a hill with a vast view of the countryside. It was quite the sight, but I couldn't enjoy it with so many thoughts running threw my mind. They quickly turned to worry, taking out my phone I began dialing.

"Edward, Alice would call you if something were wrong. Would you relax, your making us crazy," Jasper said.

Suddenly all my worries were streaming out of me. It wasn't often Jasper used his gift on me. Using it only in extreme circumstances… this being one of those times. If there were any hope of me remaining for the whole trip, he would have to keep doing that.

Hunting all night and into the wee hours of morning, aside from my anxiety attacks, the trip was going pleasantly. We sat for a break watching the sunrise higher in the sky, it was approaching noon, when Jasper's phone rang. Immediately turning my head to him, he answered it. Suddenly any gift he had used on me washed away. The intensity was building to the point of explosion. I was unable to concentrate enough to get the gist of the conversation. He suddenly shut the phone and stared at me.

"What is it Jasper?" Carlisle asked anxiously.

"Edward," Jasper whispered.

Everything flashed threw my mind. Bella had jumped on Jacob's motorcycle at school and had taken off with him. Alice had witnessed the entire episode. I jumped to my feet as dread washed over me.

"Damn it." I snapped.

"Edward, she's okay," Jasper said anxiously.

"What's happened? What's going on?" Carlisle pleaded.

"Bella decided to have a little field trip of her own. She took off from school … with him," I snapped.

The three of them continued to stare at me. The silence was excruciating. There was no point in saying anything as I had already heard everything they were thinking.

_Not this again. Geez, what's this girl thinking?_ Emmett wondered.

_Well, I guess that puts an end to our trip,_ Jasper was thinking.

_Stay calm, Edward. He's her friend. She's okay with him,_ Carlisle said softly.

As the fury blew threw me it was exceedingly difficult to remain in control. I wasn't able to listen to there words any longer, hearing them was not helping. Balling my hands into fist, I placed them tightly at either side of my temples; pressing hard I closed my eyes. Thoughts swirled my mind, so many I couldn't keep them straight.

My first thought was to run home, wanting to leave, desiring to go back, I couldn't. Frozen in place my body wouldn't move. The anger was so loud in my head I was in danger of losing all control. What was I to think of this? What was I to do? This couldn't be happening… not again. Had we not resolved this situation? Had I not been perfectly clear the last time, apparently not? What would it take for her to realize my side of this?

Returning home now didn't appear the best plan and given the thoughts resonating from the others, it wasn't going to happen. They were considering ways to restrain me. If I returned now –there was no waiting this time –I would go straight down to La Push and drag her home. Starting a war with the wolves was something Carlisle would avoid, anyway he could. I attempted to calm myself by taking a couple of deep breaths. It was Carlisle who dared to speak first.

"Edward, you can't…" he began, but I interrupted him.

"Carlisle, I listened to you last time. I waited patiently, but I don't think I can…" as I was explaining Emmett jumped in.

"Edward! That's enough. I'm sick of this. You have to stop…" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett, you don't underst…" I snapped.

"I do understand. I understand there's nothing you can do. You either accept what she's doing or leave her. It's obvious she's not going to give him up," Emmett rationalized.

"But he's a werewolf…" I began to say when Emmett interrupted me again.

"Listen to me. If you keep this up, if you keep acting this way, you'll push her away. Edward, you'll send her right into his arms. This I can promise you," He came right up to my face. "If you insist on doing this… you'll drive her away. Please reconsider, Edward," Emmett pleaded.

What could I say? No words came.

"Emmett's right, if you keep this up, you'll drive a wedge between the two of you. One you can't overcome. You have to decide. If you make her choose, you risk losing her. Are you ready for that?" Carlisle asked.

Still with no words, what could I say? I was uncertain about everything as I crossed my legs and sank to the ground. That put a new spin on my thoughts. Could they be right? Insisting that she not see him again, would she refuse? If she refused, what was I prepared to do? Was I prepared to lay down an ultimatum?

I refused to answer any of these questions… I couldn't, because I had no answers. Losing her would be excruciating, giving her up intolerable, and I couldn't see a way of allowing their relationship to continue. Where would that leave me? What was I to do? Putting my head in my hands I closed my eyes.

Images came rushing threw my mind very fast… many of them. All were of my time spent with Bella. All of them were happy times. The happiness she brought to me was undeniable. Never having anyone like her before, the chance of losing her now… well that was unacceptable. I refuse to lose her now. There was so much more we were meant to do, much more to experience, together.

How could I accept that her best friend was my enemy? How could we exist side by side? I couldn't see how that would work. If I was unable to accept Bella's friendship with Jacob then I stood the chance of losing her. And, loosing her to such an insignificant thing was excruciating. Perhaps Emmett was correct, but I wasn't prepared to surrender, not yet. Searching for a way to change our circumstances, the answer remained unresolved. If there was an answer, it was escaping me.

I decided not to return home until later because sitting around my house for another day waiting was not appealing. If I was required to wait, here was better than home. Returning home would mean ending up at the reservation, which was a risk I was reluctant to take. She would be safe with him… he could take care of her.

"Edward, what's it going to be?" Carlisle asked.

"What?" I snapped.

"Are we returning home now?" he questioned.

"No, we'll stay as long as we planned," I answered softly.

"Are you sure? Can you wait?" he asked concerned.

"Yes, I'll be fine. I just need to be alone with my thoughts."

"All right, Edward. We'll leave you, but we won't be far," Carlisle answered skeptically. He wondered about my sudden calmness believing I would run off.

"Carlisle, I'm staying. I promise. Don't worry, you guys can continue to hunt, I just want to think for awhile."

Carlisle hadn't moved, he continued to stare at me with thoughts running through his mind.

"Carlisle, if I go back and have to sit in that house again… I'll go mad. I'd rather stay here, not so close to the situation. There is much to consider before I return to her and I would rather do that here, where I can be more objective. So please… continue doing what we came for… please," I pleaded.

"Okay, Edward. We'll let you have your privacy," Carlisle said softly.

As he walked away, I could hear in his thoughts and he believed me. They would leave me alone for a while and I was pleased. Having them hover over me was doing nothing for my anger. Once again I placed my head in my hands and closed my eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

7. TOLERANCE

Anger was a complicated emotion. One I hard time understanding. One that was unexplainable. I wish I could comprehend it, perhaps it would provide me chance to stop it. If I could calculate what it was I was angry about it would provide me an indication of how to control it. I know at one time it was all about her safety, but I wasn't certain that were true anymore. My fear of losing her could more of a factor than I had first presumed. If the anticipation of losing her angered me this much, then, how would I ever leave, if that were best for her?

I had always assumed I would be able to leave, if that was best. What would I do with this new piece of information? Leaving would be excruciating, crushing even, I could admit that now as I have already had experience with that feeling. But, I had never felt dependent on anyone before and I certainly didn't want to be now, not with her, I couldn't. This was my life it has been the way I had lived for years. I had never been accountable to anyone but myself, and I preferred it that way. When had my life stopped being my own?

Undecided… that was how I feeling, unresolved. I was deciding whether I was angry over her feelings for Jacob or that she risked her safety by going to him. Both seemed likely sources, but I couldn't decide which one was more forceful. I was positive it would help deal with my anger if I could only choose which issue it was.

The monster inside knew what he wanted. He was so selfish that he would never allow her to leave, under any circumstances. Sometimes I wished I could be that certain, but being certain would make me like him, and I fought my entire existence to never be like him. I thought about the things I knew for certain, the things that would never change and my feelings for her would never change… I loved her.

The rest of the day passed slowly as I sat with my many thoughts. Thoughts about what I would do, where I would go. Thoughts about how this would all end. I wished I were a fortuneteller, but there was only one person who could possibly shed some light on my future. I had no way to get any information from Alice until I ventured home. Answers to my future would have to wait, which left me relying on my own conclusions, none of which I had.

Carlisle checked on me several times, probably afraid I would slip away. If my head weren't already swelling with my lingering thoughts, I would've read his mind. Not wanting to know what he was thinking, I already had enough to deal with. I didn't want to add to my list of concerns.

"How you doing, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm not certain," I could have said fine, but he would know I was lying.

"It'll be okay, Edward. She'll be fine," Carlisle said.

"I know," that is all I had left, there was nothing else to say.

For the remainder of the time, I sat on the ground and worried about my impending return. I decided it was time to face the music and pulled my phone from my pocket, flipping it open. I retrieved my voice mails and played Bella's message.

"You are in trouble," she said slowly, emphasizing each word. "Enormous trouble. Angry grizzly bears are going to look tame next to what is waiting for you at home."

As I assumed, she was furious. As livid as I was at her I couldn't help soften when hearing her voice. The aggravated sound of her voice reminded me of the heap of trouble waiting my return. How would this play out? With us both furious at each other the situation could be potentially disastrous. I couldn't fathom the thought of returning home and having this argument… again.

An impasse –not the first time I'd used this word in our relationship –apparently not the last. Compromise was a word I had become quite comfortable with, but with major issues plaguing our relationship I couldn't see any compromises. There were no compromises that would appease us both. Everything else in our relationship was easy. Why was this so difficult?

Jasper's phone rang out, pulling me from my reverie.

"Alice, what's happening?" Jasper asked.

Getting the mental picture from his head. Bella had returned quite upset and refused to talk to Alice about it. Other than that she appeared unharmed… just sad.

"She's home and she's fine," Jasper said as he closed his phone.

"Thanks," I returned.

"Well, that's a relief," Carlisle offered.

"Good. Now maybe we can get back to the reason we came here," Emmett offered.

"Yeah, whatever," I agreed.

We hunted for a while longer, until it was time to head home. Running through the forest, my mind was completely full of the events that had transpired today. As time lapsed, along with the knowledge that she was home, safe in my bed, my anger began to vanish. Remaining angry for what she done was difficult now. I realized she was sad and upset. I was unable to remain angry with her under those circumstances.

When we returned to the house, Alice was sitting on her Porsche in the garage.

"Edward, I'm sorry. It's all my fault, I should've…"

"Alice, don't worry about it. It's fine."

Alice ran through the story in her head, giving me a clear picture of Bella jumping on Jacob's motorcycle and taking off. She continued with Bella returning to the house on her motorcycle, soaking wet. I was aggravated not knowing why she was so upset. What had happened in La Push? For a split second, I envisioned going straight down there, to confront Jacob, to find out exactly what had went on. But I snapped out of the vision quite quickly realizing that would be a big mistake. I would leave any explanations for Bella to tell.

Alice's last thought was that she hadn't even driven the Porsche yet. Making me feel less than honorable for having threatened her in the first place.

"Alice, you can keep the car. I wasn't serious… it was a gift… I'd never take it back," I said smiling at her.

"Thank you, Edward," she said rejoicing.

It was silly of her to think I would really take it back. Turning I walked to the house. As I reached the porch, Rosalie was there thinking about a conversation she had with Bella. She had told Bella how she came to be one of us. Rosalie's story was difficult to hear. What had happened to her when she was human was pure evil.

It was no secret that when Carlisle first brought Rosalie home I was not pleased. I knew her when she was human and I hadn't thought her worthy of saving. She seemed such a selfish human and being made one of us would only intensify that. But as time passed and I got to know her it turned out she wasn't that bad. After finding Emmett she became far more tolerable. Rosalie and I have had our moments, but I wouldn't trade her for anything now. A true sister in every sense of the word, we fight most of the time, but there's nothing we wouldn't do for one another. Isn't that how siblings are supposed to act?

When Rosalie was finished showing me everything she had shared with Bella, I was speechless. When I heard her story the first time, it sat on my mind for a long time. To know there were people capable of such blasphemy was hard to comprehend. Fully understanding the actions she took after the fact, I never blamed her. That was the same way I felt when Bella was almost attacked by that man in Port Angeles.

It was always difficult to see first hand Rose's attack and she hadn't thought of it much over the years. But when she did, the anger remained as it had in that moment and it was horrendous. Condoning revenge was no longer acceptable to me, but when I ventured out on my own so many years ago, that was how I justified what I had done. These people hadn't matter and the world was better off without them. I convinced myself of that in order to do the things I had done. It was wrong and many years later I am still riddled with guilt over what I had done. Taking a life –no matters whose it is –was wrong no matter the reason.

It wasn't exactly the same situation for Rosalie and her record was far better than mine. But she was still haunted by her actions after that dreadful night. It hurt to know the pain she still felt, the pain of what had happened to her, and the remorse for the actions it forced upon her. I was left feeling the pain for things I have done, and having no good reason for it. My only solace was that I had changed my behavior in an attempt to exist in a better way.

After Rose told Bella her story, she also shared with Bella her desire to have children. That was a desire that would never come to fruition. Having a child was all that Rosalie wanted as a human, and she wasn't convinced Bella knew the chance she was missing out on. Rosalie thought Bella was making this decision too lightly.

Rosalie's story came to an end leaving me the desire to say something to her.

"Thank you, Rosalie. Thank you for sharing your story with her. I'm sure you gave her quite a bit to thing about. Bella needed to hear your story, so again, thank you," I said sincerely.

"You're welcome, Edward. Let's hope it does some good."

With that I went up to my bedroom. Standing at the door I was afraid to enter, uncertain what was waiting on the other side. I wasn't certain if I wanted to know, either. All of the fury blowing threw me earlier had disappeared. Leaving the only question I had left, what would happen now? Taking a deep breath I opened the door.

Dumbfounded I stood in the doorway for a moment. The bed in the middle of the room sat empty. No Bella, no blankets… for a split moment I panicked. Looking to the left I spotted her, curled up on my couch, blankets on the floor. She was the silliest person I had ever known… stubborn too.

Crossing the room I went to the couch. Lifting her softly I was attempting not to wake her, she required sleep. All right, I was a coward and didn't want to face her wrath. Placing her slowly on the bed, I retrieved the blanket from the floor and wrapped it around her. I lay beside her to watch her sleep. She remained the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. How could I think about leaving such an angel? There was no way I could leave her now, I would never have the strength.

Bella suddenly rolled over and opened her eyes.

"Sorry," I murmured softly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I tensed waiting for the fury, both hers and mine. But I had none, all fury washed away the minute she was in my arms. She was mine and I knew she would remain mine forever. All others thoughts seemed silly now, including any jealousy I might have had. It was much easier being rational when she was here with me safe and sound.

There was no tension in the air. It was as if the night had cleared away anything between us. She reached for me in the darkness finding my hands… she pulled herself closer to me. I encircled her with my arms and cradled her to my chest. My breathing came much easier once again. Her anger had disappeared too. She searched with her lips along my throat, to my chin, until finally she found my lips.

Kissing her softly for a moment, I chuckled.

"I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzles to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often."

"Give me a minute to work up to it," she teased, kissing me again. There were no signs of anger anywhere around her.

"I'll wait as long as you want," I whispered against her lips, my fingers knotting in her hair.

Her breathing became uneven, along with my own. "Maybe in the morning."

"Whatever you prefer."

"Welcome home," she said while my lips moved pressing under her jaw. "I'm glad you came back."

"That's a very good thing." I said as all anxiety about confronting her, after the actions I took, washed away.

"Mmm," she agreed, tightening her arms around my neck.

My hand curved around her elbow, moving slowly down her arm, across her ribs and over her waist, tracing along her hip and down her leg, around her knee. Pausing there, my hand curled around her calf. Pulling her leg up suddenly I hitched it around my hip.

She stopped breathing. I wouldn't allow this normally, but I was overcome with a sudden urge to have her closer to me. The feeling of her in my arms, being this close was exhilarating. Pressing myself against her had me wanting more, she was never close enough. I moved my lips to the hollow at the base of her throat.

It abruptly struck me that she was sleeping on the couch. "Not to bring on the ire prematurely," I whispered, "but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?"

Rolling to the side, I pulled her on top of me. Holding her face in my hands, angling it up so that my mouth could reach her throat. Her breathing came very heavy as did mine. She was driving me mad.

"The bed?" I asked again. "I think it's nice."

"It's unnecessary," she gasped.

Pulling her face back to mine, her lips shaped themselves around mine. Slowly, I rolled till I hovered over her. Holding myself carefully as not to press any of my weight on her, still pressing slightly against her. Her heart was pounding out of her chest and I was sure if I had one, it would be too. Heat coursed threw my body, sending a jolt of electricity pulsing threw my veins, making me feel alive. The softness of her touch made my mind delirious and any attempt to remember why we shouldn't be doing this was useless. She was like fire, burning me with every touch, pushing me to the edge.

"That's debatable," I disagreed. "This would be difficult on a couch."

My tongue traced the shape of her lips.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked breathlessly.

Wishing I could say yes. Hoping beyond all hope it was possible. I came to my senses as I realized this could easily go beyond my control. The fire inside raged on and her words melted in my mind giving me the strength to pull back.

Sighing, I rolled back so that we were on our sides again.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella," I said, disapproval strong in my voice, knowing exactly where she was headed with this conversation.

"I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don't seem to like. Don't get carried away."

It was true she was getting carried away, but my greatest fear was that I was getting more carried away. The closer we got the harder it was becoming to stop.

"Too late," she muttered. "And I like the bed," she added.

"Good," smiling as I kissed her forehead. "I do, too."

"But I still think it's unnecessary," she continued. "If we're not going to get carried away, what's the point?"

I sighed again. "For the hundredth time, Bella –it's too dangerous."

"I like danger," she insisted.

"I know," images flashed threw my mind of her taking off with Jacob on his motorcycle, and of her riding her bike home in the rain.

"I'll tell you what's dangerous," she said quickly attempting to distract me. "I'm going to spontaneously combust one of these days –and you'll have no one but yourself to blame."

Immediately I pushed her away.

"What are you doing?" she objected, clinging to me.

"Protecting you from combustion. If this is too much for you…"

"I can handle it."

She wiggled her way back into the circle of my arms. It was too easy to allow her too. She tested my control again and again, and it was getting harder to resist each time.

"I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression," I said. "I didn't mean to make you unhappy. That wasn't nice."

"Actually, it was very, very nice."

It was wonderful having this type of relationship and something I had never consider. The ability to be this close to her, without hurting her, was more than I thought to ask for. But she had a way of pushing it further than it should go, further than I believed I could control. Everything was about control, without it she could be harmed.

Taking a deep breath. "Aren't you tired? I should let you sleep."

"No, I'm not. I don't mind if you want to give me the wrong impression again."

Wanting to, and I really wanted to, I couldn't. My self-control was being tested beyond anything that had come before this. I never expected there would be something I would want more than human blood. Learning to control my thirst was the hardest thing I had ever done, but this made that seem like child's play. The urge I felt around her was far more powerful than my thirst. How would I contain myself?

"That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away."

"Yes, I am," she grumbled.

I chuckled. "You have no idea, Bella. It doesn't help that you are so eager to undermine my self-control, either."

"I'm not going to apologize for that."

"Can I apologize?" I needed to change the subject. We were quickly reaching the point of no return. That was something I could never allow to happen.

"For what?"

"You were angry with me, remember?"

"Oh, that."

"I'm sorry. I was wrong. It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here," I tightened my arms around her. "I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I don't think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it."

That was the answer I had been searching for all day. Leaving her was the source of all my problems, and now I knew going away again was not in our best interests.

She smiled. "Didn't you find any mountain lions?"

"Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea."

"Yes," she agreed.

"I won't do it again."

"Okay," she said easily. "But slumber parties do have their advantages…" she curled herself closer to me, pressing her lips into the indentation over my collarbone. "You can hold me hostage any time you want."

"Mmm," I sighed. "I may take you up on that."

"So is it my turn now?"

"Your turn?" I was confused.

"To apologize."

"What do you have to apologize for?"

"Aren't you mad at me?" she asked blankly.

"No."

Her eyebrows pulled together. "Didn't you see Alice when you got home?"

"Yes –why?"

"Are you going to take her Porsche back?"

"Of course not. It was a gift," I answered, insulted at the thought.

"Don't you know what I did?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm always interested in everything you do –but you don't have to tell me unless you want to."

"But I went to La Push."

And there it was, the subject I had no answers to. Until now, pushing her away from Jacob had not worked. Jasper and Emmett were right, it was wrong for me to make her chose and I wouldn't do it. Instead, I would trust her judgment when it came to him, allowing her to visit, after all, he would keep her safe. Forcing her to make a choice may not turn out as I planned, and I wasn't willing to risk our relationship.

"I know."

"And I ditched school."

"So did I."

She traced my face with her fingertips, silent for a moment. "Where did all this tolerance come from?" she demanded.

I sighed. "I decided that you were right. My problem before was more about my… prejudice against werewolves than anything else. I'm going to try to be more reasonable and trust your judgment. If you say it's safe, then I'll believe you."

"Wow."

"And… most importantly… I'm not willing to let this drive a wedge between us."

Putting her head on my chest, she closed her eyes.

"So," I murmured. "Did you make plans to go back to La Push again soon?"

She refused to answer and I was certain she thought I was testing her, that I really didn't accept her relationship with Jacob. She needed to know that I meant everything word I said.

"Just so that I can make my own plans," I explained quickly. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hurry back because I'm sitting around waiting for you."

"No," she said in a strange voice. "I don't have plans to go back."

"Oh. You don't have to do that for me."

"I don't think I'm welcome anymore," she whispered.

"Did you run over someone's cat?" I asked lightly. Not wanting her to tell me anything she didn't want to, but I was curious as to why she wouldn't go back now. What had change so dramatically in one day?

"No," she took a deep breath and began mumbling quickly. "I thought Jacob would have realized… I didn't think it would surprise him."

I didn't know how to respond to this knowing that Jacob and I would be on the same page about Bella's human status. I understood his thoughts, but it still annoyed me that he would be angry with Bella and make her feel unhappy.

"He wasn't expecting… that it was so soon."

"Ah," I said quietly.

"He said he'd rather see me dead," her voice broke on the last word.

It was difficult controlling my temper as anger flooded threw me. For the slightest moment I imagined going to Jacob and killing him for saying that to her. It wouldn't require much to end his life. I snapped out of my reverie needing to calm myself before I spoke again, she couldn't see this reaction from me.

Pulling her closer to my chest. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought you'd be glad," she whispered.

"Glad over something that's hurt you?" I murmured into her hair. "I don't think so, Bella."

She sighed and then relaxed pressing herself to the shape of my body. I found it challenging to contain the anger aimed at Jacob for his reaction to Bella. What I really wanted to do was go down there and…

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"It's nothing."

"You can tell me."

Telling her this would only make her more upset. She didn't need to know what I was thinking, it would not make her happy, and it may undermine my tolerance of him.

Pausing for a moment. "It might make you angry."

"I still want to know."

I sighed. "I could quite literally kill him for saying that to you. I want to."

She laughed halfheartedly. "I guess it's a good thing you've got so much self-control."

"I could slip," I offered, thoughtfully.

"If you're going to have a lapse in control, I can think of a better place for it," she reached for my face attempting to kiss me. My arms held her tighter to restrain her. She was tempting my self-control in every aspect tonight. My emotions were already spiraling out of control.

I sighed. "Must I always be the responsible one?"

She grinned in the darkness. "No. Let me be in charge of responsibility for a few minutes… or hours."

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Wait –there was something else I wanted to ask you about."

"What's that?"

"I was talking to Rosalie last night…"

Growing tense again, that was something I rather wished she hadn't bring up. I was always unhappy discussing her transformation. "Yes. She was thinking about that when I got in. She gave you quite a lot to consider, didn't she?"

I hoped this would be a short conversation. She paused for a moment before answering.

"She told me a little bit… about the time your family lived in Denali."

Not exactly the response I was expecting, where she was going with this. "Yes?" I answered hesitantly.

"She mentioned something about a bunch of female vampires… and you."

What was this? What had Rosalie told her? She couldn't have told her anything, as there was nothing to tell. She was expecting some kind of response, but I didn't have one.

"Don't worry," she said, after the silence had grown uncomfortable. "She told me you didn't… show any preference. But I was just wondering, you know, if any of them had. Shown a preference for you, I mean."

_Don't answer that_, my brain snapped immediately. I had known enough about love to not answer that question.

"Which one?" she asked, attempting to control her voice but not managing well. "Or was there more than one?"

_Don't answer… don't answer… don't answer._ That was the mantra my brain said to me over and over. Besides there was nothing to answer, there was nothing to say.

"Alice will tell me," she said. "I'll go ask her right now."

I tightened my arms around her so she couldn't get away.

"It's late," I said nervously. "Besides, I think Alice stepped out…"

""It's bad," she guessed. "It's really bad, isn't it?" she began panicking, her heart accelerated, as I'm sure her imagination was running wild.

"Calm down, Bella," I said, kissing the tip of her nose. "You're being absurd."

Nothing had gone on with anyone else, ever in my existence. She was the only one.

"Am I? Then why won't you tell me?"

"Because there's nothing to tell. You're blowing this wildly out of proportion."

"Which one?" she insisted.

Sighing, I suppose I wasn't getting out of this without some sort of answer. "Tanya expressed a little interest. I let her know, in a very courteous, gentlemanly fashion, that I did not return that interest. End of story."

I hoped that would put an end to this line of questioning, but somehow I knew it wouldn't.

"Tell me something –what does Tanya look like?"

_Don't answer that,_ my brain snapped again, but foolishly I didn't listen.

"Just like the rest of us –white skin, gold eyes," I answered quickly.

"And, of course, extraordinarily beautiful."

_Don't answer that… do not answer._ I shrugged, having to give some sort of response. "I suppose, to human eyes," I said, needing to recover control over this conversation. _Say more, say something about Bella,_ my brain demanded. "You know what, though?"

"What?" she asked anxiously.

I put my lips to her ear. "I prefer brunettes."

"She's a blonde. That figures."

_Recover… recover,_ my mind was screaming.

"Strawberry blonde –not at all my type."

My lips moved slowly along her cheek, down her throat, and back up again. I was attempting to distract her and made that circuit three times before she spoke.

"I guess that's okay, then," she decided.

"Hmm," I whispered against her skin. "You're quite adorable when you're jealous. It's surprisingly enjoyable."

She scowled at me in the darkness.

"It's late," I said again, glad this discussion had come to an end. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

I began humming her lullaby as she closed her eyes and snuggled closer to me. That was an extraordinary day with emotions and thoughts running to extremes. What started out as a normal day, quickly turned into a nightmare, ending with something I wouldn't have believed was possible… loving her even more.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

8. TARGET

In the morning we continued the façade of being away on a camping trip, while Alice returned Bella home. Being away from her, for even the shortest periods, was becoming more unbearable. We stood at my car as I held Bella tight refusing to allow her leave. Alice approached and slipped into the drivers seat as I continued to clutch to Bella. I kissed Bella vigorously while Alice's thoughts were screaming at me. Ignoring Alice, I drew back and stared into Bella's eyes.

"I'll miss you," I said.

"Me too. Don't take too long to come over," she responded.

"I won't. See you soon."

"Bye," She whispered.

Letting Bella go, she slipped into the car. I Held the door open and glared at Alice. "Drive carefully, you have very precious cargo," I reminded her.

Alice reacted the way she always had, sticking her tongue out at me. Slamming the door, I backed away. Alice stomped on the gas and pulled away with my heart on board. I watched as they headed down the driveway leaving me standing there until they were out of sight, allowing Bella to go was excruciating. I approached the house already anxious without her.

Walking through the front door Emmett and Rosalie were on the couch.

"What happened? I didn't hear any yelling last night," Emmett snickered.

"Shut up, Emmett," I snapped.

"Well, is everything alright?" he asked smirking.

"Shut up, Emmett. Leave him alone," Rosalie snapped.

That surprised the both of us.

"Thanks, Rose," I said.

"No problem," she smiled at me. "Did everything go alright?" she asked.

"Yes, better than alright, in fact," I answered.

"Really…" Emmett said howling.

"Shut up, Emmett," both Rosalie and I said simultaneously.

That was enough for me and headed for my room. I started up the stairs and as I passed Esme's room she summoned me.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I wanted to talk to you about Bella," she said.

"What about her?" I questioned.

"Well, I'm concerned with what was…" she said with a peculiar tone in her voice.

"What's the matter, Esme?" I asked.

"You and Bella, have you, or are you…" she paused again.

The question in her mind jumped out at me bringing a jolt of embarrassment with it. Never having a discussion such as this previously, what would I say to her? She was growing anxious knowing the question was out there.

"No… never… I couldn't," I answered quickly.

"I just thought with the new bed that maybe you were…"

Cutting her off quickly. "It's too dangerous, I would never put her in that kind of danger," I responded.

"Edward, sometimes when things are new, we have a hard time with control. You remember how hard it was to control your thirst at first. I'm sure this is the same, not easily controlled. I worry. And your right, it's dangerous for her… possible, but dangerous," Esme explained.

"There's no need to worry about that. It's never going to happen, not while she's human, which if I get my way, we'll never do that."

"Okay, I was just wondering."

"Thanks for caring so much," I said before leaving.

Making my way to my room it was strange seeing a bed in there. For as many years as I can remember I had never had a bed, never having a need for one. Stretching out on the bed flashes of our night together filled my mind. They were memories I would preserve forever. Bella's scent had imbedded in the blankets and sheets. I had considered never washing them again, but that seemed too juvenile. With her scent swirling my mind the discussion I had with Esme came rushing back. My mind lost all rational when clouded by Bella's scent and losing control really wasn't unrealistic when my guard was down.

Control was my burden that was stowed upon me when I became what I am, and up until now, it wasn't a problem. Since meeting Bella it was becoming remarkably difficult, but if it were possible to endure my thirst, then indeed I had the ability to abstain. With the dangers set clear in my mind, risking her life that way was inconceivable, but she had the power of persuasion on her side and resisting remained challenging. Control was the key, focusing my brain on the dangers that existed and the ways I could harm her, always helped.

Alice returned with my car, which meant I was able to leave for Bella's now. Going down the stairs, Alice confronted me half way down.

"I take it everything went well last night?" she asked.

"What is with everyone's sudden interest in my relationship?" I asked.

"Edward, in case you hadn't noticed, we all love her too. We are anxiously awaiting the day she joins our family," she said smiling.

"Alice, that's not going to happen, besides, she's already part of this family, remember?" I said reminding her of her very words.

"I know. I just wasn't sure you knew," she said as she made her way up the stairs.

Continuing my way down, she threw one last thought my way.

_I'm glad everything is working out. Have fun today! _she offered.

Making my way to the car, happiness spread threw me, as it was time to return to Bella. Arriving at her house, I got out of my car, and strolled to the door. Ringing the doorbell I was aware that Bella would answer because Charlie did everything possible to avoid speaking to me. I was unsuccessful in changing his mind about me, after all this time. I realized that he would always be unhappy that Bella chose me.

Bella swung the door open.

Immediately my senses snapped to attention, something was wrong. The odor flowing from her house was incorrect. It was a familiar odor… someone had been here, no one I knew, but definitely one of our kind. My eyes widened, my nostrils flared and my lips pulled back over my teeth.

"Edward?" her voice was sharp with shock reading my expression. "What...?"

Putting my fingers to her lips. "Give me two seconds," I whispered. "Don't move."

Moving quickly I swept up the stairs to her room. The scent was strongest in her bedroom –it enveloped the entire room. After checking the bathroom I returned to the front door. Bella remained motionless exactly where I had left her. I put my arms around her waist and towed her swiftly toward the kitchen. My eyes darted around the room as I held her against my body shielding her from any danger.

"Someone's been here," I murmured in her ear after pulling her to the back of the kitchen. My voice was strained and inaudible over the thumping of the washing machine.

"I swear that no werewolves…" she started to say.

"Not one of them," I interrupted her quickly, shaking my head. "One of us."

Who could it be? What were they looking for? Needing answers there was only one place I could get them. My thoughts were spiraling quickly around my mind.

Bella was scared, the blood draining from her face.

"Victoria?" she choked out.

"It's not a scent I recognized."

"One of the Volturi," she guessed.

"Probably," I answered without thought.

"When?"

"That's why I think it must have been them –it wasn't long ago, early this morning while Charlie was sleeping. And, whoever it was didn't touch him, so there must have been another purpose."

What were they doing here? It was much too soon, for the Volturi to be looking for Bella. Her human status shouldn't be an issue to them for at least a few years. That led me to believe that there was something else they were looking for.

"Looking for me?" Bella asked.

I refused to answer and my body froze turning statuesque. I heard Charlie approaching wondering what we were whispering about.

"What are you two hissing about in here?" Charlie asked suspiciously, rounding the corner with an empty popcorn bowl in his hands. His suspicions were unfounded as he assumed we were fighting. Bella stood horror stricken unable to answer him.

Charlie's expression changed. Abruptly, he was grinning. "If you two are having a fight… well, don't let me interrupt."

He sauntered out of the kitchen returning to the living room. I ignored his rude comments because I had more pressing problems to worry about at the moment.

"Let's go," I said in a low hard voice.

"But Charlie!" she was panicked and her breathing becoming uneasy.

Deliberating for a moment I pulled my phone from my pocket. Quickly dialing a number I pressed the phone to my ear.

"Emmett," I muttered into the receiver talking to fast for Bella to understand. "I need you and Jasper at Bella's house immediately. There was someone here and I need to get her out of here. Sweep the woods. I need to talk to Alice… Hurry."

Shutting the phone I began pulling Bella toward the door.

"Emmett and Jasper are on their way," I whispered feeling her resistance. "They'll sweep the woods. Charlie is fine."

Dragging her along, I had her out the door before Charlie could say anything.

"Where are we going?" she was still whispering even though we were in the car.

"We're going to talk to Alice," I told her, my voice at a normal level.

"You think maybe she saw something?"

Staring at the road through narrowed eyes. "Maybe," more like I was hoping Alice had. I was hoping her insight could explain exactly what was going on here.

My family was waiting for us on alert after my call. Everyone was motionless, in various stages of stress. They were concerned both with Bella's safety and our own.

"What happened?" I demanded, as soon as we were through the door. Glowering at Alice my hands fisted in anger.

Alice stood with her arms folded tight across her chest. Only her lips moved. "I have no idea. I didn't see anything."

"How is that possible?" I hissed.

"Edward," Bella said in disapproval.

Carlisle interrupted in a calming voice. "It's not an exact science, Edward."

"He was in her room, Alice. He could have still been there –waiting for her."

"I would have seen that."

Throwing up my hands in exasperation. "Really? You're sure?"

Alice answered coldly. "You've already got me watching the Volturi's decisions, watching for Victoria's return, watching Bella's every step. You want to add another? Do I just have to watch Charlie, or Bella's room, or the house, or the whole street, too? Edward, if I try to do too much, things are going to start slipping through the cracks."

"It looks like they already are," I snapped.

We already had some pretty big cracks… someone had been there. Having this knowledge made me insane, the fact that someone had gotten that close to her…

"She was never in any danger. There was nothing to see."

"If you're watching Italy, why didn't you see them send…"

"I don't think it's them," Alice insisted. "I would have seen that."

"Who else would leave Charlie alive?"

Bella shuddered at hearing the danger Charlie almost faced. But that was the key, leaving Charlie unharmed was important information. Uncertain of their purpose, I knew this information had to be significant.

"I don't know," Alice said.

"Helpful," I snapped.

How could she not know? One of the most important things I ever needed her to do and she was failing. Having Alice clueless disturbed me. How could that happen?

"Stop it, Edward," Bella whispered.

Turning to Bella I was livid and my teeth clenched together. Glaring at her for half a second, abruptly I exhaled. My eyes widened and my jaw relaxed. I regained control and the fury was fading.

"You're right, Bella. I'm sorry," I said looking at Alice. "Forgive me, Alice. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. That was inexcusable."

I felt like a heel and taking my anger out on Alice was unacceptable. I attempted to control my anger… anger would not help the situation. Reining in the anger, my mind switched immediately to calculation. I was calculating all the possibilities surrounding this incident.

"I understand," Alice assured me. "I'm not happy about it, either."

Taking a deep breath. "Okay, let's look at this logically. What are the possibilities?"

Everyone seemed to relax at once. Alice leaned against the back of the couch. Carlisle walked slowly toward her, his eyes far away. Esme sat on the sofa in front of Alice, curling her legs up on the seat. Only Rosalie remained unmoving, her back to us, staring out the glass wall. She was concerned, worried about our family and who this was. She was wishing Emmett would return.

I pulled Bella to the sofa and sat her next to Esme who shifted to put her arm around Bella. I held one of Bella's hands tightly in both of mine.

"Victoria?" Carlisle asked.

Shaking my head. "No. I didn't know the scent. He might have been from the Volturi, someone I've never me…"

Alice shook her head. "Aro hasn't asked anyone to look for her yet. I will see that. I'm waiting for it."

My head snapped up. "You're watching for an official command."

"You think someone's acting on their own? Why?"

"Caius's idea," I suggested, my face tightened again.

With Caius's objection to Bella leaving, it wouldn't surprise me, if it were he who was behind this. He had strong opinions of how the situation in Italy was handled. Would he really go against Aro's wishes?

"Or Jane's…," Alice offered. "They both have the resources to send an unfamiliar face…"

I scowled. "And the motivation."

Why now? Why would either one of them hold such interest in Bella. It didn't appear right, nothing added up. Processing all the information I was bewildered by a motivation.

"It doesn't make sense, though," Esme said. "If whoever it was meant to wait for Bella, Alice would have seen that. He –or she –had no intention of hurting Bella. Or Charlie, for that matter."

Bella cringed at her father's name, again.

"It's going to be fine, Bella," Esme murmured, smoothing her hair.

"But what was the point then?" Carlisle mused.

"Checking to see if I'm still human?" Bella guessed.

That could be an option, but it still seemed unlikely.

"Possible," Carlisle said.

Rosalie breathed out a sigh, loud enough for everyone to hear. She'd unfrozen, and her face was turned expectantly toward the kitchen. I, on the other hand, was discouraged. I was coming up with nothing concrete and it was frustrating.

Emmett burst through the kitchen door, Jasper right behind him.

"Long gone, hours ago," Emmett announced, disappointed. "The trail went East, then South, and disappeared on a side road. Had a car waiting."

Damn it, damn it, damn it, could we not catch a break.

"That's bad luck," I muttered. "If he'd gone west… well, it would be nice for those dogs to make themselves useful."

Bella winced, and Esme rubbed her shoulder.

Jasper looked at Carlisle. "Neither of us recognized him. But here," he held out a broken fern frond. Carlisle took it from him and held it to his face. "Maybe you know the scent."

"No," Carlisle said. "Not familiar. No one I've ever met."

"Perhaps we're looking at this wrong way. Maybe it's a coincidence…," Esme began, but stopped when she saw everyone else's incredulous expressions. "I don't mean a coincidence that a stranger happened to pick Bella's house to visit at random. I meant that maybe someone was just curious. Our scent is all around her. Was he wondering what draws us there?"

"Why wouldn't he just come here then? If he was curious?" Emmett demanded.

"You would," Esme said with a sudden, fond smile. "The rest of us aren't always so direct. Our family is very large –he or she might be frightened. But Charlie wasn't harmed. This doesn't have to be an enemy."

Esme's theory wasn't making sense. Whoever this was, went directly to Bella's house, nowhere else. Someone who was curious about us wouldn't have gone other places. As much as I wanted this to be nothing, it wasn't. This was bigger than I had anticipated. Whoever this was knew exactly what they were doing. Going directly to her house when entering town, then leaving in a waiting car, indicating more than one searching for something in particular.

Alice broke the silence. "I don't think so. The timing of it was too perfect… This visitor was so careful to make no contact. Almost like he or she knew that I would see…"

My mind began processing this immediately. Who knew about Alice? There were only specific individuals who were aware of Alice, so that would narrow the list. Could she be right? Was it someone who knew us? My money was still on Italy, being the most logical solution.

"He could have other reasons for not making contact," Esme reminded her.

"Does it really matter who it was?" Bella asked. "Just the chance that someone was looking for me… isn't that reason enough? We shouldn't wait for graduation."

That was not the answer. That would never be a resolution to the problem. Having been over this subject relentlessly, making this decision would not happen under duress. It would always be her choice.

"No, Bella," I said quickly. "It's not that bad. If you're really in danger, we'll know."

"Think of Charlie," Carlisle reminded her. "Think of how it would hurt him if you disappeared."

"I am thinking of Charlie! He's the one I'm worried about! What if my little guest had happened to be thirsty last night? As long as I'm around Charlie, he's a target, too. If anything happened to him, it would be all my fault!"

"Hardly, Bella," Esme said, patting her hair again. "Nothing will happen to Charlie. We're just going to have to be more careful."

"More careful?" Bella repeated in disbelief.

"It's all going to be fine, Bella," Alice promised as I squeezed her hand.

Nothing Bella could say would adjust my mind, the subject had twisted to one I was reluctant to discuss and I took this as our cue to depart. I had to return her home where I could get things back in my control. Bella could be quite persuasive and all her insane talk could possibly lead to unchangeable conditions. I refuse to allow that to happen, so it was better to be away from my family. They were too eager to have her join us.

The ride to Bella's house was silent. She was upset, not without reason. It must be incredibly terrifying for her under the circumstances. She was so fragile and soft with no way of protecting herself, but I would protect her, she had to know that. There was need for her to be upset, I was here guarding her and Charlie at all cost. I wanted to reassure her and searched for something to say.

"You won't be alone for a second," I promised as I drove her home. "Someone will always be there. Emmett, Alice, Jasper…"

She sighed. "This is ridiculous. They'll get so bored, they'll have to kill me themselves, just for something to do."

Giving her a sour look. "Hilarious, Bella."

She hated the thought of being watched and wanted the ability to protect herself, but that wasn't going to happen. She would have to accept the help we were giving.

Arriving back at her house, Charlie was in a good mood. Sensing the tension between Bella and I, he had jumped to the wrong conclusion, again. He thought we were fighting and I suppose we were in a way –we disagreed on the way to handle this –but that wouldn't last. He wore a smug smile while Bella was making dinner.

Taking the opportunity at dinnertime, to excuse myself, leaving to do some surveillance. Running through the forest, I made a sweep around the property searching for anything dangerous. Satisfied with my efforts, I returned to the house.

"Jacob called again," Charlie announced purposely as I entered the room.

"Is that a fact?" Bella stated.

Charlie frowned at her lack of enthusiasm. "Don't be petty, Bella. He sounded really low."

"Is Jacob paying you for all the P.R., or are you a volunteer?"

Charlie was not happy with her question… he was still pulling for Jacob. Knowing the truth about Jacob he'd probably feel different. Then again, knowing the truth about me would send him over the deep end.

After officially leaving for the evening, I began another sweep of the woods. Running into Emmett, who was doing the same as I, it pleased me to know they were taking this as seriously as I was.

"Emmett," I whispered.

"Edward, is that you?" Emmett answered.

"Yeah. Did you find anything else?" I asked.

"No. But were watching. Don't worry you can go back."

"Thanks, Emmett. You know where I'll be," I said.

"Yeah, somewhere dry," Emmett responded laughing.

"Ha, ha. You're funny. See you later."

I returned to Bella's house, going up the wall and through her window. Barely any time had passed before she came to her room. After a very long day, she took to her bed with me joining her. Lying down next to her, I began singing her to sleep. She slept silently during the night leaving me to believe she was feeling safe. I was grateful she slept so soundly leaving me time to consider today's events.

I needed to figure out who was here and what they wanted. Calculating everything in my mind was maddening and I was still coming up empty handed with no reasons at all. I was very frustrated and my concern remained that we would miss a crucial piece of information, but I was using all of my capabilities to ensure this wouldn't reoccur again. This now changed my list of proprieties.

Watching her sleep, imagining my life without her was unbearable. Was this wrong of me? That remained the question that still haunted me. With everything that had ensued, along with what was occurring now, my place in her life remained uncertain. The pain over Jacob, the constant state of fear, my presence here continued to be catastrophic for her. This made me question my existence here… once again. That was a question I had presented to myself many times over.

What was I to do? At these moments my decision appeared clear, leaving her was the only choice that made sense. How would I accomplish that? Having left once, it would be more difficult now. She would strongly object to my suggestion, so if that's what I decide, she could have no awareness of it. And if I left again… I could never return… ever. Could I really do that?

Instantly Jacob's memories came flooding threw my mind. Memories of Bella the last time I had left her. She was so wounded, unable to cope, how could I do that to her again? Having this knowledge was the solitary motivation preventing me from changing my mind. Nevertheless, if it were best for her, if her health and safety were in danger, I couldn't be responsible for that. I refuse to leave under those circumstances.

Where would that leave me? With the one question I had since meeting her, was this wrong of me? From an ethical perspective yes, the answer was always, yes. However, from another perspective I appeared selfish. Selfish was my desire to remain with her for the rest of my existence. A selfish creature I was, and apparently a selfish creature I would continuously be.

Morning brought with it a sense of guilt, both on my part and hers. I felt guilty for everything I created in her world. Without my interference she would live a normal happy existence. Without my intrusion she would continue on to college, get married and have children. If I hadn't appeared in her world she would be safe and happy. The guilt was devastating, leaving me with that same question, was this wrong of me?

She was feeling guilty for not forgiving Jacob. I knew she would call him and let him off the hook… it was just a matter of time. That pleased me for two reasons, first being how upset she was not talking to Jacob, and second, which was far more important at the moment, we required all the help we could get. Requiring assistance from the wolves was loathsome, but with their help perhaps nothing would fall through the cracks.

"I'm going to let Jacob off the hook," she warned me, after she'd eaten breakfast.

"I knew you'd forgive him," I said with a smile. "Holding grudges is not one of your many talents."

She rolled her eyes, looking pleased. She picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Hello?"

"Jacob?"

"Bella!" he exclaimed. "Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry!" he stuttered his words hurrying to get them out. "I swear I didn't meant it. I was just being stupid. I was angry –but that's no excuse. It was the stupidest thing I've ever said in my life and I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me, please? Please. Lifetime of servitude up for grabs –all you have to do is forgive me."

"I'm not mad. You're forgiven."

"Thank you," he breathed. "I can't believe I was such a jerk."

"Don't worry about that –I'm used to it."

Their relationship was special, but still it was increasing difficult to listen this conversation. It was rude of me to listen as intently as I was, but I couldn't help myself. It was not as if I had a choice –to listen to their conversation –it was more like a necessity.

Jacob laughed with relief. "Come down to see me," he begged. "I want to make it up to you," I tensed over his last statement, I'm sure he wanted to make it up to her.

Bella frowned. "How?"

"Anything you want. Cliff diving," he suggested, laughing again.

Exactly why I had such a problem with her hanging out with him… cliff diving. Was he insane? She was not immortal the way we were, she could get hurt or worse. He was too young to understand that.

"Oh, there's a brilliant idea."

"I'll keep you safe," he promised. "No matter what you want to do."

She glared at me. I gave her no indication of my mood.

"Not right now."

"He's not thrilled with me, is he?" Jacob's voice was ashamed, rather than bitter.

"That's not the problem. There's… well, there's this other problem that's slightly more worrisome than a bratty teenage werewolf…" her attempt at joking was not working having an underlining of concern.

"What's wrong?" he demanded.

"Um," she said uncertain.

Knowing she was uncertain of how much to tell him, I felt the need to step in at this moment. Her loyalty was unwavering and I loved her for it. Holding out my hand for the phone. She looked at me carefully.

"Bella?" Jacob asked.

I sighed, holding my hand closer to her.

"Do you mind speaking to Edward?" she asked apprehensively. "He wants to talk to you."

There was a long pause.

"Okay," Jacob finally agreed. "This should be interesting."

Not caring what he thought, I would put my prejudices aside for the moment, to protect her. It was essential to explain to him what was going on. Bella handed me the phone with a warning in her eyes. There was no basis for a warning… there would be no argument with him today.

"Hello, Jacob," I said politely.

"What's up? Something must be terribly wrong if you're willing to talk to me?" he answered.

"Someone was here –not a scent I know," I explained. "Has your pack come across anything new?"

"No, not that I know of, but there's only so far we can go, what with you being back. We're limited to our own land," he answered.

"Here's the crux, Jacob, I won't be letting Bella out of my sight till I get this taken care of. It's nothing personal…"

"Quit lying, this is all personal. You know she would be safer here with me, we could protect her," he snapped.

"You might be right…"

"Look, at least let us come up there and get familiar with the scent. Give us something to work with. I'd also like to stretch out our boundary lines so we could protect more land near Forks. And, I'd like the freedom to come and go from Bella's house," Jacob suggested.

"That's an interesting suggestion. We're quite willing to renegotiate. If Sam is amenable."

"I'll convince him, don't worry about Sam."

"Thank you," I replied.

"Who's going with you to follow the trail? And what do you plan to do with Bella?" he asked catching me off guard. Jacob knew me better than I'd expected.

"I'd planned to go alone, actually," I said. "And leave her with the others."

"Would you consider leaving her with me when she is not with you? I want to make sure she's safe. Can you consider that, please?" he pleaded with me.

"I'll try to consider it objectively," I promised. "As objectively as I'm capable of."

"I'm coming there to see what I can come up with, maybe I can pick up on something you missed," he offered.

"That's not a half-bad idea. When?"

"Right now, if that's okay?"

"No, that's fine. I'd like a chance to follow the trail personally, anyway. Ten minutes," I asked.

"Yeah, I'll be there, she'll be safe. Go check out the trail," Jacob suggested.

"Certainly," I said. Holding the phone back out. "Bella."

She took it slowly, looking confused.

"What was that all about?" she asked Jacob, unhappy that we were making arrangements without her.

"A truce, I think. Hey, do me a favor," Jacob suggested. "Try to convince your bloodsucker that the safest place for you to be –especially when he leaves –is on the reservation. We're well able to handle anything."

"Is that what you were trying to sell him?"

"Yes. It makes sense. Charlie's probably better off here, too. As much as possible."

"Get Billy on it," she agreed. "What else?"

"Just rearranging some boundaries, so we can catch anyone who gets too near Forks. I'm not sure if Sam will go for it, but until he comes around, I'll keep an eye on things."

"What do you mean by 'keep an eye on things'?"

"I mean that if you see a wolf running around your house, don't shoot at it."

"Of course not. You really shouldn't do anything… risky, though."

"Don't be stupid. I can take care of myself."

Bella sighed.

"I also tried to convince him to let you visit. He's prejudiced, so don't let him give you any crap about safety. He knows as well as I do that you'd be safe here."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"See you in a few," Jacob said.

"You're coming up?"

"Yeah. I'm going to get the scent of your visitor so we can track him if he comes back."

"Jake, I really don't like the idea of you tracking…"

"Oh please, Bella," he interrupted, laughing he hung up.

All of this was very difficult for me to hear and process. Knowing that he was right, that when she wasn't with me she should be with him, he would protect her as well as I could. Although, I wasn't crazy with the idea of cliff diving and Jacob could tend to be a risk taker, I was assured he wouldn't allow anything to happen to her.

Being friends with him was impossible, however I would tolerate him in order to protect the area better. The more people watching, the more probable it would be to find whoever was here. Having to rely on him –my mortal enemy –was ghastly, however, I would hide whatever my feelings were, until this was over.

If the wolves were keeping an eye on the west, we could handle the east side of town. All bases appeared covered and if Jacob could convince Sam to extend their boundary lines, then we would have every neck of Forks and the surrounding area guarded.

Calculating in my mind who it was we were looking for, I referred to my list. My list remained the same leaving only two possibilities, Victoria or the Volturi. Reasons weren't important… no matter why someone was after her, the fact remained they were, and we needed to find out pretty fast who it was.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

9. SCENT

Bella couldn't understand, not that I expected her to. Comprehension was hard for humans as their instincts were to survive… ours were very distinctive. This wasn't as simple as Jacob and I loathing one another –our discontent ran much deeper than that –it was instinctual. Fighting it was complex, going against our natural instincts. It was difficult for Bella to hear and even tougher for her to grasp.

"It's not that I feel any personal antagonism toward him, Bella, it's just easier for both of us," I told her at the door. "I won't be far away. You'll be safe."

"I'm not worried about that."

Smiling, I was overcome by a foolish idea. Truly, it wouldn't hurt anyone as I reached for her pulling her close, burying my face in her hair. A couple of breaths later I pulled back.

"I'll be right back," I said laughing aloud at my childish act.

"What's so funny?"

Grinning, I ran off toward the trees, providing her privacy to visit with Jacob. Standing around watching would be wrong, and would only leave me feel like a heel. I seized the opportunity to pursue the trail left by our visitor this morning.

Emmett was correct in his assessment, the trail went East, then South, and disappeared on a side road, where there was a waiting car. The scent was still not familiar, but it was embedded now. Waiting in anticipation to find it again, I craved this scent very much. I needed to know, which forced this to the top of my priority list. I would have to leave in order to hunt it down. I wasn't capable of doing that –leaving her alone was unbearable –I would be forced to wait for an appropriate time.

With Jacob involved, my opportunity presented itself. Now that he was back, free time would be easier to obtain with her willingness to visit him. Time potentially utilized hunting down our visitor. At this moment, I was grateful to Jacob. He would provide protection for her again, when I was required to leave.

Searching the forest, I ran into Alice.

"What are you doing here?" Alice asked.

"Following the trail, it must be your turn… yes?" I asked.

"Yeah. I've been here for an hour."

She stared at me with a look full of knowledge. Her eyes were wry.

"Yes." I answered.

"Yes, what?" she responded.

"The answer to your question."

"I didn't ask a question," she said.

"He's there with her now. They're going to help us," I explained.

"Wow, Edward. What's with the sudden change of heart?" she asked.

"Anything to help her, Alice. I'll do anything, including using their help. The only thing that matters is her safety and I'll do everything in my power to provide that," I snapped.

"I think it's wonderful, Edward," she announced.

"You would. Where's everyone else?" I asked.

"Emmett and Jasper are out searching around town and the others are at home."

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle before I have to go back. Thanks for all your help. I'll talk to you later," I finished.

"See you later, Edward," Alice said.

"Bye."

Heading in the direction of our house, I needed to notify Carlisle of my conversation with Jacob. He would understand my decision to readjust the boundary lines. This would probably impress him, the arrangements I'd made with Jacob.

Arriving at the house, Esme was waiting for me.

"Edward, can we talk?" she asked.

"Sure, what's up?" I asked.

"I'm concerned about you. How are you holding up?" she asked.

"I'm fine. Stop worrying. I'm not the one you should be worried about," I answered.

"Well, I do… worry about you. I wish there was more I could do," she pleaded.

"Esme, you've always done enough, more than enough in fact, and I'm so grateful you came to us. Now stop all this concern, we'll be fine. I promise," I begged.

"All right, Edward," She leaned toward me squeezing me as tight as she could.

"Is Carlisle in his office?" I asked.

"Yes, he is."

"Thank you. I'll see you later."

Arriving at Carlisle's office door, I walked in unannounced. He was sitting behind his desk peering out the window. He appeared deep in thought.

"Carlisle?" I spoke.

Pulling him from his reverie. "What is it, Edward? Is everything all right?" he asked.

"For now, yes. I just wanted to inform you of a conversation I had with Jacob," I responded.

"You're not fighting with…"

"No, no, nothing like that. We were simply working out some new boundaries for the wolves. I'm sorry and I know I had no right to, but I told them they could stretch the line further out. This way they'll protect the West side and we'll protect the East," I explained.

"That's wonderful, Edward. I have no problem allowing the wolves more space, anything that can help with the situation is welcome," Carlisle said.

"Thank you, Carlisle. You'll let the others know, not to start with the wolves?" I asked.

"Yes, Edward, I will let them know," he answered concerned.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, you appeared to be far away when I entered. Is everything all right?" I asked.

"I was just thinking," he said.

"What about?"

"I was wondering if I did the right thing by you?" he admitted.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I wonder if making you what you are was the right decision. For years, I thought I did wrong. Esme and I wondered if you were too young, then when you finally found Bella, I hoped there was a chance. But now… now I wonder… if I wasn't just attempting to justify what I've done."

"Carlisle, I…"

"Edward, the fact that this has caused you so much pain, makes me believe I've done you wrong. If not for me… none of this would be happening. How could I forgive myself?" Carlisle pleaded.

"Carlisle, you're not to blame. Stop this… it's not your fault. It'll work out, I promise," I begged.

"Thank you, Edward," he said.

"Sure. I have to get back. Will you be okay?" I asked worried to leave him.

"Go, go ahead I'll be fine," he answered, staring out the window.

Lingering for a moment, I turned and went back down the stairs to the living room.

"Esme, you might… want to go and talk to Carlisle. He seems upset," I told her.

"I know –I'll talk to him, don't worry he'll be all right. See you later… and Edward…" she called out as I was at the door.

"Yes?" I turned around and asked.

"Be careful, please," she begged.

My family seemed overly concerned, which made me nervous. Worrying was not something my family had to do frequently, so when they did it was vital. Being able to protect our selves from anything, there was no cause for worry. Having Bella around put everyone on edge.

Carlisle had said yes to Bella, for this the exact reason. After admitting he was wrong when he changed me, how could he agree to change her? Although, it would make the situation easier if she were… no, no, no, I wouldn't think that way, I couldn't.

Returning to Bella's house my mind was swirling around the information I'd obtained following the recent occurrence. Wishing the answers were more defined. Confusion set in as I wondered what to do. How would I make this all right?

Arriving back at Bella's in time to see my foolish act taking effect.

"Ugh," he said, wrinkling his nose. "Your hair stinks worse than your room."

Making me smile, knowing it was childish, I'd live with it.

"Sorry," she muttered, I assumed she realized what I'd done.

"One of the many hazards of socializing with vampires," Jacob said. "It makes you smell bad. A minor hazard, comparatively."

Knowing what he was referring to, making my lips curl up over my teeth. He sure was digging the daggers in as deep as he could.

"I only smell bad to you, Jake," she snapped.

He grinned. "See you around, Bells."

"Are you leaving?"

"He's waiting for me to go. I can hear him outside."

That's quite a range for him, making me wonder how much farther it extended.

"Oh," she answered.

"I'll go out the back," he said, and then paused. "Hold up a sec –hey, do you think you can come to La Push tonight? We're having a bonfire party. Emily will be there, and you could meet Kim… And I know Quil wants to see you, too. He's pretty peeved that you found out before he did."

She grinned, thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Yeah, Jake, I don't know about that. See, it's a little tense right now…"

"C'mon, you think somebody's going to get past –all six of us?"

He paused at the end of his statement making wonder what he was hiding. It would be very difficult to hide things from me, leading me to believe it was important. Most likely involving the werewolf thing, so I wouldn't pry too much.

Bella, hesitated when answering, allowing me to think that her life was no longer hers. Not having the ability to decide anything without my permission. Wrong –would be the word I would use –to describe what I've done to Bella, amending the situation became a priority.

"I'll ask," she answered full of doubt.

Jacob grumbled a rather rude statement I couldn't repeat. "Is he your warden, now, too? You know, I saw this story on the news last week about controlling, abusive teenage relationships and…"

"Okay!" Bella cut him off shoving his arm. "Time for the werewolf to get out!"

He grinned. "Bye, Bells. Be sure you ask permission."

His attitude infuriated me, he was aware of the risk here. Using these methods to under mind our relationship was low, even for him. But he was right. She would be safe with him tonight, giving me the opportunity to do some investigating of my own.

Walking slowly into the kitchen, I attempted not to frighten her more than she already was. Immediately, I was overcome by a scent of blood mixed with bleach. Noticing the knife with blood on it, sitting on the counter. My imagination got the best of me, as I envisioned her stabbing him. Stunned, I stood staring at Bella.

"Did you two get into a fight?" I asked.

"Edward!" she sang out throwing herself into my arms.

"Hi, there," I laughed, wrapping my arms around her. "Are you trying to distract me? It's working."

"No, I didn't fight with Jacob. Much. Why?"

"I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object," With my chin, I gestured to the knife on the counter.

"Dang! I thought I got everything."

She pulled away from me and ran to put the knife in the sink, before dousing it with bleach. She worked hard making my life easier; I would have to return the jester.

"I didn't stab him," she explained as she worked. "He forgot he had a knife in his hand."

I chuckled. "That's not nearly as fun as the way I imagined it."

"Be nice," she warned me.

Taking out a big envelope from my jacket, tossing it on the counter. "I got your mail."

"Anything good?"

"I think so."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at my tone. She came to investigate.

I'd folded the legal-sized envelope in half. She smoothed it open, surprised at the weight of the expensive paper, and then read the return address.

"Dartmouth? Is this a joke?"

"I'm sure it's an acceptance. It looks exactly like mine."

"Good grief, Edward –what did you do?"

"I sent your application, that's all," I answered innocently.

"I may not be Dartmouth material, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that," she snapped.

She was right, but I wasn't about to tell her that. If I had any hope of her attending in the fall, the less she knew about how we got there, the better. My hope was that Charlie would get wind of this acceptance, and react as only a father would… excited. If that were to happen, she couldn't refuse going. Somehow, I would make certain Charlie found out.

"Dartmouth seems to think that you're Dartmouth material," I continued.

She took a deep breath and paused for a moment. "That's very generous of them," she finally said. "However, accepted or not, there is still the minor matter of tuition. I can't afford it, and I'm not letting you throw away enough money to buy yourself another sports car just so I can pretend to go to Dartmouth next year."

"I don't need another sports car. And you don't have to pretend anything," I murmured. "One year of college wouldn't kill you. Maybe you'd even like it. Just think about it, Bella. Imagine how excited Charlie and Renee would be…"

She thought about this for quite a while, which gave me hope. Pleading with her in the right manner, could persuade her to delay, for a mere year. Giving me one year was enough time to produce an alternative to ending her life –this I was certain of –time was all I needed.

She shook her head. "Edward, I'm worried about living through graduation, let alone this summer or next fall."

Wrapping my arms around her. "No one is going to hurt you. You have all the time in the world."

She sighed. "I'm mailing the contents of my bank account to Alaska tomorrow. It's all the alibi I need. It's far enough away that Charlie won't expect a visit until Christmas at the earliest. And I'm sure I'll think of some excuse by then. You know," she teased halfheartedly, "this whole secrecy and deception thing is kind of a pain."

She could mail every penny she had to Alaska. She would have to provide a better excuse to persuade me to relinquish Dartmouth. It would take some convincing on my part, but with Charlie's help, I was certain she would come around eventually.

"It gets easier. After a few decades, everyone you know is dead. Problem solved."

Bella flinched, and I'd realized what I said.

"Sorry, that was harsh."

She stared down at the big envelope. "But still true."

"If I get this resolved, whatever it is we're dealing with, will you please consider waiting?"

"Nope."

"Always so stubborn."

"Yep."

The washer machine began jumping and thumping, ending this conversation, for now. Charlie would be my best shot at getting her to reconsider and somehow I would make that happen. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to bring it up in front of him would be difficult. The last time I involved Charlie in one of my plans, she almost moved out of the house. This would take some contemplation on my part.

"Stupid piece of junk," she muttered as she pulled away from me. She moved the clothes in the washer and started it again.

"Could you ask Alice what she did with my stuff when she cleaned my room? I can't find it anywhere."

What was this? Some of her stuff is missing? "Alice cleaned your room?" I asked puzzled, that didn't sound like Alice.

"Yeah, I guess that's what she was doing. When she came to get my pajamas and pillow and stuff to hold me hostage," she glowered at me briefly, still angry. "She picked up everything that was lying around, my shirts, my socks, and I don't know where she put them."

Staring at her for a moment, confusion set in, as none of this was making sense. Alice was certainly helpful, but not this way, she wouldn't do laundry, she would simply buy you new clothes. And we had already done that, purchasing new pajamas and a pillow, why would Alice bring hers? Something was wrong here.

"When did you notice your things were missing?" I asked urgently.

"When I got back from the fake slumber party. Why?"

"I don't think Alice took anything. Not your clothes, or your pillow. The things that were taken, these were things you'd worn… and touched… and slept on?"

"Yes. What is it, Edward?"

Concern written on my face. "Things with your scent."

"Oh!"

Staring at her for a long moment, this new information concerned me. Providing absolute proof, they were for Bella. Now if I could just figure out why? Why now? More importantly, what do they want?

"My visitor?"

"He was gathering traces… evidence. To prove he'd found you?"

"Why?" she whispered.

The million dollar question… why?

"I don't know. But, Bella, I swear I will find out. I will."

"I know you will," she said leaning her head against my chest.

My phone began to vibrate… pulling it out I glanced at the number.

"Just the person I need to talk to," I murmured flipping open the phone. "Carlisle I…" Breaking off I listened intently. "I'll check it out. Listen…"

Explaining my latest findings quickly, Carlisle had no insights.

"Maybe I'll go…" I said trailing off, my eyes drifted to Bella. "Maybe not. Don't let Emmett go alone… you know how he gets. At least ask Alice to keep an eye on things. We'll figure this out later."

Snapping the phone shut. "Where's the paper?" I asked her.

Needing to see first hand what Carlisle was talking about.

"Um, I'm not sure. Why?"

"I need to see something. Did Charlie already throw it out?"

"Maybe…"

Disappearing out the back door to the recycle bin, I acquired the newspaper. Coming back in with the wet newspaper in hand, I spread it out on the table, my eyes quickly scanning the headlines. Leaning in as I found the story I was looking for, one finger tracing the passage that held my interest.

"Carlisle's right… yes… very sloppy. Young and crazed? Or a death wish?" I muttered to myself.

She peered over my shoulder to see what held my interest. The headline read: "Murder Epidemic Continues –Police Have No New Leads."

The stories were almost the same –as the stories from week's ago –only the numbers appeared to be climbing. The mayhem in Seattle was demanding our attention. Probably having nothing to do with us, it was certain to bring other problems in our direction.

"It's getting worse," she murmured.

I frowned. "Although out of control. This can't be the work of just one newborn vampire. What's going on? It's as if they've never heard of the Volturi. Which is possible, I guess. No one has explained the rules to them… so who is creating them, then?"

"The Volturi?" she repeated, shuddering.

"This is exactly the kind of thing they routinely wipe out –immortals who threaten to expose us. They just cleaned up a mess like this a few years ago in Atlanta, and it hadn't gotten nearly this bad. They will intervene soon, very soon, unless we can find some way to calm the situation. I'd really rather they didn't come to Seattle just now. As long as they're this close… they might decide to check on you."

Bella shuddered again. "What can we do?"

"We need to know more before we can decide that. Perhaps if we can talk to these young ones, explain the rules, it can be resolved peacefully," frowning I didn't think the chances were good. "We'll wait until Alice has an idea of what's going on… We don't want to step in until it's absolutely necessary. After all, it's not our responsibility. But it's good we have Jasper," I added to myself. "If were dealing with newborns, he'll be helpful."

"Jasper? Why?"

I smiled darkly. "Jasper is sort of an expert on young vampires."

"What do you mean, an expert?"

"You'll have to ask him –the story is involved."

Jasper's story was his to share –as I've said before –I wouldn't feel right about telling other people's stories. That was their prerogative if they felt it was necessary.

"What a mess," she mumbled.

"It does feel that way, doesn't it? Like it's coming at us from all sides these days," I sighed. "Do you ever think that your life might be easier if you weren't in love with me?"

Was this my payment for what I've done? Is this happening because of my selfishness? How would I make this right? With so many problems piling up, I was growing uncertain with my ability to make the situation right again.

"Maybe. It wouldn't be much of a life, though."

"For me," I amended quietly. "And now, I suppose," I continued with a wry smile, "you have something you want to ask me?"

I needed to change the subject, she shouldn't know all the details of what was happening. Being my problems, I felt inclined to deal with them, hopefully involving her as little as possible.

She stared at me blankly. "I do?"

Perhaps I was wrong, maybe, she didn't want to attend tonight. That appeared to be wrong… she looked glum when she told him she couldn't go.

"Or maybe not," I grinned. "I was rather under the impression that you'd promised to ask my permission to go to some kind of werewolf soiree tonight."

"Eavesdropping again?"

I grinned. "Just a bit, at the very end."

"Well, I wasn't going to ask you anyway. I figured you had enough to stress about."

Putting my hand under her chin, I held her face so that I could read her eyes. "Would you like to go?"

"It's no big thing. Don't worry about it."

Always an angel –down playing her desire to attend –for my sake. That's why I loved her so.

"You don't have to ask my permission, Bella. I'm not your father –thank heaven for that. Perhaps you should ask Charlie, though."

"But you know Charlie will say yes."

"I do have a bit more insight into his probable answer than most people would, it's true."

She stood staring at me attempting to figure out what I wished for her. It's true –at this given moment –having an ulterior motive for wanting her to attend the soiree at La Push tonight. I wanted her to feel free to do as she wishes also. She could remain friends with Jacob, that was no longer a problem, I wasn't joking when I explained that to her. I didn't want Bella to feel as though I was her warden –as he referred to it –she should do what makes her happy.

Needing her to be occupied tonight, the wolf soiree seemed the perfect solution, in my mind. My concern for her would reduce knowing she was safe with them, while I tended to my troubles. I wanted to go to Seattle with Emmett and Jasper, we had to assess the situation there, compare it to our circumstances here. Hopefully, we'll have the ability to settle this before anything else could occur.

"Bella," I said. "I told you that I was going to be reasonable and trust your judgment. I meant that. If you trust the werewolves, then I'm not going to worry about them."

"Wow," she said.

"And Jacob's right –about one thing, anyway –a pack of werewolves ought to be enough to protect even you for one evening."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Only…"

She braced herself for my suggestion. There were a few, but necessary things to arrange, in order to allow her to leave. Knowing her the way I did, she would agree.

"I hope you won't mind taking a few precautions? Allowing me to drive you to the boundary line, for one. And then taking a cell phone, so that I'll know when to pick you up?"

"That sounds… very reasonable."

"Excellent," smiling at her, I could definitely handle this plan.

Never failing, Charlie had no problem with Bella going to La Push for the evening. Bella called Jacob with the news, which he was elated. He seemed to embrace my safety measures, putting me at ease, as that meant he realized the danger she faced. He'd promised to meet us at the line between territories at six.

With the evening planned and everything in place, we were ready to leave. Bella indicated to me her wishes to return her motorcycle to it's home in La Push. Knowing she could ride it anytime was unnerving, but what could I say? So when she asked I only nodded. No, I was not happy with this decision for two reasons, one was that motorcycles tended to be dangerous for regular people and Bella was anything but regular. But, the second reason, and more important at the present moment, was that I had acquired one too, and I knew this would make her feel bad. Not wanting her to be unhappy, there was no way she wouldn't notice it in my garage.

She followed me to my house in her truck, back to the garage where she'd left her bike. Getting out of the car, I glanced at her pulling up in the truck. She jumped out of the truck immediately gazing at the motorcycle in the garage, that was not hers.

"What is that?"

"Nothing," I murmured, attempting to brush her off.

"It doesn't look like nothing."

Remaining casual. "Well, I didn't know if you were going to forgive your friend, or he you, and I wondered if you would still want to ride your bike anyway. It sounded like it was something that you enjoyed. I thought I could go with you, if you wished," I shrugged.

She stood staring at my bike, awe-struck.

"I wouldn't be able to keep up with you," She whispered.

Putting my hand under her chin, I pulled her face around so I could see it straight on. With one finger, I tried to push the corner of her mouth up.

"I'd keep pace with you, Bella."

"That wouldn't be fun for you."

"Of course it would, if we were together."

She bit her lip and thought for a moment. "Edward, if you thought I was going too fast or losing control of the bike or something, what would you do?"

Hesitating, I attempted to find the right answer. I smiled.

"This is something you do with Jacob. I see that now."

"It's just that, well, I don't slow him down so much, you know. I could try, I guess…"

She eyed the motorcycle doubtfully.

"Don't worry about it," I said laughing lightly. "I saw Jasper admiring it. Perhaps it's time he discovered a new way to travel. After all, Alice has her Porsche now."

"Edward, I…"

She was unhappy with me, I knew this would happen. I never should have purchased it. Needing to change the subject.

Interrupting her with a quick kiss. "I said not to worry. But would you do something for me?"

"Whatever you need," she promised quickly.

Dropping her face, I leaned over the far side of my motorcycle, retrieving something I had stashed there. Coming back up with a black jacket and a red helmet.

"Please?" I asked, flashing a smile to fight the resistance.

She took the helmet, weighting it in her hands. "I'll look stupid."

She could never look stupid, well unless she wiped out on that thing without this safety gear on. She would look worse then stupid if that were to happen.

"No, you'll look smart. Smart enough not to get yourself hurt," throwing the jacket over my arm, I took her face in my hands. "There are things between my hands right now that I can't live without. You could take care of them."

"Okay, fine. What's the other thing?" she asked suspiciously.

Laughing I shook out the padded jacket. "It's a riding jacket. I hear road rash is quite uncomfortable, not that I would know myself."

Holding it out for her, she sighed deeply, flipping her hair back, she stuffed the helmet on her head. She shoved her arms through the sleeves of the jacket. I zipped her in, a smile spreading across my face, I stepped back.

"Be honest, how hideous do I look?"

Taking another step back, I pursed my lips. Wow, was the only word that came to mind. She looked great in anything she wore. Yes, some things were better then others, but this looked good.

"That bad, huh?" she muttered.

"No, no, Bella. Actually…" struggling for the right word. "You look… sexy."

She laughed out loudly. "Right."

"Very sexy, really."

"You're just saying that so that I'll wear it," she said. "But that's okay. You're right, it's smarter."

Wrapping my arms around her I pulled her against my chest. "You're silly. I suppose that's part of your charm. Though, I'll admit it, this helmet does have its drawbacks."

I pulled the helmet off so I was able to kiss her.

As I drove her toward La Push, a little while later, the sense of indecision overwhelmed me. Was this right? Letting her go off with my mortal enemy, it felt very wrong. Driving toward the very land I was banished from was excruciating. Knowing I was required to leave her here, it suddenly occurred to me I had no way of being certain she was safe. Turning the car around and speeding away felt like the right choice to me.

No, no, no… I couldn't do that. Putting my prejudices aside, I had to trust her. If anything were to happen, she would call me, that's what I provided the cell phone for. Trusting her was all I needed to endure this evening… and I did trust her. Putting that at the front of my brain would make this night pass by quickly.

Bella pulled me from my thoughts.

"You know what this reminds me of?" she asked. "It's just like when I was a kid and Renee would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old."

I laughed.

About halfway to La Push I rounded the corner and found Jacob leaning against the side of his car. He smiled when he saw Bella.

Parking my car thirty yards away. Keeping my distance was for his benefit. Having much more experience with control, he didn't bother me, except for that dreadful smell. For now, I would give him the space he required.

"Call me whenever you're ready to come home," I said. "And I'll be here."

"I won't be out late," she promised.

Pulling her bike and the new gear out of the trunk of my car. She tucked the helmet under her arm and threw the jacket across the seat.

"Do you have it all?" I asked.

"No problem," she assured me.

Sighing I leaned toward her. She turned to face me as I suddenly threw my arms around her tightly, kissing her vigorously, until she was gasping for air. Not being able to help myself, I'd thought I'd lived through the worst moments of my existence, but none of them seemed as difficult as this moment was.

Jacob's thoughts were shouting in my head. He felt the need to inform me that he would be fighting for her, warning me that he didn't intend to fight fair. His thoughts were amusing making me laugh quietly, as I let Bella go.

"Goodbye," I said. "I really do like the jacket."

Standing there, I watched her push the bike toward Jacob, who didn't move a muscle until Bella had passed over the treaty boundary.

"What's all that?" Jacob called to her.

"I thought I should put this back where it belongs," she told him.

Jumping into my car I continued to watch for a moment. Not sure if I was punishing myself, lingering to watch, or if I was being childish, knowing exactly what he was thinking and knowing Bella would never fall for it. But, I insisted on sticking around to watch anyway.

The moment she crossed the line, he shoved away from his car, and went to her. He took the bike from her, balanced it on the kickstand, and grabbed her up into a hug. His thoughts came shooting for me.

_I'll do anything to save her from you, and I told you I don't fight fair,_ he announced as he hugged her tight, staring straight at me. This wolf was pushing his luck.

Growling the engine to life, I took off rounding the corner. If I witnessed anymore of this… it would not end well. Leaving would best at this moment, I wouldn't want to kill Bella's best friend in front of her. Besides, the better man would win, and since I was a man and he was a dog, the winner was obvious.

Driving away went against every instinct I had. It was tougher than I had anticipated it would be. Perhaps, it would have been a better idea to have Alice drop her off. Then again, if I had done that, she probably would have refused to go, finding an excuse to remain at home. That was something I could no longer tolerate, for her to miss out on life because of who I was. Needing to change that part of her life, I would do everything in my power to be certain her life was restored to normal as possible. If that meant being a little uncomfortable, then so be it. What was my comfort compared to her happiness? Comparing the two was impossible… everything was supposed to be for her happiness. If she were not happy, if I somehow kept her from what she really wanted, then all of my efforts here would be for nothing. I couldn't exist if that's what was going on. If she valued my happiness over hers, then we were domed.

Returning her to a somewhat normal life –as normal as it could be –was at the top of my list. That would mean she would need to have other friends, and other things to do, besides being with me all the time. That would work both ways, of course. If she had to do other things, then so would I. It would be easier to convince her, if I were suddenly busy with other things, too.

That would please Jasper and Emmett, as they were missing the things we used to do. The harassment I've taken over missing ball games and hunting would finally come to an end. Could I really do that? Leave her more often, yes, the answer was always, yes. If that's what she desired, then I would. But for now, I could only leave her with Jacob. I would not tolerate having her other friends in danger along side of her. So until, I figured out who was behind all of this, she would have to settle for being with Jacob. That did nothing for my sanity, but as long as she was happy, I would not harm him.

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing._**


	10. Chapter 10

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

10. ANALYZING

Now that Bella was tucked away, safe and sound for the evening, there were a few things to tend to at the house. Speeding down the highway, I was growing anxious over the information we had thus far. It wasn't enough. We needed more knowledge about what was happening. If I couldn't figure who it was, how would I ever hope to stop them?

And what about the situation in Seattle? What was really happening there? Could this have something to do with our circumstance? I couldn't see how. Also escaping me was why the Volturi hadn't arrived yet, to clean this mess up. From past experience, their involvement should have be much quicker, so what was the delay this time? Their reluctance to be here reinforced my belief that they were somehow involved.

If all that were true, and it was the Volturi, then why would they take Bella's belongings? They already had her scent so that ruled out that purpose. To prove she remained human? That was a possibility, but unlikely, their word would be enough. No one could lie to Aro. Perhaps, I'm right that someone else was commanding whoever this was. As unlikely as that seemed, it was the most logical explanation I could come up with.

Needing more answers, I hurried home. Pulling up to the front of the house, I parked the car and hurried through the front door. Everyone was gathered in the dining room seated around the table. Faces were lost in thought and not very hopeful. Reading their thoughts wasn't giving me much hope either.

"Well, what's everyone come up with?" intending my question for Alice as I stared right at her, but wanting to involve everyone in the discussion.

"Nothing, Edward. We haven't come up with anything new… yet," Carlisle explained.

"Really… Alice… you've seen anything new?" I asked my voice strained.

"Nothing, Edward. I'm trying… there's just nothing to see. Well, as you know I can't see her right now, but the last time I saw her, the future looked well. I don't know what to say," Alice said hanging her head.

"Well, what do we do know?" I asked turning my head to Carlisle.

"I'm not sure," he replied.

"Should we go to Seattle? Perhaps we can find out what's going on there. Maybe it has something to do with this," I asked.

"I'm in," Emmett jumped forward.

"Now hold on a second. I'm not sure that's the best idea," Carlisle's voice rang out through the room.

"No. You mustn't do that, Edward. You have no idea what you would be walking in on. It's too dangerous," Esme pleaded with me.

"Esme, I of all people will know what's happening, the minute I step into Seattle. You know that," I explained.

"Yes, Edward. It's true you can hear them, but this is very dangerous, we have no idea who has made these… creatures. And we have no idea why. I'm afraid until we do, we can't go," Carlisle pleaded with me also.

"Carlisle's right, Edward. For us to interfere at this time would not look good. Do you really want to risk running into the Volturi? There bound to come soon," Jasper added.

"No. But what do we do now?" I asked.

"We wait. The Volturi will clean up whatever is happening in Seattle. As for our little problem, we continue to watch. We're on full alert, and with the wolves help, no one is getter near her. Sooner or later, whoever this is will come back, and we'll be ready. It's all about preparation at this point, Edward. We have to be prepared and we will be. I promise. The next time this person shows up, we'll be ready for them," Carlisle rationalized.

"Sit and wait. That's what you're asking of me?" I questioned.

"Yes, Edward. I'm asking you to be patient once more," Carlisle said.

"Well, I don't know if I can do that. Haven't I done that a little too much lately?" I asked.

"Yes, son, but if you don't, you risk doing more harm," Carlisle offered.

"Sit and wait. Fine, I won't promise anything, but I'll try," I said standing up from the table.

"Edward, it's your safety we're worried about. Please… please don't do anything irrational," Esme begged me.

"Irrational, I won't. But to sit here and wait for someone to come for her, I'm not certain I can do that," I said as I left the table headed for the front door.

Behind me followed a set of footsteps. Great I was being babysat. Sending Emmett to watch and make certain I wouldn't do anything –as Esme would say irrational –was beneath Carlisle, but he did it anyway. He nodded toward Emmett, then to me as I was leaving. Even worse than being called irrational, I was being treated as a child now. Too upset, I headed for the garage without a word.

Slipping into my Astro Martin, Emmett jumped in the passenger side.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Road trip… cool, I'm in," Emmett said with a smile.

"Get out, I don't need a babysitter," I snapped at him.

"I'm not your babysitter, consider me more… a friend," he said laughing. "A friend keeping you from making a huge mistake."

"Emmett, please. I want to be alone," I begged him.

"Edward, you can beg all you want, but I'm not budging."

"Fine. It's your death wish."

Spinning out of the garage, I sped away from the house. Driving down the highway at top speed was exhilarating and something that had escaped me for quite a while. Wondering why that was, for this car was once my favorite thing, I suppose it's been replaced by my latest favorite thing… Bella. Viewing what I'd done to her life, I could now see what I've done to my own. Was any of this right? Uncertainty flooded me and I knew at this moment, it didn't matter. What mattered most was restoring our worlds and getting life back to normal –as normal as my existence could be.

Halfway to my destination, my unwanted passenger suddenly pulled me from my thoughts.

"Um… Edward. Where are we going?" Emmett asked puzzled.

"You don't want to know," I replied.

"Edward! Where are we going?" Emmett demanded.

"Seattle."

"Are you insane? Have you totally lost it? TURN AROUND NOW," He yelled.

I'd never heard Emmett this way before it took me by surprise. Slowing the car down, I didn't know what to make of him. I had never seen him refuse a challenge before and it was quite disturbing. His reaction made me slow the car even more.

"Emmett, I'm just going to have a peek. No interference, I just want to see…"

Emmett interrupted me. "No, Edward. This is not a good idea. We know nothing, we can't."

Not certain who he was trying to convince, himself or me. His thoughts were running around his head like a crazy man.

_Carlisle will be upset with me. Esme will kill me. And Rosalie… I don't even want to think about what she would…_

Pulling over to the shoulder, off the highway, I stopped the car.

"Emmett, no one will know," I offered.

"Are you kidding me?" he snapped.

Just then, my phone rang out. Emmett and I glared at each other.

"See… now look what you've done," he said.

Looking at the phone, it was whom I expected… Alice. Opening the phone, I placed it to my ear, pulling it back immediately.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Alice screamed into the phone.

"Alice, calm down."

"I WON'T CALM DOWN, TURN AROUND NOW, EDWARD. I MEAN IT… NOW. OR I'LL GO STRAIGHT TO CARLISLE," she continued to yell at me.

"Geez… it's not that urgent. The car is stopped, settle down," I begged.

"I most certainly won't settle down. Come home now," she demanded.

"Alice, it's alright, I've changed my mind, but I'm not coming home. See for yourself," I offered.

"Put Emmett on the phone," she demanded.

Holding out the phone to Emmett. "She wants to talk to you," offering him the phone.

He held up both hands to push the phone away. I pushed it back towards him. Not wanting to talk to her again either. He finally took it.

"Alice," Emmett said calmly, then, he removed the phone from his ear as the shouting began again.

"YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HIM. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN HE DECIDED TO GO TO…" she screamed.

"I was working…" he began, but she cut him off again, sounding a bit calmer.

"Work harder, Emmett. We have enough to deal with, now take care of this. And, if you two go anywhere near…"

"We won't. I promise. See you when we get home," he said.

"I mean it Emmett, I'll know and I'll tell Rose. Do you want her to follow you…" she challenged. She meant business.

"Fine. It's under control, don't worry," Emmett offered.

Shutting the phone, he glared at me.

"You see… there's no way we can go to Seattle, Edward," He pleaded.

"I know, she's so annoying sometimes," I complained.

"I know, but she's right. It's not safe to go there right now," Emmett said.

"Fine. So what do you want to do?" I asked.

"We could head over to…"

"No, I'm not spying on her. I trust her," I snapped.

"Fine. How about a little hunting?" he asked.

"Well, I'm up for sweeping the forest, perhaps we could find something," I offered.

Turning the car around I headed back to Forks, against my better judgment. But, at this time, there was nothing I could do. They were hell bent on stopping me from going to Seattle, but that didn't mean I would surrender. I would find a way to get there eventually.

Coming to the end of highway, I parked the car in the same spot Bella had parked her truck when I brought her here the first time. This was the way to my meadow. Figuring if I took Emmett through the forest, we would end up at the meadow. Coincidence… he would buy that.

Moving fairly quickly, we found a few things to snack on. Emmett was growing bored with the vegetation around here. It was no fun for him to hunt the smaller game. Knowing how he felt, it held no importance to me as it once had. Hunting use to bring a lot of excitement to me, but since meeting Bella, that had changed. Hunting moved down on my list of priorities. As she had once told me –desiring me more than oxygen, which was essential to her survival –I too, felt my desire for her overpowered my need for blood, which was essential to my survival.

Several paces ahead of me, Emmett caught my attention… loudly.

"EDWARD, IS THERE NOTHING WE CAN DO THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE HER?" he yelled.

Seeing he found the meadow, he exploded. A coincidence, he would not believe.

"Emmett if I have to be out here, I'd rather be here than anywhere," I answered calmly.

"This is sick… you're sick. You need help… this is not healthy," he jabbered on.

"WHAT?" I yelled. "Who are you kidding, I was there you know," I answered.

"You were there when?" he asked.

"I was there when Rosalie brought you home. I was there when Carlisle changed you. And, I was also there for the next ten years, afterwards. Believe me when I tell you it was no picnic," I scowled back.

"What?" he asked.

"Emmett you were worse than me. You two were… well, let's just say you couldn't keep your hands to yourselves. If you don't think that was worse than this. Your wrong," I explained.

"Speaking of hands to yourself…" he uttered.

"Stop right there… I'm not discussing this with you," I murmured.

"C'mon Edward, give me some details," he begged.

"There's no details to give," I quickly responded.

"I know that hasn't happened yet…" he blurted out.

"Not while she's human… never," I answered.

"Then according to you it'll never happen," he muttered.

"I suppose."

"Doesn't that bother you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Well, knowing that you'll never… I mean… you must want to?" he asked lightly. "I know I would… want to."

"Really, there's a shock… I don't know. Yes, of course I want to, after all I am a man. But the risk… the risk is too great… and I would never," I explained.

"But isn't the urge… huge. Isn't it hard to control?" he questioned.

"Yes. And she doesn't help the situation, always tempting me, she wants to but… I can't see a way that wouldn't kill her. Do you?" slipping in this question, Emmett would know better than I. He had more experience with this subject, first hand experience.

"That's a tough one. I can understand your thoughts on it, and your right, control isn't an easy thing when it comes to that. But you have more control than any of us, probably more than Carlisle, so you never know. Maybe it is possible. What do I know, I've never been known for my control," he said solemnly. "But let me tell you this, when it does happen, it will be unexplainable. That I promise you," he said with a laugh.

"Thanks, Emmett. But that doesn't help either."

"I know, I'm kidding. I guess what you should really know is that when and if it does happen, I'm certain it will turn out okay. Whether you wait until she's one of us or not, I'm sure she'll be fine. The way you feel about her… you couldn't hurt her."

"Thanks, Emmett. I miss talking this way. In fact I miss you," I muttered.

"Well, you've been a little busy the past year. I understand, but your time is running out, you know," he added in.

"Times running out for what?" I asked puzzled.

"The time you're allotted for your first love. You're allowed to neglect your family and friends for awhile at first, but you're times running out," he said laughing.

"Whatever, Emmett. You're hilarious," I answered.

Getting back to what our agenda was in the first place, Emmett rose and began hunting again. Sitting quietly with my thoughts I reflected on what Emmett had said to me. He was right, perhaps this issue needed more of my attention. I had never seriously considered it prior to this because I always assumed it was impossible. Maybe it wasn't, perhaps with extreme control we could minimize any damage… what was I saying? Damage, harm, injury or worse, there was no way to know for certain, and I would never purposely put her in that kind of danger. And for what? My own needs, my own satisfaction, how selfish could I really be?

Damn Emmett for persuading me to have these thoughts. Okay, they didn't all come from Emmett, and I had thought them before, but I had never really considered it and I wouldn't now. She remained too soft and fragile for such actions and they would never happen while she remained human. That was one thing I knew for certain.

How did my thoughts go from protecting her to literally putting her in danger? Requesting my brain to return to the issue at hand. Her safety remained the only issue. How would I protect her from dangers that were unknown to me? The only way I knew how was to remain with her at all times, which I had already failed at, allowing her to go off with him. Technically, it was for my benefit, assuming I would be in Seattle tonight, but I also wanted her to return to a normal existence. Being able to do what she wanted to. Not feeling as though she had to ask my permission to do stuff. These decisions could no longer be up to me, she should be able to come and go as she pleased.

"Edward, stop thinking already," Emmett yelled.

"Are you finished?" I asked.

"Sure, where to now?" he asked.

"I figure we can go have a run around Bella's neighborhood. See what we can see. Make sure everything else is okay. I need to keep an eye on Charlie," I answered.

"Sounds good, let's go." Emmett agreed.

"What about the car?" I said as we were heading out of the forest.

"Leave it here we'll pick it up later," Emmett said.

We took off running in the direction of Bella's house. It felt good, being able to do something other than wait. Protecting Charlie would be what she would want and I was here to make her happy. Coming to a stop in the forest outside of her house, feelings of uncertainty came flooding back as I peer up at her bedroom window.

Remembering the first time I had looked up at that window was a fond memory. The uncertain feeling I had then was similar to the one I was having now. Back then I wondered if I should be here at all, and today I had the same thought, not much had changed at all. The only thing that did change was the love I had for her and it seemed the love she had for me had changed a bit, too. Unable to think my love could be stronger, it was, but at that time, I didn't know it was love. Truly believing I desired to kill her. Now, that just seemed amusing, there was no way I could hurt her… intentionally.

Staring at her window the question loomed in my mind. Was this wrong? Our relationship… my involvement in her life… the past year and a half. Was this all wrong? Was Jacob right, if I had not returned, would she have ended up with him, and would that be better for her? Trading one creature for another didn't appear to be the best answer, but with him she would remain human, I couldn't argue with that. So many questions with no definite answers.

Standing here, staring at her house, brought memories flooding of my first mistake. Coming here, to watch her sleep, instead of running out of town, was where I went wrong. Never returning from Denali, would've been the wisest decision, and if I had to do it all again I would've…

Apparently, it didn't matter what I would've done at this point. At this time, the only thing that mattered was what I did, and dealing with the consequences of those actions. Bringing me back to the reason, I was here in the first place. To make certain Charlie was safe and sound. And from what I'd seen, he was settled on the couch for the evening, and perfectly healthy.

Turning I went to find Emmett, who was wandering on the other side of the forest. Coming closer to him, I was eager to leave.

"Emmett, were finished here. Let's get my car and head back to the house," I said.

"Sure thing, Edward," he replied.

We ran back heading for my car. Arriving, we jumped in, and I roared the engine to life. Spinning around I heading for the highway. Speeding toward the house, it was a quiet ride home. When I pulled up the driveway to the house, Emmett finally spoke.

"Edward, you're not thinking about doing anything crazy again? Are you?" he questioned me.

"No –like what?" I asked.

"Like leaving again…" he asked quietly.

"No, Emmett. It's way too late for that. I couldn't leave now, even if I wanted to. I'm in this forever, this time," I answered.

A smile spread across his face.

"That's good, because I'm enjoying this whole thing. It's been quite exciting around here," he continued to smile.

"For you, yeah. Not as exciting for me, though," I frowned. "It's been excruciating for me."

"I know, but it'll get better," he said.

Pulling into the garage, we got out and headed for the house. Waiting on the porch was Alice. Who didn't appear very happy.

"You two have some explaining to do!" she scowled at us.

"Alice, give it up, we didn't go anywhere," Emmett snapped back.

"You just about gave me a heartache, which isn't an easy thing to do," she snapped.

"I'm sorry, Alice. It won't happen again. I promise," I said softly.

"You're right it won't happen again, because next time I'll go straight to Carlisle and Rosalie, and you can deal with them," she scoffed.

I'd never seen Alice this upset before. This couldn't just be about us attempting to go to Seattle. There had to be something else at play here. Emmett walked past her and went into the house.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"Nothing," she said blankly.

Reading her mind, I couldn't figure it out.

"Tell me what's happening Alice. You know I'm going to find out anyway," I snapped at her.

"Edward, there's nothing going on. That's the problem," she replied.

"What's the problem?" I asked confused.

"The fact that I can't seemed to figure anything out. I have nothing. There's nothing going on, and yet I know there is. It's very discouraging to be so useless," she answered quietly.

"Alice, you've never been useless," I said.

"I feel it now. Why can't I see anything? Why can't I tell you who was at Bella's house? I feel so… so… normal," she said lowering her head between her hands.

"You are far from normal. And when there is something to see, you'll see it. I know I expect too much from you, and I know I can be demanding. And I'm sorry about that, but don't think you've let me down, because you haven't. I need you more than I ever did, and I'm counting on you to help me figure this out. Okay?" I asked.

"Okay."

"Now, let's head inside and figure this out," I offered.

With that we were on our feet heading through the front door.

Everyone was gathered in the living room. Carlisle rose when we entered.

"Well, everything all right?" he asked.

"Yes. Any thoughts on the latest situation?" I asked.

"Nothing new. Perhaps, if we went over everything again, maybe that would help," Carlisle suggested.

"Okay, then. Where do we start?" I asked.

"Let's start from the beginning," he offered. "What do we know for certain?"

"We know that someone was in Bella's house and took her stuff early in the morning when she was here…"

Carlisle interrupted me. "That's correct, Bella was here, not home," he thought to himself for a moment.

"Where are you going with this?" I asked as he walked to the window to stare out.

"Well, I just thought, that's quite a coincidence, don't you think?" he paused. "That whoever it was would pick a night that Bella won't come home. How often does that happen? How often are you and Bella not there?" he asked, smiling.

"Never… it's never happened before… except when we went to Florida," I answered.

"Exactly. Coincidence or did they know you two wouldn't be there?" Carlisle asked mostly to himself. "That would be quite a coincidence."

"Your right, but who would know we wouldn't be there?"

"The question isn't who knew, Edward," Carlisle added.

Thinking about this last statement, I was confused, but Esme wasn't.

"The question is how long have they been watching?" Esme said quickly as she gasped.

"Exactly. The question is how long someone has been watching us. Moreover, if that were true, then "he stopped to think again

"What Carlisle? What are you thinking?" Jasper intervened.

"How long before they'll be back?" he left the question hanging there as no one said a word. He was correct, that was exactly it.

"So let me get this straight. If someone didn't have the best luck in the world picking a night that Bella would be out all night, then we'd have assume they've been watching… well, at least her. And, if they knew about her, they knew about us. If that someone where watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to enter Bella's house to take her stuff, then that same someone would be back. Otherwise, this all would have been for nothing and we've already ruled out coincidence. But what was the motive?" I asked.

"Well, that parts a little bit fuzzy," Carlisle said.

"How do you mean?" I asked anxiously.

"At first I thought you and Alice were right. At first, I thought it was Volturi, but honestly Edward, this isn't their style, they don't work this way. If they wanted Bella dead,… she'd be dead. So, that leaves our friend Victoria, and yes, it could very well be her. I guess my point is, until we have more information, until we know who it is and what they want, then we're at a stand still. There's nothing we can do, except watch and wait. Now, I know this bothers you, Edward. To wait for something else to happen, with Bella at such risk, but now that we know what to watch for, it'll be easier," Carlisle finished.

"All right, Carlisle. I'll wait, but we can't let our guard down, not for one moment. We have to remain on top of everything," I said glancing at Alice. "We can't afford to miss anything," I begged her.

"I won't, Edward. I'll see anyone coming this time. I promise," she trailed off. "Unless, of course, they come through the wolves. There's nothing I can do about that," she added with a frown on her face.

"The wolves will take care of their part of town. Don't worry about them. This is what they were created for… tracking. They have the nose for it, probably better than us," I said.

"All right then, everyone knows what's expected of them. So let's not let anyone get through without our knowledge. There are a town full of people besides Bella and her father to be concern for. There are a lot of lives at stake here, and I sure don't want to be responsible for anything happening to anyone of them. Okay?" Carlisle asked.

Everyone nodded in agreement. The room cleared out as everyone went on to resume what they were doing before I entered the house. Remaining on the couch I tossed around the many things that were spoken. Until Carlisle had mentioned them, the people of the town hadn't even crossed my mind. To know that our visitor probably didn't share our hunting style was disturbing. This town could be similar to a buffet at a restaurant, anything you wanted, anytime. Having the knowledge that by being who we were, could hurt so many innocent people, didn't sit well with me. But I've done everything in my power to make certain that no harm came to anyone in this tiny, cloudy, town, that I now called home.

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing._**


	11. Chapter 11

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

11. RETRIEVING

Thinking about all the lives at stake, along with what could possibly go wrong, was driving me mad. Not being able to shake these thoughts, I tempted my brain in another direction. Switching thoughts to what Bella was doing right now. She was probably sitting next to Jacob, and knowing him as I did, he probably had his arm around her. Most likely sitting on the beach –a place I was banned from –around a bonfire discussing past times together. The time when I was away… the time I deserted her. He was probably reminder her of that time every chance he got.

Okay, so, these weren't the best thoughts to distract me from my madness, and this was doing nothing for my sanity. However, what else was I to think of? I longed, at this moment, that I had taking up that new hobby –the one with the slug hammer –at least then I would have the ability to hit something. Since I didn't, I would have to once again rely on the piano. Rising from the couch, I made my way to it, taking a seat on the bench.

Sweeping my fingers across the keys, music drifted fluidly from the wooden box. Grateful I had something to calm my nerves I didn't want to pick her up in this condition. I couldn't be certain what I might do when I saw him. Soft music poured out from my fingertips initiating Esme to join me. She never missed a moment when I played; it pleased her to hear me. Patting my leg with encouragement to continue, I obliged. These were the moments I knew for certain, she was truly proud of me, it showed on her face.

Continuing to play, I played all of Esme's favorites. Her song, Bella's lullaby, and a few others she admired. She sat quietly, peering at me from the corner of her eye. The way she was staring at me was oddly familiar, but I couldn't place what it reminded me of. Suddenly it struck me, and although the memories had faded with time, they were still there. Moments like these that reminded me of my human life. Being exactly how my mother would stare at me when I was doing something that pleased her.

To feel the intense pride of a parent was second to none, but I felt as though I hadn't earned Esme's pride. With everything I had done, she should not be looking at me this way. Wanting so much to earn her pride and respect, I knew at this time I hadn't, which left me feeling uncomfortable. My fingers stopped moving across the keys and I turned to Esme.

"Oh, Edward. Please keep playing," she softly cooed.

"Esme, what's wrong?" I asked.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking," she answered.

"About what?"

"Well, I was just thinking if my son… had lived, how different my life would be," she explained.

"I suppose it would."

"As hard as that time was for me, I'm not sure I would've wanted to miss all of this," she said.

"What do you mean? If you had the choice, what would it have been?" I asked.

"I don't know. I know I always wanted to be a mother and when my son passed away… it broke my heart. To continue on, seemed impossible, that's why I made the choice I did. Then, when Carlisle gave me a second chance at life –that's how I see this life –I wanted it more than anything. As you know it was hard in the beginning, adjusting to what we are, but now, when I see all of you, especially you. I wonder what my son would have been like. If he turned out half as good as you, Edward, I would be proud. Sometimes I wonder…" she suddenly trailed off.

"What? What do you wonder?" I asked curiously.

"I wonder if… my son… brought me to you," she smiled.

"What do you mean?" I asked stunned by this revelation.

"Well, if he saw you out there and somehow brought us together," she said quickly.

Pondering this for a moment, I didn't understand. No words that came to mind… wanting to say something… I had nothing. I had no words and certainly no thoughts.

"For me to believe that it was a coincidence that Carlisle was there when they found me, is to much to grasp. For me, there appeared to be a higher power at play. Something or someone brought me to the two of you. This many years later I have to believe it was my son. He knew I needed a son and you needed a mother," she said.

"Esme, thank you. However, I don't deserve your admiration. Moreover, I have to think if your son picked someone for you to be with, Carlisle was the one. That wasn't a coincidence, I've never seen two people more meant for one another," I answered.

"Edward, you haven't seen yourself with Bella, then," she squeezed my hand.

Getting up from the piano, she kissed the top of my head and walked away. I sat thinking about what she had said. How could she think Bella and I were perfectly matched when we were so completely opposite? She was right about one thing thought, I did need a mother, and she fulfilled that perfectly all these years. I'm not foolish enough not to know that she played a big role in helping me become the person I am, the person I am proud of –in most circumstances.

It had been many years since she had spoken about her son and her human life. Knowing how painful it was, I attempted not to pry too much. The pain it caused her when speaking of that time was excruciating. To see in her mind, to know how she felt when she looked at me, was something I had never seen before. Seeing it today, for the first time, was humbling. Her thoughts beamed with such pride when she looked at me. I felt undeserving of her kindness, for I had always been selfish. I spent most of my existence worry about myself, taking the family I have for granted.

Everything in my existence was about to change. Seeing what I had become and seeing what I had done to others, I knew the mistakes I have made. It was time to rectify them. It was time to bring order back to my existence, and time to make amends to the people who seemed to value me more than I'm worth. I wanted to be worthy of Esme's regards and Bella's love. I wished to know that when things were said of me, that they were correct, backed up by things I've done. So far, this was not correct; nothing I've done should gain that kind of admiration from anyone.

I would start with the people I call my family, and after everything they've done for me they deserved that title. I on the other hand, still haven't earned it yet. They were people who would drop everything, go anywhere, and do whatever if I asked them to. I had always done that too, but up until now, I had nothing to lose. I had never had any preference to where we existed or whom we existed with, until now. Now, I was unsure if I would leave if they requested it. If we had to leave tomorrow, I wasn't certain I could go.

What would I do with this new information? How selfish could I get? I had done nothing, but put the people I supposedly love, in danger. Was there no limit to what I would do? Somehow, this behavior had to come to an end. Continuing this way would only end in disastrous consequences for everyone. How would I amend this?

The conversation with Esme had opened the flood gates to things I didn't want to face, things I never intended to think about. The very thought of these things told me exactly who I had become and this was someone I couldn't admire. It became very clear that drastic changes in my life were required, beginning with Bella and how I've handle our relationship, thus far.

Jacob was right about one thing I had become Bella's jailer. My tendency to overreact in situations had led me to become a tyrant. That was about to change. No longer would I decide what was best for her, she would have to decide for herself. I had always said it was her choice and now it was time to stand by that statement. It was time for her to make her own choices.

Then there was Alice, who did nothing but help others. Her existence consisted of doing things for other people. She was the most selfless person I had ever known. She had dropped everything, risked her very life, to come to Italy and rescue me. Even though, I thought this behavior was ludicrous, I loved her for it. Everything I had asked of her, she did without question, and what do I do for her… buy her a Porsche that she could purchase herself. There had to be something else I could do for her and I knew the one thing she truly desired… she wanted a new sister. The very thought of that sent chills down my already cold spine, I wasn't quite that person, yet.

"Edward?" Alice sang out, pulling me from my thoughts.

"What is it, Alice?" I spun around on the piano bench and stared at her.

"Come for a walk with me!" she said suspiciously.

Her thoughts were twisting and turning leaving nothing I could get from them. Getting up I walked to the front door with her following. Holding the door open, she walked through it. We went down the stairs, along the path to the forest. I was growing more anxious the further we walked without words. Suddenly she stopped, turning to face me she grabbed my shoulders, as if to shake them.

"Edward, I don't even know where to begin!" she said.

"Just tell me, Alice. What's wrong?" I said panicking by this point.

"Nothing's wrong, Edward. It's just that I…" Alice said quietly.

"Just say it, Alice. You're trying my patience," I said quickly.

"I over heard what Esme was saying to you, I'm sorry about that, I wasn't listening intentionally," she began.

"It's okay. So you heard what she was saying about her son?" I asked.

"Yes, and I wanted to…" she hesitated.

"What, Alice?" I asked concerned. "I was a little worried about her too," I added.

"Not her, Edward. I'm worried about you!" she said.

"Me? Why are you worried about me?" I questioned.

"I know how you get. I know the way you think about yourself. After your conversation I had a flash of your future, and I didn't like what I saw," she explained.

"What did you see?" I asked concerned.

"You… alone again… just like before. You can't be thinking that, Edward. I won't allow it, not again. I can't go through that again," she pleaded.

What could I say? These thoughts never entered my mind, not that I knew of. Running back over the conversation with Esme, also my thoughts to myself, there was nothing such as that. I had no idea what Alice was speaking of.

"Edward, did you hear me?" she asked.

"Yes, but Alice, I never thought of anything like that. I don't know where this is coming from," I said.

"It's because of your thoughts about yourself. That's what we have to fix here,"

"What do you mean?" I asked puzzled.

"That's enough… you are wonderful. You're the best brother a girl could have. You've done so much for this family…" I cut her off.

"Alice, stop it," I demanded.

"No. You're going to hear this… once and for all. You're overwhelming loyalty has been unwavering and we all feel the same, even Rose. Bella is the lucky one, Edward. The feelings you have for her are extraordinary and the most wonderful part is that she feels exactly the same as you do. For you to even think of letting any part of that go is ridiculous. You can't live without us and you can't live without her. Just know that you deserve her and you deserve us, that everything you've done up until now has lead you here, to this moment, and you need to accept that we all love you and we all want you around forever," she suddenly ended.

What was I to say to that? That was quite the speech. How would I believe her? Standing I placed my fingers to the bridge of my nose.

"Alice…" I began, but she stopped me. I dropped my hand.

"No, Edward. I don't want to hear it. I want you to accept what I'm telling you," she begged.

"Fine, but I just was going to say thank you. Thank you for all the nice things you said. I'm not certain you're right, but thank you. And, I'm almost positive I wasn't going anywhere, but I'll keep it in mind," I offered.

"I know that everything appears difficult at the moment, with not knowing what's coming our way, but it's not like that. It's not as bad as it appears. Everything's going to work out, we'll find whoever this is and put everything back to normal. Everything tells me that, Edward. It'll all work out," she offered.

"Are you sure about that, Alice?" I snapped.

"As a matter of fact, I am. The only thing that has me concerned these days is you. You're the only one whose future is undecided, the rest are perfectly fine, but you, you're all over the place. I wish you would just calm down and have a little faith in yourself. We all have faith in you, why can't you?" she asked.

"It's not that easy, Alice."

"Yes, it is. Just accept it. Accept that we all love you and we're all proud of you. Accept that we want you here with us. And, you need to accept that you're the best thing for Bella, he could never compare to you, trust me. She will never see him as she sees you and she would never allow you to leave again. She couldn't handle that, it would kill her, this, I know for certain. I saw first hand what it did to her last time and she couldn't survive it again," Alice explained.

How could I respond? Alice had really put it all out there this time. There was no room for argument not that I was about to. Her thoughts about Bella had disturbed me though. Hearing her thoughts and knowing what Jacob thought left me conscious of the wrong I had done to Bella. It was not right that one person was so dependent on another, but then again, I needed her to survive. Moreover, if I needed her, then why wouldn't I change her myself?

"Alice, it's all right, I'm not going anywhere, never again. She's stuck with me. So stop worrying, I'm not leaving, I promise," I said with conviction.

"All right, Edward. I'll believe you. But believe me when I tell you how wonderful you really are," she uttered.

"Yeah, sure. Is that everything?" I asked.

"Yep. That's all I wanted to say."

Thank heavens! I didn't think I could listen to anymore. We started back for the house when my phone rang out.

"I wonder who that could be," Alice said with a smile.

"Funny," I smiled back, opening my phone. "Bella?" I said quickly.

However, it was not Bella, and I tensed up immediately when I heard his voice instead.

"No. It's me, Jacob. She's asleep," he answered.

Freezing, I didn't know how to answer.

"Is everything all right?" I asked calmly.

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She just fell asleep at the bonfire. I'm going to drive her to the line, so you can pick her up," he answered.

"Fine. I'll be there in a minute. Thanks for the call," I added.

"No problem," the line went dead.

Alice who had stopped when I did, was glaring at me. "Everything all right?" she asked.

"Yeah, Bella feel asleep on him, he can't be that exciting," I winked at her. "I'm going to pick her up."

"That's nice he called you," she added.

"I suppose. See you later."

Running for my car, I jumped in and headed for La Push. Within a few minutes, I was at the line waiting for them to arrive. Time passed too slowly and I was growing anxious. Getting out of the car, I walked around to the front of it and began pacing back and forth. Something was wrong it shouldn't take this long, what's the hold up?

Hearing his car coming around the corner, my breathing started again, as I stood watching. He parked thirty yards away again. Waiting patiently for her door to open, it didn't. Hearing his thoughts and he wasn't lying, he had to wake her when he stopped the car.

She was disoriented when she woke and realized she was in Jacob's car.

"Oh, crap!" she gasped as reality set in. "How late is it? Dang it, where's that stupid phone?"

"Easy. It's not even midnight yet. And, I already called him for you. Look –he's waiting there," he pointed to me.

"Midnight?" she repeated.

"Here," he said, placing the phone in her hand.

"You called Edward for me?"

He smiled. "I figured if I played nice, I'd get more time with you."

Think again, his little games wouldn't work. He was attempting to be the bigger man, but I was already the bigger man, allowing her to come here in the first place. Besides, he couldn't be the bigger man… he was a dog.

"Thanks, Jake," she said. "Really, thank you. And thanks for inviting me tonight. That was…" she paused. "Wow. That was something else."

Okay, so perhaps I was wrong. Maybe his little act of kindness would impress her more than I thought… interesting.

"And you didn't even stay up to watch me swallow a cow," he laughed. "No, I'm glad you like it. It was… nice for me. Having you there."

Growing more impatient, I began pacing faster.

"Yeah, he's not so patient, is he?" Jacob said. "Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?"

"Sure, Jake," she promised, cracking the door open, finally.

"Sleep tight, Bells. Don't worry about anything –I'll be watching out for you tonight."

I'm sure he would, now that I said it was okay for him to cross the line to keep an eye on the house. What on earth was I thinking?

"No, Jake. Get some rest, I'll be fine."

"Sure, sure," he said.

"Night, Jake. Thanks."

"Night, Bella," he whispered.

Thank heavens I didn't think I could last much longer. Turning towards her, I stood still and waited. She came running toward me as I wound my arms tightly around her.

"Bella," I said, relief strong in my voice as it washed threw my body.

"Hi. Sorry I'm so late. I fell asleep and…"

"I know. Jacob explained," I started toward the car, and she staggered at my side. "Are you tired? I could carry you."

"I'm fine."

"Let's get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?"

"Yeah –it was amazing, Edward. I wish you could have come. I can't even explain it. Jake's dad told us the old legends and it was like… like magic."

"You'll have to tell me about it. After you've slept."

"I won't get it right," she said, as she yawned.

I chuckled, opening the door for her and lifting her in. Pulling the seat belt around her, I pressed it into place.

Dropping her at the house, I waited until she was safely inside. Pressing the gas, I drove back to my house to drop the car. Parking in the garage, Rosalie was patiently waiting for me. Was this going to be another talk? I hoped not, I was all talked out today. Bracing myself, I stepped out of the car. There was no telling what she had to say.

"Rose. What's up?" I asked cautiously.

"Edward. Not much," she answered suspiciously.

"Well, I'd love to chat, but I…" she interrupted before I had a chance to finish.

"This will only take a minute, I promise," she pleaded.

"All right, what is it?"

"I just wanted to say that Alice was right. You have to know that we all love you and don't want you to go anywhere, without us. And… I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused, it won't happen again. If Bella is what you want, then you should have her you deserve some happiness, Edward. And… she makes you happy, I can see that now and I'm happy for you. That's all, that's everything," she said as she put her head down.

"Rose!" I said.

"What?"

"Thank you, and I love you too. And by the way, you haven't been that much trouble," I said with a smile. "I've got to get back. See you later."

"Bye, Edward," She said with a smile, as I ran off.

Arriving in the forest just outside of Bella's house, I peered up at her window. There with the moonlight shining brightly reflecting off the glass, sat my angel looking out. Knowing she was searching for me, the excitement began to build. Seeing her beautiful face took my breath away. From a distance I heard the leaves rustle, snapping my head to the side, I stretched my extra-hearing out to figure out who it was. To my surprise, it was Esme, who immediately came to my side.

"I suppose it's your turn?" I asked.

"Yes. I've been here for a while. Nothing much going on here. Carlisle's coming to join me soon."

"There's really no need for that, Jacob will be here, if he's not already. Perhaps you two could take the night off," I offered.

"Well, I'll wait for Carlisle and see what he suggests. You go, I can see she's waiting for you," she said smiling.

"I know. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks Esme, for everything."

"Your welcome, Edward," she squeezed me tight in a hug, before letting me go.

Turning I ran for the house, quite aware of the two sets of eyes watching me, both Bella and Jacob. I scaled the wall and through the window to my sanctuary, where my angel sat waiting for me.

"Is Jacob out there?" she asked, shivering as I pulled her into the circle of my arms.

"Yes… somewhere. And Esme's on her way home."

She sighed. "It's so cold and wet. This is silly," she shivered again.

"It's only cold to you, Bella."

It didn't take long for her to succumb to sleep. Snuggled beside her I reached over to the floor and pick up the first book available. Wuthering Heights, figures, how could she still be reading such rubbish. Putting the book to the side, I began wondering about all the conversations I had today. Everyone seemed to have something to say to me, this didn't happen often in my family. That's probably because I already knew what everyone was thinking. So how come I hadn't know about these things?

Had I become a total recluse? Do I not hear anyone anymore? Pausing to think about that for a moment, that was it, that was the key. I had become so involved in the search for whoever this was I had shut down everyone else. Thinking for a moment, I couldn't remember the last thought I heard from anyone in my family. Could this be correct? Well, no wonder Alice thought I was leaving, I had shut myself completely of, as I had last year, when we did leave. That hadn't occurred to me, until now. I wasn't there bothering everyone with my annoying little gift, and I was no longer there with my constant humor about everything they did.

They missed me, and I them, being the reason for the way everyone was acting. I had to set them straight beginning with spend more time with my family, from now on. They needed to know how important they were to me, as I appeared to be to them.

Starting tomorrow, things around here were about to change. I had some work to do, both with Bella and my family.

Picking up the book again, I began flipping through the pages. After reading a few passages, I came upon one that I knew well.

_And there you see the distinction between our feelings:_

_had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated_

_him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I never _

_would have raised a hand against him. You may look_

_incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished_

_him from her society as long as she desired his. The _

_moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart_

_out, and drank his blood! But, till then –if you _

_don't believe me, you don't know me –till then, I_

_would have died by inches before I touched a single hair_

_of his head!_

This was an exact description of my relationship –if you can call it that –with Jacob. As long as she desired his friendship, he could remain. I would not do anything to come between that, if that was what she desired. But, when she no longer wanted that friendship, all bets were off. Until that day came –as I knew it would –no harm would come to him.

Bella stirred herself awake. Immediately I threw the book on the floor, a reflex reaction, it landed on the floor, with a thud.

"Did I wake you?" I whispered.

"No," she mumbled, sighing as I tightened my arms around her. "I had a bad dream."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

She shook her head. "Too tired. Maybe in the morning, if I remember."

Laughing I pressed my lips to her hair lightly.

"In the morning," I agreed.

"What were you reading?" she muttered.

"Wuthering Heights," I said.

"I thought you didn't like that book."

"You left it out," I murmured. "Besides… the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I'm discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn't think possible before."

"Mmm," she sighed.

"It's amazing how similar we really are," I said, but she was already fast asleep.

As the nights used to drag on and on, now they seemed to pass by in a flash. Before I knew it, morning had arrived, bringing with it my cue to leave. Tighten my hold on Bella I kissed her, long enough to make her pulse race and her heart thud. Then, it was time to head home to change and get my car.

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing._**


	12. Chapter 12

**_As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers._**

12. AN OCCASION

I arrived home to Alice waiting on the porch, this was becoming ridiculous. Every time I came home, someone was waiting for me. I picked through her brain knowing I couldn't take another heart to heart, so to speak. There it was, plain as day, she was excited about graduation. This was the moment I was dreading and leave it to Alice to be the one who would want to celebrate. A celebration was her intention and I had learned from past experience not to say no to Alice. If a celebration was what she desired, then she could have it, but she would have to inform Bella.

"Fine, Alice, but you have to tell her," I said as I walked up.

"Can't I surprise her?" Alice asked.

"Well, you could try, but I warn you, it won't go well," I said with a smile.

She sat still for a moment looking ahead to see Bella's reaction. It wasn't pretty, just as I assumed. I stood smiling at her, knowing I was correct.

"You two are no fun at all," she pouted.

"Oh, you can have your party. You just have to tell her first," I said laughing as I walked into the house.

"I take back everything I said yesterday, Edward. You are a monster," she snapped.

"I told you so," I responded as I went up the stairs to change.

When I returned she had left the porch and was already waiting in my car, pouting. As much as I was against it, I walked over and jumped into the driver's seat. Glancing at her, she did what she was most famous for, sticking her little tongue out at me. Laughing, I started the engine, and pulled out of the garage. I was still laughing as we pulled out of the driveway and onto the highway.

All day long at school, every time I saw Alice, she pleaded with me about the party. Of course, these were private conversations that only she and I could have. My answer remained the same, if she wanted to do this, she would only need to inform Bella. This I wouldn't waver from, already knowing the consequences of keeping secrets from Bella, I wouldn't be force to do that again.

She picked the perfect time to tell Bella, when we were leaving school. Planning this moment perfectly, it was not her who had to hear Bella gripe, leaving me stuck all night, listening to Bella complain about the party. Alice would pay for this little manipulation she had coordinated. This was strictly revenge for making her tell Bella, but I'd get her back.

"I HAVE FORESEEN…," Alice began in an ominous tone.

I through an elbow toward her ribs, which she neatly dodged.

"Fine," she grumbled. "Edward is making me do this. But I did foresee that you would be more difficult if I surprised you."

We were walking to the parking lot after school, and Bell was completely clueless as to what she was talking about.

"In English?" Bella requested.

"Don't be a baby about this. No tantrums."

"Now I'm scared."

"So you're –I mean we're –having a graduation party. It's no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. But I saw that you would freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party" –she danced out of the way as I reached over to muss her hair- "and Edward said I had to tell you. But it's nothing. Promise."

Bella sighed heavily. "Is there any point in arguing?"

"None at all."

"Okay, Alice. I'll be there. And I'll hate every minute of it. Promise."

"That's the spirit! By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn't have."

"Alice, I didn't!"

"Oh, I know that. But you will."

"Amazing," I interjected. "How can someone so tiny be so annoying?"

Alice laughed. "It's a talent."

"Couldn't you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?" Bella asked. "Now I'll just be stressed that much longer."

Alice frowned at her.

"Bella," she said slowly. "Do you know what day it is?"

"Monday?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yes. It is Monday… the fourth."

Alice grabbed Bella's elbow, spun her halfway around, and pointed toward a big yellow poster taped to the gym door. In big black letters was the date of graduation exactly one week from today.

"It's the fourth? Of June? Are you sure?"

Neither one of us answered. Alice shook her head sadly, I lifted my eyebrows.

"It can't be! How did that happen?" she was quiet for a moment.

Nothing else was said as we made our way to the car. Once inside, I roared the engine to life and pulled out of the parking lot. The silence continued on the way home, except for Alice who was speaking only to me.

_What's the matter with her, Edward? _Alice asked.

I shrugged my shoulders slightly and quickly. Not that Bella would notice she appeared catatonic at the moment.

_This can't be about the party. It's not that big a deal, _she said concerned.

Glancing at her in the rear view mirror with a bewildered look.

_Wow! I guess you were right about telling her. The girl's got some issues. Wow! It's just a party for heaven's sake, _Alice babbled on.

We arrived at our house where Alice got out, saying good-bye she turned and ran off, disappearing through the trees. Glancing over at Bella, she hadn't even noticed we were stopped. Well, this should be an interesting evening, thank you, Alice. Pulling onto the highway I headed directly to Bella's house.

We entered the house, where I led her to the sofa, pulling her down next to me. She stared out the window. What was she thinking? Alice was right, this couldn't all be about some obtuse party, there had to be something else at play here. But, she wasn't talking; in fact, it was difficult to figure out if she were in there at all.

What else could it be, if it was not about the party? Having no knowledge was excruciating. Waiting patiently, I was confident she would snap out of it soon. But as time passed and she continued to remain motionless, I grew exceedingly anxious. Maddening to the point I could no longer stand it. Placing my hands on either side of her face I fixed my eyes on her.

"Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad?"

She didn't say a word, but her vision appeared to have returned.

"Your lips are white. Talk, Bella."

She exhaled a big gust.

"The date took me off guard," she whispered. "That's all."

Waiting for the rest of the explanation, I was concerned.

She tried to explain. "I'm not sure what to do… what to tell Charlie… what to say… how to…" her voice trailed off.

"This isn't about the party?"

She frowned. "No. But thanks for reminding me."

Attempting to read her face.

"You're not ready," I whispered.

"I am," she answered quickly, without thought. Knowing she was lying, she took a deep breath and began again. "I have to be."

"You don't have to be anything."

Hearing her speak this way made me certain I was correct, she was not ready. The panic forming on her face became quite apparent.

Panic surfaced in her eyes. "Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever was in my room…!"

"All the more reason to wait."

"That doesn't make any sense, Edward!"

Pressing my hands more tightly to her face I spoke with slow deliberation.

"Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You've seen what it's done… to Rosalie especially. We've all struggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won't let it be that way for you. You will have a choice."

"I've already made my choice."

"You aren't going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you," I vowed. "When we're through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you're afraid. You won't be forced into this."

"Carlisle promised," she mumbled. "After graduation."

"Not until you're ready," I said in a confirming voice. "And definitely not while you feel threatened."

Okay, I know… I said I wouldn't do this anymore, but this was different, this was something she couldn't decide on her own. This being a choice she needed my guidance with. Having a lot more experience in this matter… it had to be her choice, not forced upon… I refused to have it any other way. And from her silence and her reluctance to argue the issue with me, I was led to believe I was right.

"There," I kissed her forehead. "Nothing to worry about."

She laughed weakly. "Nothing but impending doom."

"Trust me."

"I do."

Still watching her face waiting for her to relax, it didn't appear that simple.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Anything."

She hesitated, biting her lip.

"What am I getting Alice for graduation?"

I snickered. "It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets…"

"That's right!" she said relieved. "The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper last week, and I thought it would be something you'd like, since you said it was a good CD."

"It's a great idea. Thank you."

"I hope it's not sold out."

"It's the thought that counts. I ought to know."

She sighed. Her face wasn't right; there was more than what she was admitting.

"There's something else you meant to ask," I said.

She frowned. "You're good."

"I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me."

She closed her eyes and leaned into me, hiding her face against my chest. This must be critical, as she didn't want me viewing her expression when asking this question. What could be so embarrassing? It seemed to me we were past anything awkward.

"You don't want me to be a vampire."

"No, I don't," I said softly, and waited for more. "That's not a question," I prompted after a moment.

"Well… I was worrying about… why you feel that way."

"Worrying?" I picked out that word with surprise.

What would she be worried about, she already knew why I would say that. I'd made myself perfectly clear on other occasions.

"Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?"

Hesitating for a moment. "If I answer your question, will you then explain your question?"

She nodded, her face still hidden.

Taking a deep breath I answered. "You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours…" I shook my head slowly. "For me to allow this –to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you –is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in –it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever.

If there were any way for me to become human for you –no matter what the price was, I would pay it."

She remained very still for another moment.

"So… it's not that you're afraid you won't… like me as much when I'm different –when I'm not soft and warm and I don't smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out?"

That was her worry… geez… what would I do with her? She never listened to anything I told her. If that were my concern then I wouldn't be here now.

Exhaling deeply. "You were worried I wouldn't like you?" I demanded. Then began laughing. "Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!"

The girl was silly. A subject we had discussed many times before, I thought she understood. Having explained myself clearly on other occasions, how could she think that?

"I don't think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella," I said, echoing of humor still in my voice, "when I don't have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I'll miss. This for one…"

Staring into her eyes as I stroked her cheek the blood rushed up to color her skin. I laughed gently.

"And the sound of your heart," I continued, more serious, but continuing to smile. "It's the most significant sound in my world. I'm so attuned to it now; I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of these things matters. This," I said, taking her face in my hands. "You. That's what I'm keeping. You'll always be my Bella you'll just be a little more durable."

She sighed, letting her eyes close, while her head rested in my hands.

"Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?" I asked.

"Of course," she answered at once, opening her eyes wide with surprise.

Speaking the words slowly. "You don't want to be my wife."

Her heart stopped, then broke into a sprint. I waited, watching and listening to her reaction. It was worse than I had anticipated.

"That's not a question," she finally whispered.

Looking down, dropping my hands from her face I began playing with her fingers.

"I was worrying about why you felt that way."

"That's not a question, either," she whispered.

How bad could it be? Did she really not want me forever?

"Please, Bella?"

"The truth?" she asked.

"Of course. I can take it, whatever it is."

Even though, I said the words out loud; they weren't the whole truth. If she told me she was afraid, if she said that she might not want me forever, it would crush me. Those were words I wasn't certain I was willing to hear. Those were words I was positive I couldn't take. But, I had to know the truth.

She took a deep breath. "You're going to laugh at me."

Flashing my eyes to hers, shocked. "Laugh? I cannot imagine that."

"You see," she muttered, and then sighed. Her face was blazing a deep scarlet red. "Okay, fine! I'm sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It's just… so… so embarrassing!" she confessed, hiding her face against my chest again.

There was a brief pause. Not imaging what she was about to say, I knew it had to be awful for she couldn't even look me in the eye, while she was saying it. I braced myself for all that was to come. I braced myself for the words that would crush my entire existence. She remained quiet.

"I'm not following you."

She tilted her head back and glared at me.

"I'm not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who go knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn't going to be that girl! That's not who I am…" she trailed off, losing steam.

Amazing… that was what was keeping her from saying yes… interesting.

"That's all?" I finally said.

"Isn't that enough?"

"It's not that you were… more eager for immortality itself than for just me?"

"Edward!" she gasped in hysterics. "And here… I always… thought that… you were… so much… smarter than me!"

Taking her in my arms, I was laughing too. It looks as if we were both being ridiculous and needing to articulate ourselves better. Communication remained our greatest problem.

"Edward," she said. "There's no point to forever without you. I wouldn't want one day without you."

"Well, that's a relief," I said.

"Still… it doesn't change anything."

"It's nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I'd like it very much if you'd try to consider mine."

She nodded struggling to keep a frown off her face. Peering straight into her eyes I began again.

"You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn't looking for love –no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that they were selling prospective draftees then –but if I had found…" I paused, cocking my head to the side. "I was going to say if I had found someone, but that won't do. If I had found you, there isn't a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have –as soon as I discovered that you were what I was looking for –gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would have wanted you for eternity, even when the word didn't have quite the same connotations."

Smiling at her.

She stared at me with wide eyes.

"Breathe, Bella," I reminded, smiling.

She breathed.

"Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit?"

She thought briefly about what I was saying to her. I could see it was sinking in. She shook her head from her thought.

"The thing is, Edward," she said in a shaky voice, avoiding the question, "in my mind, marriage and eternity are not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we're living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean."

"But on the other hand," I countered, "you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So why should the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much?"

She pursed her lips. "When in Rome?"

I laughed at her. "You don't have to say yes or no today, Bella. It's good to understand both sides, though, don't you think?"

"So your condition…?"

"Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself…"

I would not waver from that condition. It was set in stone –so to say. There was only one way she would get me to perform such an act… and that remained now and for always… marriage.

"Dum, dum, dah-dum," she hummed under her breath.

Time continued to move quickly. That night as she slept, we were covering all bases. While Jacob patrolled the house, the rest of my family took turns on the East side of town. The wolves were patrolling the West side, all sides were being protected. If our visitor returned we would catch him this time; that I was certain of.

With less to worry about, I began analyzing the conversation I had with Bella. She made some interesting points about her aversion to marriage. I also had strong opinions about being married before allowing her to make any permanent changes. An impasse –not the first time I referred to that word in our relationship –and here we were, again. Knowing, the actual reason behind her hesitation was gratifying. Her concern remained with appearances and not myself, setting my mind at ease. Her aversion to marriage really had nothing to do with me, which was a relief.

I was worried less about our impending marriage and more about our troubles at the moment. That had become my number one priority. With graduation approaching and the future unsettled, extinguishing this problem balanced on the side of urgency. Beginning a new life with uncertainty hanging over her head was unacceptable. Attending college for a year was already problematic, persuading her to agree with all of the commotion around us was impossible. And her attending college was a dream of mine –so to speak.

Pulling me from my reverie Bella began talking in her sleep. That was it, the best part of my night being able to hear her thoughts, unedited. I loved hearing her talk in her sleep.

_I do. Now and forever, _she whispered.

_I love you, Edward, _she said softly.

Glancing at her my heart would've swelled ten times –if I had a heart –to hear her say she loved me and those remained the sweetest words in existence. It provided me hope for our impending marriage. I was uncertain she was speaking of a wedding, but I was willing to imagine it anyway.

That was all she spoke for the moment, so I drifted back to my earlier thoughts. Time continued to move much too quickly, and before I knew, it was morning once again. Kissing her forehead I left before she woke.

Home was unusually quiet as I walked through the front door. With no one in sight I began to investigate. Walking into the kitchen, there was a note on the fridge.

Edward,

Gone hunting won't be

gone long. See you later.

Emmett

Walking up the stairs to my room, I needed to change into fresh clothes before returning to Bella. With everyone hunting the house was quiet, rather peaceful for once. With so many people living in one house, it was a rare occasion that I was here alone. After freshening up I went to retrieve my car and return to Bella's.

Walking into her kitchen, she appeared to be reading something intensely.

"Did I startle you? I'm sorry. I did knock…" she appeared frightened.

"No, no," she said quickly. "Have you seen this?" she pointed to the paper.

My face became serious in an instant.

"I haven't seen today's news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We're going to have to do something… quickly."

She thought about this for a moment.

"What does Alice say?"

"That's the problem," my face strained. "She can't see anything… though we've made up our minds half a dozen times to check it out. She's starting to lose confidence. She feels like she's missing too much these days, that something's wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away."

Her eyes widened. "Can that happen?"

"Who knows? No one's ever done a study… but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify over time. Look at Aro and Jane."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go… and she doesn't see anything because we won't really go until she does. So she can't see us there. Maybe we'll have it do it blind."

Bella shuddered. "No."

Ignoring her statement. There was no need for her to worry. Sooner or later we would have to go, if we ever intended to figure out what was happening. With the Volturi's refusal to step in, that would leave us no choice. And they should've stepped in by now. The fact that they hadn't worried me even more.

"Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We're only a couple of days from finals; they won't be giving us anything new."

"I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing?"

"I want to talk to Jasper."

Knowing the family would be back by the time we arrived. Taking Bella there would fulfill two of my goals, one being spending more time with my family and two figuring out who was behind the latest mess.

Arriving home, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the staircase, her face in her hands and her expression discouraged. Wishing there was something I could say or do to ease her mind, there was nothing. I wish she would have a vision already. As we walked in, Emmett bounded through the kitchen door, appearing perfectly at ease, as he always was.

"Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella?" he grinned at her.

"We both are," I reminded him.

Emmett laughed at my protective nature. "Yes, but it's her first time through high school. She might miss something."

Rolling my eyes, I ignored Emmett and tossed the paper to Carlisle.

"Did you see that they're considering a serial killer now?" I asked.

Carlisle sighed. "They've had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning."

"We can't let this go on."

"Let's go now," Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm. "I'm dead bored."

Rosalie hissed down the staircase from upstairs.

I agreed with Emmett. "We'll have to go sometime."

Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. She was upset, very upset.

Carlisle was shaking his head. "I'm concerned. We've never involved ourselves in this kind of thing before. It's not our business. We aren't the Volturi."

"I don't want the Volturi to have to come here," I said. "It gives us so much less reaction time."

"And all those innocent humans in Seattle," Esme murmured. "It's not right to let them die this way."

"I know," Carlisle sighed.

"Oh," I said sharply, turning my head slightly to look at Jasper. "I didn't think of that. I see. You're right, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything."

Slightly annoyed everyone turned to stare at me. They loathed when I did that, excluding them from conversations. To me it was a natural thing and not done intentionally, it was just sometimes I'd forget.

"I think you'd better explain to the others," I said to Jasper. "What could be the purpose of this?" I began to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought.

My thoughts drifted to what we were discussing, the possible motive behind this. With Jasper about to tell his story, the story of his transformation, having heard this several times, I began to wonder where he was going with it. To know he came from the south, where there was fighting over territories, all the time, he was created for one purpose. To lead his fellow vampires into battle for land. He was a solider when he was changed and his maker wanted a loyal leader to pave the way for her to rein.

Jasper threw a question from his head to me.

_Edward, you haven't told her my story? _he asked.

"No," I answered his question. "I'm sure you can understand why I haven't told her that story. But I suppose she needs to hear it now."

Jasper nodded thoughtfully, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater. He continued with his story, and I continued with my analyzing. Arranging in my mind what Jasper had come up with. He could be on to something with his thoughts about where he'd come from. This seemed like exactly the thing that happened back then, but the questioned remained… why? Why would someone do that?

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing, it's always a pleasure to hear what you think of the story.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Sorry for the delay in updating, hopefully it won't happen again.**_

_**As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**_

Relentlessly plagued by questions I had no answers to I remained disturbed. I had never been this confused. Up until now, my existence had always been straightforward. Certainly, we had our share of troubles, leaving places when people grew suspicious, but I couldn't remember being this inundated by unanswered questions.

Agreeing with Emmett, I thought our only move now was to head to Seattle and find out what was happening. The problem with that was Carlisle's assumption, if we went to Seattle and the Volturi showed up, they'd wonder why we were involved. Their curiosity may prompt them to check Bella's status and that couldn't occur. It was tough having limited options never had any before and it left me uncertain how to deal.

Having few choices, I remained convinced that proceeding to Seattle was the best action, at this time. If we could determine what was occurring there, perhaps it would provide some insight as to what trouble lies ahead. Requiring further investigation, at a later time, prompted me to think of a way to misled Alice. This was never an easy task, it was difficult to hide things from her and I didn't believe for one second that she had lost her gift.

Peering at Alice, she glared at me.

_Don't think I'm missing any of this, _she said still glaring at me.

Seeing the indecision in my head saved me from reproach. Deciding to go, she would immediately inform Carlisle, and he would do everything in his power to stop me. When I decided to go, it would have to be a snap decision. There could be no other way, unless I could persuade Alice that it was in our best interest, which didn't appear likely.

Staring at Bella's face, she was well absorbed listening to Jasper's story. Appalling, was the word I would use to describe his story, and if I were outraged upon first hearing it, then she would be horrified. Her face remained the same throughout his story, but I could see the sympathy she felt for him. Truly, that's not why he was sharing his story with her, there was a point greater then what Jasper went through, and it was directly tied to what was happening now.

Jasper came from a coven that was far more violent then any I had known. The fight for the south dragged on for too long. Everyone wanting more and more territory, when in the north there was peace. Jasper's problem was that he never knew peace existed among our kind, he only knew what his creator allowed him to know. He knew fighting and war, peace was only a wish to him.

His story suddenly caught my attention, when it came to the part where he was changed into one of us. Listening intently, I wanted to make sure he didn't describe his transformation in too much detail. Bella didn't need to hear about that, at this moment. Jasper was in the thick of his story, when I tuned in.

"What is your name, soldier?" Maria asked me.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, ma'am," I stammered, unable to be impolite to a female, even if she was a ghost.

"I truly hope you survive, Jasper," she said in her gentle voice. "I have a good feeling about you."

"She took a step closer, and inclined her head as if she were going to kiss me. I stood frozen in place, though my instincts were screaming at me to run."

Jasper paused, his face thoughtful. "A few days later," he finally said, editing the story because he could feel the tension emanating from me. "I was introduced to my new life."

"Their names were Maria, Nettie, and Lucy. They hadn't been together long –Maria had rounded up the other two- all three were survivors of recently lost battles. Theirs was a partnership of convenience. Maria wanted revenge, and she wanted her territories back. The others were eager to increase their… herd lands, I suppose you could say. They were putting together an army, and going about it more carefully than was usual. It was Maria's idea. She wanted a superior army, so she sought out specific humans who had potential. Then she gave us much more attention, more training than anyone else had bothered with. She taught us to fight, she taught us to be invisible to the humans. When we did well, we were rewarded…"

He paused again, while I glared at him, letting him know to edit this part, too.

After hearing his story repeatedly, I still couldn't fathom that such creatures existed in the world. To know first hand the brutality that they can place on one another was baffling. Speculating how we could be so different, did it not bother these other creatures to be this way, as it did I? Why did I have guilt and remorse for the things I have done and they didn't? Comprehending this was always a struggle for me, and no matter how many of these stories I heard, they never made sense.

These brutal acts were not only placed upon humans, but they had no aversions to behaving this way with our own kind, it was senseless, in my mind. Being created into this, Jasper had little choice in the beginning. He was led to believe his existence depended on fighting. Once he realized another way, he took the offer presented, freeing himself of the mayhem.

Tuning my attention back to Jasper's story, he was approaching the part where he had left Maria and the others, in search of a better life.

"I traveled with Peter and Charlotte for a few years, getting the feel of this new, more peaceful world. But the depression didn't fade. I didn't understand what was wrong with me, until Peter noticed that it was always worse after I'd hunted."

"I contemplated that. In so many years of slaughter and carnage, I'd lost nearly all of my humanity. I was undeniably a nightmare, a monster of the grisliest kind. Yet each time I found another human victim, I would feel a faint prick of remembrance for that other life. Watching their eyes widen in wonder at my beauty, I could see Maria and the others in my head, what they had looked like to me the last night that I was Jasper Whitlock. It was stronger for me –this borrowed memory- than it was for anyone else, because I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them."

"You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me. I live every day in a climate of emotion. For the first century of my life, I lived in a world of bloodthirsty vengeance. Hate was my constant companion. It eased some when I left Maria, but I still had to feel the horror and fear of my prey.

"It began to be too much.

"The depression got worse, and I wandered away from Peter and Charlotte. Civilized as they were, they didn't feel the same aversion I was beginning to feel. They only wanted peace from the fight. I was so wearied by killing –killing anyone, even mere humans.

"Yet I had to keep killing. What choice did I have? I tried to kill less often, but I would get too thirsty and I would give in. After a century of instant gratification, I found self-discipline… challenging. I still haven't perfected that."

Jasper lost in his story, suddenly smoothed his expression into a peaceful smile, and I knew where this part was headed.

"I was in Philadelphia. There was a storm, and I was out during the day –something I was not completely comfortable with yet. I knew standing in the rain would attract attention, so I ducked into a little half-empty diner. My eyes were dark enough that no one would notice them, though this meant I was thirsty, and that worried me a little.

"She was there –expecting me, naturally," he chuckled once. "She hopped down from the high stool at the counter as soon as I walked in and came directly toward me.

"It shocked me. I was not sure if she meant to attack. That's the only interpretation of her behavior my past had to offer. But she was smiling. And the emotions that were emanating from her were like nothing I'd ever felt before."

"'You've kept me waiting a long time,' she said."

Alice had moved to stand behind us.

"And you ducked your head, like a good Southern gentleman, and said, 'I'm sorry, ma'am,'" Alice laughed at the memory.

Jasper smiled down at her. "You held out your hand, and I took it without stopping to make sense of what I was doing. For the first time in almost a century, I felt hope."

Jasper took Alice's hand as he spoke.

Alice grinned. "I was just relieved. I thought you were never going to show up."

They smiled at each other for a long moment, and then Jasper looked back to Bella, the soft expression lingering.

"Alice told me what she'd seen of Carlisle and his family. I could hardly believe that such an existence was possible. But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them."

"Scared the hell out of them, too," I said, rolling my eyes at him before turning to explain to Bella. "Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak" –I nudged Alice playfully- "who greets them all by name, knows everything about them, and wants to know which room she can move into."

Alice and Jasper laughed in harmony.

"When I got home, all my things were in the garage," I continued.

Alice shrugged. "Your room had the best view."

We all laughed together.

"That's a nice story," Bella said.

Three pairs of eyes questioned her sanity.

"I mean the last part," she defended herself. "The happy ending with Alice."

"Alice had made all the difference," Jasper agreed. "This is a climate I enjoy."

"An army," Alice whispered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The others were intent again, their eyes locked on Jasper's face.

"I thought I must be interpreting the signs incorrectly. Because where is the motive? Why would someone create an army in Seattle? There is no history there, no vendetta. It makes no sense from a conquest standpoint, either; no one claims it. Nomads pass through, but there's no one to fight for it. No one to defend it from.

"But I've seen this before, and there's no other explanation. There is an army of newborn vampires in Seattle. Fewer than twenty, I'd guess. The difficult part is that they are totally untrained. Whoever made them just set them loose. It will only get worse, and it won't be much longer till the Volturi step in. Actually, I'm surprised they've let this go on so long."

"What can we do?" Carlisle asked.

"If we want to avoid the Volturi's involvement, we will have to destroy the newborns, and we will have to do it very soon," Jasper's face was hard as these thoughts disturbed him. "I can teach you how. It won't be easy in the city. The young ones aren't concerned about secrecy, but we will have to be. It will limit us in ways that they are not. Maybe we can lure them out."

The thought struck me hard and fast. There was a danger here, there was someone to fight and it would appear to outsiders that someone did claim Seattle. There stood a threat near by and it was one that was larger than any of our kind.

"Maybe we won't have to," my voice bleak. "Does it occur to anyone else that the only possible threat in the area that would call for the creation of an army is… us?"

Jasper's eyes narrowed; Carlisle's widened, shocked.

"Tanya's family is also near," Esme said slowly, unwilling to accept my perception.

"The newborns aren't ravaging Anchorage, Esme, I think we have to consider the idea that we are the targets."

It was so simple. I'm surprised I didn't think of it before. We were the biggest threat. If we were a threat in the eyes of Volturi, then certainly we were a threat to whoever this was.

"They're not coming after us," Alice insisted, and then paused. "Or… they don't know that they are. Not yet."

"What is that?" I asked, curious and nervous. "What are you remembering?"

"Flickers," Alice said. "I can't see a clear picture when I try to see what's going on, nothing concrete. But I've been getting these strange flashes. Not enough to make sense of. It's as if someone's changing their mind, moving from one course of action to another so quickly that I can't get a good view…"

"Indecision?" Jasper asked in disbelieve.

"I don't know…"

"Not indecision," I growled. "Knowledge. Someone who knows you can't see anything until the decision is made. Someone who is hiding from us. Playing with the holes in your vision."

Damn it. This was worse than I had first anticipated. If this were true, then whoever this was, knew us, better than we thought. They been watching us for longer than we imagined, unless, it was the Volturi.

"Who would know that?" Alice whispered.

There was only one person I knew of. "Aro knows you as well as you know yourself."

"But I would see if they'd decided to come…"

"Unless they didn't want to get their hands dirty."

"A favor," Rosalie suggested, speaking for the first time. "Someone in the South… someone who already had trouble with the rules. Someone who should have been destroyed is offered a second chance –if they take care of this one small problem… That would explain the Volturi's sluggish response."

"Why?" Carlisle asked, still shocked. "There's no reason for the Volturi…"

"It was there," I disagreed quietly. "I'm surprised it's come to this so soon, because the other thoughts were stronger. In Aro's head he saw me at his one side and Alice at his other. The present and the future, virtual omniscience. The power of the idea intoxicated him. I would have thought it would take him much longer to give up on that plan –he wanted it too much. But there was also the thought of you, Carlisle, of our family, growing stronger and larger. The jealousy and the fear: you having… not more than he had, but still, things that he wanted. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn't hide it completely. The idea of rooting out the competition was there; besides their own, ours is the largest coven they've ever found…"

Bella was staring at me in horror but I couldn't return her stare. There was no way to calm her at this point. Never having told her any of this, I wished I wasn't required to now.

"They're too committed to their mission. They would never break the rules themselves. It goes against everything they've worked for," Carlisle offered.

"They'll clean up afterward. A double betrayal," I said in a grim voice. "No harm done."

Jasper leaned forward, shaking his head. "No, Carlisle is right. The Volturi do not break rules. Besides, it's much too sloppy. This… person, this threat –they have no idea what they're doing. A first-timer, I'd swear to it. I cannot believe the Volturi are involved. But they will be."

We all stare at each other, frozen with stress.

"Then let's go," Emmett almost roared. "What are we waiting for?"

Carlisle and I exchanged a long glance.

_Edward, I don't like this, there's not enough information, but… if we must… we'll have to destroy them. We'll need to know a few things,_ Carlisle spoke only for me.

Nodding once I knew how difficult this was for him. Carlisle believed that there was always a peaceful way to handle things, and when there wasn't, it was strenuous for him.

"We'll need you to teach us, Jasper," Carlisle finally said. "How to destroy them."

Bella sat speechless staring at the floor. I was certain all this talk was upsetting to her, but there was nothing I could do about that. She wanted to be involved in everything, and although it went against my better judgment, I would involve her.

"We're going to need help," Jasper said. "Do you think Tanya's family would be willing…? Another five mature vampires would make an enormous difference. And then Kate and Eleazar would be especially advantageous on our side. It would be almost easy, with their aid."

Carlisle's calm was shaken. He took the phone, and paced toward the windows. He dialed a number, held the phone to his ear, and laid the other hand against the glass. He stared out into the foggy morning with a pained and ambivalent expression.

Taking Bella's hand, I pulled her to the white loveseat. Sitting her beside me she stared at my face, while I stared at Carlisle.

Carlisle spoke with the normal speed of our kind, explaining the situation in Seattle, which Tanya was already were aware of. He continued clarifying what we wanted from them. This was when it happened to my shock and dismay.

"Oh," he said his voice sharp in surprise. "We didn't realize… that Irina felt that way."

I groaned, closing my eyes. "Damn it. Damn Laurent to the deepest pit of hell where he belongs."

"Laurent?" Bella whispered, but I didn't respond, I was listening intensely to Carlisle's conversation.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Somehow I knew the wolves involvement would come back to haunt us. That was it. Wishing it wasn't at this time. What were we to do? Focusing back on the phone conversation, Carlisle's voice, which was persuasive, abruptly took an edge to it.

"There's no question of that," Carlisle said in a stern voice. "We have a truce. They haven't broken it, and neither will we. I'm sorry to hear that… Of course. We'll just have to do our best alone."

Carlisle shut the phone without waiting for an answer. He continued to stare out into the fog. It was over and they were not going to help.

"What's the problem?" Emmett murmured to me.

This was so unbelievable, for this to come back at us now was excruciating.

"Irina was more involved with our friend Laurent than we knew. She's holding a grudge against the wolves for destroying him to save Bella. She wants…" I paused, looking down at her.

"Go on," Bella said as evenly as she could.

How could I say this to her? There was no easy way to. And, even though we would never allow it, knowing that someone out there was having these thoughts would disturb Bella.

My eyes tightened. "She wants revenge. To take down the pack. They would trade their help for our permission."

"No!" Bella gasped.

"Don't worry," I told her in a flat voice. "Carlisle would never agree to it," I hesitated, then sighed. "Nor would I. Laurent had it coming" –I growled quietly- "and I still owe the wolves for that."

"This isn't good," Jasper said. "It's too even a fight. We'd have the upper hand in skill, but not numbers. We'd win, but at what price?" his tense eyes flashed to Alice's face and away.

Looking around at everyone, I knew exactly what each of them was thinking. Each one of them contemplated what Jasper had said. At what price –rang out through the minds of all of them. With nothing more to say, and everyone lost in thought, it was time to return Bella home. Not wanting Charlie to grow suspicious, I needed to get her home.

Driving to her house, she was quiet, as I knew she would be. What could she say about the information she received today? Horrendous, was the word I used to describe it. It was my desire that she never hear of such things. If she became one of us, this would never be an issue for her, I would keep her from doing something she would regret.

We all had our regrets and I was determined to make sure that was not her story. If she were going to become one of us –against my wishes- I would take care of her. The thought of that, the thought of Bella cold and hard was too much to bear.

Arriving at her house, I walked her to the door. Kissing her good-bye, I would return later, after dark. Turning I went to my car and drove home.

Jasper and Alice were waiting in the garage. Their minds were swirling with many thoughts, all about the discussions today, understandably, as were mine. Stepping out of the car, there was silence for a moment.

"I know. I know. It's difficult to consider going, but what choice do we have," I said.

"Edward, I'm concerned," Jasper said. "What we have in experience, we lack in numbers."

"How difficult are we talking, Jasper?" I asked.

"Difficult. We have a multitude of problems. First they'll be much stronger then any of us. Second they'll have no strategy to follow, they'll be crazed and unpredictable. Not a good combination for our side. I'm worried that we'll end up with casualties," he explained, glancing at Alice in the end.

"How can we avoid that?" I asked.

"More help would be good, hopefully Carlisle can come up with more people. If we only had a couple more we would be good," he said.

"Well let's hope he can," I added.

Jasper made his way back to the house, leaving Alice with me.

"Have you seen anything else?" I asked.

"No… and it's very frustrating," she said sourly.

"Don't worry, I'm certain when there's something to see, you will," I offered.

"But I want to help, I want to figure this out. I don't like the thought of us going in blind. I would feel better if we had something," she said.

"Alice, no matter what happens, we will have a slight advantage. I can still hear, or had you forgotten. I know it's not ideal and we would have to be close, but it's still an advantage," I offered.

"I know, but I don't like feeling useless," she said.

"You're hardly useless, now stop it. We'll do what we have to. That's all there is to it. So stop fretting over things beyond our control. It'll all work out."

"Thank you, Edward," she said softly.

"Come on, let's get inside."

With Emmett and Rosalie off at Bella's house, Esme upstairs, and Jasper sitting at the computer, Alice ran to join him. Carlisle was left sitting in the living room watching the local news, to obtain what new information he could. His thoughts were full of indecision. He wasn't pleased thinking about what was coming, attempting to discover any other way to handle this.

_Is there nothing else we can do? Must we really resort to that, Edward?_ he said quietly, as I sat next to him on the couch.

"I don't see any other way, Carlisle," I answered. "Perhaps, Emmett and I should go to Seattle and have a peek. See what we can come up with," I suggested.

"No, Edward. You can't do that. You heard Jasper. You and Emmett would be no match for them. If anything happened…" he trailed off.

"But if we could get close enough, I'd be able to hear their thoughts, maybe figure out who was creating them. That would be a big advantage, knowing who was behind this," I explained.

"But Edward, what if something went wrong? What if they discovered you there? I wouldn't allow you to risk yourself that way. Either we all go, or none of us do!" he demanded.

"Well, I could put that back to you. I feel I should go without you. Why risk everyone when we don't know what were facing. It would be better for me to go alone…" I was interrupted.

"That's not going to happen," Emmett roared. "I haven't been waiting this long to be left out," he said, as he and Rose came through the kitchen, returning from Bella's.

"Emmett, please," I pleaded, growing angry, almost having convinced Carlisle.

"No, Edward. I'm going with you, you're not going alone," Emmett yelled.

"No one is going. It's too dangerous. Now that's enough of this talk. Until we know what's happening your not going anywhere," Esme said in a strained voice.

That essentially ended that conversation. My plan was still to find a way to get there on my own, but I would have to think about this later. There was way too much tension in this house, at this moment. Wanting to settle things down, I needed something to say.

"Fine. We'll wait. Hopefully Alice will see something before we need to step in," I said.

"Not to worry, Edward. No one is getting in this town without our knowledge. She will be safe, with us watching and the wolves, there's no way to get around us all," Carlisle reminded me.

"I know. We'll wait, I don't like it, but I'll wait," I said.

Getting up I walked to my room. It had been awhile since I sat and listened to music. With everything going on there wasn't much time left for anything else. Since I was to blame for all the commotion around us, it was my responsibility to take care of it. Putting on a CD I sat on the end of my bed and began going over the days events.

All the discussions led to the same conclusions, we still didn't have enough information. And, as I saw it, the only way to obtain more information, was to go and retrieve it. Getting around Alice was the problem, but if our visitors found a way around her, then so could I. Wondering how I would accomplish this…

"Forget it," A tiny voice said from the hall.

"Stop that," I said annoyed.

"No, I'm not going to let you…"

"Alice, I thought you couldn't see anything?" I snapped.

"You wish, Edward. Now stop with these crazy thoughts, it's not going to happen," she said.

"Alice, if I was serious, I wouldn't be thinking where you could see, now would I?" I questioned.

"I suppose not. So what now?" she asked.

"Well, soon I'll be heading back to Bella's," I answered.

"You know what I mean?" she said annoyed.

"I know. Nothing, like Carlisle said we wait," I said solemnly.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about the weekend," she said.

"What about it?"

"The graduation party, we're still having it right?" she asked.

"Alice, I don't know, it's not the best time to have all those children around us," I said.

"Edward, from everything I've seen it will be fine. I promise. I see nothing happening at the party," she pleaded.

"Fine. But you have to remind Bella. She's not going to want to have a party with all that's happening. So you have to tell her," I said.

"That's fine, I'll tell her," she said smiling. "See you later."

"Bye, Alice."

With that she turned and danced out of the room. She was impressive with her inability to let things get in her down. Acting as if everything were normal, when we were in the middle of one of the biggest crisis, we've ever faced. If I had a tendency to overact, she had a tendency to under act. Planning a party –with most of the kids from Forks at our house- was absurd under normal circumstances, but under these conditions, it was ludicrous.

Once Alice got something in her mind, there was no stopping her. Bella would be furious being the reason Alice would have to remind her of the party. With everything going on, I was certain she had forgotten this detail, and there was no way I was getting behind that fury. The party was set for Saturday night, the invitations had gone out, and apart from a death in the family –which at this point could possibly happen-, there was no canceling.

Perhaps it would turn out to be a good thing. Maybe, it would take Bella's mind of our impending doom. Anything that could do that, I would be grateful for. Having these thoughts began to soften my mood. This party might not be such a bad idea after all. Having Bella and her friends here, celebrating a mile stone in their lives, may bring this house exactly what we've needed for a while… some fun.

_That's the spirit,_ a tiny annoying voice rose up from downstairs.

The privacy around this house was becoming an issue, and for once it wasn't my fault. Either I would have to invest in better insulation or I would have to quit making decisions with her around. A moment later the voice rang out again.

_Insulation won't help, _she said laughing.

"Ha, ha, very funny," I said quietly.

Time had passed and it was once again time to head to Bella's. Leaving a bit early I wanted to be there to sweep the neighborhood. Jacob had already done this tonight, but I would feel better doing it myself.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**AS ALWAYS EVERYTHING BELONGS TO STEPHANIE MEYERS**_.

14. GRADUATION

With graduation around the corner, my time was running out. Convincing her to wait appeared to be a waste of my breath, not that I needed said breath, but she was so stubborn. With my offer –of changing her myself, once we married –still lingering in the air, providing me with a little bit of hope that she would accept because I had no other plan. I had no good reason for her to wait except my own aversion to destroying her soul, but nothing else.

My family remained uncooperative because they were just as eager to have Bella join our family as she was. All they considered was my happiness, and I was happy for the first time in a century and that provided them reason enough to be on her side, unethical as it may be. The fact that they valued my happiness over her life was absurd, and there was no way on earth I could tolerate that. Nevertheless, at this point, there was no way to stop them, Carlisle had given his word to Bella, and he would never go back on his word.

As the days quickly passed, Monday turning into Tuesday, Tuesday becoming Wednesday, our impending graduation loomed less than a week away. Adding to my anguish were the events awaiting us after graduation. We were still unable to figure out who was after us and had finally decided to pay a visit to Seattle. I was hopeful we would have resolution to this situation quickly.

As quickly as my nerves were settling –with the Seattle issue –they began stretching tighter than piano wire, again. Alice chose now, to have her talk with Bella about her graduation party. I remained unwilling to have any part of this. Alice once again, picked the perfect moment to bring it up. Alice needed a lesson about timing and I would provide her with that… sooner or later.

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS," Bella said Wednesday afternoon. "You've completely lost your mind!"

"Say whatever you like about me," Alice answered. "They party is still on."

Bella stared at her with wide disbelieving eyes.

I ignored them because I wasn't willing to say anything, getting into the middle of this was not my desire. This was all on Alice.

"Oh, calm down, Bella! There's no reason not to go through with it. Besides, the invitations are already sent."

"But… the… you… I… insane!" she prattled.

"You've already bought my present," Alice reminded her. "You don't have to do anything but show up."

Bella attempted to calm herself. "With everything that is going on right now, a party is hardly appropriate."

"Graduation is what's going on right now, and a party is so appropriate it's almost passé."

"Alice!"

Alice sighed, attempting to be serious. "There are a few things we need to get in order now, and that's going to take a little time. As long as we're sitting here waiting, we might as well commemorate the good stuff. You're only going to graduate from high school –for the first time –once. You don't get to be human again, Bella. This is a once-in-a-lifetime shot."

I remained silent through their little argument. The tone of this conversation was taking a turn that I refused to listen to, prompting me to flash Alice a warning look. She in turn responded as only she could –by sticking her tongue out at me.

"What few things do we need to get in order?" Bella asked.

Alice answered in a low voice. "Jasper thinks we could use some help. Tanya's family isn't the only choice we have. Carlisle's trying to track down a few old friends, and Jasper is looking up Peter and Charlotte. He's considering talking to Maria… but no one really wants to involve the southerners."

Alice shuddered delicately.

"It shouldn't be too hard to convince them to help," I continued. "Nobody wants a visit from Italy."

"But these friends –they're not going to be… vegetarians, right?" Bella protested.

"No," I answered softly.

Thinking of having them near Forks… and Bella… disturbed me. She was probably horrified at the thought.

"Here? In Forks?"

"They're friends," Alice assured her. "Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. And then, Jasper has to teach us a few courses on newborn elimination…"

This was the best part of this scenario, learning new things always appealed to me, as it was so rare that I had the opportunity. Prompting a smile to spread across my face.

"When are you going?" Bella asked in a hollow voice. Worry spread across her face.

"A week," I said casually. "That ought to give us enough time."

"You look green, Bella," Alice commented.

I put my arm around her and pulled her tightly against my side. "It's going to be fine, Bella. Trust me."

She sat silently processing all that we had revealed to her. The quieter she became, the more concerned I grew. This was the exact reason I attempted to shield her from all of this. Her having this knowledge would only cause her to worry, unnecessarily. Thanks to Jacob, keeping things from her would be impossible.

"You're looking for help," she said slowly.

"Yes," Alice's head cocked to the side, processing the change in her voice.

Bella looked only at Alice when she answered. Leaving me to believe I would not like her response. Then she shockingly whispered. "I could help."

Immediately my body tensed harder than a brick wall as my arms squeezed too tightly around her and I exhaled a hiss. How could I response to such an absurd statement?

Alice was the one who answered calmly. "That really wouldn't be helpful."

"Why not?" Bella argued. "Eight is better than seven. There's more than enough time."

"There's not enough time to make you helpful, Bella," Alice disagreed coolly. "Do you remember how Jasper described the young ones? You'd be no good in a fight. You wouldn't be able to control your instincts, and that would make you an easy target. And then Edward would get hurt trying to protect you," Alice folded her arms across her chest, pleased with her unassailable logic.

Bella slumped down in defeat… her hopefulness suddenly vanished.

I relaxed knowing this subject was closed. I peered at Bella and could tell she was distressed. I loved that she would risk life and limb to help us, but also knew it was necessary in this case. She wouldn't be ready in time to fight, which was a relief to me. I needed more time to change her mind. I wanted to lighten up the tension that had form and needed to say something.

I whispered in Bella's ear. "Not because you're afraid."

"Oh," Alice said with a blank look crossing her face. Then her expression became sourly. "I hate last-minute cancellations. So that put the party attendance list down to sixty-five…"

"Sixty-five!" Bella's eyes bulged again.

"Who canceled?" I wondered, ignoring Bella.

"Renee."

"What?" Bella gasped.

"She was going to surprise you for your graduation, but something went wrong. You'll have a message when you get home."

Well, that's disappointing as I was looking forward to seeing Renee again. Spending time in Florida was enjoyable. Bella was probably relieved being one less person at her so-called graduation party.

The message light was flashing when we got to Bella's house. Listening to the message, it appeared that Phil had had an accident on the ball field –while demonstrating a slide, he'd tangled up with the catcher and broken his thigh bone; he was entirely dependent on Renee, and there was no way she could leave him. She was still apologizing when the message cut off.

"Well, that's one," Bella sighed.

"One what?" I asked.

"One person I don't have to worry about getting killed this week."

I rolled my eyes casually, but having her speak that way was disturbing. I wish that she would more faith that we would take care of this and that there would be no human casualties. What would I have to say to make her believe me?

"Why won't you and Alice take this seriously?" she demanded. "This is serious."

I smiled. "Confidence."

"Wonderful," she grumbled.

She picked up the phone and dialed Renee's number. She mostly listened and reassured Renee ever time she could get a word in that she wasn't disappointed, that she wasn't mad, and that she wasn't hurt. Under normal circumstance's I'd know when she was lying, but at this time, I knew she wasn't. She was happy Renee wouldn't be in Forks while we were in this situation, and if she knew of any way to get Charlie out of Forks, she would use it.

I stood patiently next to Bella playing with her hair, while she was conversing with Renee. Every time she looked up at me I smiled. Whenever she looked at me, her beauty took my breath away. She ended the conversation with the normal pleasantries under the circumstances, telling Phil to 'get well soon', and promising to call with all the details of the graduation ceremony.

As soon as she hung up the phone, she stretched onto her tiptoes to kiss me. I put my hands around her waist and lifted her onto the kitchen counter so she wouldn't have to reach as far. She locked her arms around my neck and legs around my waist, crushing herself to my chest.

All too soon… I pulled away.

She pouted which made me laugh as I extricated myself from her. I leaned against the counter next to her placing one arm lightly around her shoulder.

"I know you think I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case."

"I wish," she sighed.

I sighed, too.

"After school tomorrow," I said, changing the subject. "I'm going hunting with Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie. Just for a few hours –we'll stay close. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett should be able to keep you safe."

"Ugh," she grumbled. "I hate being babysat."

"It's temporary," I promised.

"Jasper will be bored. Emmett will make fun of me."

"They'll be on their best behavior."

"Right," she grumbled.

She thought for a moment. "You know… I haven't been to La Push since the bonfire."

I thought about that but did not find the idea appealing. However, I had taken a new direction when it came to our relationship, so if she desired to be in La Push, then so be it.

"I'd be safe enough there," she reminded me.

As much as I wished to refuse her request and as difficult as it would be to say yes, I had to. "You're probably right," was all I could manage to produce.

She scrutinized my face for a moment, as I kept it perfectly smooth. "Are you thirsty already?" she asked, reaching up to stroke beneath my eyes.

"Not really," I answered reluctantly knowing an explanation was in order, but unhappy about giving one. "We want to be as strong as possible," I explained, still reluctant. "We'll probably hunt again on the way, looking for big game."

"That makes you stronger?"

Searching her face for any signs of stress, there were none.

"Yes," I finally said. "Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper's been thinking about cheating –adverse as he is to the idea, he's nothing if not practical –but he won't suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say."

"Would that help?" she quietly.

Help with the present situation… yes. But, at what price? I was unwilling to pay the price –taking an innocent life –to ensure our own survival. That would make us no better than the newborns.

"It doesn't matter. We aren't going to change who we are."

She frowned. Even though I couldn't read her mind, I knew what she was thinking. If she processed this long enough, she'd come to the same conclusion we have. One life is worth no more than another, no matter whose it was.

I was uncomfortable with the turn this conversation was taking and decided to change the subject. "That's why they're so strong, of course. The newborns are full of human blood –their own blood, reacting to the change. It lingers in the tissues and strengthens them. Their bodies use it up slowly, like Jasper said, the strength starting to wane after about a year."

"How strong will I be?"

Here we go again, turning the subject to one, I was unwilling to discuss. "Stronger than I am."

"Stronger than Emmett?"

That gave me a brilliant idea. "Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him."

She laughed, but I was serious.

She sighed, hopping down from the counter, deciding it was time to cram for finals. We sat at the kitchen table… she studied while I tutored her. She was cramming for History and Calculus. After a while, she took a break to call Jacob.

I stood next to her and played with her hair, once again. She spoke to him for a short while and asked permission to visit the next afternoon. As I had previously assumed, he was delighted telling her to show up as soon as it was plausible. For her happiness, I would accept their friendship, even though it made me discontented. Revealing to her how I felt about their relationship was unacceptable because I knew that one day that friendship would no longer exist. I understood the truth and would wait patiently for that day to arrive.

The next afternoon I insisted on driving her to the boundary line. Although she thought it was childish, it was my only request in allowing her to visit Jacob. I would never allow her to drive there alone, anything could happen along the way.

"So how do you feel you did on your exams?" I asked on the way, making small talk.

"History was easy, but I don't know about the Calculus. It seemed like it was making sense, so that probably means I failed."

I laughed. "I'm sure you did fine. Or, if you're really worried, I could bribe Mr. Varner to give you an A."

"Err, thanks, but no thanks."

Laughing again, I suddenly stopped when we came around the last bend and I saw his car waiting for her. Listening to that dog was becoming very annoying. I parked the car and sighed.

"What's wrong?" she asked as her hand reached for the door.

Shaking my head. "Nothing," I said, as I stared through the windshield toward his car, listening.

"You're not listening to Jacob, are you?" she accused.

"It's not easy to ignore someone when he's shouting."

"Oh," she paused for a moment. "What's he shouting?" she whispered.

"I'm absolutely certain he'll mention it himself," I said.

Jacob impatiently honked twice.

"That's impolite," I growled.

"That's Jacob," was all she said, as she hurried out the door.

Watching her walk away from me as she headed toward him, I saw the images in his head, which were making me anxious. By the time she arrived at his car, I was angry… too angry… down right staring as she climbed in his car. It was time to leave, for if I remained one more second I would certainly…

Pressing on the gas, I spun the car around and headed home. His thoughts played in my mind over and over like a broken record. I had prior knowledge of his attempt and the day had arrived that he would try to convince her that she belonged with him, which made allowing her to leave excruciating. This was the day… the day I'd been dreading… since she began conversing with him again. For this was the day he would declare his love for her. Another long day would plague me.

How could I do it? How could I just let her walk away from me, without even attempting to stop her? How foolish was I? Would this be the last time I saw her? No, the answer was always, no. She loved me! She'd made it clear on more than one occasion, and I'd have to trust that her love would bring her back? She couldn't fall for him; he had nothing to offer her. Certainly she could do better than some… Dog!

Arriving home I was not surprised that Alice was waiting for me. I pulled into the garage and glared at her making it apparent that I didn't want to discuss anything. As usual, she didn't pay me any mind.

_Edward, forget him. She will, when she comes home._ she said as I stepped out of the car.

"Do you know that for certain, Alice? Or are you making a guess?" I snapped at her.

"For certain," she replied.

"Really, so you've seen this?" I accused.

"No. But, I know women, are you forgetting, I am one. Trust me when I tell you, she'll be back," she offered.

"I'll trust you when she's home safe with me!" I said, turning to go into the house. Alice followed along with more thoughts in her head that I didn't want to hear, but couldn't tune out.

_Edward, he's a dog. She'd never chose him over you. She loves you way too much for that. She's going to marry you, and she's going to be…_

"Alice… please… that's enough. No more. I will listen to no more," I snapped.

"Fine, but it's the truth," she said as she flew passed me into the house.

I proceeded into the house everyone was waiting patiently for me.

"Are we ready to go?" Carlisle asked.

"Sure," I answered.

"Yeah, he'll be a lot of fun today," Alice answered sourly.

"Alice, give me a break," I retorted.

"Alice, leave Edward alone," Carlisle demanded.

"Fine. I'm sorry, Edward," she said.

Nodding at her was all I was able to manage.

With Bella safely away, and Charlie safe at work, we all had the opportunity to hunt today. We left the house for the woods, running away from Forks and deeper into the forest. We were extremely careful when hunting, not to upset the balance of nature. We usually attempted to find areas that were over populated. Those were Carlisle's rules that we followed quite easily.

Arriving at our chosen destination, everyone was all business, with the exception of myself. Not being able to put Jacob's words out of my head, my imagination was running wild. Growing angrier by the minute, my mind ran through several scenarios, all ending troublesome for me. With him about to declare his love for her, where would that leave me? What would happen if she chose him? What would I do?

With several questions swirling my mind, there were no answers in sight. Waiting for this day to end, for answers to the questions I had, seemed unbearable. Waiting was not my strongest quality, and yet, that's how I appeared to spend most of my time. When would all these questions come to an end? When would I know for certain that I was meant for her and she for me?

"Edward, we came here for a purpose!" Carlisle pulled me from my thoughts.

"I know, but I have a lot on my mind," I answered.

"What's troubling you?" he asked.

"It's nothing," I lied.

"Tell me, perhaps I can help," Carlisle suggested.

"I'm just worried about Bella right now," I said quietly.

"She'll be safe with them, Edward," Carlisle said.

"It's not where she is, that's the problem. It's who she's with," I answered.

"Oh… well, she's been with him before. I don't see the problem?" He questioned.

"Carlisle, there were things he was planning to tell her today. Things I'm not certain how she'll react to. By my estimations it could go either way, I can't be sure," I confessed.

"Well, Edward, she's going to have to make a decision. Whatever she decides, we'll have to deal with it. But if I know her, as well as I think I do, you have nothing to worry about. She's very much in love with you and that's rare. You don't give that up easily, as you already know," Carlisle offered.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I appreciate your confidence," I answered quietly, not certain I could believe what he was telling me.

"Now, we have things to prepare for, and sitting around here is not getting the job so let's go!" he said.

"Fine, let's get to it, then," I said rising from the ground.

We spent the rest of the afternoon hunting. When everyone had enough, we started for home. Half way I stopped prompting Esme to do the same. She stood staring at me for a moment. Cocking her head to the side she spoke.

"Go, Edward, we'll see you at home," She said quietly.

"Thanks, Esme. I'll be back soon." I said turning and running in the opposite direction. Picking up speed, my desire to be there was overwhelming and I couldn't get there quick enough. Coming upon my destination, I slowed to a walk. With all the beauty this place holds, I always felt safe here. Walking to the center of my meadow, I collapsed to the ground and fell on my back. Coming here always eased my mind.

Being here reminded me of everything we shared, and Carlisle was correct, she did love me. Looking around this magical place alleviated me from my thoughts for the first time since leaving her with him today. I was grateful for the memories that came rushing back every time I entered this wondrous place. When I returned here I remember all my happy memories with Bella. Every moment spent with her was wonderful and I had not had enough yet. More time was something I had come to desire in the past year. My existence had simply become about having more time. _When did that happen?_

I had spent the last century with all the time in the world and suddenly, it felt like time was running out. I wanted more time with Bella… wanted more time for her to be human… but all that seemed doubtful, at the present time. Time was a request I had asked for quite often, but appeared to be very improbable I would be granted. It felt as if the world was against me and that all of my attempts to rectify the situation were failing.

With my existence spiraling out of control and my world falling apart, I wasn't sure how to proceed. It seemed to me that everything had suddenly spun out of my control, and this was not the way I had existed before. Control was a key role in my existence and I didn't know how to exist without it. Gaining back control would be my newest priority and I would begin with finding our visitor and extinguishing him… once and for all.

If I were required to do that, then I would need to be as strong as I could possibly be, which would require me to hunt a little more. Rising from the ground, I immediately went to work. Filling myself beyond full, gluttonous really, but it worked to the extent animal blood could. Jasper was right –human blood would be more efficient- and for the slightest moment I envisioned this. I needed an edge, one that would make us stronger, would there really be any harm in… Yes, the answer was always, yes.

Why was I even entertaining these thoughts? I would never allow that to occur… to even imagine it, for one second, was immoral. Killing an innocent victim, for my personal gain, was utterly evil, producing these images made me depraved. Shaking those images from my head I caught a glimpse of Alice, who was standing a little off to my right. The expression on her face was all I needed to see to know she saw my snap decision.

_Edward, it's not that bad. I promise, _she said quietly.

"I know… I know, Alice. I was just thinking. I would never…" unable to finish.

"We're going to be fine. No matter what Jasper thinks, we'll all be okay," she offered.

"You don't know that for certain," I answered.

"I have to believe it'll be fine. We will be victorious. If I didn't think that, I wouldn't let anyone of us go. Losing one of us is out of the question. We're strong enough and we have more advantages then they do. You and I alone make up for anything they could bring forth. So, don't worry so much. We'll go take care of this with no problem."

"Yeah, right. No problem. Sure," I answered glumly.

"Edward, we're stronger than you think. We're ready," she snapped.

"Fine… if you say so," I said coldly.

"You aren't still worried about what's going on with Bella, are you?" she asked.

"What?" I asked not really wanting to hear the question.

"Are you concerned about what's happening with Bella?" she asked.

"Of course I am!" was all I could muster.

She laughed. "Edward, stop it. She's in love with you."

"She loves him too. Alice, you don't know. You don't know how much it hurt her when they weren't speaking," I argued.

"No, I don't. But I did see when you left her… that was the worse thing I've ever witnessed," I cringed when she said this. I had seen what Bella was like through Jacob's thoughts. "That was the worst period in her life, Edward. Nothing compared to that, her and Jacob aren't even close," she finished.

"Alice, she could change her mind, humans do that all the time," I reminded her.

"No, Edward. Women don't just change their minds. Geez… you're so silly," she was smiling.

"Alice, it's possible," I snapped angrily.

"Trust me, Edward, it's not possible. Once you've found that kind of love, you never let it go. You don't find someone else. This is a once in a lifetime thing. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about," she ended with.

Everyone had gone back to the house, and it was time to follow. Alice and I said no more words and ran through the forest in the direction of the house.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing. **_


	15. Chapter 15

_**As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**_

15. DAMAGE

Arriving at the house, everyone was gathered in the living room, watching the evening news. Theories were swirling the room about the occurrences in Seattle. Along with the multiple deaths, there were more missing people. I was distressed wondering what was happening to these people. Were they hunting them or worse, were they being changed to generate an army? Either possibility was alarming, all those innocent victims, it was just senseless. Carlisle was quite disturbed and being the head of this family left him with determining what was best for us all.

His mind bustled with an indefinite future. Truly, I'd never seen him so ambivalent before. He, resembling myself in many ways always seemed to have the answers, but we had never been confronted by anything quite like this before. His instincts screamed to avoid Seattle, but disregarding it would cause a reaction from the Volturi, and no one wanted that. I loathed intruding on his privacy and it was difficult to ignore his pain as I experienced it right along side him.

I had to stop this, all the pain I've caused, and the time had come to rectify the situation. Carlisle's suffering had to end, I would tolerate this no longer. Reclaiming this, regaining control of the situation was the key; after all, it was my problem. I needed to start with discovering whom our unwanted guest was, that giving me the ability to put this whole situation to a rest, once and for all.

Where to begin? Bella's house emerged as the most obvious place to begin, since that's what interested our intruder. Since the intruder had only been to Bella's house and nowhere else, it became key to figure out why? Why had they been to her house and what appealed to them there? If it were the Volturi, as I suspected, what were they waiting for? They had the ability to show up and demand her destruction –after all, she was still human. Their offer had not been fulfilled and they would be justified, if they so desired.

On the other hand, if it were Victoria, my question was, what was she waiting for? If she wanted to gain access to Bella… she had… so what kept her from returning? If she were truly making an army to attack us, then where was the Volturi? Why hadn't they stepped in? The Volturi wouldn't wait –reacting much faster on other occasions –it seemed improbable that they had no knowledge of what was occurring.

My mind was scrambled leaving me with more questions then answers. I became more confused then I was when I had entered the house. I sat at the piano, feeling like the wires –stretched beyond capacity –hoping to calm my nerves before picking up Bella, she couldn't see me this way.

Spreading my hands across the keys, music poured out, compelling me to the place where my mind was peaceful. With the voices out of my head, my mind could settle into the music. Sweeping my fingers across the keys, Bella's lullaby came flowing out. This had become my favorite piece of music and the sound was soothing. My nerves began retracting as they loosened, and my thoughts funneled out as my mind drained.

Music was the one thing that could lighten my mood, the one constant thing that was able to change my view and emotions –besides relying on Jasper. I left all problems behind while music flowed from every fingertip. I allowed myself to be taken away with every note and returning clarity to my overloaded mind. Nothing else existed when I sat at this piano bench, washing away any concerns that may exist.

After playing several pieces, my fingers came to an abrupt halt. I stared out the window, unwilling to hear the thoughts that were being forced upon me. As I attempted to ignore them, they were impossible to disregard.

"Edward, I think we should wait," Carlisle said softly.

"Carlisle, I won't," I snapped.

"We couldn't get anymore help. If we had just a few…"

"No. I've waited too long now. I'm going next week, with or without you. This can't wait any longer," I said angrily, slamming my hand on the top of the piano while rising.

"But, Edward, what if… God forbid… something goes wrong. I can't take that chance with the family," Carlisle explained with a sharpness edge to his voice. In his mind he ran pictures of the entire family displaying everything we stood to loose.

Not liking the tone of this conversation, I took a deep breath.

"I understand that, Carlisle. I wouldn't ask you to, but I can't take any chances with her. I'm going to find out what's going on. I can't tolerate waiting any longer. Please understand! There's nothing else I can do," I pleaded.

"Well, if you're going, then so am I," Emmett spoke up suddenly.

There was a hiss from Rosalie, who was sitting across the room in the armchair.

"Emmett, you don't have to. I can…"

"Edward, I told you before… I've waited long enough, too. I won't allow you to have all the fun," he said with a smirk.

"Can you be serious for one minute. Carlisle's right, this is too dangerous. I can't ask you to risk…" I explained, but he cut me off.

"Who's asking? Besides, I'm bored," he offered.

"Well, if your going, then so am I," Rosalie spoke up.

"Rose…" Emmett begged.

"No, I mean it. If you go… I'm going… it's final," she snapped.

"Me, too," Alice piped in, which made Jasper snap to attention.

"That goes for me, too," Jasper offered.

"Edward?" Esme questioned.

"Not, you too?" I said turning my head to her.

"I wouldn't let you go alone. I was serious, when I told you that I wouldn't allow you to do that to yourself, ever again. So if you feel the need to go, then so do I," she acclaimed.

"Well, then, I guess it's settled. We all go, next week as planned. I'm sorry for this, but I felt I couldn't make this decision for everyone. You had to make it for yourselves," Carlisle explained, his voice taking a softer tone.

"Thank you, everyone, but it's really not necessary for you all to come," I pleaded.

"It is necessary, you'll need all the help you can get," Jasper reminded me.

"Fine," I said reluctantly. "We'll need some instruction," I said, looking at Jasper.

"We're going to begin after the graduation party. It won't take long," Jasper explained.

Everyone returned to what they were doing before this discussion had begun. Facing the piano, I could no longer play. I moved away from the bench and continued up the stairs to my room. I flipped on the stereo and depositing myself on the couch attempting to obscure the thoughts that were now churning the house.

Everyone was on edge about our impending date with an army of newborns, and being completely honest, I had concerns myself. Imagining the loss of any one in my family was not something that pleased to me. Who would I be willing to sacrifice if necessary… no one… there was no choosing between them? Seeing each and every one of their faces, never seeing one of them again was unfathomable.

Knowing what plagued Carlisle –that he couldn't be responsible for losing one of us –taking the responsibility from him, I placed it on myself. If anything went wrong… I would be to blame… it would remain my fault. That was as it should be –it was my problem, brought upon by me –and I would take full responsibility for the outcome, no matter what it may be.

I would do everything in my power to protect them –when our time came to leave. Returning home with every single one of them, unharmed, became my number one goal. Accomplishing that would be difficult, prompting me to establish a plan. Any other result was unforgivable.

Lingering in my room, I was extremely uninterested in any offerings here. I needed to escape the doldrums my existence had become without her. I headed down the stairs and out the front door. Proceeding into the garage, Emmett and Rosalie were there fiddling with the jeep.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" I asked.

"She's putting on a new muffler, I ripped the other one off, on the side of the mountain. I'm watching. What are you doing?" Emmett said smirking.

"Nothing, just waiting for Bella to call." I answered.

"Are we all set to go next week?" Emmett asked enthusiastically.

"I suppose," I said with a little less enthusiasm.

"Well, I'm ready," he said, as a hiss slid out from under the jeep.

"I know Emmett, you're always ready," I retorted.

"You know, you shouldn't be taking this so lightly. There's a good possibility that one of us may not come back," Rose spoke up, and she was right.

"That's my fear, exactly why I want to go alone. I still think I should," I answered warily.

"Going alone is just stupid, Edward. I'm not suggesting that, but I think you were right. I think we should go and check it out first," she suggested.

"Who?" I asked.

"Us… the three of us. Our only problem is getting around Alice. I'm working on that," she explained, to my surprise.

"Me, too. But… Why?" Curiosity getting the best of me, she was never for this relationship. For her to want to go was… bizarre… making me wonder what she was up to.

"I'm not totally evil, Edward. I do see your pain," she explained.

Shocking both Emmett and I, we stood speechless.

"Men are so slow," she said as she slid under the jeep, again.

Both Emmett and I glared at each other. I shrugged with wide eyes; he shrugged back, eyes even wider. I was clueless as how to respond to that, so instead I went to my car.

"Where are you going?" Emmett asked as I was getting in.

"Just for a ride. I'll see you guys later."

Pulling out of the garage, spinning the car around, I headed down the driveway, stunned. Completely shocked over Rose's sudden revolution, making sense of it seemed impossible. Of all people, help from her was the last thing I expected. None of this made sense, she was against Bella and I from the start, prompting the question, had I lost the only ally I had left in this family.

Reassessing everything, with Rosalie's sudden change of heart, I wondered how wrong I was, not allowing Bella to join us. Rosalie was my last voice of reason, if she changed her opinion, perhaps I should alter my philosophy. Could I have been wrong? If Bella wanted this, shouldn't I want that for her, too? No, the answer was always, no. My desire was for her to have more, altering my decision would guarantee she couldn't –not wouldn't –couldn't have a chance.

Peering out the right side passenger window, about to make a turn when a sparkle rose from the seat catching my eye. There sat the phone I had given to Bella. Damn it, this would make it impossible for her to call when it was time.

Suddenly my phone began to vibrate and I opened it to glance at who it was. Of course, it was Bella, already at home.

"Bella?" I answered. Relief washed through me knowing she was home. "You left the phone… I'm sorry, did Jacob drive you home?"

"Yes," she grumbled. "Will you come and get me, please?"

Spinning the car around I immediately headed in the direction of her house. The tone of her voice was bitter, something wasn't right.

"I'm on my way," answering quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it's broken."

Fury flew through every part of me, making it difficult to continue this conversation. Pausing to calm myself, I needed to know what happened, I was anxious of the answer.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"I punched Jacob," she admitted.

"Good," I said bleakly. "Though I'm sorry you're hurt."

She laughed, which eased my tension a little.

"I wish I'd hurt him," she sighed in frustration. "I didn't do any damage at all."

"I can fix that," I offered.

"I was hoping you would say that."

What was this? This was wrong… she wouldn't speak this way. "That doesn't sound like you," I said, wary now. "What did he do?"

"He kissed me," she growled.

My foot hit the pedal to the floor, blood circulating my eyes, his blood flowing out as I…

"Is the dog still there?" I finally spoke again.

"Yes."

"I'm around the corner," I said, closing the phone.

Arriving at the front of her house, my tires squealed as I slammed on the brakes. The anger that blew out from every portion of me was unnerving, but I got out anyway, making my way to the front door, pleased to see that his car was still here. Many thoughts formed in my mind, many ways of disposing this dog that had pushed his luck too far today. Wanting to rip him apart for the pain he caused Bella, perhaps coming here was not the appropriate thing, at this moment. The front door opened as I approached… rather hoping it was him… instead it was Bella.

All fury withdrew from me the moment I saw her face. Concern now replaced anger as I extended my hands to her.

I pulled her hand to me gently. "Let me see." I murmured.

Examining her hand, she appeared to be accurate… it was broken.

"I think your right about the break," I said. "I'm proud of you. You must have put some force behind this."

"As much as I have," she sighed. "Not enough, apparently."

I kissed her hand gently. "I'll take care of it," I promised. "Jacob," I called.

As the fury began building again, thoughts swirling my mind listing the many ways to deal with the circumstance, remaining in control was not high on my list. Several scenarios were forming in my head, none of which were appropriate in our current surroundings. He'd push the limits beyond leniency, provoking me to teach this dog a lesson about manners.

"Now, now," Charlie cautioned, but even Charlie couldn't stop what was about to occur.

Charlie heaved himself off the sofa. Jacob arrived in the hall first, with Charlie not far behind him. Jacob's expression was alert and eager.

"I don't want any fighting, do you understand?" Charlie stared only at me while he spoke. "I can go put my badge on if that makes my request more official."

"That won't be necessary," I returned his glare while restraining myself.

"Why don't you arrest me, Dad?" Bella suggested. "I'm the one throwing punches."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to press charges, Jake?"

"No." Jacob grinned. "I'll take the trade any day."

Grimacing, he was testing my patience, and they were being stretched beyond capacity. Displaying his memory of the kiss he'd forced upon Bella, certain he believed I would be jealous, that wasn't the case. Clearly seeing she was an unwilling participant, his attempts to astonish me by showing me this –didn't work –it only infuriated me more.

"Dad, don't you have a baseball bat somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute."

Charlie glared at Bella. "Enough, Bella."

Having to put a stop to this, things had gotten way out of control. Before they developed even further, I wanted to get Bella out of here.

"Let's go have Carlisle look at your hand before you wind up in a jail cell," I said. Putting my arm around her, I pulled her toward the door.

"Fine," she said, leaning against me.

We were walking down the sidewalk when I heard Charlie whispering anxiously.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?"

"Give me a minute, Charlie," Jacob answered. "Don't worry, I'll be right back."

Jacob followed us, stopping to close the door in Charlie's face.

Ignoring him for the moment, I lead Bella to the car. Helping her inside, I shut the door, and then turned to face Jacob on the sidewalk. Being neither the time nor the place for such things to occur, the fact that he didn't appear to care, reminded me how immature he was.

Jacob's stance was casual, his arms folded across his chest. His thoughts were screaming at me… I ignored them. It didn't matter what was going on in his infantile mind, it held no interest for me. My only concern was Bella's safety, which he proved today, he could not guarantee.

"I'm not going to kill you now, because it would upset Bella."

"Humph," she grumbled.

I turned slightly to give her a quick smile. "It would bother you in the morning," I said, brushing my fingers across her cheek.

I turned back to Jacob. "But if you ever bring her back damaged again –and I don't care whose fault it is; I don't care if she merely trips, or if a meteor falls out of the sky and hits her in the head –if you return her to me in less than the perfect condition that I left her in, you will be running with three legs. Do you understand that, mongrel?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. His thoughts remained on fighting me, but that was never going to happen, not here. But one day when we were in better surroundings, when he and Bella were no longer friends, this would come back to haunt him and I would….

"Who's going back?" she muttered.

Ignoring her last comment, as it was not the truth, she was irritated now, but I knew better, that would pass. "And if you ever kiss her again, I will break your jaw for her," I promised.

"What if she wants me to?" Jacob drawled, arrogant.

"Hah!" Bella snorted.

"If that's what she wants, then I won't object," I shrugged, not concerned. "You might want to wait for her to say it, rather than trust your interpretation of body language –but it's your face."

Jacob grinned. _I'm not giving up… I'll still fight you for her… don't think it's over, bloodsucker_, He was shouting only for me.

"You wish," Bella grumbled from the car.

"Yes, he does," I murmured, smiling.

"Well, if you're done rummaging through my head," Jacob said with a thick edge of annoyance, "why don't you go take care of her hand?"

"One more thing," I said slowly. "I'll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I'll be fighting twice as hard as you will."

"Good," Jacob growled. "It's no fun beating someone who forfeits."

"She is mine," I growled, darkly. "I didn't say I would fight fair."

"Neither did I."

"Best of luck."

Jacob nodded. "Yes, may the best man win."

"That sounds about right… pup."

Jacob grimaced briefly, then composed his face and leaned around me to smile at Bella.

"I hope your hand feels better soon. I'm really sorry you're hurt."

She turned her face from him. Walking around the car, I jumped in and started it up.

"How do you feel?" I asked, pressing the gas pedal, peeling away from the curb.

"Irritated."

I chuckled. "I meant your hand."

She shrugged. "I've had worse."

"True," I agreed, frowning, realizing it was my fault she's had worse.

Driving around the house to the garage, Rosalie remained under Emmett's jeep. He was sitting beside her, acting as the jack. Emmett watched curiously as I helped Bella carefully out of the car. His eyes zeroed in on the hand she had cradled against her chest.

Emmett grinned. "Fall down again, Bella?"

She glared at him, furious as a kitten. "No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

Emmett blinked, and then burst into a roar of laughter.

As I led her past them, Rosalie spoke from under the jeep.

"Jasper's going to win the bet," she said smugly.

Emmett's laughter stopped at once as he studied Bella with appraising eyes.

"What bet?" she demanded, pausing.

Great! Not wanting to get involved in their childish games, I pushed her toward the house.

"Let's get you to Carlisle," I urged. Staring at Emmett, shaking my head as a warning.

"What bet?" she insisted as she turned on me.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I muttered, tightening my arm around her waist, pulling her toward the house, again.

"Edward…" she grumbled.

"It's infantile," I shrugged. "Emmett and Jasper like to gamble."

"Emmett will tell me," she tried to turn, but my arm became an iron grip around her.

I sighed. "They're betting on how many times you… slip up in the first year."

"Oh," she grimaced. "They have a bet about how many people I'll kill?"

"Yes," I admitted unwillingly. "Rosalie thinks your temper will turn the odds in Jasper's favor."

"Jasper's betting high," she said sounding exhilarated.

"It will make him feel better if you have a hard time adjusting. He's tired of being the weakest link."

"Sure. Of course, it will. I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it makes Jasper happy. Why not?" she was babbling. I knew that the pain from her hand was enticing her to speak of such things.

I squeezed her. "You don't need to worry about it now. In fact, you don't have to worry about it ever, if you don't want to," I threw that in any chance I could.

She groaned, and I knew she was in pain. Pulling her faster toward the house, we needed to take care of her hand.

Her hand was broken, but there wasn't any serious damage, just a tiny fissure in one knuckle. She didn't want a cast and Carlisle said she'd be fine in a brace, if she promised to keep it on. She promised, and I would make certain she was a woman of her word.

She was out of it, while Carlisle worked to fit a brace carefully to her hand. I believed she was in pain, but she kept reassuring me she wasn't. I was growing suspicious of her honesty at that point. Masking pain was one of her special skills and never allowing people to fuss over her was another.

If not the pain that bothered her, then what? There was definitely something else because she was very quiet as Carlisle worked on her. I wondered if it was the juvenile bet of Emmett and Jasper's. It probably never occurred to her that those were the consequences of becoming one of us. I had never explained things to her –until she heard Jasper's story –I was positive the first year never crossed her mind. Hearing about it, first hand, from someone who has been through it, must have been grueling. Knowing how difficult our chosen life-style still is for Jasper, after all this time, must weigh on her, perhaps providing her with much to consider.

Could it be that simple? Was revealing to her stories of a newborn, all it would take? Why hadn't I thought of that? Presuming that to be correct, then telling stories of dealing with newborns would become like family hour around here. If nothing else, then perhaps it would buy me some more time.

If I were wrong –which was the case most times when it came to Bella –then what could be disturbing her? Could it be the fight she had with Jacob today? Was she regretting it already, or had she changed her mind… about him? Perhaps, that kiss had more of an effect than I had presumed. Maybe, I read the situation wrong, could she be feeling guilty now? That was how she suddenly appeared.

What would I do if that were the case? Moreover, would she tell me the truth? I suppose, I could simply ask her, although I would hate to pry. Okay, so honestly, I didn't want to know, I much preferred to imagine her punching him in the face. Although, my true desire would to be the one doing the punching, at least there would be damage. The pleasure alone would be gratifying enough, that dog had it coming, there was no denying that.

As I've said before, there would come a day, when my opportunity would present itself to teach that dog a few manners, until that day came I would wait patiently. Bella would make up with him, again, and I would accept that graciously… waiting tolerantly for my day.

Looking at her as Carlisle was fixed her hand, something was off. She appeared bewildered, and her expression gave me no indication as to what was wrong. If I could hear a portion –some small little fragment –enough to relieve the overwhelming curiosity. Not knowing drove me mad with insanity.

Her secrets remained safely hidden away in the depths of her untouchable brain. Her reactions and thoughts still remained a mystery, even though I knew her face well, it would not help me at this moment. Her thoughts were well guarded, and the only way to know what they were, remained to ask. Unwilling to do that, I was certain the answer wouldn't please me.

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	16. Chapter 16

_**As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**_

16. CEREMONY

As graduation day –a day I had been dreading for a year –finally arrived, tension was building. There were many things happening outside of the actual ceremony. The scheduled party, for what seemed the entire town, was at my family home. Alice organized it, so it would no doubt go off without a hitch. Then there was our impending date with several newborns running wild in Seattle to contend with. My only consolation was that Carlisle would never commit to changing Bella until all issues were settled. Buying me, at the very least, a few more days to come up with another plan. A few more days to do what I hadn't been able to do all year… change her mind.

How would I do that? Change her mind… she was so stubborn and apparently wanted this desperately. Where did that leave me? Having no idea how to accomplish this, I had given it several attempts, but nothing seemed to work. My last resort would be Charlie. He would become my unknown accomplice. Somehow, I would have to manage to slip in her acceptance to Dartmouth today. That ought to do it, or if nothing else, it should buy me a couple more weeks.

This matter had to be handled delicately, bringing up college at the perfect time, purely by coincidence. Slipping it in should be easy, as everyone would be talking about where they were headed after graduating. Somewhere in all this talk, I would accidentally mention our acceptances to Dartmouth while Charlie was in hearing range, it really shouldn't be that difficult.

Alice had gone to Bella's to bring her a new outfit for the ceremony. Alice was always taking care of things such as that. She had bought me a new one too, laying it out on my bed, while I was in the shower. You had to admire her attention to detail, for I would have never thought of such things, but I suppose when you graduate, you ought to have a new outfit.

For Bella, this was a special occasion, it was her first time graduating, and if I had my way, it would be her last time. Unlike us, we've been through this too many times to count, being old hat to us now. Because it was her first time, I was planning to make it marvelous and had big plans for this evening.

Getting dressed for the ceremony that was to take place in a few short hours, I was suddenly struck by sadness. It felt as if I were graduating for the first time too. I had never felt this way and it was disturbing not knowing what was bringing these feeling on. Perhaps it was the fact that this was the first school in a long time where we almost fit in.

_Almost._

If not for Bella this would not be true, because of her, I had even managed a few conversations with people. That hadn't happen in many years. I didn't consider these people friends, but in my many years of existence, they were the closest I had come. It would be more difficult saying good-bye to these people, than it ever had been before. What an odd feeling to have.

Once I was dressed, I placed the yellow robe over my arm, and made my way down the stairs to the living room. Carlisle and Esme were gathered around the TV snapping me back to reality. I almost forgot everything that was happening around us, but they were my reminder. As I entered the room, the embarrassment began. I thought we were long past this stuff, but apparently, I was wrong as I was thinking about diving under the sofa, Esme began.

"Oh, Edward. You look so handsome. Stay there, I'm getting my camera."

"Esme, what's the point, you have a hundred pictures, exactly the same," I rolled my eyes.

"No… this time's different… you look different. Please… just stay," she pleaded.

"Fine," I said anxiously.

"She's right, Edward. This time's different. And you do look wonderful," Carlisle offered.

"Thanks," I said embarrassed.

Esme was back with her camera, snapping picture after picture.

"Esme… please that's enough," I shook her away.

"Alright… just one more… smile," she said, as she snapped the last one. "Are you certain you don't want us to come?" she asked.

"No, it's fine, I'm going with Bella and Charlie anyway. Don't worry about it," I answered.

She squeezed a hug out of me before I headed out the door. Proceeding to the garage, where I was certain the harassment would begin all over again, I wanted to make sure our plan was in place. This required me to talk to Rosalie and Emmett, who were out there at the moment.

"So is everything ready?" I asked as I approached.

Emmett whistled, as I knew he would. Although, it was Rosalie who caught me by surprise.

"Edward… you look so… handsome. Wow, Bella sure is lucky," she said, while Emmett and I stared at her bewildered.

"Excuse me…" Emmett said, breaking the silence.

"Oh, shut up. He does," she snapped at him, making me smile.

"Thanks, Rose," I said perplexed.

What was with my family? Had they lost their minds, they had seen me this way plenty of times before, the fuss they were making made no sense.

"Well?" I asked again.

"Well, what?" Emmett responded.

"Are we set… for our trip?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Oh, yeah… that," he replied.

"Yeah… that. Are we?" I asked again, not liking the response I'd gotten so far.

"We'll talk later. Go and enjoy yourself. We'll see when you get back," Rosalie finally gave me a straight answer.

"Alright… I'll see you guys later."

"See you," Emmett said.

Taking off through the forest, I was certain Alice was finished at Bella's and the time to leave was drawing near. Along the way, I was suddenly struck by that gloomy feeling again. Slowing to a walk, I wondered what was wrong with me now? Reflecting on the past year, it became quite apparent that my trips to this house were numbered, and I wasn't fond of that feeling. For the past year a half this trip had become a daily routine, what would happen now? Would I ever make this trip again? Sadden by the fact I may not, I didn't know how to react to such feelings, they had never happened to me before.

Arriving at Bella's house, I lingered in the forest looking up at her window. How I would miss this, standing here watching her through her window. Again, I had an overwhelming sense of loss spread through me. That was until I caught his scent… he was close by.

"Stalking again, bloodsucker?" Jacob asked.

"What's it to you?" I answered.

"It's my job to keep an eye on her," he said smugly.

"No, you're watching the house. I'll take care of her," I growled back.

"Big day… for her," he snarled.

"Yes… it is, now if you don't mind, I have somewhere better to be," I snapped.

"One thing, bloodsucker… I know your plan… just remember the treaty's still in place. One bite… it's all over," Jacob growled.

"I'm quite aware of that. If that's all…"

"That's it. For now."

"Fine. She's waiting… she'll be worried if I'm late. Have fun out here, dog."

Never missing an opportunity to dig the daggers in as far as, they could go.

His thoughts burned my mind, as I walked away. Knowing he was right and I couldn't allow him to know that. He was in deep pain over her transformation, wanting to do anything in his power to stop it. Funny to think we were on the same side, I never thought that would be possible, but here we were. Not that I would ever let him know that I felt the same way, I suppose I haven't totally lost my mind.

I wished I had a more civilized way to handle the dog, but there wasn't, we were mortal enemies and always would be. He was consumed with scenarios of keeping Bella human, none of which was useful to me –she would never accept any of them. They mostly included various ways of getting rid of me and with only a few, where I was permitted to survive, surprising enough. Hearing his painful thoughts almost had me feeling sympathy for him.

_Almost._

Making my way to the door, I was anticipating Bella's appearance as the door opened before I had a chance to knock. Bella stood looking more beautiful than ever. She was dressed in blue my favorite color on her making her skin creamy and perfect. Alice had outdone herself this time and I stood there speechless. However there was no time for speeches as Charlie made his way out the door to the police cruiser. Apparently, it was time to leave.

I rode in the back seat behind the fiberglass divider amused by Charlie's thoughts. He had always hoped to see me in this position and even though it was not for the reasons he wished, he enjoyed himself regardless. I was a little amused myself and felt like a criminal knowing what was in store for his daughter. I deserved to be exactly where I was, for the moment.

Bella seemed indifferent and I wasn't certain, but I didn't think it had anything to do with what was happening in the car. There appeared to be something else wrong with her, in fact, she seemed a million miles away. Perhaps, it was the impending events happening this evening because I knew how she loathed being the center of attention. Being in the position I was in now, was hardly the appropriate time to get to the bottom of this, it would have to wait.

Arriving at the school, Charlie opened my door, releasing me from his true desire. Walking over to Bella's door, I helped her out of the car.

"Are you all right?" I whispered.

"Nervous," she answered.

"You are so beautiful," I said, meaning to say more, but was interrupted by Charlie. He shrugged in between us, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"Are you excited?" he asked her.

"Not really," she admitted.

"Bella, this is a big deal. You're graduating from high school. It's the real world for you now. College. Living on your own… You're not my little girl anymore," Charlie chocked up a bit at the end.

The thought crossed my mind for a moment that this would be the perfect opportunity to bring up Dartmouth, but I couldn't, Bella didn't seem right. It wasn't something obvious, but I could tell she was anxious about something, perhaps it was the ceremony.

"Dad," she moaned. "Please don't get all weepy on me."

"Who's weepy?" he growled. "Now, why aren't you excited?"

"I don't know, Dad. I guess it hasn't hit yet or something."

"It's good that Alice is throwing this party. You need something to perk you up," he said.

"Sure. A party's exactly what I need."

What was going on here? She was hiding something, but I was unable to ask her at that moment. Needing a minute alone, I looked around for space, but there was none. How would I get her alone? It was too late. Everyone was heading into the gym for our procession line up.

"Up front, Mr. Cullen," I heard Mr. Varner bark at me.

Quickly kissing Bella I heard Jessica yelling for her. Damn it, I would have to wait until the ceremony was over. As I lined up where I was suppose to I noticed an absence in front of me. Where was Alice? She wouldn't miss this, where was she? I wondered as I looked around.

Watching Bella walk down the line to take her place, the constant babble going on in Jessica's head, made me appreciate that my last name started with a C instead of S, unfortunately for Bella, she had to stand behind her and listen to her ramble. She went on and on about the party tonight, college next year, and her plans for the rest of her life I'm sure, I stopped listening after a minute.

The ceremony dragged on and I was certain it would never end. We marched in as slow as snails. Eric's speech seemed to last for days. Principal Greene started calling names, one after another with a long pause in between. Ms. Cope was all thumbs as she tried to had the principal the right diploma, to hand to the right student. For the love of all that's holy… would this never end, I reflected impatiently, struggling to remain seated.

Grateful when they got to the C's for I would be able to stand. Out of nowhere Alice appeared, danced across the stage to take her diploma, a look of deep concentration on her face. What was that about? Using my extra-hearing, I read her mind, stunned to find she was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic. What was she doing? None of this made sense, this ceremony needed to end, I had to find out what was going on.

Receiving my diploma… I went back to my seat… not followed by Alice… she had left, again. The rest of the ceremony was a blur. I was too preoccupied by what had just happened. It would take Alice plenty to hide something from me, perhaps she found out about our little plan to head to Seattle. Maybe Emmett or Rosalie had slipped, but why would she be saying that? Wouldn't she just scowled me? None of this was making sense and I needed to get out of here to figure out what was going on.

Finally this nightmare of a ceremony ended, I rose from my seat and made my way outside to find Bella.

"Congratulations," I whispered in her ear, my arms winding around her waist.

"Um, thanks."

"You don't look like you're over the nerves yet," I noted.

"Not quite yet," she said skeptically, making wonder what she were hiding from me.

"What's left to worry about? The party? It won't be that horrible."

"You're probably right," she said as she was peering around.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Alice –where is she?"

"She ran out as soon as she had her diploma."

She thought about this for a moment, and it was beginning to make sense. They were in this together. The two of them were hiding something from me… something that would obviously worry me.

"Worrying about Alice?" she asked.

"Err…" I mumbled reluctant to answer.

"What was she thinking about, anyway? To keep you out, I mean."

My eyes flashed down to her face, narrowing in suspicion. "She was translating the Battle Hymn of the Republic into Arabic, actually. When she finished that, she moved on to Korean sigh language."

She laughed nervously. "I suppose that would keep her head busy enough."

"You know what she's hiding from me," I accused.

"Sure," she smiled a weak smile. "I'm the one who came up with it."

I waited, confused.

She looked around, looking for Charlie.

"Knowing Alice," she whispered in a rush, "she'll probably try to keep this from you until after the party. But since I'm all for the party being canceled –well, don't go berserk, regardless, okay? It's always better to know as much as possible. It has to help somehow?"

She had better get on with this, my patience were being stretch very thin.

"What are you talking about?"

"Just stay calm, okay?"

I nodded once, tightening my jaw.

In a hurry, she whispered her reasoning to me. "I think you're wrong about things coming at us from all sides. I think it's mostly coming at us from one side… and I think it's coming at me, really. It's all connected, it has to be. It's just one person who's messing with Alice's visions. The stranger in my room was a test, to see if someone could get around her. It's got to be the same one who keeps changing his mind, and the newborns, and stealing my clothes –all of it goes together. My scent is for them."

Listening intently, it was making sense, not that I wanted it to.

"But no one's coming for you, don't you see? This is good –Esme and Alice and Carlisle, no one wants to hurt them!"

My eyes were wide as panic spread threw me, she was right, everything she was saying was right. What would I do with this information?

She put her hand on my cheek. "Calm," she pleaded.

"Bella!" Charlie crowed, pushing his way past the close-packed families around us.

"Congratulations, baby!" He was still yelling, even though he was right at her ear. He wrapped his arms around her shuffling me off to the side as he did. I stood stunned, first that Alice and her would keep this from me, secondly, that she was the target. Knowing that made me more anxious. That changed everything. I needed to be home and wanted to get out of here, I had things to prepare for. Charlie was still speaking as I picked out a question directed at me.

"You coming, too, Edward?"

"No, thank you," I said stiffly, unable to rearrange my face, anger poured out.

"Do you have plans with your parents?" Charlie asked his voice barely audible to me.

"Yes. If you'll excuse me…"

Turning abruptly, I stalked away through the dwindling crowd. Moving a little too fast, I was too upset to keep up my charade, if anyone were watching they would notice right away that something was wrong. Luckily for me, everyone was too interested in commiserating this proud moment in their lives to notice. Needing to escape I ducked into the forest where I could be alone.

Running through the forest, the anger was building. How could they not tell me? Am I such a tyrant, they feel the need to hide these things from me? For Alice to go to all the trouble of keeping her head jumbled up so I couldn't hear anything was intolerable. Why would she do that?

Anger ripped through me as I thought of them two feeling the need to lie to me. Where had I gone wrong? Coming to a halt, suddenly wished I had take up that new hobby –the one with the sledgehammer –again. Fury spun threw me like a tornado and I needed somewhere to depose of it. Looking around I found exactly what I was looking for, I moved toward a small tree. Grabbing hold of it, I ripped it out the ground, throwing it across the forest smashing it against a bigger tree, splitting it in two. Subsiding some of the anger that had built up, it wasn't enough. Anger was still pouring out of me.

Standing still to gather my thoughts, cocking my head to the side, a rustling caught my attention. Whatever it was it was headed straight for me. Bracing myself, I was hoping it was our unwanted visitor, than this whole nightmare would be over. Unfortunately, it was an unwanted visitor, just the wrong kind. Catching a whiff of the predator coming my way, it was Jacob. What was he doing here? Now was not a good time to see him.

Within a few seconds his running came to halt, changing into a human a few feet out, he knew it was me. Walking out of the trees, he stood twenty feet away, arms folded across his chest, with an alarming expression on his face.

"You know, you could try to make my job easier," he announced.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snapped.

"Touchy, aren't we? You and Bella fighting?" he asked hopeful.

"None of your business, dog. Now once again, what are you doing here?"

"I'm doing my job, could you be any noisier? It sounded like an earthquake, watching this whole area would be easier if you would help. Like not taking me away from my duties to check on the temper tantrum you're having," he explained.

"Sorry… just relieving some tension. I forgot you were out here. It won't happen again," I said.

"It's okay. Bella has a way of doing that to us," he answered, in a friendly tone.

That puzzled me… Jacob was anything but friendly. Rummaging through his head –as he would phrase it –there was real sincerity there. I wondered what kind of game he was playing, I wasn't about to get involved in it as I had enough to worry about.

"Have you come across anything new?" I asked.

"No. Nothing yet," he said, sourly.

"I never did thank you for doing this, so thank you," I offered.

"Let's get one thing straight, I'm not doing this for you. Everything I do is for Bella, I know this disturbs you, but too bad. If I get my way, she'll remain the same old Bella forever. So there's no need to thank me," he said with an edge to his voice.

"I know how much you care… I'm sorry, I know how much you love her. I see it in your head. But know this, I am grateful for what you've done, no matter who it was for, it protects her and that is all I care about. Her safety is the most important thing. So once again, thank you, Jacob Black, I owe you, more than you can imagine. For as much as you love her, I love her more, you can't imagine that, but it's true," I said honestly.

Not certain why, but I felt the need to be honest with him. Perhaps, it was because he couldn't hide anything from me, I knew all there was to know about Jacob's feelings for Bella. Maybe, it was just a male thing, I wasn't sure, but I felt the need to declare my love for her to him, not that he could understand, or even want to, for that matter. To him I was now and would always be his enemy and would never be good enough for Bella.

My last statement was running through his mind, he was curious to know why I would share this information with him. He stood confused for a moment wondering if this was some kind of trick.

"If I wanted you dead… you'd be dead, Jacob. This isn't some kind of trick. I just wanted you to know where I stood," I explained.

"Stop that," he shouted.

"Sorry, it's unavoidable sometimes. Especially around an… enemy… such as yourself. Forgive me for being rude," I answered.

"So you never did tell me why you were out here beating up the defenseless forestry?" he asked.

"And I'm not about to," I answered politely.

"If this has anything thing to do with…" I cut him off.

"It doesn't… well, not directly."

"What does that mean? If you're hiding something, you might as well tell me, I'll find out sooner or later," he pushed the subject further.

Reluctantly I answered. "I was upset over a theory Bella came up with," I said.

"What theory?" he asked.

"She thinks our visitor is after her specifically. One motive… to kill… Bella," I said with a grim face.

"The red head?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," I unwillingly answered.

"Well, that helps a little bit, at least now we know what were looking for," he thought.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to get back," I said.

"Yeah, me too. Oh and stop taking your frustrations out on the poor forest," he added as he turned and ran off.

He was right, as I looked at the destruction I had caused. It was hardly fair of me to ruin two perfectly good trees because of my anger. Anger, that apparently disappeared in the last few minutes. How strange it was that Jacob, who usually caused the anger, would suddenly make it vanish. Could things get any stranger?

Having two people who were suppose to love me, lying to me, and one person who literally hated me, calming me down. Where had my life taken such a turn that this would happen? It was good the wolves knew what we were looking for, perhaps it would be that much easier to find it. That did make my anxiety lessen a little bit, having that many sets of eyes –and nose's for that matter –keeping watch.

It was time to return to Bella, now that my anger was completely gone. She would be finishing dinner with Charlie about now, and I wanted to be there to follow them to my house. Leaving her unprotected, even for the shortest period was unacceptable, she needed to be watched at all times. Now that we think they were after her, she could never be left alone again. Running off in the direction of the lodge, Charlie's favorite food establishment, I arrived in the forest near the parking lot, with a view of Charlie's police car.

Waiting patiently, Bella would be out very soon and as estimated, she moseyed out of the building alone. Leave it to her to be wandering around an empty parking lot alone, never realizing the danger she was in. Moving toward her, too quickly apparently, she gasped, as she turned and saw me.

Without a word, I pulled her tightly against my chest. One hand found her chin, pulling her face up so that I was able to press my lips to hers.

"How are you?" she asked as soon as I let her breathe.

"Not so great," I murmured. "But I've got a handle on myself. I'm sorry that I lost it back there."

"My fault. I should have waited to tell you."

"No," I disagreed. "This is something I needed to know. I can't believe I didn't see it!"

"You've got a lot on your mind."

"And you don't?"

Abruptly kissing her again, I couldn't get enough, but this would have to last me for a few minutes. "Charlie's on his way."

"I'll have him drop me at your house."

"I'll follow you there."

"That's not really necessary," she attempted to say, but I had already vanished.

Charlie started the cruiser and headed for my house. Following along beside them in the forest, I could have eves-dropped on their conversation, but honestly, I didn't want to hear the ramblings of Charlie putting me down. Instead, I hummed Bella's lullaby in my mind to tune out Charlie's thoughts and their conversation.

Arriving at the highway that led to my house, I thought they were about to miss the driveway, but leave it to Alice to make certain that no one missed the driveway. She'd put up lights on the trees out front, lighting up the entire entrance. Running ahead, I ducked behind the trees near my front door, waiting for Bella.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**_

Chapter 17-ALLIES

Bella watched Charlie pull down the driveway, then turned and marched up the stairs to my front door. Determined is how she appeared. Determined to get this evening over with.

"Bella?" I said softly, as I sprung up to the porch steps.

Pulling her into my arms at once, just as I had in the parking lot, kissing her again. Wanting to run with her, desiring to take her away from the dangers that were plaguing us, I knew I couldn't. My only choice was to keep her safely in my arms, never releasing her again. Kissing her vigorously, I was unable to refrain my desires and it felt as if this could be our last kiss.

Urgency rushed through my brain seizing full control, struggling was pointless; surrendering was all I could recognize. I wanted more, I wished for everything, before it was too late. Helpless, in my own selfish thoughts, the heat coming of her body, her scent swirling my mind, relinquishing –I'd shredded any reasoning that remained. I wanted Bella, in every possible way and as my hands touched her soft skin I could hear her heart pounding in her chest as electricity ran through every fiber of my being. This was right… it had to be… I rationalized to myself.

Fearing our time together was limited, failure hung over my head. Resistance was no longer part of my vocabulary –abstinence flew right out of my head. Any shreds of control I once had were lost to our impending doom. Nothing matter anymore, except for her –she was the only thing I'd ever wanted and there was no longer a reason not to have her –all of her. My lips moved in perfect synchronicity with hers, she'd been right all along… we fit together perfectly. Flames shot through my body as the heat raged on, leaving me a sense of urgency. Whisking her away to somewhere remote and private… became all my mind could think of. My hand began to move, wrapping my arms around her, grabbing her in my clutches…

Having utterly lost my mind, along with things progressing beyond the point of no return, it was Bella, who for the first time in this relationship, suddenly pulled away.

"Let's get this stupid party over with," she mumbled, not meeting my eyes.

She too, felt the urgency in me. Those simple words were enough to drain the fire inside of me, bringing me back to reality. Wanting to reassure her, needing her to comprehend that things were going to be fine, I couldn't have her worrying all night. I would be doing enough of that for the both of us, she should enjoy herself.

Putting my hands on either side of her face, I waited for her to look at me.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

She touched my lips with the fingers of her good hand. "I'm not worried about myself so much."

"Why am I not surprised by that?" I muttered to myself. Taking a deep breath, I smiled slightly. "Ready to celebrate?" I asked.

She groaned.

Holding the door open for her, my arm securely around her waist. She stood frozen for a minute, and then she slowly shook her head. Taking in the atmosphere inside the house, she was in shock at what Alice had done.

"Unbelievable."

I shrugged. "Alice will be Alice."

Alice had turned the interior of the house into a nightclub –the kind that only existed on TV. Alice never did anything half way… it was all or nothing with her.

"Edward!" Alice called from beside a gigantic speaker. "I need your advice." She gestured toward a towering stack of CDs. "Should we give them familiar and comforting? Or" –she gestured to a different pile- "educate their taste in music?"

"Keep it comfortable," I recommended. "You can only lead a horse to water."

Alice nodded seriously, and started throwing the educational CDs into a box. Bella glanced over at her.

"I think I'm underdressed."

"You're perfect," I disagreed.

"You'll do," Alice amended.

"Thanks." She sighed. "Do you really think people will come?" She asked with hope in her voice. Alice made a face at her.

"Everyone will come," I answered. "They're all dying to see the inside of the reclusive Cullen's mystery house."

"Fabulous," She moaned.

Refusing to let Bella go I dragged her with me as I hunted up Jasper and then Carlisle to tell them of my –well, Bella's latest theory. We discussed our attack on the army in Seattle, much to Bella's horror who tensed when he said the word –attack. Jasper was not pleased with where the numbers remained… they'd been unable to contact any others. Jasper didn't hide his desperation as he should in front of Bella, I was uncomfortable speaking of this with her here, but at this time, I had no other choice.

The doorbell rang.

Everyone fell into place at once. We had many years of practice displaying a perfectly normal family, snapping into the façade at a moments notice. A perfect smile, genuine and warm, replaced the stress on Carlisle's face. Alice turned the volume of the music up, and then danced to get the door.

It was a Suburban-load of Bella's friends, either too nervous or too intimidated to arrive on their own. Jessica was the first one in the door, with Mike right behind her. Tyler, Conner, Austin, Lee, Samantha… even Lauren trailing in last, her critical eyes alight with curiosity. They all were curious, as I suspected, and then overwhelmed as they took in the huge room decked out like a chic rave. The room wasn't empty, as my whole family had taken their places ready to put on their usual perfect human charade.

Thoughts circled the room with nothing surprising in them. Most were thinking about how wonderful the place looked, nothing what they had expected. The human mind was so simple, nothing original in any of these people. That is why I tuned out these people's thoughts years ago because they never held any interest for me. Tonight would be different having to listen more intently, to make certain, no one left here with any kind of suspicion.

Bella went to greet Jessica and Mike whose thoughts were swirling around how fabulous the place looked. Jessica was impressed and a little disappointed she wasn't Bella. Mike on the other hand was jealous, assuming all of this was the reason Bella preferred me to him. He assumed it was money that persuaded her to pick me over him. His thoughts were insulting, but this was a party, and I would remain on my best behavior. These were Bella's friends and that prompted me to be polite.

As more of Bella's friends showed up, one by one, she seemed to relax a little more. She appeared to be enjoying herself, which made me very happy. With all the stress we had been under, it was pleasant to see her enjoying herself. I would have to apologize to Alice later for making such a big deal about this party. Evidently, a party was exactly what we needed.

My family still intimidated some of the partygoers slightly. At one point I saw Emmett grin at Mike over the food table as the red lights gleamed off Emmett's teeth, Mike took an automatic step back. Normally, I would be appalled at Emmett for doing such a thing, but since it was Mike and I was unable to kill him at this party, I wouldn't say anything to Emmett.

The party was a clear success, despite the instinctive edginess caused by my family's presence –or perhaps that simply added a thrill to the atmosphere. The music was infectious, the lights almost hypnotic. From the way the food disappeared, that must have been good, too. The room was soon crowded, though never claustrophobic. The entire senior class seemed to be here, along with most of the juniors. Bodies swayed to the beat that rumbled under the soles of their feet, the party constantly on the edge of breaking into a dance.

Bella was wonderful circling the room, mingling and chatting for a minute with everyone and towing me beside her. She followed Alice around, seeming to taking pleasure in all the attention the two where getting. This party would be a night no one in Forks would soon forget. I remained at Bella's side holding her securely at the waist with one hand, pulling her closer to me, when someone's vicious thoughts were directed at her. I never have shared these thoughts with her because I saw no reason to upset her with people's private thoughts.

The night was going off without a hitch, until…

"Stay here," I murmured in her ear. Releasing her as my heart sank. "I'll be right back."

Passing through the crowd without making direct contact with anyone, too quickly for Bella to follow, or ask me why I was leaving. I headed to the kitchen doorway in search of Alice.

"Guess who just made a surprise visit?" I said.

"Who?" Alice paused for a moment until she caught the scent too. "Oh."

"Go stay with Bella, I have to leave," I said quickly.

"That's not necessary, I'm sure…" I didn't let her finish.

"Yes… it's easier for him. Don't worry, Alice. I won't be far. Go watch out for Bella, please."

"Fine," she replied.

I went out the back door to the yard. Emmett and Jasper were escaping all the fun that was happening inside.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Nothing, just taking a break. How's your night going?" Emmett asked.

"Nice… Pleasantly surprising."

We stood in silence for a moment. Then the doorbell rang out.

"Who's that?" Emmett asked.

"I'll give you one guess… take a whiff," I answered.

"Oh… Why are you out here?" he asked perplexed.

"Because it's easier for him, this way," I said.

"Why on earth would you want to make it easier for him? He's trying to take Bella from you," Emmett scowled.

"I know, but this is different. I owe him."

Jasper suddenly took off in the direction of the house. Stretching out my extra-hearing, I could hear the tension in Alice's voice. I was deliberating whether I should return or not when I was abruptly struck by one of Alice's visions; the decision has been made. I returned to the kitchen doorway and began searching for Alice, spotting her with Bella. I turn and headed back outside.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked Emmett who stood still as a statue, peering at me.

"Him and Esme went for a walk, that way," he pointed in the direction.

"Get Rose and meet me back here," I said to him quickly, than ran off in the direction he had pointed.

I was anxious to find them and was running at full speed, accidentally passing them. Stopping, I headed back.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked stress laced in his tone.

"Alice had a vision. We have to get back," I quickly stated.

We ran back to the yard where Rosalie and Emmett stood waiting for us.

"What's happening, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm not certain we're waiting for Alice. She has all the details."

Out of the house came Alice and Jasper… no Bella.

"He's still here?" I asked Alice.

"Yes, that's why I left her there. She'll be fine with him," she answered.

"Good, she doesn't need to hear this. Share with everyone what's happening," I asked quickly.

"There coming… to Forks, in search of Bella," she answered.

"How do you know it's her their after?" Carlisle asked.

"One's holding her red shirt," She told him.

"How many?" Emmett asked.

"It's hard to say, it keeps changing, a lot of fighting going on. Right now it stands at twenty-one, but the numbers are going down."

"Well, that's it. That's what we've been waiting for. Now what?" I asked.

"Twenty-one, that'll be tough. If we had a few more…" Jasper began, before I interrupted him.

"But we don't, so get over it. If you don't want to help… don't," I snapped.

"Edward, I was just telling you the truth," he said.

I put my hand to my face scrubbing over it roughly until I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I know… I'm sorry I snapped at you," I said.

"We'll go tonight, to the clearing and practice, I'm sure we'll be okay," Jasper offered.

I caught the tension suddenly rising from the living room. The atmosphere was disturbing.

"Alice, get back in there and get Bella, please," I pleaded.

Alice turned for the house.

"I have to grab something from upstairs, then I'll get her. Be back in a minute."

She took off for the house. I turned to Carlisle.

"This is it, finally this nightmare will be over," I said.

"Yeah, one way or another," Carlisle said solemnly.

Alice was with Bella now and I could see what was happening. It was taking all of my control to restrain myself and to remain where I was as Jacob was stopping the girls from leaving. That wolf was full of… had he not learned his lesson about forcing things upon Bella. I gripped the balcony post snapping it in two.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked, concern etched his features.

"He's stopping them from leaving. He wants to know what's happening," I said coldly.

"Perhaps, we should tell him. They have a right to know what's heading their way," Carlisle reasoned.

"That's fine by me, but if he doesn't release her soon, I'm not promising anything," I growled as Emmett came to stand next to me.

"Edward, there's too many children in there. Get a grip, he'd never hurt her with all those people around," Emmett said pleading with me.

Jasper quickly ran into the house. Continuing to listen what was taking place, I gave the others a play by play.

"Alice is with her… three wolves hovering over them. Alice is trying to get Bella out of there, saying she needs to talk to her. Jacob won't let them leave –he's blocking them with his arm, demanding to know what's going… Jasper's stepping in… calming the mood. Jacob is demanding to know what's happening. They are crowding Jasper and Alice and the tension is rising."

Remaining here required all of my strength. The thought of him restraining her was flooding my mind, making me insane with anger. How dare he stop her from leaving? Who did he think he was? Referring back to my earlier statement, that it was time to teach this dog some lessons, I began moving.

"Edward, don't!" Carlisle said stopping me.

"He's pushing his luck, I'm not going to stand here…"

"You must. Alice and Jasper's there, nothings going to happen," Carlisle said as he pressed his hand against my chest.

Jacob dropped his arm, relaxing a bit.

"It's all right, there settling down now. He's still demanding to know what's happening… Great, Alice is explaining," I said in a sour tone.

"Maybe that's not such a bad idea, Edward," Carlisle interjected. "Do we need to go in there?" he asked.

"No, things have settled down now," I answered, continuing to listen intently.

"She's giving them all the details now. Wait… what's this?" My listening intensified. "There making more plans now," My eyes watched the door.

"What plans, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Hang on a second," I continued to listen. "That's not a bad idea. That just may work."

"What, Edward? For heavens sakes… What may work?" Emmett shouted.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to miss anything," I turned to explain. "Okay, they're going to help," I said enthusiastically.

"Who… the wolves?" Emmett asked.

"Yes, they are going to meet us tonight in the clearing. They want to fight with us."

"Really?" Carlisle asked.

"Really," I began calculating. "This would be perfect. Six of them, along with the seven of us, there's no way we could lose," I went from distressed to excited in an instant. "This changes everything," I smiled.

Alice and Jasper returned.

"It's set… their going to meet us tonight at three in the clearing," Alice announced.

"That's very generous of them," Carlisle said.

"Well it's just a test, to see if they can work with us. If tonight goes well… then they'll help us," I quickly added.

"I can't see what could go wrong," Esme said.

"We'll see. I have to get back to Bella," I answered.

Returning to the house, and more importantly to Bella's side, I had been away too long. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, not aware of the three unwanted guests that had intruded on the party. Bella remained nervous, not liking the fact the wolves were going to fight with us. There was no way to ease her mind, at this time as this was an inappropriate subject for mixed company.

I remained by her side for the rest of the evening, even managing to squeeze in a few dances with her. The rest of the time was spent mingling with her friends, most of whom were truly going to miss her, only a few had come to see the inside of our house. Everyone was elated and the party was a success. Even Alice enjoyed herself, laughing and carrying on with many people.

Again, I would have to thank Alice later, and apologize, because this party was quite successful, after all. Having the wolves show up and agree to help with our other situation was enough in its self, but the partygoers also had a good time. All seemed particularly normal at the Cullen's household for once. Not that we were normal, but we sure could put on a show.

All there was left to do was to take Bella home and put her to bed. She had to be exhausted after this long and strenuous day. My only problem with taking her home was the concern she had for Jacob. She was against them fighting with us, but she didn't understand how powerful they could be. They were made for this type of situation. With the amount of us now, getting hurt wasn't even in my line of vision. We had way more experience –along with other gifts –for the newborns to realize what was happening.

By my estimation, we would be completely victorious. I could see no other outcome, now that we had the wolves on our side. For Bella to be concerned was just ridiculous, and I would do all I could to make her see that.

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**As always everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers**_

18. LESSONS

Driving Bella home there was only silence until we were half way there. I assumed that she would want to join us tonight, but I wish I could convince her stay home and rest instead. This was a touchy subject and I refused to bring it up knowing she would at some point.

"THAT HAD TO BE THE LONGEST PARTY IN THE HISTORY of the world," she complained.

"It's over now," I said, rubbing her arm.

We were at ease that with the wolves on our side, we really had no concerns as of now. Convincing Bella of this was not as easily achieved –she remained anxious. My family attempted to reassure her before we had departed. Alice had patted her head, as Jasper flooded the room with a peaceful feeling. Esme kissed her forehead and promised everything would be all right. Emmett laughed as usual asking why Bella was the only one allowed to fight with werewolves.

Jacob's solution had everyone more relaxed and after long weeks of stress, we were almost delighted. Confidence replaced doubt, ending the party on a true note of celebration. All with the exception of Bella, who remained concerned about the situation.

"You're taking me with you tonight."

"Bella, you're worn out."

"You think I could sleep?"

Wishing she would stay behind and sleep, this was difficult. What we were about to do had never been attempted. Working with the wolves instead of against them had never been a thought. As for my family, I had no concerns because we were well prepared to deal with a situation such as this. The wolves on the other hand, most of them were new to this life and it would be much more difficult for them to be around us.

Frowning, I had rather hoped she would sleep. "This is an experiment. I'm not sure if it will be possible for us all to… cooperate. I don't want you in the middle of that."

"If you won't take me, then I'll call Jacob."

Of course, she would, and worse then that, was the fact that he would take her. Stubborn –not the first time I had used that word when describing her –apparently not the last. Having no response to that, what could I say? 'No…' I wasn't her father, or her –as Jacob once said –her warden, if she wanted to get there, she would.

"See you upstairs," she muttered.

I parked my car around the corner instead of at home because I was incapable of leaving her alone for that long. Returning to her house, I scaled the wall and slipped through the window into her room. Taking my customary seat in her rocking chair, while she was in the bathroom continuing her nightly routine. She walked into her room as I watched frowning as she hung the outfit Alice had given her, in the closet.

"Come here," she said, taking my hand and pulling me to her bed.

Pushing me down on the bed, she curled up against my chest. Perhaps, she would fall asleep… she had to be fatigued. Leaving without her would be difficult and I began calculating was to accomplish this.

Tucking her quilt around her, I held her close.

"Please relax."

"Sure."

"This is going to work, Bella. I can feel it."

Her teeth locked together as she remained at odds. Reducing her nerves would be challenging because Bella's thinking patterns didn't work normally leaving her unable to see the true meaning behind Jacob's offer. Admitting the need for Jacob and the other wolves was very trying, but was now my truth. Without them, there simply wouldn't be enough of us, but with them, victory was in sight.

"Listen to me, Bella. This is going to be easy. The newborns will be completely taken by surprise. They'll have no more idea that werewolves even exist than you did… I've seen how they act in a group, the way Jasper remembers. I truly believe that the wolves' hunting techniques will work flawlessly against them. And with them divided and confused, there won't be enough for the rest of us to do. Someone may have to sit out," I teased.

"Piece of cake," she mumbled against my chest.

"Shhh," I said stroking her cheek. "You'll see. Don't worry now."

I began humming her lullaby hoping she would fall asleep, but of course, she refused, not trusting me to wake her when it was time to leave. I was growing more anxious, for this day had already been a long enough. Now, it appeared the night would be even longer.

Time flew quickly carrying with it our departure time. To my disappointment, she was still awake. I pulled us both up into a sitting position with the hope that she would remain, but when had she ever done what I preferred?

"Are you sure you don't want to stay and sleep?"

She gave me a sour look. Once again, proving my inability to read her mind.

Sighing, I scooped her up in my arms before jumping from her window completely appalled with my inability to convince her to stay home. Being the first time we would meet with all the wolves, along with the fact she had no sleep, left me feeling concerned by this evenings events. What if things didn't go as planned? If we were unable to co-operate, would she want to witness that? I sure didn't want her there if things went wrong, a poor outcome this evening would not be pleasant. Bella had no idea how terribly wrong things could turn out, and I was reluctant to have her witness such things.

Racing through the forest, with her on my back, I was exhilarated. Running, just the two of us, was something that had escaped me for a long time. When peace returned to our lives once again, we would have to do this more frequently. In fact, once our lives became our own again, there are many things I plan to do more frequently.

Arriving at the open field, my family was talking casually. Emmett's laugh echoed through the wide space. Setting Bella down, we walked hand in hand toward them.

Bringing her here, to the place that began this one year ago, was painful. On that carefree evening, when I foolishly exposed her to my world, starting the sequence of events leading to this night. Coming across James and his coven, setting in motion the catastrophe we were about to face. Had I learned my lesson? I believed not, for here I was, bringing her here again. Walking further into the clearing, memories came rushing back of all the mistakes I had made. And although, changing any of that was impossible, I would do everything in my power to restore her life.

"You know what I think?" she asked.

I laughed. "No."

She almost smiled.

"What do you think?"

"I think it's all connected. Not just the two, but all three."

"You've lost me."

"Three bad things have happened since you came back." She ticked them off on her fingers. "The newborns in Seattle. The stranger in my room. And –first of all- Victoria came to look for me."

Since I had returned, that point rang threw my head over and over. She was right… they were all connected… to my return. Intensifying my belief that this was entirely my fault.

"Why do you think so?" Was this right? Could I believe this?

"Because I agree with Jasper –the Volturi love their rules. They would probably do a better job anyway," she paused. "Remember when you were tracking Victoria last year?"

"Yes," I frowned. "I wasn't very good at it."

"Alice said you were in Texas. Did you follow her there?"

Pulling my eyebrows together, where was she going with this? "Yes. Hmm…"

Memories resurfaced of my time tracking Victoria. Having made herself a new friend, I was almost positive he was not the one who was in Bella's room. Doubt seeped in realizing I hadn't gotten close enough to them to be certain.

"See –she could have gotten the idea there. But she doesn't know what she's doing, so the newborns are all out of control."

Shaking my head, this couldn't be. "Only Aro knows exactly how Alice's visions work."

"Aro would know best, but wouldn't Tanya and Irina and the rest of your friends in Denali know enough? Laurent lived with them for so long. And if he was still friendly enough with Victoria to be doing favors for her, why wouldn't he also tell her everything he knew?"

I frowned thinking it couldn't be that simple, I would've figured that out. "It wasn't Victoria in your room."

"She can't make new friends? Think about it, Edward. If it is Victoria doing this in Seattle, she's made a lot of new friends. She's created them."

This couldn't be true, it couldn't be, how could I have missed this?

"Hmm," I finally said. "It's possible. I still think the Volturi are most likely… But your theory –there's something there. Victoria's personality. Your theory suits her personality perfectly. She's shown a remarkable gift for hers. In any case, this plot would put her in no danger at all from us, if she sits safely behind and lets the newborns wreak their havoc here. And maybe little danger from the Volturi, either. Perhaps she's counting on us to win, in the end, though certainly not without heavy casualties of our own. But no survivors from her little army to bear witness against her. In fact," I continued, thinking it through, "if there were survivors, I'd bet she'd be planning to destroy them herself… Hmm. Still, she'd have to have at least one friend who was a bit more mature. No fresh-made newborn left your father alive…"

Almost positive the boy in Texas was not the one in her room, perhaps I was wrong, which wouldn't be the first time since this nightmare began. He would be more mature and composed after this amount of time. Supposing it was possible, how had I missed this? "Definitely possible. Regardless, we've got to be prepared for anything until we know for sure. You're very perceptive today," I added. "It's impressive."

She sighed. "Maybe I'm just reacting to this place. It makes me feel like she's close by… like she sees me now."

Tensing my muscles retracted to that thought. "She'll never touch you, Bella," I said.

Searching the trees and surrounding area, hope crossed my face –desire was the more appropriate word. My lips pulled back over my teeth, my eyes flared with anticipation.

"Yet, what I wouldn't give to have her that close," I murmured. "Victoria, and anyone else who's ever thought of hurting you. To have the chance to end this myself. To finish it with my own hands this time."

Bella squeezed my hand tighter; I wished again that she had remained home. I didn't want her witnessing this part of us. If I had my way, she would never know this side existed. But since things weren't my way, and we were existing mostly in her world, I would respect her wishes –stubbornness was the word I'd use –and allow her to stay.

We were almost to my family. Alice was standing off to the side, looking anything but optimistic. Jasper was stretching his arms as if he were warming up to exercise, Alice watched with a pout. This was very difficult for Alice.

"Is something wrong with Alice?" Bella whispered.

I laughed. "The werewolves are on their way, so she can't see anything that will happen now. It makes her uncomfortable to be blind."

Looking up, Alice stuck her tongue out at me making me laugh, again.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett greeted. "Hey, Bella. Is he going to let you practice, too?"

I groaned at him. "Please, Emmett, don't give her any ideas."

"When will our guests arrive?" Carlisle asked.

Stretching out my extra-hearing I was able to estimate arrival time.

"A minute and a half. But I'm going to have to translate. They don't trust us enough to use their human forms."

Carlisle nodded. "This is hard for them. I'm grateful they're coming at all."

Bella stared at me as her eyes widened. "They're coming as wolves?"

I nodded, cautious of her reaction, then looked toward the forest as they were approaching. What an amazing sight, seeing this many of them all together in formation, if they weren't my enemy, I would have been impressed.

I paused… something was wrong… what was this? Magnificent… I turned toward Carlisle and the others.

"Prepare yourselves –they've been holding out on us," I warned enthusiastically.

"What do you mean?" Alice demanded.

"Shh," I cautioned, staring past her into the darkness.

Hiding that from me would have been quite the challenge and this was by far greater than anything I had anticipated. I could understand their hesitation in sharing such information with us, after all, we were their enemy, and that had to be even more challenging. Our informal circle suddenly widened out into a loose line with Jasper and Emmett at the spear point. I pressed forward next to Bella aching to join my brothers, but she tightened her hand around mine in warning.

"Damn," Emmett muttered under his breath. "Did you ever see anything like it?"

Esme and Rosalie exchanged a wide-eyed glance.

"What is it?" Bella whispered as quietly as she could. "I can't see."

"The pack has grown," I murmured into her ear.

Watching the wolves make their way out of the forest, extraordinary was the word that came to mind, and rather large. They came at us in formation, moving in perfect coordination, as if they were all attached, not one movement out of place. In addition to the original six, there were more, their numbers having grown to ten now.

"Fascinating," I murmured.

From the moment they came into sight their thoughts swirled the open field, emanating out of them, all at once. They all remained ambivalent about being here and were very uncomfortable, with the exception of Jacob who appeared excited to make an appearance. Everyone appeared to be having a difficult time being so close to us.

_Everyone remain calm and don't step out of line,_ Sam said.

_It's fine Sam… we'll be fine, _Jacob answered.

_We're here to listen and watch, nothing more, for now, _Sam reminded them.

_Fine, but remember what I told you,_ Jacob offered.

I knew that he had shared information about my gift with them and I felt guilty for listening, but there was no way to resist. Their minds were fascinating leaving me mesmerized.

Carlisle took a slow, deliberate step forward. It was a careful movement, designed to reassure.

"Welcome," he greeted the wolves.

"Thank you," I responded in a voice that came from Sam. "We will watch and listen, but no more. That is the most we can ask of our self-control."

"That is more than enough," Carlisle answered. "My son Jasper" –he gestured to where Jasper stood, tensed and ready- "has experience in this area. He will teach us how they fight, how they are to be defeated. I'm sure you can apply this to your own hunting style."

"They are different from you?" I asked for Sam.

Carlisle nodded. "They are all very new –only months old to this life. Children, in a way. They will have no skill or strategy, only brute strength. Tonight their numbers stand at twenty. Ten for us, ten for you –it shouldn't be difficult. The numbers may go down. The new ones fight amongst themselves."

A rumble passed down the shadowy line of wolves, a low growling mutter that somehow managed to sound enthusiastic. They were eager to help, having the ability to do more than was asked of them. Remaining fascinated by their way of communicating, there was so much happening in this pack, compelling was the word I would use to describe it. Their minds worked in a complicated way, when one member thought about something they all see it happening. It's like a movie playing, and for me it is ten vision's happening at once, making it impossible to ignore. Having so many issues affecting them, things happening within the pack besides being wolves, the dynamic was –as I've said before –fascinating.

"We are willing to take more than our share, if necessary," I translated.

Carlisle smiled. "We'll see how it plays out."

"Do you know when and how they'll arrive?"

"They'll come across the mountains in four days, in the late morning. As they approach, Alice will help us intercept their path."

"Thank you for the information. We will watch."

With a sighing sound, the wolves eyes sank closer to the ground one set at a time.

It was silent for two heartbeats, and then Jasper took a step into the empty space between the vampires and the wolves. Jasper threw a wary glance toward me, I nodded, and then Jasper turned his back to the werewolves. He sighed, clearly uncomfortable.

"Carlisle's right," Jasper spoke only to us; he seemed to be trying to ignore the audience behind him. "They'll fight like children. The two most important things you'll need to remember are, first, don't let them get their arms around you and, second, don't go for the obvious kill. That's all they'll be prepared for. As long as you come at them from the side and keep moving, they'll be too confused to respond effectively. Emmett?"

Emmett stepped out of the line with a huge smile.

Jasper backed toward the north end of the opening between the allied enemies. He waved Emmett forward.

"Okay, Emmett first. He's the best example of a newborn attack."

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "I'll try not to break anything," he muttered.

Jasper grinned. "What I meant is that Emmett relies on his strength. He's very straightforward about the attack. The newborns won't be trying anything subtle, either. Just go for the easy kill, Emmett."

Jasper backed up a few more paces, his body tensing.

"Okay, Emmett –try to catch me."

Emmett charged Jasper, but he became more like a ghost. Emmett moved quickly snarling like a bear, but Jasper was quicker. Anytime it seemed Emmett's big hands had him for sure, Emmett's fingers clenched around nothing but the air. Leaning forward, I was watching intently… fascinated. Then Emmett froze.

Jasper had him from behind, his teeth an inch from his throat.

Emmett cussed, displeased with himself.

There was a muttered rumble of appreciation from the watching wolves. Impressed by the speed and accuracy that Jasper displayed. It was good for them to show a little respect. Their view of us was not favorable when they arrived. With this demonstration they were gaining some perspective about us.

"Again," Emmett insisted, his smile gone.

"It's my turn," I protested. Bella's fingers tensed around mine.

"In a minute," Jasper grinned, stepping back. "I want to show Bella something first."

Bella watched with anxious eyes as he waved Alice forward.

"I know you worry about her," he explained to Bella as Alice danced blithely into the ring. "I want to show you why that's not necessary."

Jasper sank back into a crouch facing her. Alice stood motionlessly –looking tiny as a doll after Emmett –smiling to herself. Jasper shifted forward slinking to her left.

Alice closed her eyes.

Jasper stalked toward where Alice stood.

Jasper sprang, moving too quickly for Bella to see. Suddenly he was on the other side of Alice. She moved even quicker than him.

Jasper wheeled and launched himself at her again, only to land in a crouch behind her like the first time; all the while Alice stood smiling with her eyes closed.

She was moving very quickly. She took a small step forward at the exact second that Jasper's body flew through the spot where she had just been standing. She took another step, while Jasper's grasping hands whistled past, where her waist had been.

Jasper closed in, and Alice began to move faster. She was dancing like a choreographed dance spiraling, twisting, and curling in on herself. Jasper was her partner, lunging, reaching through her graceful patterns, and never touching her, every movement calculated. Finally, Alice laughed.

Out of nowhere she was perched on Jasper's back, her lips at his neck.

"Gotcha," she said, and kissed his throat.

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. "You truly are one frightening little monster."

The wolves muttered again, this time the sound was wry. Alice's speed was unexpected to them. But, Jasper was correct, she truly was lethal. Watching these demonstrations gave the wolves insight to how quick they were required to be. Furthermore, warning them of the dangers we represent, allowing the newborns to get too close would be hazardous to them.

Impressed they were, but they were also enthralled.

"It's good for them to learn some respect," I murmured, amused. Then I spoke louder. "My turn."

I squeezed Bella's hand before letting it go.

Alice came to take my place beside her. "Cool, huh?" she asked Bella smugly.

Gliding forward silently, I had my eyes on Jasper and began closing the gap. We moved effortlessly once again as if we were choreographed. Jasper had years of experience guiding him, relying on his instincts as much as possible, but his thoughts always gave him away a fraction of a second before he acted. I was slightly faster, but the moves Jasper used were unfamiliar to me. Coming at each other again and again, neither one able to gain the advantage, instinctive snarls erupted constantly.

Eventually, Carlisle cleared his throat.

Jasper laughed, taking a step back. Straightening up, I grinned at him. There was no way either one of use would back down leaving and unresolved fight.

"Back to work," Jasper consented. "We'll call it a draw."

Everyone took turns, Carlisle, then Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett again. He had slowed the fighting down to give instructions and give the wolves a chance to see what was happening.

"You see what I'm doing here?" he would ask. "Yes, just like that," he encouraged. "Concentrate on the sides. Don't forget where their target will be. Keep moving."

I returned to sit beside Bella, but watched and listened to what the others couldn't see. The dynamics of this pack was overwhelming and as much as I attempted to block them out, strictly out of respect, I couldn't. The information being passed through their minds was not easily ignored. It was rather difficult to hear everyone at once and individually at the same time.

Jacob had been concealing a lot of information, there was so much information being passed around. The problems plaguing this group were complex and Jacob was under direct orders to keep their secrets, leaving him unable to share any particulars, not that he would. When Sam gave an order, he was left with no choice but to follow it. Because there were so many other issues affecting this pack, I felt less than honorable for listening, but was much too captivated to stop.

Bella who was exhausted by this point leaned against my side closing her eyes.

"We're about finished," I whispered.

Jasper confirmed that, turning toward the wolves for the first time, his expression uncomfortable again. "We'll be doing this tomorrow. Please feel welcome to observe again."

"Yes," my voice answered in Sam's cool voice. "We'll be here."

Sam had another request before we adjourned for the evening. Sighing I patted Bella's arm stepping away from her. Turning to my family.

"The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents –so they don't make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them."

"Certainly," Carlisle said to Sam. "Whatever you need."

There was a gloomy, throaty grumble from the wolf pack as they all rose to their feet. This was very uncomfortable for all of them, but more so for the newest members. Sam was in the lead, of course, midnight black and rather large. I watched Bella's reaction to the wolves, but she remained unresponsive. I assumed that since she had already seen them before, they were no longer frightening to her. Sam sniffed at Carlisle, seeming to wince slightly as he did. Then he moved on to Jasper. A low whine broke through the sandy wolf's control when Sam's advance left him isolated between Carlisle and Jasper. One by one, they all took a turn at us and I would have to admit, I was impressed by their self-control. I would not have thought it would be possible for us all to be in the same vicinity for such an expanded amount of time. That left me with a sense of success that was undeniable.

Bella stared at the second wolf –of course –it was Jacob. He felt her gaze and looked up at her with his familiar eyes. She stared back with a look of wonder and fascination. His muzzle fell open, pulling back over his teeth, and his tongue hung out to the side in a grin. As much as I loathed him and attempted to disregard him, he was extremely difficult to ignore. What made matters worse was that he was helping us out. Bella giggled, to my dismay. I wanted her to be terrified her, I wanted her to turn away from the monster he was, but she wouldn't, her reaction came as no surprise because I already held the knowledge that she had no sense of self-preservation. It would not be that easy for her to relinquish him from her life. However, one day I knew she would have to, and I would wait patiently for that day.

Jacob's grin widened over his teeth. He left his place in line, ignoring the eyes of his pack as they followed him. He trotted past Alice and I to stand not two feet away from Bella. He stopped there, his gaze flickering briefly toward me.

I stood motionless with my eyes still assessing Bella's reaction. Here she was, face to face with a ghastly monster such as this, and nothing, not a hint of fear, no sense of self-preservation. Always lacking this particular sense, danger magnet she would always remain. It was no wonder she needed protecting all the time, what with her internal alarms not working.

To remain here and allow this to happen, I planted my feet firmly on the ground and refused to move, for if I did…

The pain of watching this moment was excruciating. It was one thing to allow her to go and see him in La Push, but to stand here and see it happening in front of me was a holy other thing. How would she expect me to do nothing? Him being so close to her terrified me. One foolish move on his part could… well, I'd rather not think about what could happen.

Jacob crouched down on his front legs and dropped his head so that his face was no higher than hers. He stared at her as he measured her response, the same as I was.

"Jacob," she breathed.

He rumbled deep in his chest.

She reached her hand out, her fingers trembling slightly, and touched the fur on the side of his face.

He was getting on my nerves with his internal thoughts.

_I told you she wouldn't be afraid,_ He'd said at one point. _I told you she'd still like me, bloodsucker. You worry too much._

She stepped a little to close for comfort, making me quite nervous about how the other wolves would react to such a scene. For Jacob it was one thing, he had been around my family and I, but for the rest of this group it was challenging. Bella stroked the side of his neck and without warning Jacob suddenly licked her face from chin to hairline.

This was beyond frustrating as I had once promised to break his jaw if he every kissed her again without permission, but in this moment there was nothing I could do. His thoughts told me everything I needed to know.

_Go ahead… break my jaw. I dare you,_ He said smugly, knowing I wouldn't do anything at this time.

"Ew! Gross, Jake!" she complained, jumping back and smacking him. He dodged out of the way, and barked with laughter.

Holding myself here was becoming exceedingly grueling. His games were infantile and my temper was mounting. Having plenty of self-control, this was strenuous, knowing he was doing everything in his power to undermine that self-control. He would love it if a fight broke out and I revealed my true colors –as he referred to it –he wanted Bella to see the authentic me, the way he saw me. I'll give him his dues… this was beyond deceit.

She wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt, unable to keep from laughing with him. Everyone was watching in shock at this very unexpected behavior. My family was disgusted and the pack overwhelmed.

I on the other hand, was on the edge, clearly disappointed with her reaction. She refused to see him for who he really was, but I could. This was nothing but revenge. Revenge for the actions I took at her house. He wanted to show me up, make certain I knew he could do anything and get away with it. And at this moment, he was right, for I owed him, and he was going to take full advantage of that.

But, what he ought to remember is that no matter what happened here tonight, there would come a day not long from now, when this night would come back to haunt him. Having a very long memory, there would come a day when he and I would meet under very different circumstances. And when that day came I would remember all of these insignificant moments and…

The other wolves were backing away now, their eyes remaining on us as they departed. Jacob remained by Bella's side, watching them go as they disappeared into the forest. Only two hesitated by the trees, watching Jacob, their postures radiating anxiety.

I sighed, and –ignoring Jacob –went to stand on Bella's other side, taking her hand.

"Ready to go?" I asked her.

_What are you going to do with her during this fight? _Jacob asked me.

"I've not quite figured out all the details yet," I said.

Jacob grumbled sullenly. _Bring her here we'll hide her near by. She'll be safe here,_ he answered.

"It's more complicated than that," I said. "Don't concern yourself; I'll make sure it's safe."

"What are you talking about?" Bella demanded.

"Just discussing strategy," I said.

Jacob's head swiveled back and forth, looking at our faces. Then suddenly, he bolted for the forest. Leave it to Jacob to concern himself with things that were none of his business. He had not learned his lesson about upsetting Bella yet. I did not want to have this conversation in front of Bella because I was unwilling to worry her needlessly. Unfortunately, he would be back, and she would have to know.

"Wait," Bella called, one hand stretching out to reach for him. "Why did he leave?" she asked, sounding hurt.

"He's coming back," I said, sighing with aggravation. "He wants to be able to talk for himself."

Unfortunately, time passed too quickly and he was back before I even had a chance to breath.

"Okay, bloodsucker," Jacob said when he was a few feet away for us. "What's so complicated about it?"

"I have to consider every possibility," I said, unruffled. "What if someone gets by you?"

Jacob scoffed at the idea. "Okay, so leave her on the reservation. We're making Collin and Brady stay behind anyway. She'll be safe there."

She scowled. "Are you talking about me?"

"I just want to know what he plans to do with you during the fight," Jacob explained.

"Do with me?"

"You can't stay in Forks, Bella," I said. "They know where to look for you there. What if someone slipped by us?"

The blood drained from her face. "Charlie?" she gasped.

"He'll be with Billy," Jacob assured her quickly. "If my dad has to commit a murder to get him there, he'll do it. Probably it won't take that much. It's this Saturday, right? There's a game."

"This Saturday?" she asked. "Well crap! There goes your graduation present."

I laughed. "It's the thought that counts," I reminded her. "You can give the tickets to someone else."

"Angela and Ben," she suddenly said. "At least that will get them out of town."

Exhaustion had finally had its way with her and she was randomly babbling.

I touched her cheek. "You can't evacuate everyone," I said in a gentle voice. "Hiding you is just a precaution. I told you –we'll have no problem now. There won't be enough of them to keep us entertained."

"But what about keeping her in La Push?" Jacob interjected, impatient.

"She's been back and forth too much," I said. "She's left trails all over the place. Alice only sees very young vampires coming on the hunt, but obviously someone created them. There is someone more experienced behind this. Whoever he," I paused to look at Bella- "or she is, this could all be a distraction. Alice will see if he decides to look himself, but we could be very busy at the time that decision is made. Maybe someone is counting on that. I can't leave her somewhere she's been frequently. She has to be hard to find, just in case. It's a very long shot, but I'm not taking chances."

Bella stared at me as I explained, lines creasing her forehead. I patted her arm.

"Just being overcautious," I promised.

Jacob gestured to the deep forest east of us, to the vast expanse of the Olympic Mountains.

"So hide her here," he suggested. "There's a million possibilities –places either one of us could be in just a few minutes if there's a need."

I shook my head. "Her scent is too strong, and combined with mine, especially distinct. Even if I carried her, it would leave a trail. Our trace is all over the range, but in conjunction with Bella's scent, it would catch their attention. We're not sure exactly which path they'll take, because they don't know yet. If they crossed her scent before they found us…"

Both of us grimaced at the same time, our eyebrows pulling together.

"You see the difficulties."

"There has to be a way to make it work," Jacob muttered. He glared toward the forest.

Bella swayed on her feet. I put my arm around her waist, pulling her closer and supporting her weight.

"I need to get you home –you're exhausted. And Charlie will be waking up soon…"

"Wait a sec," Jacob said, wheeling back to us, his eyes bright. "My scent disgusts you, right?"

Seeing his plan in his mind… he had something there, it may just work.

"Hmm, not bad," I said. "It's possible," I turned toward my family. "Jasper?" I called.

Jasper looked up curiously. He walked over with Alice a half step behind. Her face was frustrated again. When Jacob was around she felt anguished not having her sight.

"Okay, Jacob," I nodded at him.

Jacob turned toward Bella stretching his arms out towards her.

I took a deep breath restraining myself and going against every instinct I had.

"We're going to see if I can confuse the scent enough to hide your trail," Jacob explained.

She stared at his open arms suspiciously.

"You're going to have to let him carry you, Bella," I told her.

Bella frowned.

Jacob rolled his eyes, impatient, and reached down to yank her up into his arms.

"Don't be such a baby," he muttered.

Two sets of eyes glared at me, wondering what my reaction would be. Honestly, my chest was aching –the pain shot through me like a bolt of lighting. Having to rely on my enemy in such ways was maddening. However, making her safe trumped everything else, what I felt was nothing in comparison to her safety, leaving me complacent to go along. I turned to explain the plan to Jasper.

"Bella's scent is so much more potent to me –I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried."

I stood there devastated as Jacob took off with her in his arms. How had I come to this? When had I started relying on my enemy to keep my world safe? For me to need him in such a way went against every believe I had. Where had I gone so wrong that my existence now relied on a werewolf?

The truth was I was jealous –wasn't it me who was suppose to be protecting her? Wasn't it my duty to make certain she was safe? Instead, I'd brought all this danger to her world. If it was not for me, she wouldn't need protection from these creatures and there would be no need for Jacob… heck he wouldn't even be a werewolf. Making a mess of everyone's life appeared to be a special talent of mine. For that reason, I would graciously accept any help that brought peace to their worlds again, repressing any feelings I may have.

Standing here, alone in this open field, waiting for him to return her to me, I wondered if he would. Putting the shoe on the other foot, I'm not certain I would return, if I were he. Nevertheless, after a few very painful minutes, he did return and after spotting me he carried her over to where I stood.

"You can put me down now," she said to him irritated.

"I don't want to take a chance of messing up the experiment," his walked slowed.

"You are so annoying," she muttered.

"Thanks."

Out of nowhere, Jasper and Alice stood beside me. Jacob took one more step, and then set Bella down a half a dozen feet away from me. Without a glance back, she walked to my side and took my hand.

"Well?" she asked.

"As long as you don't touch anything, Bella, I can't imagine someone sticking their nose close enough to that trail to catch your scent," Jasper said, grimacing. "It was almost completely obscured."

"A definite success," Alice agreed, wrinkling her nose.

"And it gave me an idea."

"Which will work," Alice added confidently.

Jasper's idea flashed in my mind, and it really was a good one.

"Clever," I agreed.

"How do you stand that?" Jacob muttered to Bella.

I ignored Jacob because there really was no difference between what I did and what went on between he and the other wolves. When in the wolf form he could hear all the other wolves, privacy was a lost cause among them and he should be used to that by now. Turning to Bella, I explained Jasper's idea.

"We're –well, you're –going to leave a false trail to the clearing, Bella. The newborns are hunting, your scent will excite them, and they'll come exactly the way we want them to without being careful about it. Alice can already see that this will work. When they catch our scent, they'll spit up and try to come at us from two sides. Half will go through the forest, where her vision suddenly disappears…"

"Yes!" Jacob hissed.

I smiled at him, a smile of true comradeship.

Our moment was quickly interrupted by Jasper's mind getting away from him.

"Not a chance," I said disgusted. How could he even entertain such thoughts?

"I know, I know," Jasper said quickly. "I didn't even consider it, not really."

He really wasn't, he was just considering other alternatives, and it was unfair of me to be in his head. Normally, I wouldn't have said anything, but we were not in normal circumstances, and I needed to make myself perfectly clear. Apparently, so did Alice as she stepped on his foot, feeling left out.

"If Bella was actually there in the clearing," Jasper explained to Alice, "it would drive them insane. They wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything but her. It would make picking them off truly easy…"

"Of course it's too dangerous for her. It was just an errant thought," he quickly renounced. Although, he glanced at Bella from the corner of his eye, making me uncomfortable.

"No," I said, my voice radiating finality.

"You're right," Jasper he replied as took Alice's hand and started back to the others. "Best two out of three?" he asked her as they went to practice again.

Jacob stared after him in disgust.

_Creepy little dude, isn't he?_ He thought.

"Jasper looks at things from a military perspective," I defended him. "He looks at all the options –it's thoroughness, not callousness."

Jacob snorted.

_Still to suggest that, putting her in danger. Isn't that why we're here? To get her out of danger,_ he added.

Jacob moved closer, standing only three feet away from me. It impressed me the control he seemed to have acquired at such a young age. Although, after hearing some of the things that were secret to the pack, I almost understood where the control came from. Still, remaining this close to me created thick tension in the air… it was automatic, on both parts. Natural instinct to us both, I have had several more years practice with this sort of thing, but he was doing well on his part, too.

"I'll bring her here Friday afternoon to lay the false trial. You can meet us afterward, and carry her to a place I know. Completely out of the way, and easily defensible, not that it will come to that. I'll take another route there."

"And then what? Leave her with a cell phone?" Jacob asked critically.

"You have a better idea?"

Jacob was suddenly smug… yes, that's good, I thought.

"Actually, I do," He suggested, although I was way ahead of him.

"Oh… Again, dog, not bad at all."

Jacob turned to Bella determined to keep her in the conversation. "We tried to talk Seth into staying behind with the younger two. He's still too young, but he's stubborn and he's resisting. So I thought of a new assignment for him –cell phone."

She attempted to look like it made sense to her, but it didn't.

"As long as Seth Clearwater is his wolf form, he'll be connected to the pack," I said. "Distance isn't a problem?" I added, turning to Jacob. Here was some information that held some interest for me, how far the pack could hear.

"Nope."

The answer sat in Jacob's head, and was very extraordinary.

"Three hundred miles?" I asked. "That's impressive."

"That's the farthest we've ever gone to experiment," he spoke to Bella. "Still clear as a bell."

Bella didn't say anything. She remained with no expression on her face to warn me what she was thinking.

"It's a good idea," I replied reluctant to admit that this dog could come up with a good plan. "I'll feel better with Seth there, even without the instantaneous communication. I don't know if I'd be able to leave Bella there alone. To think it's come to this, though! Trusting werewolves!"

"Fighting with vampires instead of against them!" Jacob mirrored my tone of disgust.

"Well, you still get to fight against some of them," I said.

Jacob smiled. "That's the reason we're here."

I carried Bella home instead of having her ride on my back because she was too exhausted and I wasn't certain she could hang on. I was right –for once – and she fell asleep along the way. I reached the house and scaled the wall, placing her lightly in her bed. Removing her shoes, I tucked the blanket around her and laid down next to her.

It was a rough sleep having arrived at Bella's house early in the morning. She tossed, turned and spoke quite frequently. Most of her talk was gibberish, but I did understand a few things. Things such as her calling Jasper's name, sounding as if she were lost somewhere, but the most disturbing talk was of someone called the third wife. I had no idea who she was referring to and curiosity was getting the better of me, driving me mad not knowing what she was going on about.

I watched her sleep as anxiety spread through me. She was very concerned about what was going to happen and there was no convincing her that everyone would be all right. How would I protect her if she refused to be protected? Always so stubborn, but this was beyond stubbornness, this was insanity. She was willing to risk her life to save ours, which was ludicrous, and I refused to stand for it. If that required me to run her three hundred miles away… I would.

I continued to watch her sleep as she stirred so much she almost woke herself a couple of times. They were all false alarms, which pleased me because she required more rest.

_**Sorry for the long delay, hopefully there won't be anymore before the book is finished. Thanks for sticking around, it's appreciated.**_


	19. Chapter 19

**Sorry for the unbelievably long wait. I really have no excuses accept to say life sometimes gets in the way.**

19. ULTIMATUM

The light shone brighter and brighter, as the morning quickly swirled into afternoon. I was perfectly capable of leaving and returning before she woke, but my fear of leaving her alone kept me here. She would never be alone again, or at least until this problem was completely resolved.

With her sleeping the day away, I was left with plenty of time to analyze all that was occurring. If I was completely honest with myself, my time had finally arrived to leave. After restoring the lives I had altered, my next move ought to be leaving, and never return. My desire was for her world to be safe and once that was accomplished, leaving would be the right thing to do… but when had I ever done the right thing?

Leave… why could I not make myself see that leaving was the answer? Even now such a monster I remain, knowing the problem, knowing how to repair it… I refused to accept responsibility and leave. What would it take to get me to do the right thing?

Being next to her, watching her face, I knew I could never leave… I would never have the strength to make myself go. It was useless to even think such thoughts –there remained nothing that could ever make me go.

Late in the afternoon, she finally began stirring.

"Edward?" she mumbled, as her hands were searching for me.

"Are you really awake this time?" I murmured.

"Mmm," she sighed. "Have there been a lot of false alarms?"

"You've been very restless –talking all day."

"All day?" she blinked, while looking out the window.

"You had a long night," I said reassuring her. "You'd earned a day in bed."

She sat up. "Wow."

"Hungry?" I guessed. "Do you want breakfast in bed?"

"I'll get it," she groaned, as she stretched. "I need to get up and move around."

Holding her hand firmly as we walked to the kitchen, she didn't appeared well, slightly off balance and I feared she would fall.

She went to work arranging breakfast, while I sat at the table watching.

"Ugh, I'm a mess," she shrieked.

"It was a long night," I repeated. "You should have stayed here and slept."

"Right! And missed everything. You know, you need to start accepting the fact that I'm part of the family now."

I smiled. "I could probably get used to that idea."

If she were a true part of my family she would have to become my wife. That would be an image I could live with, one that was very appealing to me. So far, she had refused to do me the honors of marrying me, but it was only a matter of time before I convinced her.

She sat down with her breakfast, and I moved next to her. Where her arm was normally bare there was a bracelet. Gazing at it for a moment, I spotted the small charm that now resided there.

"May I? I asked, reaching for the charm.

"Um, sure."

Moving my hand under the charm, I balanced it in my palm. A tiny wooden wolf, I should be surprised, but I wasn't. He was good, better than I gave him credit for. That was an interesting move on his part. He said he wouldn't fight fair and he was living up to his word.

The double standard that Bella was showing was quite apparent, and unjust. Allowing Jacob to give her presents and refusing anything from me was unfair. It was time to appeal to her better judgment and make my point clear on that situation.

"Jacob Black can give you presents," I stated the obvious.

She thought about this for a moment.

"You've given me presents," she reminded me. "You know I like the homemade kind."

Giving that some thought, I was struck by a brilliant idea. I had a small item, one that could be construed as a hand-me-down. I suppose it is all how you look at it. "How about hand-me-downs? Are those acceptable?"

That surprised her. "What do you mean?"

"This bracelet," my fingers traced a circle around her wrist. "You'll be wearing this a lot?"

She shrugged.

"Because you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings," I suggested, selfishly.

"Sure, I guess so."

"Don't you think it's fair, then," I asked, looking down at her hand, turning it palm up, and running my finger along the vein in her wrist. "If I have a little representation?"

"Representation?" she repeated.

"A charm –something to keep me on your mind."

She frowned. "You're in every thought I have. I don't need reminders."

She wasn't getting the point, and I refused to give in.

"If I gave you something, would you wear it?" I pressed.

"A hand-me-down?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yes, something I've had for a while," I smiled.

Okay… that wasn't exactly truthful… but I had acquired it while ago, and now I would hand it down to her –that should count. I rather hoped she would wear it on her finger, but I suppose this would satisfy me for now.

"Whatever makes you happy?"

"Have you noticed the inequality?" I asked. "Because I certainly have."

"What inequality?"

Frustrated I answered. "Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me. I would have loved to get you a graduation present, but I didn't. I knew it would have upset you more than if anyone else did. That's utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?"

She didn't even hesitate before answering. "Easy," she shrugged. "You're more important than everyone else. And you've given me you. That's already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance."

The girl was insane, and needed very good doctors. But, she was my girl, and I would love her always, silly thoughts and all. "The way you regard me is ludicrous."

She continued to eat as if nothing was said. She placed far too much value on a person who hadn't earned it, although, I knew one day, I would.

My phone rang, interrupting this conversation. Looking at the number before I put it to my ear. "What is it, Alice?"

Alice went through her vision piecing together some of the things Bella was dreaming about last night, making sense of a few things that hadn't. She saw Bella lost in the forest, stumbling around attempting to find us the day of the fight.

"I sort of guessed as much," I told Alice, staring at Bella anxiety clearly crossing my face. "She was talking in her sleep."

Bella looked surprised, almost sick.

"I'll take care of it," I promised. Her dreams last night told me what Alice had to say, but she had filled in some of the gaps for me. What would I do with her? She was persistent. Glaring at Bella as I shut my phone. "Is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"

She thought her answer through carefully. Patiently, I waited for her response, glaring at her –she couldn't even bring herself to look at me.

"I like Jasper's idea," she finally said.

I groaned, not this again. Had I not made myself perfectly clear? Putting her in the path of danger was never going to happen. There was no way she would be in the clearing when we faced these creatures.

"I want to help. I have to do something," she insisted.

"It wouldn't help to have you in danger."

"Jasper thinks it would. This is his area of expertise."

My mind immediately considered ways to thank Jasper for his suggestion. He should've known better than to suggest such things in front of Bella. The last thing I needed was her having any more ideas than she could already produce on her own.

"You can't keep me away," she threatened. "I'm not going to hide out in the forest while you all take risks for me."

Her little threats were amusing. "Alice doesn't see you in the clearing, Bella. She sees you stumbling around lost in the woods. You won't be able to find us; you'll just make it more time consuming for me to find you afterward."

"That's because Alice didn't factor in Seth Clearwater," she said, slyly. "If she had, of course, she wouldn't have been able to see anything at all. But it sounds like Seth wants to be there as much as I do. It shouldn't be too hard to persuade him to show me the way."

Angered by her thoughts, angered by her lack of trust, knowing what was best for her. I was furious taking a deep breath I composed myself. "That might have worked… if you hadn't told me. Now I'll just ask Sam to give Seth certain orders. Much as he might want to, Seth won't be able to ignore that kind of injunction."

She had a smug smile. "But why would Sam give those orders? If I tell him how it would help for me to be there? I'll bet Sam would rather do me a favor than you."

Relentless, that's what she was. A few other words came to mind. Perhaps, she was correct about Sam, and she maybe be relentless, but I was ruthless, and would always get my way. "Maybe you're right. But I'm sure Jacob would be only too eager to give those same orders."

She frowned. "Jacob?"

"Jacob is second in command. Did he never tell you that? His orders have to be followed, too," I smiled, checkmate.

She was bewildered… having no idea of the information I'd just shared. Really, Jacob wasn't able to tell her anything –against wolf rules. She had no response at all.

"I got a fascinating look into the pack's mind last night. It was better than a soap opera. I had no idea how complex the dynamic is with such a large pack. The pull of the individual against the plural psyche… Absolutely fascinating."

And, it was, so many things going on at the same time. With so many thoughts overlapping each other, having them all connected was remarkable to be a part of.

Bella glared at me.

"Jacob's been keeping a lot of secrets," I said with a grin.

Still having no response, she waited to hear more, and there was a lot more. The complexity of this pack was clear, there were so many unsettling problems amongst each other.

"For instance, did you note the smaller gray wolf there last night?"

She nodded, unwillingly.

I chuckled. "They take all of their legends so seriously. It turns out there are things that none of their stories prepared them for."

She sighed. "Okay, I'll bite. What are you talking about?"

"They always accepted without question that it was only the direct grandsons of the original wolf who had the power to transform."

"So someone changed who wasn't a direct descendant?"

"No. She's a direct descendant, all right."

She blinked, her eyes widened. "She?"

She was new to the group and was creating quite a disturbance for the rest of them.

I nodded. "She knows you. Her name is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah's a werewolf!" Bella shrieked. "What? For how long? Why didn't Jacob tell me?"

"There are things he wasn't allowed to share –their numbers, for instance. Like I said before, when Sam gives an order, the pack simply isn't able to ignore it. Jacob was very careful to think of other things when he was near me. Of course, after last night that's all out the window."

"I can't believe it. Leah Clearwater!" Bella thought heavily while she processed this.

I, on the other hand, was still quite fascinated with the whole pack. Jacob especially, his control was unprecedented. Remaining quiet all those times he was around me was very impressive, particularly when this was still new to him. Being second in command came with a certain degree of power, but the real truth lay much deeper.

The pack as a whole –I'd said it before –fascinating. With so many things going on in that group, it was remarkable that Sam was able to keep them all from killing each other. The bigger the pack grew, the more problems that surfaced.

There was one major problem in the pack that was somewhat of an issue and at present wasn't a big deal, but I'm certain with time, it'll be the very point that will break up the group. Sooner or later it would rear its ugly head, and when it did, there would be nothing that would keep them together.

"Poor Leah," Bella whispered.

I snorted. "She's making life exceedingly unpleasant for the rest of them. I'm not sure she deserves your sympathy."

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard enough for them, having to share all their thoughts. Most of them try to cooperate, make it easier. When even one member is deliberately malicious, it's painful for everyone."

Leah was spiteful, making life nearly impossible for the rest of the group.

"She has reason enough," she mumbled.

"Oh, I know," I said. "The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed in my life, and I've seen some strange things," I shook my head. "The way Sam is tied to his Emily is impossible to describe –or should I say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of A Midsummer Night's Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies' love spells… like magic," I smiled. "It's nearly as strong as the way I feel about you."

That was the truth, the imprinting was real, and it was powerful, but it still wasn't as strong as my feelings for Bella. It was also very different. With imprinting, the wolf becomes whatever their partner needs… a friend… a brother… a companion, whatever is needed at the time. My love for Bella would always remain the same, unequivocally soul mates. My heart, my mind and my body would always belong to her, no one else.

Leah had strong feelings about being part of this group. In a way, I could understand how difficult it must be for her, being the only girl had to be strenuous. Having to take orders from Sam, a person she would rather have nothing to do with, would be grueling. But, that was no excuse for what she was doing to the rest of the group, it was just cruel.

"Poor Leah," she said again. "But what do you mean, malicious?"

"She's constantly bringing up things they'd rather not think of," I explained. "For example, Embry."

"What's with Embry?" she asked, surprised.

"His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant with him. She's not Quieleute. Everyone assumed she'd left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he joined the pack."

"So?"

"So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them married at that point, of course."

"No!" She gasped.

"Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. They'd all like to think its Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacob's never been able to ask Bill about that."

"Wow. How did you get so much in one night?"

"The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. There's so much to read!"

Knowing that it was rude and unfair of me to roam around other people's thoughts, I simply was unable to ignore them. Thoughts were circling the clearing, too many to disregard, and I was capturing all of them. It was impossible to block them, with so much going on at once. Besides, their minds were captivating, and I'm quite certain it could've been easy to resist, but I was mesmerized.

"The pack is fascinating," she agreed. "Almost as fascinating as you are when you're trying to distract me."

Knowing where this conversation was heading, my attempts to extinguish it had fallen on deaf ears. She would not listen to reason when it came to her safety.

"I have to be in that clearing, Edward."

"No," I said, my voice strong in disapproval.

She sat processing this for a moment, unwilling to look me in the eye. Taking so long to respond, I wonder what her mind was calculating, now. Knowing her well, I was quite certain she was formulating some sort of plan, finding a way to make it reasonable to be in the clearing, but no matter what she said, what she came up with, the answer would still be no. Regardless of her excuses, I was unwilling to allow her to be in that kind of danger.

"Okay, look, Edward," she whispered. "Here's the thing… I've already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. _And I can't stand it if you leave me again._"

So this was it, she would plead with me to take her… I wouldn't… I couldn't.

"You know it's not like that, Bella," I murmured. "I won't be far, and it will be over quickly."

"I can't stand it," she insisted, still refusing to look at me. "Not knowing whether or not you'll come back. How do I live through that, no matter how quickly it's over?"

I sighed. "It's going to be easy, Bella. There's no reason for your fears."

"None at all?"

"None."

"And everyone will be fine?"

"Everyone," I promised.

"So there's no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?"

"Of course not. Alice just told me that they're down to nineteen. We'll be able to handle it easily."

"That's right –you said it was so easy that someone could sit out," she repeated my words from last night. "Did you really mean that?"

Where was she going with this? "Yes."

"So easy that you could sit out?"

I walked right into that one, why hadn't I seen that one coming? If she couldn't be there, then she wouldn't want me to be there, either. This only made sense, it's what I demanded of her, and of course, she would demand this of me. How had I missed this?

Finally glancing up at me… taking a deep breath… she spoke. "So it's one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or… it's going to be so easy that they'll get by without you. Which way is it?"

How could she ask this of me? How could she expect me to allow everyone else to fight for me when I'd caused of all of this? For me to miss this, unable to finish this with my own hands, seemed unbearable. Being correct, with all the help we had, there was nothing to worry about, how could I not be there?

If I expected her to remain away, how could I not honor her request? My demand was simple, for her to remain far away, nowhere near the clearing. Her request was just as simple, staying with me. If it were so simple, how could I not consider it?

With simple answers to these observations, she was not capable of protecting herself, and I was. I had the ability to face these creatures and be fine… she couldn't. With so many of them gathering at once, the risk was far too great to be able to keep her safe, if she stayed with me. It was unfathomable to think of taking chances with her… it would never happen.

In conclusion, if she refused to hide during the fight, what other choice was I left with? Envisioning not being there when this fight took place was agonizing. On the other hand, having her feeling despair, bringing back the memories of my time away, even for the shortest period of time, was excruciating and I couldn't allow that again.

So I suppose I was left with no other option. I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Alice," I sighed. "Could you come baby-sit Bella for a bit?" raising one eyebrow at Bella, waiting for her to object. She said nothing. "I need to speak with Jasper."

Alice agreed. I shut the phone and continued to glare at Bella.

"What are you going to say to Jasper?" she whispered.

"I'm going to discuss… me sitting out," I responded with no expression as to the pain this was causing.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," I said, attempting to smile. "Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is what you need…" I shrugged. "You are my first priority."

"I didn't mean it that way –like you have to choose me over your family."

"I know that. Besides, that's not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with, and I chose the one I could live with. That's how compromise is supposed to work."

She leaned forward and rested her forehead against my chest. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Anytime," I answered, kissing her hair. "Anything."

Sitting silently for a while, contemplating everything that was about to happen. How had I ended up sitting and waiting, yet again? My existence had become a series of sitting by and waiting. Would I ever get this right? I suppose, if I refused to bring her, then it would only be natural for her not to want me there, either. How is it that these details always seemed to escape me? Why would I not know that?

There was one thing I knew for certain, revealing the rest of her dream had not been forgotten, and I would get to the bottom of that mystery. Solving part of the mystery with Alice, there was still one unanswered question looming my mind.

"Who's the third wife?" I asked her suddenly.

"Huh?" she answered, not willing to discuss this, she was a bad liar.

"You were mumbling something about 'the third wife' last night. The rest made a little sense, by you lost me there."

"Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night," she shrugged. "I guess it stuck with me."

Leaning away from her I cocked my head to the side, a bad liar she remained. Unable to get an answer from her, I would manage to mention this to Jacob getting his response. I'm quite certain he would share any information that would be harmful to her.

Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"You're going to miss all the fun," she grumbled.

"Hello, Alice," I greeted her. Putting one finger under Bella's chin, I tilted her face up to kiss her goodbye.

"I'll be back later tonight," I promised her. "I'll go work this out with the others, rearrange things."

"Okay."

"There's not much to rearrange," Alice interrupted. "I already told them. Emmett is pleased."

I sighed. "Of course he is."

Walking out the door, leaving Alice with Bella.

Running through the forest wondering how it was I always seemed to end up in this situation. Sitting out, while the rest of my family were facing this type of danger would be excruciating. Knowing they could handle this, that there was no major concern… still, had I the strength to sit back and watch. Arriving at home everyone was there, gathered in the living room.

"Well, what does everyone think?" I asked, as there were no thoughts to give them away. Everyone remained at ease.

"Its fine, Edward. We have everything under control," Jasper said.

"Yeah. You sitting out means more for me," Emmett grinned.

"You would say that. I'm being serious, this won't be a problem for anyone?" I asked.

"No, everything is fine. With the wolves we'll have everything taken care of quickly," Carlisle answered confidently.

"We're fine, Edward. You stay with Bella, she needs you," Esme added.

"I can't believe she talked you into missing this," Emmett laughed.

"Emmett, stop it," Rose snapped as she smacked him on the back of the head.

There it was, the years of grieve I would endure for missing this. Emmett and Jasper were never going to let me live this one down. But, none of that matter, as long as she was safe and happy. I understood her point of view and she was right, how could I expect this from her? Sitting back and waiting, no matter how short of time it was, wouldn't be fair. If I couldn't expect this from myself, then neither should she.

With everything at home set and everyone at ease with me… sitting out, it was hard for me to say that. Unbelievable that we've come to this. Reading her was something I'd have to get better at, if I didn't want to be surprised by her again. I ran over our conversation in my head again, her revelation should have been clear as day. But, it wasn't as she stunned me, yet again. Would I ever know what was going on in her head?

Arriving at Bella's house I scaled the wall and went through her window. Taking residence across her bed, I waited her return.

"What time are we meeting with the wolves?" she muttered as she entered the room and joined me on the bed.

"In an hour."

"That's good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep."

"They don't need as much as you do," I pointed out.

She immediately switched subjects to avoid speaking of staying home.

"Did Alice tell you that she's kidnapping me again?"

I grinned, as this was not the plan. "Actually, she's not."

She stared at me, confused as I laughed quietly.

"I'm the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember?" I said. "Alice is going hunting with the rest of them," I sighed. "I guess I don't need to do that now."

"You're kidnapping me?" she said with enthusiasm.

I nodded.

She remained silent. Deep in thought her expression had me worried.

"Is that all right?" I asked.

"Well… sure, except for one thing."

"What thing?" I asked anxiously, perhaps she won't want to stay with me.

"Why didn't Alice tell Charlie you were leaving tonight?" she asked.

Relieved, I laughed, not the response I was expecting. Picking her up in my arms, it was time to head to the clearing. Jumping from her window I swung her on my back and ran through the forest.

We arrived at the clearing last.

Jasper and Emmett were already wrestling –just warming up from the sounds of their laughter. Alice and Rosalie lounged on the ground, watching. Esme and Carlisle were talking a few yards away, heads close together, fingers linked, not paying attention to anything other than themselves.

It was much brighter tonight, the moon shining through the thin clouds, and I could see the three wolves that sat around the edge of the practice ring, spaced far apart to watch from different angles.

"Where are the rest of the wolves?" Bella asked.

"They don't need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didn't trust us enough to just send Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual… I guess you could call them his wingmen."

"Jacob trusts you."

I nodded. "He trusts us not to try to kill him. That's about it, though."

"Are you participating tonight?" she asked, hesitantly.

"I'll help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with multiple attackers."

Shrugging as it was no big deal. As it stood, with only twenty newborns, it really was uncomplicated. With my family and the wolves fighting together, they would be fine. Practicing would ensure everyone was equipped with everything needed to win this fight. That's what my brain tells me, that's what I know to be true, but it hadn't hurt any less knowing I would not be able to help, that I wouldn't be there to protect them as I should.

Bella stared out at the open field, attempting to hide her panic.

Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, and trotted over to where we stood on the fringe of things.

"Jacob," I greeted him politely.

Jacob ignored me, his eyes fixed on Bella. He put his head down to her level, cocking it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle.

"I'm fine," Bella answered, not needing the translation that I was about to give. "Just worried, you know."

Jacob continued to stare at her.

"He wants to know why," I murmured.

Jacob growled –not a threat, just annoyance.

"What?" she asked.

"He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, 'That's really stupid. What is there to be worried about?' I edited, because I thought it was rude."

Bella partially smiled. "There's plenty to be worried about," she told Jacob. "Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt."

Jacob laughed.

I sighed. "Jasper wants help. You'll be okay without a translator?"

"I'll manage."

Looking at her for a moment, deciding it would be okay to leave her alone with him, I strolled over to where Jasper waited. Everyone was eagerly waiting for the night's lessons to begin. Even the two remaining wolves watched intensely, although their eyes were closely fixed on Bella and Jacob, as mine were.

Helping with the lesson seemed to distract me a little bit, I couldn't help but keep an eye on what was happening across the field. He was good, staying by her side, keeping her warm. It anger me a little, he was able to do the things I couldn't, keeping her warm was something I would never be able to do for her. He knew all the little things that I couldn't do, and went out of his way to sneak them in. I'd have to give him credit, he was better than I accepted him to be. For a mere child, he appeared to know what he was doing.

My biggest advantage was that he was a child –being the reason he acted without thought. His biggest downfall was that he could caught up in the moment doing stupid things out of reaction instead of thought. This would be the quality that would be his demise.

The night ended on a positive note, with everyone feeling good about the events to come. With the lessons and the wolves, we figured there was no way we could lose. Everyone left on a high note.

**Thanks for reading and sticking with me for so long. See you soon.**


	20. Chapter 20 - DEAL

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers**

20. DEAL

My world appeared perfect, more perfect than it had ever felt in my existence. That was for this night, at least. My family had left on a hunting trip and would be gone over night. Having an entire night alone with Bella, and I was elated. It seemed that we never had enough time to be ourselves, just her and I.

With all that was occurring around us lately, we needed this night to forget, to emerge ourselves in us… just being us. These are the words I pleaded to her;

"For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?" I pleaded. "It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you. Just you."

I said this to her as she drove as slow as a snail to my empty house. Attempting desperately not to laugh at her slow pace, a smile broke across my face every now and then. This was a night I had been waiting for, a night we hadn't had in quite a while, but urgently needed. I longed to be alone with her as there were a few details that needed our attention, a few things I we would needto work out.

Excitement spread within, as she turned up the driveway to my house, knowing this would be the night that could change everything. If things went as I planned them, our relationship would change forever, and she would be mine forever.

As she cut the engine, I was at her door, opening it for her. Lifting her from the cab with one arm, slinging her bag out of the truck bed and over my shoulder with the other. My lips found hers as I kicked the truck's door shut behind me.

Without my lips leaving hers, I swung her up so that she was cradled in my arms and carried her to the house.

Kissing her eagerly, I was delighted to have the house to ourselves, with no distractions. Having a plan, something I had put off long enough, having my family here would have ruined that. Stepping into the entryway, the kissing continued. Letting my guard down the urgency flowed threw me. With the possibility of getting my way, I was comforted, making me less anxious.

With a slight chuckle, I pulled away, holding her at arm's length.

"Welcome home," I said.

"That sounds nice," she said, breathless.

Setting her on her feet, she wrapped both arms around me in protest.

"I have something for you," I said in a casual tone.

"Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable."

"Oh, that's right. I guess I did say that."

Chuckling at her reluctance, she was so stubborn. She was going to accept my gift.

"It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

"Sure," she agreed, winding her fingers threw mine. "Let's go."

Scooping her up excitedly, I flew up the stairs to my room. Setting her down in the doorway I darted to my closet.

I was back before she had taken a step, she ignored me and went to the bed, plopping down on the edge, and then slide to the center. Curling up in a ball, she wrapped her arms around her knees.

"Okay," she grumbled. "Let me have it."

I laughed, she was so predictable, but she would like this gift, as long as I didn't mention where it really came from.

Climbing onto the bed to sit next to her, her heart was pumping loudly, anxious about the present, no doubt.

"A hand-me-down," I reminded her sternly.

Pulling her left wrist away from her leg, touching the small silver bracelet placing a small charm opposite the wolf, I gave her arm back.

She examined it carefully. It took a moment for her to realize that the small charm was a heart shaped diamond. A crystal is what I would tell her it was –if she asked –she could never know what was really hanging on her arm. Okay, it was unfair of me not to disclose the truth, but if she knew the truth she would never accept it, and I needed her to have some sort of diamond from me. It made me feel better knowing it was there, silly as that sounds, I'm still an old-fashioned man.

"It was my mother's." I shrugged, innocently. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this. I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So, clearly, this is not a big deal in any way."

She smiled ruefully at my assurances.

"But I thought it was a good representation," I continued. "It's hard and cold." I laughed. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

"You forgot the most important similarity," she murmured. "It's beautiful."

Such a relief to have her accept a gift from me, and she had taken it quite easily. This gave me hope that my real surprise for the evening may go better than I'd anticipated.

"My heart is just as silent," I mused. "And it, too, is yours."

She twisted her wrist so the heart would glimmer. "Thank you. For both."

"No. Thank you. It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily. Good practice for you, too." I grinned.

She ducked into me, ducking her head under my arm and cuddling into my side. This was perfection, she'd accepted a gift from me, and even though it was under false pretenses, she would never find out. Having her accept it pleased me beyond believe. It was blissful to finally give her a present. Could this night possibly get any better? Waiting for the right moment, I knew it could.

"Can we discuss something? I'd appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded."

What was this? Open-minded, what was on her mind? "I'll give it my best effort," I agreed, with a degree of caution. This night was supposed to be about her and I, nothing else.

"I'm not breaking any rules here," she promised. "This is strictly about you and me," she cleared her throat. "So… I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principle to a different situation," she paused.

"What would you like to negotiate?" I asked, smiling. Funny she would have something to discuss with me, when I was wracking my brain to figure out how to bring up my negotiations.

She hesitated, making me nervous.

"Listen to your heart fly," he murmured. "It's fluttering like a hummingbird's wings. Are you all right?"

"I'm great."

"Please go on then," I encouraged, curious.

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

"It's only ridiculous to you. What about it?"

"I was wondering… is that open to negotiation?"

Frowning, not this again. "I've already made the largest concession by far and away –I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment. And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

This changes my plans for the evening, my hope was that she was softening to the idea of marriage, but apparently that's not about to happen.

"No," she shook her head. "That part's done deal. We're not discussing my… renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."

Where was she going with this? "Which details do you mean exactly?"

She hesitated. "Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

"You know what I want," she already knew what I wanted, what else was there?

"Matrimony," she made a face as she said this.

"Yes," I smiled, wide. "To start with."

Since she brought this subject up, and clearly she has something on her mind that she would like, then I saw no harm in throwing in a few more requests.

Her expression was shocked. "There's more?"

"Well," I said as I calculated. "If you're my wife, then what's mine is yours… like tuition money. So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

"Anything else? While you're already being absurd?"

"I won't mind some time."

"No. No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

I sighed. "Just a year or two?"

She shook her head… her lips frowned. "Move along to the next one."

"That's it. Unless you'd like to talk cars…"

Grinning, I really only had one demand, and that was marriage. But, since she wanted to negotiate other things, what would it hurt to add a few more requests to my list. Taking her hand I began playing with her fingers waiting for a response.

She was unresponsive, making me fairly nervous.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself. I'm extremely curious."

Attempting to analyze the situation, I'd rather not be surprised by her again.

She paused staring down at my hand on hers. I stared at her waiting for her to begin, but she would not look at me. Her cheeks began to turn scarlet red.

I brushed her cheek with my finger. "You're blushing?" I asked, curious. "Please, Bella, the suspense is painful."

What was this? What was so bad she was afraid to ask me? There was nothing, not one thing I could think of.

"Bella," I pleaded.

"Well, I'm a little worried… about after," she admitted, finally looking at me.

My muscles retracted automatically. "What has you worried?"

Here was one subject that was unappealing to me, and one I wished not to discuss this evening. But, if this had her concerned, perhaps she was changing her mind on the whole transformation.

"All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town," she confessed, I winced at her choice of words. "And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be me anymore… and that I won't… I won't want you the same way I do now."

"Bella, that part doesn't last forever," I assured her, relieved that was all she worried about. I would never allow her to do anything she would regret.

"Edward," she said, nervous about something, she would not look at me again. "There's something I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

Waiting for her to reveal her secret, she wouldn't. Surprised, shocked and anxiety, those were feelings she'd raised in me before, and I didn't want to have them again.

"Whatever you want," I encouraged, anxious and extremely curious.

"Do you promise?" she muttered.

"Yes," I said, as there was nothing I wouldn't give her. This was a silly conversation and she had no reason to be insecure about asking me. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

She hesitated, turning several shades of red now. What could this possibly be? What had her so worried? Shocking me again was unacceptable, but I was unable to figure this out.

"You," she mumbled, barely coherently.

"I'm yours," I smiled, that was easy enough.

She took a deep breath and shifted forward so that she was kneeling on the bed. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

Kissing her back, I was bewildered. Gently kissing her willingly, my mind resided on what it was she truly wanted. She already had me, so where was she going with this statement? This wasn't making any sense to me.

Suddenly her trembling her hands unlocked from my neck, making her way to the collar of my shirt. Shaking as she attempted to undo the buttons on my shirt. Freezing, her conversation suddenly caught up with me, shock spread once again.

I pushed her away at once with what I was sure was a disapproving look on my face.

"Be reasonable, Bella."

"You promised –whatever I wanted," she reminded me.

"We're not having this discussion," I glared at her while refastening the buttons she managed to open. Unbelievable, she'd done it again, utterly astonishing me, being the last thing that would occur to me.

"I say we are," she growled. She moved her hands to her blouse and yanked open the top button.

Grabbing her wrists and pinning them to her sides, I had to regain control here.

"I say we're not," I said flatly.

We glowered at each other. Where had this come from? What was she thinking?

"You wanted to know," she pointed out.

"I thought it would be something faintly realistic."

"So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want –like getting married –but I'm not allow to even discuss what I…"

While she was ranting, I pulled her hands together securing them in one of mine, putting the other hand over her mouth.

"No," I said angrily. She had utterly lost her mind. What would I say to this?

She took a deep breath as the blush began to spread across her cheeks again. She struggled to look away from me, but I wouldn't allow it. Her eyes began to water as she pushed her face to the side away from me.

Sighing, I took the hand from her mouth and put it under her chin, pulling her face up to look at me.

"What now?"

"Nothing," she mumbled.

Gazing at her reaction for a long moment as she attempted to look away. To my shock and dismay… she was horrified by my reaction… I'd embarrassed her.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked.

"No," she lied.

Quickly, I pulled her into the circle of my arms. Cradling her between my shoulder and my hand, stroking her reassuringly against her cheek. What a monster I truly am.

"You know why I have to say no," I murmured. "You know that I want you, too."

"Do you?" she whispered voice full of doubt.

How could she not know this? "Of course I do, you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl," I laughed once. "Doesn't everyone? I feel like there's a line behind me, jockeying for position, waiting for me to make a big enough mistake… You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being sill now?"

"Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe? Shall I tell you whose name would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you."

That was the truth. There remained many boys who wanted her, some who were waiting for us to break up. The thoughts I heard on a daily basis rang threw my mind.

She shook her head against my chest. "You're just trying to distract me. Let's get back to the subject."

I sighed. This was a closed subject, she knew why. She knew there was no way this could happen while she was still human. To discuss this was useless… there's no way I would agree to this… nothing she could say that would change my mind.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong," she said. "Your demands are marriage" –she had trouble with that word- "paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster," she raised her eyebrows. "Did I get everything? That's a hefty list."

"Only the first is a demand," I was having difficulty keeping a straight face. "The others are merely requests."

"And my lone, solitary demand is…"

"Demand?" I interrupted, horrified. Demand? How could she demand something such as this? She couldn't expect me to risk her in that way… I wouldn't… I couldn't.

"Yes, demand."

My eyes narrowed.

"Getting married is a stretch for me. I'm not giving in unless I get something in return."

Leaning down I whisper in her ear. "No," I murmured. "It's not possible now. Later, when you're less breakable. Be patient, Bella."

"But that's the problem. It won't be the same when I'm less breakable. I won't be the same! I don't know who I'll be then."

"You'll still be Bella," I promised.

She frowned. "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie –that I'd drink Jacob's blood or Angela's if I got the chance –how can that be true?"

"It will pass. And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood," I shuddered at the thought. "Even as a newborn, you'll have better taste than that."

She ignored my last statement. "But that will always be what I want most, won't it?" she challenged. "Blood, blood, and more blood!"

"The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true," I pointed out.

"Over eighty years later," she reminded me. "What I meant was physically, though. Intellectually, I know I'll be able to be myself… after a while. But just purely physically –I will always be thirsty, more than anything else."

Having no response. What could I say? This was a true statement, but how would I make her see that it wouldn't always be that way?

"So I will be different," she concluded unopposed at this moment. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you. More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physically…"

She twisted her head to kiss the palm of my hand.

Taking a deep breath, how would I explain this? How might she see my point of view on this subject? We couldn't… I wouldn't… the danger was far too great.

"Bella, I could kill you," I whispered.

"I don't think you could."

She had to see, she had to know, this simply wasn't a possibility while she was still human. Lifting my hand from her face, I reached quickly behind me grabbing one of the iron roses off the headboard of the bed.

Holding it up in the palm of my hand for her to see, I closed my hand briefly, my fingers contracting gently, I opened my hand.

Without a word, I offered her the crushed rose. It was a cast of the inside of my hand, like a piece of play dough. A half-second passed, and the shape crumbled into black sand in my palm.

She glared at me. "That's not what I meant. I already know how strong you are. You didn't have to break the furniture."

"What did you mean then?" I asked harshly, tossing the handful of iron sand to the corner of the room; it hit the wall with a sound like rain.

Watching for her response intensely. That demonstration was all the evidence I needed to prove my point on this subject.

"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to… More that, you don't want to hurt me… so much so that I don't think that you ever could."

I started shaking my head before she finished.

"It might not work like that, Bella."

"Might," she scoffed. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

"Exactly. Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

She stared into my eyes for a long moment. There would be no comprises tonight, not for something such as this. It was decided and the answer remained now and would always be no.

"Please," she finally whispered. "It's all I want. Please," she closed her eyes.

How could she do this to me? How could she utilize that word? Surely she knew the power she possessed when she pleaded with me. How could I even consider such actions? Would it be possible? Could I keep from killing her? No, the answer was always, no.

"Please?" she whispered again, her heartbeat picking up pace. "You don't have to make me any guarantees. If it doesn't work out right, well, then that's that. Just let us try… only try. And I'll give you what you want," she promised quickly. "I'll marry you. I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't complain about the bride to get me in. You can even buy me a fast car if that makes you happy! Just… please."

Impossible circumstances… that's what I faced when it came to her.

Tightening my arms around her, astounded I was even considering this. My selfish side was considering what I would get in return. The things I really desired… more time, college, and to be married. Was all that worth this? "This is unbearable. So many things I've wanted to give you –and this is what you decide to demand. Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

"Then don't refuse," she suggested breathlessly.

Having no response, I had no idea what to say. Having no plan to oppose this.

"Please," she attempted that word again.

"Bella…" shaking my head slowly.

Resist… resist her pleas was the mantra playing over and over again in my mind, while my lips where moving back and forth across her throat. My breathing became ragged as her heart was beating out of her chest.

Stop…

Resist…

It was useless…

She took full advantage of my sudden weakness and when my face turned towards her, she twisted in my arms till her lips reached mine. Seizing her face, attempting to push her away, mustering all my strength, I couldn't.

It was hopeless.

My mouth –not gentle this time –had a brand new edge of desperation kissing her. She locked her arms around my neck straining me closer to her. The heat from her body washed over me, flooding my frozen body. Flames shoot threw me and the urgency took completely over. My mind sparked with the electrical current that was suddenly making is way threw my body. I wanted her… needed her… all of her.

She broke the kiss gasping for air, greedily my lips moved to her throat. Possibility swept threw me… I had enough strength… it could work. She was right, there was no way I could hurt her. As I pressed my lips against her throat, I was positive we could do this. Doubt no longer lingered in my mind, replaced by stimulation.

With steady hands this time, she got through all the buttons on my shirt. I felt euphoric as the sparks flew from her touch. My entire body was burning hotter and hotter clouding my brain. She ran her fingers along my chest sending bolts of electricity threw me. The pleasure was unbearable… it couldn't continue… but I couldn't seem to stop her… or myself for that matter.

Pulling her mouth back to mine, I was just as eager as she seemed to be. One of my hands remained cupping her face, while the other arm was tight around her waist, straining her closer to me. I wanted her closer… as close as we could possibly get. Any reasonable thoughts flew out the window at this moment. My only thoughts were to…

She attempted to reach the buttons on her shirt… stopping me in my tracks.

Sanity… slipped its way back into my mind, providing me the ability to think straight for a moment. Quickly, I took advantage of my sanity, before it was too late. Grabbing her around the wrists, I pulled her hands above her head, placing a pillow there.

Moving my lips to her ear again. "Bella," I murmured, struggling to say the words that were required of me. "Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"

"Do you want to do that part?" she asked, confused.

"Not tonight," I answered softly. My lips moving slower, against her cheek and jaw, the fire was disappearing.

"Edward, don't…" she started to argue.

"I'm not saying no," I reassured her. "I'm just saying not tonight."

She thought about that while our breathing slowed.

"Give me one good reason why tonight is not as good as any other night," she was still breathless.

There were plenty of reasons, but the ones that stood out most in my mind were the ones I couldn't think of. If we were going to do this, there would be a lot of things to prepare for, and we just weren't ready for that now.

"I wasn't born yesterday," I chuckled in her ear. "Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? You just promised to marry me before you do any changing, but if I give in tonight, what guarantee do I have that you won't go running off to Carlisle in the morning? I am –clearly –much less reluctant to give you what you want. Therefore… you first."

Being truly selfish, I would not give her what she wanted, until she was willing to give me what I wanted. Compromise… such a beautiful word.

She exhaled with a loud huff. "I have to marry you first?" she asked in disbelieve.

Wrapping my arms around her, I began kissing her again. Absolutely positive this was not the wisest action at this moment. Far too persuasive, but I was unwilling to hear her answer to my proposition.

"I think that's a really bad idea," she gasped when I let her breathe.

"I'm not surprised you feel that way," I smirked. "You have a one-track mind."

"How did this happen?" she grumbled. "I thought I was holding my own tonight –for once –and now, all of a sudden…"

"You're engaged," I finished. Saying that out loud was exhilarating.

"Ew! Please don't say that out loud."

"Are you going back on your word?" I demanded, pulling away to read her face.

She glared at me, trying to ignore the smile that spread across my face as her heart accelerated.

"Are you?" I pressed.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "No. I'm not. Are you happy now?"

I smiled revealing all of my teeth. "Exceptionally."

She groaned again.

"Aren't you happy at all?"

Kissing her again, certain I wouldn't want an answer. Even if she lied, I would clearly see through it. Desiring for her to be just as ecstatic as I was. Knowing I would not get my way, I was hoping she was, at the very least, happy.

"A little bit," she admitted when she was able to speak. "But not about getting married."

Eternity… this is how I could spend eternity. If this were enough for me, then why was it not enough for her? I could literally spend eternity kissing her, why did she not feel the same?

Kissing her again. "Do you get the feeling that everything is backward?" I laughed in her ear. "Traditionally, shouldn't you be arguing my side, and I yours?"

"There isn't much that's traditional about you and me."

"True."

Kissing her again, until her heart was racing and her skin was on hot. Knowing I shouldn't be doing this, for she was having enough trouble with control tonight, but I couldn't seem to get enough of her.

"Look, Edward," she murmured, as I kissed the palm of her hand. "I said I would marry you, and I will. I promise. I swear. If you want, I'll sign a contract in my own blood."

"Not funny," I murmured.

"What I'm saying is this –I'm not going to trick you or anything. You know me better than that. So there's really no reason to wait. We're completely alone –how often does that happen? –and you've provided this very large and comfortable bed…"

"Not tonight," I said again.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

Pulling the hand I was still kissing, she pulled my face up to where she could see my expression.

"Then what's the problem? It's not like you didn't know you were going to win in the end," she frowned and muttered, "You always win."

"Just hedging my bets," I said calmly.

Wishing she would drop this subject, I really didn't want to have to explain myself.

"There's something else," she guessed, her eyes narrowing. She continued to glare at me. "Are you planning to go back on your word?"

"No," I promised solemnly. "I swear to you, we will try. After you marry me," wishing she would just let this go. Explaining it seemed silly and old-fashioned.

She shook her head, and laughed glumly. "You make me feel like a villain in a melodrama –twirling my mustache while I try to steal some poor girl's virtue."

Flashing my eyes at her, quickly dropping my head. I began kissing her collarbone.

"That's it, isn't it?" A short laughed escaped her lips, more shocked than amused. "You're trying to protect your virtue!" she covered her mouth with her hand to hide the giggle that followed.

Leave it to Bella to get things all wrong as usual. But since she was pressing the issue, I would have to explain myself.

"No, silly girl," I muttered against her shoulder. "I'm trying to protect yours. And you're making it shockingly difficult."

"Of all the ridiculous…"

"Let me ask you something," I interrupted quickly. "We've had this discussion before, but humor me. How many people in this room have a soul? A shot at heaven, or whatever there is after this life?"

"Two," she answered immediately.

"All right. Maybe that's true. Now, there's a world full of dissension about this, but the vast majority seem to think that there are some rules that have to be followed."

"Vampire rules aren't enough for you? You want to worry about the human ones too?"

"It couldn't hurt," I shrugged. "Just in case."

She glared at me through narrow eyes. Aware that my beliefs are old and come from a time long past, it didn't matter, they were still my beliefs.

"Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul."

"No, it isn't," she argued, angrily.

"Thou shall not kill' is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I've killed a lot of people, Bella."

"Only the bad ones."

I'm certain the bible doesn't include exceptions to this rule. At least I've never read any. It states 'thou shall not kill', there are no exceptions that I saw.

I shrugged. "Maybe that counts, maybe it doesn't. But you haven't killed anyone…"

"That you know about," she muttered.

I smiled, but otherwise ignored her attempt at humor. "And I'm going to do my best to keep you out of temptation's way."

"Okay. But we weren't fighting over committing murder," she reminded me.

"The same principle applies –the only difference is that this is the one area in which I'm just as spotless as you are. Can't I leave one rule unbroken?"

Applying the list of things I've done in my past, and there's a hefty list, I was spotless in one area of my life. Just as spotless as her and I wanted to remain that way for at least one thing.

"One?"

"You know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted… my virtue is all I have left." I grinned crookedly.

"I lie all the time."

"Yes, but you're such a bad liar that it doesn't really count. Nobody believes you."

"I really hope you're wrong about that –because otherwise Charlie is about to burst through the door with a loaded gun."

"Charlie is happier when he pretends to swallow your stories. He'd rather lie to himself than look too closely," I grinned at her.

"But what did you ever covet?" she asked. "You have everything."

How could she not know this one? She was my desire and with no thought for anyone but myself, I scooped in and took her. It was unfair, devious, selfish, the most selfish thing I've done in my existence.

"I coveted you," smiling darkly. "I had no right to want you –but I reached out and took you anyway. And now look what's become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire," I shook my head.

"You can't covet what's already yours," she informed me. "Besides, I thought it was my virtue you were worried about."

"It is. If it's too late for me… Well, I'll be damned –no pun intended –if I'll let them keep you out, too."

That was the truth, as I knew it. She was an angel who belonged in heaven, and I would do everything in my power to make certain she made it there. They couldn't keep her out because of my selfishness.

"You can't make me go somewhere you won't be," she vowed. "That's my definition of hell. Anyway, I have an easy solution to all this: let's never die, all right?"

"Sounds simple enough. Why didn't I think of that?"

I smiled at her, until she gave up with an angry humph. "So that's it. You won't sleep with me until we're married."

"Technically, I can't ever sleep with you," I smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Very mature, Edward."

"But, other than that detail, yes, you've got it right."

"I think you have an ulterior motive."

My eyes widened innocently. "Another one?"

Having plenty of ulterior motives, this one was the most important at the moment.

"You know this will speed things up," she accused.

Attempting not to smile. "There is only one thing I want to speed up, and the rest can wait forever… but for that, it's true, your impatient human hormones are my most powerful ally at this point."

Wanting her to be my wife… yes, I really desired for that. But, as for the rest of it, I never wanted that. Never wanting for her to join me in that way. Being my wife, I was certain it would provide me more time. And time, was my greatest weapon, the longer she was human, the longer I had to convince her to remain human.

"I can't believe I'm going along with this. When I think of Charlie… and Renee! Can you imagine what Angela will think? Or Jessica? Ugh. I can hear the gossip now."

I raised an eyebrow at her, as she fretted over our impending marriage.

"It doesn't have to be a big production. I don't need any fanfare. You won't have to tell anyone or make any changes. We'll go to Vegas –you can wear old jeans and we'll go to the chapel with the drive-through window. I just want it to be official –that you belong to me and no one else."

"It couldn't be any more official than it already is," she grumbled.

"We'll see about that," I smiled complacently. "I suppose you don't want your ring now?"

This was my plan for the evening. Somehow I wanted to get that ring on her finger. I wasn't sure how I would accomplish that, but she did a pretty nice job arranging that for me. It couldn't have worked out better had I arranged it myself.

She swallowed hard before speaking. "You suppose correctly."

Laughing at her expression. "That's fine. I'll get it on your finger soon enough."

She glared at me. "You talk like you already have one."

"I do," I said. "Ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness."

"You're unbelievable."

"Do you want to see it?" I asked, excited.

"No!" she practically shouted, disappointing me. "Unless you really want to show it to me," she amended.

"That's all right," I shrugged. "It can wait."

This could wait –I knew that she would accept it from me sooner or later. The timing wasn't important, knowing she would wear it one day would be enough for me.

She sighed. "Show me the damn ring, Edward."

Shaking my head. "No."

She studied my expression for a long moment. Attempting to keep my pleasure hidden, not wanting her to know how excited I was.

"Please?" she asked quietly, touching my face with her fingertips. "Please can I see it?"

Looking at her suspiciously. "You are the most dangerous creature I've ever met," I muttered.

Getting up, I went to the small bedside table, and was back on the bed before her heart beat once. Sitting beside her with one arm around her shoulder, in my other hand was a little black ring box. This was my wish for tonight, managing to get this on her finger. Balancing the box on her left knee.

"Go ahead and look, then," I said abruptly.

She brushed her hand over the tiny box, stalling.

"You didn't spend a lot of money, did you? Lie to me, if you did."

"I didn't spend anything," I assured her. "It's just another hand-me-down. This is the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh," surprise crossed her face. Pinching the lid between her thumb and forefinger, it didn't open.

"I suppose it's a little outdated," my tone playfully apologetic. "Old-fashioned, just like me. I can get you something more modern. Something from Tiffany's?"

"I like old-fashioned things," she mumbled, as she hesitantly lifted the lid.

Nestled into the black satin was my mother's ring, sparkling in the dim light. The face was a long oval, set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold –delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds.

She stroked the shimmering gems.

"It's so pretty," she murmured, mostly to herself, surprised.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful," she shrugged. "What's not to like?"

Moments, such as these, were what I would've dreamed of –if I could dream. Being here, in this moment, with her about to put my mother's ring on –was completion. My world couldn't get better than this. The emotions running through me were indescribable. There were not enough words on this planet to say what I was feeling.

I chuckled. "See if it fits."

Her left hand clenched into a fist.

"Bella," I sighed. "I'm not going to solder it to your finger. Just try it on so I can see if it needs to be sized. Then you can take it right off."

"Fine," she grumbled.

She reached for the ring, but I was quicker already having it in my hand. Taking her left hand in mine I slid the ring into place on her third finger. Holding her hand out, we both examined the oval sparkling against her skin. It looked unbelievable right on her hand, and if I had a heart it would have swelled ten times the size.

"A perfect fit," I said, indifferently. "That's nice –saves me a trip to the jeweler's."

Hiding my enthusiasm was difficult and I was certain she saw right through me. Not concerned, she was mine, agreeing to marry me, the ring would soon be on her finger, where it would remain forever.

"You like that, don't you?" she asked suspiciously.

Shrugging, acting nonchalant. "Sure," I said, casually. "It looks very nice on you."

She stared straight into my eyes, attempting to see the excitement I was hiding. And, it was difficult to hide, sitting here with her wearing my ring. Wanting to jump out of my skin… shout from the rooftop that she agreed to marry me, but I knew she wasn't as happy as I was, so I wouldn't. Allowing my mask to slip, the excitement was overwhelming, unable to hide it any longer.

Kissing her my breathing became ragged as did hers. Her heart was jumping from her chest when I moved my mouth to her ear to whisper softly.

"Yes, I like it. You have no idea."

She laughed, gasping a little. "I believe you."

"Do you mind if I do something?" I murmured, my arms tightening around her.

"Anything you want."

Letting her go I slid away.

"Anything but that," she protested.

Ignoring her, I took her hand and pulled her off the bed. Standing in front of her I placed my hands on her shoulders. Strategizing all day for the right moment my plan would be appropriate, and without any contemplating on my part, she had done it for me. Making this easier for me than I had predicted.

"Now, I want to do this right. Please, please, keep in mind that you've already agreed to this, and don't ruin it for me."

"Oh, no," she gasped as I slid down onto one knee.

"Be nice," I muttered.

She took a deep breath.

"Isabella Swan?" I said looking up at her. "I promise to love you forever –every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

She paused staring into my eyes for a long moment. After a few painful heartbeats she finally answered me. "Yes."

"Thank you," I said.

Taking her hand I kissed each of her fingertips before I kissed the ring that was now hers. My world was now absolute, my existence complete, she had said yes, making me the happiest man on the planet.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	21. Chapter 21 - MOUNTAINS

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers**

21. MOUNTAINS

After an eventful evening filled with many surprises for both Bella and myself. Any anxiety I had about proposing was washed away with her unexpected desire. I was never able to surprise her, but she always seemed to shock me. No matter what situation we were confronted with, she never responded the way I thought she would, so really I should no longer be shocked by her responses, but I was.

Although, the ring had not remained on her finger –she'd given it back as soon as she could –I knew it would be placed there again, sometime soon, and would be there for the rest of eternity. Eternity was a weird word to use when speaking of Bella, and even though, I had not given up hope on my plans to keep her human, thinking of having her for the rest eternity was beginning to sound nice. Remaining my number one problem plaguing me from the start –impossible circumstances.

When Bella got up from her slumber, I left her alone to get dressed, descending down stairs to see my family, who had returned at noon. The atmosphere was all business upon their return, getting back to the reason we were all coming together. With the newborns scheduled to make an appearance tomorrow, Bella and I would be making our way up the mountain, where we would wait out this fight.

Having Jacob meeting us, my mind was running wild with the many things that could happen, as he carried her up the mountain. Having to rely on such a creature to keep my world safe went against every belief I'd had. The fact that I was unable to take care of Bella –as I wanted to –completely crushed me, leaving me feeling apprehensive about existing with her. If I were unable to protect her from this, how would I protect her from anything else that could occur?

Alice was angry with me, having plenty to say when I entered the living room.

"How could you, Edward?" she scolded me.

"Alice, please don't make this any more difficult than it already is," I returned.

"You can't do this. She'll want a real wedding. Maybe, not today, but one day she'll regret this. This I can promise. Let me talk to her," she pleaded.

"No. Alice, stay out of this."

"Please, Edward? Just let me talk to her. I can change her mind," she begged.

"I'd really rather you didn't. It was hard enough to get her to say yes. Leave it alone," I explained. This caught the attention of Esme.

"Edward, she said yes," Esme said with enthusiasm in her voice.

Glaring at Alice, this was the last thing I wanted, I'd promised Bella we wouldn't have to tell anyone.

"She won't mind. It's just us, Edward," Alice attempted to reassure me.

"Enough already. Alice, leave it alone," I said in a tone of finality.

Bella had finished dressing and made her way down stairs. Time was moving too quickly and we had to get ready to leave. Alice in a sour mood gave us some warning about the kind of weather we could expect this evening. There were definitely times when she came in handy, this being one of them.

"I think" –she made a face using the word think- "that you're going to want to pack for cold weather, Edward. I can't see where you are exactly, because you're taking off with that dog this afternoon. But the storm that's coming seems particularly bad in that general area."

I nodded, glad for the information.

"It's going to snow on the mountains," she warned me.

"Ewe, snow," Bella muttered to herself.

"Wear a jacket," Alice told her, in an unfriendly voice.

Bella looked at me to clarify Alice's mood, but I could only smile knowing of the warning I had given Alice. She was not happy with me about our up and coming wedding plans. Turning I grabbed Bella by the hand and headed to the garage to pack for the evening.

Once in the garage I went straight to work packing all essentials for our trip up the mountain. This included many of our props –used in our human charade as hikers –we were very good customers at the Newton's store. Grabbing down a sleeping bag, a small tent, and several packets of dehydrated food –smiling as Bella made a face at me –stuffing it all into a backpack, we were ready.

Hearing her approach, I was not pleased. Alice sauntered into the garage and watched me work, I ignored her, knowing exactly why she was there.

When I finished packing, I handed Bella my phone. "Why don't you call Jacob and tell him we'll be ready for him in an hour or so. He knows where to meet us."

Jacob wasn't home, but Billy promised to call around until he could find an available werewolf to pass the news to.

The conversation for me was one sided and I refused to listen to any of that too. Wanting to give her privacy, not wanting to be rude, I'd leave her to have a conversation.

Besides, Alice was still trying my nerves over this wedding that wasn't even planned yet.

"_Edward, let me talk to her, please?"_ Alice begged.

Shaking my head slightly, I didn't want Bella to know about this conversation.

"_Please, Edward, please,"_ she pleaded.

I frowned as she stared me straight in the eye. Bella finished her phone conversation and handed me back the phone.

"Billy said to tell you 'good luck.'"

"That was generous of him," Edward said, breaking the glare Alice had on me.

"Bella, could I please speak to you alone?" Alice asked swiftly.

How dare she go against my wishes? Could she not see what this would do to my plans? Was it not bad enough she knew, did she really have to make it obvious by discussing it with Bella? She knew how Bella felt wasn't that enough to keep her quiet?

"You're about to make my life harder than it needs to be, Alice," I warned her with clenched teeth. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"This isn't about you, Edward," she shot back.

I laughed, she'd do anything to get her way, use any excuse.

"It's not," Alice insisted. "This is a female thing."

I frowned.

"Let her talk to me," Bella told me, curiosity in her eyes.

"You asked for it," I muttered. Laughing again –half angry, half amused –I strolled out of the garage. Not wanting to be there for this conversation, I also didn't venture away too far, expecting she would need me when she heard what was on Alice's mind.

"Bella?" Alice asked in a pathetic voice.

"What's wrong, Alice?"

"Don't you love me?" she asked in the same tone.

"Of course I do. You know that."

"Then why do I see you sneaking off to Vegas to get married without inviting me?"

"Oh," Bella muttered. "You know how I hate to make a big deal out of things. It was Edward's idea, anyway."

Well, I wasn't expecting that answer. How dare her blame me when it was her that didn't want a wedding. For myself, I would love a big traditional wedding, after all, I am an old-fashioned man, and that was how things were done in my day. Having all of our friends and family there to witness our blissful day would be wonderful, but I knew she didn't feel the same way. Respecting her wishes I would go to Vegas, if that's the way she wanted it, then that was what she could have it.

"I don't care whose idea it was. How could you do this to me? I expect that kind of thing from Edward, but not from you. I love you like you were my own sister."

"To me, Alice, you are my sister."

"Words!" she growled.

"Fine, you can come. There won't be much to see."

Alice was still grimacing. The things running through her mind were insane. Getting Bella to marry me was hard enough, getting her to agree to a big wedding was impossible.

"What?" Bella demanded.

"How much do you love me, Bella?"

"Why?"

Alice, giving the performance of a lifetime, stared at Bella with pleading eyes.

"Please, please, please," Alice whispered. "Pleased, Bella, please –if you really love me… Please let me do your wedding."

Listening intently, I needed to know if this form of enticement would work on anyone other than myself. Last night when it was Bella using this form of blackmail on me, it worked. It was interesting to hear this same tactics used against her.

"Aw, Alice!" Bella groaned. "No! Don't do this to me."

To my shock, it was working, Bella was caving.

"If you really, truly love me, Bella."

"That is so unfair. And Edward kind of already used that one on me."

This was true, I had used that on her, but she used that on me in return.

"I'll bet Edward would like it better if you did this traditionally, though he'd never tell you that. And Esme –think what it would mean to her!"

Wow, she was really good at this, much better than I. And the most surprising part of all was that it seemed to be working, Bella was weakening.

Bella groaned. "I'd rather face the newborns alone."

"I'll owe you for a century!"

"Is that a yes?" Alice asked, excitedly.

"No! I don't want to do this!"

"You won't have to do anything but walk a few yards and then repeat after the minister."

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh1"

"Please?" Alice was bouncing in place. "Please, please, please, please, please?"

This was it, the moment of truth, if this worked I found a new weapon. Also, if this worked I would get the wedding of my dreams –so to say.

"I'll never, never ever forgive you for this, Alice."

"Yay!" Alice squealed, clapping her hands together.

"That's not a yes!"

But really it was, Alice would get her way, and I would get mine. There was the small matter of dealing with Bella's anger that was sure to come my way after this, but I would endure to have this perfect day in which we would. Pulling me from my reverie…

"Edward!" Bella yelled, stalking out of the garage. "I know you're listening. Get over here." Alice was right behind her, still clapping.

Hiding my elation, rearranging my face to seem angry, again, I came up behind Bella.

"Thanks so much, Alice," I said voice full of acid.

Bella turned with an angry expression on her face, to yell at me. Peering at me, all anger washed away with the worry and concern that now took its place on my face, replacing the joy and happiness that I was truly feeling. Bella threw her arms around me, hiding her face in my chest. Keeping up my charade…

"Vegas," I promised in her ear. It would be her choice, always.

"Not a chance," Alice gloated. "Bella would never do that to me. You know, Edward, as a brother, you are sometimes a disappointment."

"Don't be mean," Bella grumbled at her. "He's trying to make me happy, unlike you."

"I'm trying to make you happy, too, Bella. It's just that I know better what will make you happy… in the long run. You'll thank me for this. Maybe not for fifty years, but definitely someday."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be willing to take a bet against you, Alice, but it has arrived."

Alice laughed. "So, are you going to show me the ring?"

Bella grimaced in horror as Alice grabbed for her left hand and then dropped it just as quick.

"Huh. I saw him put it on you… Did I miss something?" she asked. She concentrated for half a second, furrowing her brow, before she answered her own questions. "No. Wedding's still on."

"Bella has issues with jewelry," I explained.

"What's one more diamond? Well, I guess the ring has lots of diamonds, but my point is that he's already got one on…"

That did it, she'd revealed enough for one day, and I needed to put a stop to her before she gave away all of my secrets.

"Enough, Alice!" Cutting her off mid-sentence, angered. "We're in a hurry."

"I don't understand. What's that about diamonds?" Bella asked.

"We'll talk about it later," Alice said. "Edward is right –you'd better get going. You've got to set a trap and make camp before the storm comes." She frowned, anxiously, on the edge of being nervous. "Don't forget your coat, Bella. It seems… unseasonably cold."

She should be anxious, for when this was all over, and we were home, without Bella around, Alice would hear from me…

"I've already got it," I assured her.

"Have a nice night," she told us in farewell.

Taking twice as long as normal to get to the clearing, I took a longer detour, making certain her scent was unnoticeable from the trail Jacob would be taking. Carrying her in my arms, I had the backpack where she usually was.

Stopping at the farthest end of the clearing I set her on her feet.

"All right. Just walk north for a ways, touching as much as you can. Alice gave me a clear picture of their path, and it won't take long for us to intersect it."

"North?"

I smiled and pointed out the right direction.

She wandered into the woods, leaving the clearing behind us. As she walked, I followed along parallel with her, about twenty feet away, so that she wouldn't wander off the trail.

"Am I doing this right?" she called.

"Perfectly."

"Will this help?" she asked, as she pulled her fingers through her hair grabbing a few loose strands. She placed them over the ferns.

"Yes, that does make the trail stronger. But you don't need to pull your hair out, Bella. It will be fine."

"I've got a few extras I can spare."

Whatever made her happy, if that made her feel more helpful, so be it.

Not wanting to bring it up, I also wanted to reassure her that my plan could still be in effect. This was a touchy subject, but I needed her to know my position.

"You don't need to let Alice have her way, you know," I said.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I'm not going to leave you at the altar, regardless," she reassured me, and she wasn't sounding that angry after all.

"That's not what I'm worried about. I want this to be what you want it to be."

Being the truth, I wished for her to be happy about this. Not wanting her to feel as though I were holding a gun to her head. I wanted her to want this, as much as I did.

"Well, even if she does get her way, we can keep it small. Just us. Emmett can get a clerical license off the Internet."

She giggled. "That does sound better."

"See," I said with a smile. "There's always a compromise."

It took a while to reach the spot where the newborns were certain to cross Bella's trail, but that was fine because what was waiting for us when we finished with this particular task was unappealing to me. I would be required to allow her to go with him and I was not looking forward to that moment. In fact thinking about it was excruciating.

Leading a bit more on our way back, keeping her on the same path.

Just before coming to the clearing she fell causing me to immediately run to her side.

"Ouch! Oh, fabulous," she muttered.

"Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Stay where you are. I'm bleeding. It will stop in a minute."

Ignoring her, I stepped to her side, at once.

"I've got a first aid kit," I said, pulling off the backpack. "I had a feeling I might need it."

"It's not bad. I can take care of it –you don't have to make yourself uncomfortable."

"I'm not uncomfortable," I said calmly. "Here –let me clean it."

"Wait a second, I just got another idea."

She reached out pressing her hand against a nearby rock.

"What are you doing?"

"Jasper will love this," she muttered to herself. She started for the clearing again, pressing my palm against everything in her path. "I'll bet this really gets them going."

I sighed.

"Hold your breath," she told me.

"I'm fine. I just think you're going overboard."

"This is all I get to do. I want to do a good job."

Breaking through the last of the trees as she was speaking, allowing her injured hand graze across the ferns.

"Well, you have," I assured her. "The newborns will be frantic, and Jasper will be very impressed with your dedication. Now let me treat your hand –you've gotten the cut dirty."

"Let me do it, please."

Taking her hand, I smiled as I examined it. "This doesn't bother me anymore."

She watched me carefully as I cleaned the gash, she was looking for some sigh of distress. Continuing to breathe normally a small smile present.

"Why not?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I got over it."

"You… got over it? When? How?"

Thinking for a moment, searching for the right words to explain. "I lived through an entire twenty-four hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things."

"Did it change the way I smell to you?"

"Not at all. But… having experienced the way it feels to think I've lost you… my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain again."

She sat staring at me bewildered.

Smiling at her expression. "I guess that you could call it a very educational experience."

The wind tore through the clearing making her shiver.

"All right," I said, reaching into the pack again. "You've done your part." Pulling out her heavy winter jacket, holding it up for her to slide her arms in. "Now it's out of our hands. Let's go camping!"

She laughed at the mock enthusiasm in my voice.

Taking her bandaged hand –the other one being in worse shape, still in a brace –I started for the other side of the clearing.

"Where are we meeting Jacob?" she inquired.

"Right here," I gestured to the trees in front of us just as Jacob stepped warily from the shadows. He had is arms folded across his chest, a jacket clutched in one fist. His face was expressionless as he watched us.

Frowning as we had come to the moment I was dreading all day. "There had to have been a better way to do this."

"Too late now," she muttered glumly.

I sighed.

"Hey, Jake," she greeted him when we got closer.

"Hi, Bella."

"Hello, Jacob," I said.

Jacob ignored the pleasantry, all business. "Where do I take her?"

Pulling a map from a side pocket on the pack, I offered it to him. Jacob unfolded it.

"We're here now," I said, reaching over to touch the right spot. Jacob recoiled from my hand automatically, and then steadied himself. I ignored his behavior, knowing how difficult this was from him, I was grateful he was here.

"And you're taking her up here," I continued, tracing a serpentine pattern around the elevation lines on the paper. "Roughly nine miles."

Jacob nodded once.

"When you're about a mile away, you should cross my path. That will lead you in. Do you need the map?"

"No, thanks. I know this area pretty well. I think I know where I'm going."

Jacob worked hard to keep his tone polite, but his thoughts were not of the same tone.

"I'll take a longer route," I said. "And I'll see you in a few hours."

Staring at her uncomfortable with this part of the plan.

"See you," she murmured.

Fading into the trees, I headed in the opposite direction. My chest aching as I picked up the speed. Had I not run faster, I would have turned right around, changing my mind about this situation. The pain was more excruciating the further I ran, but we had a job to do and I would stick to the plan. Bella's safety was more important.

Running through the Olympic Mountains, I had to take the long way around, but I also needed to be there before, which I would be. Arriving first I would set up the camp and be certain that everything would be comfortable for her. She would already be anxiety stricken, with the fight happen below us, I didn't want her to be uncomfortable too.

Arriving at my destination, I stood looking around. This would be the setting for the time period I was required to sit and watch. Had I the strength to do that? I would have to, because there was no way I would bring Bella to the clearing and there was no way she would allow me to go without her.

Being at the top of the mountain on a little peak, this would be the best spot to defend ourselves if the need be. Not anticipating that any of them would find us up here, at the very least we would be blocked from most of the storm that would come our way.

Dropping the backpack, I went to work unpacking everything. The tent was first, setting that up and making certain it was tightly secured to the ground. Putting the sleeping bag in place, I also placed the food out in case Bella were hungry when she arrived.

With everything set up the waiting began. This, the worst part of any plan I seemed to come up with lately, waiting seemed to be how I spent most of my time. How to it come to be that I spent most of my existence doing the one thing I hated most –waiting? But, if waiting were what I was required to do to make her safe, then I would wait for an eternity. It was a small price to pay to ensure her existence.

Impatiently I paced back and forth, extending my extra-hearing as far as it would go. Listening for anything that would warn me of their arrival. Knowing it was too soon for them to arrive anticipation was washing threw me.

Being carried by him, in his arms, so close together… Maddening, that's what this was, making me insane with… jealous. Yes, I was jealous. How could I not be? He was able to do for her everything I couldn't, making me insane with jealousy. Keeping my sanity was that I knew what he thought. He felt the same as I had, but I did have one other thing that made him more jealous than me… I had her.

Attempting not to think about what was happening with them right now, my mind drifted to other things. Things such as this fight tomorrow that had me slightly worried for my family. In truth, I knew they could handle this without me, but there was the smallest part of me that was concerned about the outcome. If anything were to happen, to anyone of them…

So, this was not the best thing to think of when I was attempting to settle my mind. But these were the two most important things in my life, at the moment. How would I not think of either of them? There was nothing else to fill my mind with, nothing that could seem to absorb these thoughts.

My biggest fear was that something would go wrong, something we couldn't see because Alice was blind now that the wolves were involved. Without her sight anything could happen and we would have no warning. The only thing that settled my mind was that I would only be a minute away and could reach them in a moment's notice if needed.

Pulling me from my worried thoughts, I caught a whiff of Jacob. Within a minute I was able to hear them too. He was explaining to her how he was meant to be the chief, born the Alpha, since Sam had changed first it was assumed he was the chief, but when Jacob changed they realized he was meant to be the leader. Jacob didn't want the position and relinquished leadership to Sam.

Pacing faster, I knew they were only a few minutes out now. Thankful that he arrived earlier than expected as the wind was picking up and the snow was getting heavier. Bella needed to be in shelter from this storm.

"Bella!" I called out in relief.

Flashing to her side. Jacob cringed, and then set her on her feet. I ignoring his reaction I grabbed her in a tight hug.

"Thank you," I said over Bella's head, sincerely. "That was quicker than I expected, and I truly appreciate it."

Jacob merely shrugged. "Get her inside. This is going to be bad –my hair's standing up on my scalp. Is that tent secure?"

"I all but welded it to the rock."

"Good."

"I'm going to change," he said. "I want to know what's going on back home."

He hung his jacket on a low, stubby branch, and walked into the murky forest without a backward glance.

Pulling Bella toward the tent, Jacob was right this was going to be a bad storm, and I was already having second thoughts about staying.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	22. Chapter 22 - LONG NIGHT

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers**

22. LONG NIGHT

The wind was blowing fiercely against the tent, and Bella was shaking with the cold.

The temperature kept dropping. She lay fully dressed with a winter coat on, curled up in the sleeping bag. Even through all of that she was freezing, and there was nothing I could do about that. Anxiety ripped through me with the thought that I had failed her again. For me to bring her here, not to be better equipped, I couldn't even hold her. I felt useless as the wind whipped around the tent again and again.

"W-w-w-w-what t-t-t-t-time is it?" She stuttered threw her chattering teeth.

"Two," I answered.

Sitting as far from her as possible, afraid to even breathe for fear of making her colder. It was too dark for her eyes to see my face, which I was thankful for, as I hadn't wanted her to see the concern that was spread across it. Very frustrated, I sat with the indecision of making a run for it. Would we make if I were to run us down the mountain?

"Maybe…"

"No, I'm f-f-f-f-fine, r-r-really. I don't w-w-w-want to g-go outside."

Attempting to convince her to make a run for it about a dozen times now, she refused to go. Fear kept her here, if it were this cold in here, sheltered from the elements, then outside had to be even colder.

There was also the matter of tomorrow. She hadn't wanted to risk anything by altering the plan that was already in place. This was ridiculous to me and I wished she would allow me to take her out of here. But, her main concern was whether the trail she left this afternoon would survive the storm. Although I assured her it would, she was still nervous about it. Leave it to Bella to be worried about all the wrong things. The trail would mean nothing if she froze to death during this night.

"What can I do?" I begged.

She just shook her head.

Out in the snow, Jacob whined unhappily.

"G-g-g-get out of h-h-h-here," she ordered, again.

"He's just worried about you," I translated. "He's fine. His body is equipped to deal with this."

"H-h-h-h-h," was all she could force out.

Jacob whimpered, a high-pitched, but it was his thoughts that were irritating me.

"_You need to do something, she's freezing to death,"_ he said angrily.

"What do you want me to do?" I growled. "Carry her through that? I don't see you making yourself useful. Why don't you go fetch a space heater or something?"

"_This is ridiculous. We need to do something!"_ Jacob protested.

"I'm ok-k-k-k-k-kay," she protested.

The wind rocked the tent roughly, and Bella shuddered right along with it.

A sudden howl ripped through the roar of the wind, Bella covered her ears.

"_I'm coming in. I can keep her warm,"_ Jacob yelled.

"That was hardly necessary," I scowled. "And that's the worst idea I've ever heard," I called more loudly.

"Better than anything you've come up with," Jacob answered in his human voice. "Go fetch a space heater," he grumbled. "I'm not a St. Bernard."

Hearing the sound of the zipper, I was bracing myself.

Jacob slid through the smallest opening he could manage, while the arctic air flowed in around him, a few flicks of snow falling to the floor of the tent. This made Bella shiver harder.

"I don't like this," I hissed as Jake zipped the tent door shut. "Just give her the coat and get out."

This was not a good idea, having him here… in this close confined space… with me… not a good idea at all. Being strong –in control most of the time –Jacob could somehow bring out the no-so-patient side of myself. And, if I had trouble with control around him, I'm quite certain he would have more trouble being so close to me.

"W-w-w-w-w-w," Bella attempted to speak, but was too cold and shivered uncontrollably.

"The parkas for tomorrow –she's too cold to warm it up by herself. It's frozen." He dropped it by the door. "You said she needed a space heater, and here I am." Jacob held his arms out as wide as the tent would allow.

"J-J-J-Jake, you'll f-f-f-freez-z-z-ze," she attempted to protest.

"Not me," he said cheerfully. "I run at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine these days. I'll have you sweating in no time."

I snarled, but Jacob didn't even look at me. Instead, he crawled to Bella's side and started unzipping her sleeping bag.

This was impossible, to sit here and allow this, but how could I not? My selfish side was getting the better of myself… my hand suddenly came down hard on Jacob's shoulder, restraining him. Jacob's jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring, his body recoiling from my touch. The muscles in his arms flexed automatically.

"Get your hand off of me," he growled through his teeth.

"Keep your hands off of her," I answered coldly.

"D-d-d-don't f-f-f-f-fight," Bella pleaded.

"I'm sure she'll thank you for this when her toes turn black and drop off," Jacob snapped.

"_Stop it! She needs warming up. Are you going to deny her that?"_ He asked me.

Hesitating, my hand fell away as I slid back to my position in the corner. He was right, and I loathed that. Really what I loathed the most was the continuous need for him. He doing all of the things I couldn't –the list was just getting longer.

"Watch yourself," I warned sounding more like a vampire, then myself.

Jacob laughed.

"Scoot over, Bella," he said, zipping the sleeping bag open farther.

She stared at him outraged.

"N-n-n-n," she attempted to protest.

"Don't be stupid," he said. "Don't you like having ten toes?"

Cramming his body into the small space left in the sleeping bag. Bella finally stopped protesting, which had me believe she was already warming up. Grateful that she was more comfortable, a pain shot through my chest just the same. Remaining here, with his body held tightly against her, and there was absolutely nothing I could do. Nothing I wanted to do, for he was providing what she needed, being the most heartbreaking thing.

"Jeez, you're freezing, Bella," he complained.

"S-s-s-sorry," she stuttered.

"Try to relax," he suggested. "You'll be warm in a minute. Of course, you'd warm up faster if you took your clothes off."

Growling loudly, he sure knew how to irritate me.

"That's just a simple fact," Jacob defended himself. "Survival one-oh-one."

I knew better, I could hear his thoughts, they were not of the best intentions.

"C-c-cut it out, Jake," she said angrily. "N-n-n-n-nobody really n-n-n-n-needs all ten t-t-t-toes."

"Don't worry about the bloodsucker," Jacob suggested, his tone smug. "He's just jealous."

"Of course I am." I answered. "You don't have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you're doing for her, mongrel."

"Those are the breaks," Jacob said lightly, but then his tone soured. "At least you know she wishes it was you."

"True," I agreed, and that was the truth. As much as I loathed this moment, Jacob was right, he may be here now, but it was I who would be there for the rest of her life.

"There," Jacob said, pleased. "Feeling better?"

"Yes," Bella said in a normal voice. My concern was settling.

"Your lips are still blue," he mused. "Want me to warm those up for you, too? You only have to ask."

Sighing deeply, he wishes, he also knew that the only way he would kiss her again was if she were to ask him to, which would never happen. Wishing that he would attempt to right this minute, I also wouldn't jeopardize Bella's safety and he was pivotal to that at this moment.

"Behave yourself," Bella muttered.

His actions seemed to be working, as she was getting warmer and warmer. My nerves were calming –as much as they could with him around –and I was grateful to Jacob for his services. His thoughts on the other hand were infuriating. Unable to tell if he were just randomly thinking or if he were attempting to make me mad. It seems to be the latter of the two were most likely the motive; after all, I wasn't his favorite person.

The storm howled around the tent, but I was no longer concerned, for she was warm now and would be all right. It appeared that she was relaxing more and more. My wish was that she would sleep at least a little bit tonight.

"Jake?" she mumbled sleepily. "Can I ask you something? I'm not trying to be a jerk or anything, I'm honestly curious."

"Sure," he laughed as he remembered using the same words with her in conversation they had about me long ago in her kitchen.

"Why are you so much furrier than your friends? You don't have to answer if I'm being rude."

"Because my hair is longer," he said, amused.

"Oh," she sounded surprised with his answer. "Then why don't you cut it? Do you like to be shaggy?"

He wouldn't answer and I couldn't stop myself from laughing under my breath. His answer was just so amusing.

"Sorry," she said, pausing to yawn. "I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me."

Jacob made an annoying sound. "Oh, he'll tell you anyway, so I might as well… I was growing my hair out because… it seemed like you liked it better long."

"Oh," she said awkwardly. "I, er, like it both ways, Jake. You don't need to be… inconvenienced."

"Turns out to be very convenient tonight, so don't worry about it."

She was exhausted and her breathing grew slower and more even. Her eyelids dropped and shut as the silence lengthened. Hoping she would sleep I wasn't certain I could listen to any more of their conversation. As I've said before, sending her down to La Push was one thing, but sitting here listening to everything was a holy other thing.

"That's right, honey, go to sleep," Jacob whispered.

He was really pushing my control. Hearing him approaching, I was glad he was here.

"Seth is here," I muttered to Jacob.

"Perfect. Now you can keep an eye on everything else, while I take care of your girlfriend for you."

Bella groaned. "Stop it," she muttered.

Silence fell on the tent –well, at least no one was speaking. The wind ripped by outside shaking the poles of the tent every once in a while, keeping Bella from her slumber. Every time she appeared to fall asleep a noise from outside of the tent would keep her awake. Wanting to move next to her, to hum her lullaby to her, but I couldn't, leaving me feeling hopeless.

This was a feeling I hadn't quite got used to. Never being useless before, I was the one who usually resolved things. It was I who had the answers, who knew what to do. This was something I hadn't known how to deal with. Emotions were running rampant, control was difficult, but I refused to make her uncomfortable again. Doing anything would ensure his departure leaving her to freeze again. Impossible circumstances!

Then there was Jacob, who was not helping the situation at all.

"Please!" I hissed. "Do you mind?"

"What?" Jacob whispered back, surprised.

"Do you think you could attempt to control your thoughts?" I whispered, furious.

"No one said you had to listen," Jacob muttered, embarrassed. "Get out of my head."

"I wish I could. You have no idea how loud your little fantasies are. It's like you're shouting them at me."

"I'll try to keep it down," Jacob whispered sarcastically.

He was really trying my patience.

"_Jealousy, not a very good feeling, huh? I know how jealous you are of the things I can do with her. The fact that I could be with her in a way you never could, that has to make you jealous, too,"_ Jacob asked.

"Yes," I answered his thought in a low murmur, hoping Bella wouldn't hear. "I'm jealous of that, too."

"_I figured it was like that,"_ Jacob whispered smugly. _"Sort of evens the playing field up a little, doesn't it?"_

I laughed. "In your dreams."

Knowing the truth behind our abstinence would surprise him. Knowing that it was I who was holding out, that Bella was all too willing, would be crushing to him.

"_You know, she could still change her mind,"_ Jacob taunted me. _"Considering all the things I could do with her that you can't. At least, not without killing her, that is."_

"Go to sleep, Jacob," I murmured. "You're starting to get on my nervous."

That was the truth, the more he spoke the more irritated I became. His thoughts were on things that were none of his business, and I would never tell him the truth about any of that, anyway.

"I think I will. I'm really very comfortable."

Silence took over the tent once again. The only things I could hear were the thoughts swirling around Jacob's head.

"_Would you answer some questions for me?"_ Jacob asked.

"Maybe I would," I answered his unspoken question.

"_But would you be honest?"_

"You can always ask and see," I said amused, his questions were numerous.

"_Well, you see inside my head –let me see inside your tonight, it's only fair,"_ Jacob said.

"Your head is full of questions. Which one do you want me to answer?"

"The jealousy… it has to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."

Jacob's questioned were two sided, one he was attempting to understand us, and two he was looking for things to use against me in his plan to win over Bella. Being fully aware of his motives, I would answer his questions as honestly as I could. Feeling as though I owed Jacob, I felt compelled to answer his questions. The truth was, he was right, I was in his head all of the time… there really was no harm in allowing him in mine for one evening at least.

"Of course it is," I agreed, no longer amused. "Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."

"Do you think about it all the time?" Jacob whispered. "Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?"

"Yes and no," I said, determined to be honest. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm always able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

"_And she thinks of me often?"_ his thought was hopeful.

And just as he thought that, Bella began talking in her sleep. Rather she was mumbling tonight, nothing too audible.

"Edward. Edward stay…" This was normal talk for her. Saying something I'd wished she hadn't in his presence. "Jacob, my Jacob." The dog liked this very much, filling his mind with ridiculous thoughts.

"Yes, I would guess that she thinks about you often," I murmured. "More often than I like. She worries that you're unhappy. Not that you don't know that. Not that you don't use that."

"I have to use whatever I can," Jacob muttered. "I'm not working with your advantages –advantages like her knowing she's in love with you."

"That's helps," I agreed.

"She's in love with me, too, you know," Jacob said defiantly.

Already knowing this… this is what made me insanely jealous. Although, I was quite certain she loved me more, without hearing her thoughts there was no way to be positive. This was the reason behind my jealousy.

Jacob sighed. "But she doesn't know it."

"I can't tell you if you're right."

"Does that bother you? Do you wish you could see what she's thinking, too?"

"Yes… and no, again. She likes it better this way, and, though it sometimes drives me insane, I'd rather she was happy."

"_I can understand your position on that, I wish I knew what she was thinking, but on the other hand, I'm glad I don't know. Double edged sword, huh,"_ Jacob thought.

The wind ripped around the tent, shaking it like an earthquake. Jacob's arm tightened around Bella protectively.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Odd as this might sound, I suppose I'm glad you're here, Jacob."

This was the most unusual circumstance I'd ever found myself in. Being here, with him, joining forces to keep the one thing we both loved –and there was no doubt he loved her – safe, was not something I'd ever imagined happening.

"You mean, 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad she's warm,' right?"

"It's an uncomfortable truce, isn't it?"

"I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am," Jacob whispered, smugly.

"I'm not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do. It doesn't help your case, you know."

"You have more patience than I do."

"I should. I've had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for her."

Having much more experience with patience, he was way too young and impulsive. As I've said before that would be his demise, and in the mood I was in, I felt compelled to warn him of that.

"So… at what point did you decide to play the very patient good guy?"

"When I saw how much it was hurting her to make her choose. It's not usually this difficult to control. I can smother the… less civilized feelings I may have for you fairly easily most of the time. Sometimes I think she sees through me, but I can't be sure."

This was a fairly odd conversation –one that I never imagined having. The way I was answering all of his questions was surprising. Being honest with an enemy, allowing him to understand how we operated was not such a wise idea. For the moment, the truce was in place, but one day this night may come back to haunt me, and that hadn't seemed to bother me. The answers seemed to pour out of me when he asked them.

"I think you were just worried that if you really forced her to choose, she might not choose you."

Of course that was a fear, being one of the reasons I'd decided to change my attitude, but there were many more that were much more important than this one. I wasn't certain why, but I felt the need to share my reasoning with him. This feeling overwhelmed me and it was nothing like I've ever felt before.

"That was part of it," I finally admitted. "But only a small part. We all have our moments of doubt. Mostly I was worried that she'd hurt herself trying to sneak away to see you. After I'd accepted that she was more or less safe with you –as safe as Bella ever is –it seemed best to stop driving her to extremes."

Jacob sighed. "I'd tell her all of this, but she'd never believe me."

"I know." I said smiling.

Did he honestly think I would share all of this if I thought he would run right to her and tell her? Seeing in his head, he was unwilling to share half the thoughts he had of her, so I was fairly certain he would never reveal anything that would open that can of worms. He had his ulterior motives, but I had mine, too.

"You think you know everything," Jacob muttered.

"I don't know the future," I said, doubtful.

Jacob was thinking about all that was unmasked. He had many more questions forming in his head. I wondered how much I would tell him.

"What would you do if she changed her mind?" Jacob asked.

I wasn't sure why, but I hadn't thought he would ask that particular question… I was unprepared to answer that.

"I don't know that either."

Jacob laughed quietly. "Would you try to kill me?" his voice changing to one of doubt.

"No."

This was an easy answer, bringing me back to the classic story that Bella loved to read so much 'Wuthering Heights'. Remembering the part I'd read while she slept one night, the line 'I never would have raised a hand against him' stood out in my mind, and it was true. As long as she wanted him in her life I would oblige and no harm would come to him. Not on purpose anyway.

"Why not?"

"Do you really think I would hurt her that way?"

Jacob hesitated for a moment, but his thoughts were swirling. _"Yeah, you're right. I know that's right. But sometimes…"_

"Sometimes it's an intriguing idea."

Jacob covered his mouth with the sleeping bag to hide his laughter. "Exactly," he agreed.

Seeing it, in his thoughts, the different ways he'd planned to kill me. It was disturbing to see my own demise, but I also knew that none of his ideas would work. Relieving me to know that he wouldn't be much of a problem, most of his ideas were ludicrous. He knew this too, but his thoughts were instinctive, so I really couldn't fault him for them.

Sitting on his mind, was a question very painful for me to think about, talking about it seemed impossible, and I sat hopeful that he wouldn't ask, but he did.

"What is it like? Losing her?" Jacob asked, no hint of humor in his voice. "When you thought that you'd lost her forever? How did you… cope?"

"That's very difficult for me to talk about."

Jacob waited, wanting an answer.

"There were two different times that I thought that," speaking slower than normal. Unbelievable, I would speak of this, to him of all people, but I was going to. "The first time, when I thought I could leave her… that was… almost bearable. Because I thought she would forget me and it would be like I hadn't touched her life. For over six months I was able to stay away, to keep my promise that I wouldn't interfere again. It was getting close –I was fighting but I knew I wasn't going to win; I would have come back… just to check on her. That's what I would have told myself, anyway. And if I'd found her reasonably happy… I like to think that I could have gone away again.

"But she wasn't happy. And I would have stayed. That's how she convinced me to stay with her tomorrow, of course. You were wondering about that before, what could possibly motivate me… what she was feeling so needlessly guilty about. She reminded me of what it did to her when I left –what it still does to her when I leave. She feels horrible about bringing that up, but she's right. I'll never be able to make up for that, but I'll never stop trying anyway."

My explanation was turning around in Jacob's mind. He was debating how he would handle these situations.

"And the other time –when you thought she was dead?" Jacob whispered roughly.

He had troubling thinking of her as dead… as did I. But, he was not only thinking of the time I'd thought she was dead, he was wondering if that's how he'll feel when she was transformed into one of us.

"Yes." I answered his thought instead of his question. "It will probably feel like that to you, won't it? The way you perceive us, you might not be able to see her as Bella anymore. But that's who she'll be."

"That's not what I asked."

Snapping at him. "I can't tell you how it felt. There aren't words."

"But you left because you didn't want to make her a bloodsucker. You want her to be human."

I spoke slowly. "Jacob, from the second that I realized that I loved her, I knew there were only four possibilities. The first alternative, the best one for Bella, would be if she didn't feel as strongly for me –if she got over me and moved on. I would accept that, though it would never change the way I felt. You think of me as a… living stone –hard and cold. That's true. We are set the way we are, and it is very rare for us to experience a real change. When that happens, as when Bella entered my life, it is a permanent change. There's no going back…

"The second alternative, the one I'd originally chosen, was to stay with her throughout her human life. It wasn't a good option for her, to waste her life with someone who couldn't be human with her, but it was the alternative I could most easily face. Knowing all along that, when she died, I would find a way to die, too. Sixty years, seventy years –it would seem like a very, very short time to me… But then it proved much too dangerous for her to live in such close proximity with my world. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. Or hung over us… waiting to go wrong. I was terrified that I wouldn't get those sixty years if I stayed near her while she was human.

"So I chose option three. Which turned out to be the worst mistake of my very long life, as you know. I chose to take myself out of her world, hoping to force her into the first alternative. It didn't work, and it very nearly killed us both.

"What do I have left but the fourth option? It's what she wants –at least, she thinks she does. I've been trying to delay her, to give her time to find a reason to change her mind, but she's very… stubborn. You know that. I'll be lucky to stretch this out a few more months. She has a horror of getting older, and her birthday is in September…"

"I like option one," Jacob muttered.

Already knowing this, there was no need to express it.

"You know exactly how much I hate to accept this," Jacob whispered slowly, "but I can see that you do love her… in your way. I can't argue with that anymore.

"Given that, I don't think you should give up on the first alternative, not yet. I think there's a very good chance that she would be okay. After time. You know, if she hadn't jumped off a cliff in March… and if you'd waited another six months to check on her… Well, you might have found her reasonably happy. I had a game plan."

I laughed. "Maybe it would have worked. It was a well thought-out plan."

His plan was to wait for her, be everything she needed, pull her from zombie land and turn her around. He planned to win her over slowly, but of course, I put a wrench in that plan by showing back up in her life.

"Yeah." Jake sighed. "But…" suddenly he was whispering so fast the words got tangled, "give me a year, bl –Edward. I really thing I could make her happy. She's stubborn, no one knows that better than I do, but she's capable of healing. She would have healed before. And she could be human, with Charlie and Renee, and she could grow up, and have kids and… be Bella.

"You love her enough that you have to see the advantages of that plan. She thinks you're very unselfish… are you really? Can you consider the idea that I might be better for her than you are?"

"I have considered it," I answered quietly. "In some ways, you would be better suited for her than another human. Bella takes some looking after, and you're strong enough that you could protect her from herself, and from everything that conspires against her. You have done that already, and I'll owe you for that for as long as I live –forever –whichever comes first…

"I even asked Alice if she could see that –see if Bella would be better off with you. She couldn't, of course. She can't see you, and then Bella's sure of her course, for now.

"But I'm not stupid enough to force her into that first option again. As long as she wants me, I'm here."

"And if she were to decide that she wanted me?" Jacob challenged. "Okay, it's a long shot, I'll give you that."

"I would let her go."

"Just like that?"

Jacob always considered us selfish creatures, he had a hard time accepting anything else. He thought that I was staying purely out of selfishness, being able to let her go so easily lead him to believe I had no feelings. What he couldn't see was that Bella wanted me, and as long as she was happy, I would be here. It was all for her, everything was for her.

"In the sense that I'd never show her how hard it was for me, yes. But I would keep watch. You see, Jacob, you might leave her someday. Like Sam and Emily, you wouldn't have a choice. I would always be waiting in the wings, hoping for that to happen."

Jacob thought about that for a moment, knowing this had never occurred to him, until now. "Well, you've been much more honest than I had any right to expect… Edward. Thanks for letting me in your head."

"As I said, I'm feeling oddly grateful for your presence in her life tonight. It was the least I could do… You know, Jacob, if it weren't for the fact that we're natural enemies and that you're also trying to steal away the reason for my existence, I might actually like you."

"_Maybe… if you weren't a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love… well, no, not even then."_

I laughed, hearing his thoughts, I knew I was far more evolved then he was. Although I've had plenty more time to develop that, he was further ahead than I assumed he was. Having a question looming my mind for Jacob, I figured this was the best time to get an answer from him.

"Can I ask you something?" I said after a moment.

"Why would you have to ask?"

"I can only hear if you think of it. It's just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife…?"

"What about it?"

There it was, planted in his mind. The story was of a wife taking her own life to save that of her husband and children from a vampire. She took a dagger and shoved it straight into her heart, giving her husband –a wolf –the advantage he needed to defeat the vampire. I hissed at the thought, I should've realized it was something like this.

"What?" Jacob demanded again.

"Of course," I seethed. "Of course! I rather wish your elders had kept that story to themselves, Jacob."

"You don't like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?" Jacob mocked. "You know, they are. Then and now."

"I really couldn't care less about that part. Can you guess which character Bella would identify with?"

It took him a minute for him to see. "Oh. Ugh. The third wife. Okay, I see your point."

Her dreams were making sense now, seeing how determined she was to ensure everyone else's safety, satisfying me that I made the right decision in remaining. There was no telling what she was capable of in attempting to be at the clearing.

"She wants to be there in the clearing. To do what little she can, as she put it," I sighed. "That was the secondary reason for my staying with her tomorrow. She's quite inventive when she wants something."

"You know, your military brother gave her the idea just as much as the story did."

"Neither side meant any harm," I whispered.

"And when does this little truce end?" Jacob asked. "First light? Or do we wait until after the fight?"

There was silence as we both considered this. Really there wasn't much to consider, being natural enemies the answer was no surprise to either of us.

"First light," we whispered together, and then laughed quietly.

"Sleep well, Jacob," I murmured. "Enjoy the moment."

It was quiet again; the wind was still for a few minutes. Unfortunately, I could hear his thoughts clearly.

Groaning again. "I didn't mean that quite so literally."

"Sorry," Jacob whispered. "You could leave, you know –give us a little privacy."

"Would you like me to help you sleep, Jacob?" I offered.

"You could try," Jacob, said unconcerned. "It would be interesting to see who walked away, wouldn't it?"

"Don't tempt me too far, wolf. My patience isn't that perfect."

Jacob whispered a laugh. "I'd rather not move just now, if you don't mind."

Ignoring him, I began humming to myself, while imagining what it would be like to silence him forever. With these thoughts planted in my mind, I may just make it through this night. His thoughts were simply disgusting, and the worst part was that he'd fallen asleep, and was unaware of them. He wasn't attempting to make me angry, he was simply dreaming of her, which made this situation worse for me. Knowing the attachment he had to her, simply because he loved her, was difficult to hear about. Fully understanding his feelings, I reached a conclusion in this very significant evening. Jacob's feelings for Bella were a lot stronger than I had anticipated.

It was uncomfortable to know how heartbroken he would wind up in the end. Being there myself, for six months, I wouldn't have wished that on my worst enemy, but here he was, about to feel the same way.

Instead of dwelling on how this would affect Jacob, I decided to concentrate on the problem at hand. Tomorrow was a big day for us, and knowing that everything would go off without a hitch, concern still swept through me, knowing something could happen to my family. Not being there was not something I'd rather not think about. Knowing I couldn't help, that I wouldn't be there if something went wrong, was agonizing.

Concentrating suddenly became very challenging with the loud, annoying snoring coming from across the tent. I'd never heard anything so aggravating and loud in my existence. I wondered how Bella could sleep through that, if he continued that way, he'd never find anyone who would sleep next to him.

"_He can sure push out the octaves, huh?"_ Seth thought outside of the tent.

"My thoughts exactly, how do you put up with him?" I asked quietly.

"_Normally we don't sleep when were on watch,"_ he explained.

"I suppose. Everything all right out there?" I whispered.

"_All's quiet. Don't worry I'm keeping watch, I won't let you down,"_ he offered.

"Thank you, Seth. For all that you're doing, and everything you're going to do. It's not necessary for you to stay awake though. It's not like I'll fall asleep," I told him laughing.

"_That's true. Maybe, I'll sleep in a bit. Thanks." _

"No problem."

That ended our conversation. Seeing his thoughts, unlike Jacob, he had pure thoughts, simple, considering he was a child that wasn't surprising. But, not being around someone quite so young in a while, I'd forgotten just how innocent they could be. There were no prejudices against my kind, if fact, he seemed impressed with all that we were capable of. Perhaps, there was hope for all of us, after all. Seeing his acceptance of us gave me hope for the future.

The most impressive thing, I had to admit, was that this child appeared smarter than most of the adults around him. The mind of a child was a beautiful thing, making me sad once again, that I would never have that kind of potential. To father a child, to create something so wonderful, was one thing that would never happen for me. And, if Bella had her way, it would never happen for her either.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	23. Chapter 23 Danger

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**

23. DANGER

Morning broke bringing with it the sun. The winds calmed and the temperature began to rise. This day would not be as violent as the night was. Being one of the longest nights I've ever had, the pain of sitting here watching them, was excruciating. Hearing his dreams almost sent me over the edge a couple of times. Any truce that may have existed last night was void as the morning broke bringing with it the first sign of light.

My only solace to the vulgar thoughts in Jacob's head, were the innocent thoughts flowing from the young wolf outside. Without his pure and peaceful thoughts, he may have lost one of his pack members last night. Seth was an incredible young boy, who was eager to be at the fight today, but was disappoint that he would have to remain behind with us. Being rather glad that he would be here with me, after getting to know him better last night, it would concern me if he were involved today.

Bella began waking from her slumber, struggling to loosen herself from Jacob's hold. Meeting her gaze she seemed uncomfortable.

"Is it any warmer out there?" she whispered.

"Yes. I don't think the space heater will be necessary today."

Music to my ears knowing I was unable to take another minute of watching them together in this way. Also, knowing I was unable to listen to Jacob's dreams any longer, I'd reached my limit when it came to that.

She attempted to unzip the sleeping bag, but was having trouble fighting against Jacob's strength. Jacob muttered, still fast asleep, his arm restraining her, again.

"Some help?" she asked quietly.

I smiled. "Did you want me to take his arm all the way off?"

"No, thank you. Just get me free. I'm going to get heat stroke."

She asked, and I'm not sure why, well really, I had known why. Having an entire night of hearing his repeated thoughts about Bella had stretched my nerves tight. Reaching over rather abruptly, I unzipped the sleeping bag in a quick motion. Jacob spilled out onto the freezing ground of the tent.

"Hey!" he complained, his eyes flying open.

He rolled away, flinching from the cold, rolling right on top of Bella.

That did it… that was all I could take. Swiftly, I grabbed hold of Jacob with one hand and threw him across the tent where he flew into one of the tent poles shaking the entire tent.

Growling erupted from both of us, taking a fighting stance we both crouched to spring at each other. Placing myself between Jacob and Bella, he was quivering while growls were ripping angrily out of his chest. Angry snarls poured out of my throat, but my anger was not only from this moment, it had built up over night. Outside the tent, Seth's vicious snarls echoed off the rocks.

His thoughts ran rapid, but they were not of the nature I would have thought. He wanted us to stop –he wanted us to behave ourselves. Already knowing he was special, this fortified it for me. His thoughts along with Bella's protest began to calm me.

"Stop it, stop it!" she yelled, putting herself between the two of us, placing a hand on each of our chests. Wrapping my arm around her waist ready to pull her out of the way if necessary.

"Stop it, now," she warned me.

Jacob began to calm himself. The shaking slowed, but his teeth were still exposed, his eyes furiously focused on me. Seth continued to growl, a long unbroken sound, and a violent background to the silence that was now in the tent. His thoughts calmed me more.

"Jacob?" Bella asked, waiting until he looked at her. "Are you hurt?"

Great, just what I wanted, for her to be concerned about him. This plan worked perfectly, hadn't it? What was I thinking, of course, she would take his side.

"Of course not!" he hissed, clearly annoyed.

She turned to glare at me. I held her glare, angrily. "That wasn't nice. You should say sorry."

My face fell, disgusted. "You must be joking –he was crushing you!"

Groaning, this was unbelievable, and even though it was my fault, apologizing was the last thing I wanted to do. Slowly, I looked up to glare at Jacob, hostility clear in my eyes. "My apologies, dog."

"No harm done," Jacob said with an edge to his voice.

Bella appeared cold as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Here," I said, calm again. Taking the parka off the floor, wrapping it around her over her coat.

"That's Jacob's," she objected.

"Jacob has a fur coat," I retorted.

"I'll just use the sleeping bag again, if you don't mind." Jacob ignored me, climbing around us and sliding into the bag. "I wasn't quite ready to wake up. That wasn't the best night's sleep I ever had."

Why am I not surprised? Would I ever get rid of him today?

"It was your idea," I said impassively.

Jacob was curled up, his eyes already closed. He yawned. "I didn't say it wasn't the best night I've ever spent. Just that I didn't get a lot of sleep. I thought Bella was never going to shut up."

A sour point for me, she had said his name a couple of times. This sent pleasure throughout him… unfortunately for myself… I had to witness this, adding to the anger I was already feeling. This was a very trying night.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," I murmured.

Jacob's eyes flung open. "Didn't you have a nice night, then?" he asked, smugly.

"It wasn't the worst night of my life."

"Did it make the top ten?" Jacob asked, amused.

"Possibly."

Jacob smiled and closed his eyes. He was satisfied thinking he'd caused one night of agony for me. And, it was true, it was an awful evening, but I've had much worse in my years.

"But," I went on, "if I had been able to take your place last night, it would not have made the top ten of the best nights of my life. Dream about that."

Jacob's eyes opened to glare at me. He sat back up stiffly, clearly tense. I suppose I pushed the wrong button again, but he had it coming, he was just so annoying I couldn't help myself.

"You know what? I think it's too crowded in here."

"I couldn't agree more."

Bella elbowed me in the ribs –probably giving herself a bruise.

"Guess I'll catch up on my sleep later, then." Jacob said. "I need to talk to Sam anyway."

"Jake, wait…" she reached for him, her hand sliding down his arm.

He jerked his arm away before her fingers could grab a hold.

"Please, Jake? Won't you stay?"

"No."

The pain this caused was unbearable. Hearing her plea with him to stay was excruciating. He was so manipulative it was hard to watch. This was all a game to him, and he wanted to be on the winning side for a change. Knowing this wouldn't happen there was nothing I could say, I knew the pain he would be in all too soon.

"Don't worry about me, Bells. I'll be fine, just like I always am," he forced a laugh. "Sides, you think I'm going to let Seth go in my place –have all the fun and steal all the glory? Right," he snorted.

"Be careful…"

He shoved out of the tent before she could finish.

"Give it a rest, Bella," he said as he re-zipped the door.

All was quiet, as Bella leaned on my shoulder. We remained silent for a long time. My thoughts were all over the place, the fight, and the way she begged him to stay, my position in all of this.

"How much longer?" she asked.

"Alice told Sam it should be an hour or so," I said.

"We stay together. No matter what."

"No matter what," I agreed.

"I know," she said. "I'm terrified for them, too."

"They know how to handle themselves," I assured her. "I just hate missing the fun."

She thought about this for a moment.

Putting my arm around her shoulder. "Don't worry," I urged kissing her forehead.

"Sure, sure."

"Do you want me to distract you?" I breathed, running my fingers along my cheekbone.

She shivered, as the morning was still cold to her.

"Maybe not right now," I answered myself, pulling my hand away.

"There are other ways to distract me."

"What would you like?"

"You could tell me about your ten best nights," she suggested. "I'm curious."

Laughing, she wasn't the only one who was interested in this answer. "Try to guess."

Shaking her head. "There're too many nights I don't know about. A century of them."

"I'll narrow it down for you. All of my best nights have happened since I met you."

"Really?"

She wasn't the only one shocked by my answer. There were more ears listening then Bella was aware of.

"Yes, really –and by quite a wide margin, too."

She thought for a minute. "I can only think of mine," she admitted. "Well, there was the first night. The night you stayed."

"Yes, that's one of mine, too. Of course, you were unconscious for my favorite part."

"That's right," she remembered. "I was talking that night, too."

"Yes." I agreed.

That night was the most significant night of my existence. Hearing her say my name changed everything about me. That was a night that I would never forget. In all my years I have never felt anything close to the feelings I had when she whispered my name that night. It was as if the sun, moon and earth had all lined up and moved just for me. If I heard nothing else in this lifetime, or rather death… whatever, I would never hear anything more angelic than her calling to me in her sleep. This is probably the closest to God's paradise as I'm going to get.

"What did I say last night?" she whispered more quietly.

Without being able to answer her, I shrugged. Not wanting to remember, I certainly didn't want to tell her. This was uncomfortable.

"That bad?"

"Nothing too horrible," I sighed.

"Please tell me."

"Mostly you said my name, the same as usual."

"That's not bad," she agreed.

"Near the end, though, you started mumbling some nonsense about 'Jacob, my Jacob,'" This being a sore spot with me, hearing her saying his name pained me. Using his name in this context was excruciating. Feeling as though I was not as special as I believed, if she was willing to say his name, too. "Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot."

She stretched her neck up pressing her lips against my neck. I remained staring at the ceiling of the tent, bothered by the night I'd had.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "That's just the way I differentiate."

"Differentiate?"

"Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me," she explained.

"That makes sense," I said pleased by this explanation. It was ridiculous, the need to have her explain, but it had bothered me that she said his name. "Tell me another favorite night."

"Flying home from Italy."

I frowned. Strange she would have that one on her list. It was typical of her to list one of her favorite nights after we almost perished. This girl really had no sense of danger. When I think of Italy, which is not often because the entire episode was one of the worst of my existence, I think of all the things that I could lose. That was the first time in my existence that I had something to lose, something that meant more to me than myself and the thought of losing her or of her no longer existing in this world… especially because of my plans… I can't even think of those times and moments. Worse time ever, of course the plane ride home… when I had her safely in my arms and we were all safe and sound… one of the best times of my life, death… whatever.

"Is that not one of yours?" she wondered.

"No, it is one of mine, actually, but I'm surprised it's on your list. Weren't you under the ludicrous impression I was just acting from a guilty conscience, and I was going to bolt as soon as the plane doors opened?"

"Yes," she smiled. "But, still, you were there."

Kissing her hair, she was unbelievable. "You love me more than I deserve."

She laughed. "Next would be the night after Italy," she continued.

"Yes, that's on the list. You were so funny."

"Funny?" she objected.

"I had no idea your dreams were so vivid. It took me forever to convince you that you were awake."

"I'm still not sure," she muttered. "You've always seemed more like a dream than reality. Tell me one of yours, now. Did I guess your first place?"

My response was automatic, even with the extra sets of ears listening.

"No –that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."

She made a face.

"That doesn't make your list?" I asked heartbroken.

She thought about it for a long moment. "Yes… it does. But with reservations. I don't understand why it's so important to you. You already had me forever."

"A hundred years from now, when you've gained enough perspective to really appreciate the answer, I will explain it to you."

"I'll remind you to explain –in a hundred years."

"Are you warm enough?" I asked, hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't need that dogs services again. He was outside praying she would, and about to cause a commotion.

"I'm fine," she assured me. "Why?"

Before I could answer he began to howl, and ear-splitting howl, his pain overwhelmed him, and he was in agony. Hearing every word that was spoken between us drove him insane, but the worst the part was now he knew we were engaged.

There were no words to describe the sudden anguish that ran throughout his body, he was close to feeling as I had during my six months away from her. Pain ripped through his chest and I almost felt sorry for him.

Almost.

Feeling sympathy for him was complicated, because I knew this pain was self-inflicted. Jacob knew what he was getting involved in. There remained a small part of me –a very small part –that knew she was not the easiest person to walk away from. His feelings were strong, but I also knew that he would mend, unlike myself, he could continue on and find happiness. One day he would imprint on someone and it would be as if Bella never existed for him. How lucky he truly was.

"Because your space heater has reached his limit," I answered quickly. "Truce over," I added, so low that she wouldn't make it out.

"Jacob was listening," she whispered, not quite a question.

"Yes."

"You knew."

"Yes."

She remained quiet, so quiet it scared me. Had I pushed this too far?

"I never promised to fight fair," I reminded her quietly. "And he deserves to know."

Her head fell into her hands.

"Are you angry with me?"

"Not you," she whispered. "I'm horrified at me."

"Don't torment yourself," I pleaded.

"Yes," she agreed bitterly. "I should save my energy to torment Jacob some more. I wouldn't want to leave any part of him unharmed."

"He knew what he was doing."

"Do you think that matters?" she was on the edge of tears. "Do you think I care whether it's fair or whether he was adequately warned? I'm hurting him. Every time I turn around, I'm hurting him again." Her voice rested on the hysterical side. "I'm a hideous person."

Wrapping my arms around her tightly. "No, you're not."

"I am! What's wrong with me?" she struggled against my hold… I let my arms drop. "I have to go find him."

"Bella, he's already miles away, and it's cold."

"I don't care. I can't just sit here," she shrugged off Jacob's parka, shoved her feet into her boots, and crawled swiftly to the door. "I have to –I have to…" she didn't finish here sentence, only unzipped the tent and climbed out the door, into the cold morning.

Immediately following her out the door, I was panic-stricken. Having no idea she would react this way, blaming herself for what I've done. This was so wrong and I needed to mend it, now.

The sun was brightly shinning as I made my way out of the tent. Following her to the forest, she began to stumble toward the trees. Unable to let her leave, not now, it was too late for her to be wandering around the forest.

Seth was curled up on a patch of dry pine needles in the shadow of a thick spruce, his head on his paws. His thoughts were swirling, feeling the pain Jacob felt, leaving him feeling disloyal. Jacob had warned him to stay where he was, not to follow him, reminding him of the job he was here to do. Seth was confused about how to feel, he thought as I did, why would Jacob keep torching himself, but since he had, his loyalty fell on the side of the pack and remained with Jacob.

Following Bella, I hadn't reach out to stop her, until she was several paces into the forest shadows. My hand caught her left wrist, ignoring her when she attempted to yank herself free.

"You can't go after him. Not today. It's almost time. And getting yourself lost wouldn't help anyone, regardless."

She twisted her wrist, pulling uselessly. I refused to let her to leave.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I whispered. "I'm sorry I did that."

"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I did this. I did everything wrong. I could have… When he… I shouldn't have… I… I…" she was sobbing.

"Bella, Bella."

Folding my arms around her, she sobbed into my shirt, I was crushed, making her cry, yet again.

"I should have –told him –I should –have said –," she was quiet for a moment. "He shouldn't have –found out like this."

"Do you want me to see if I can bring him back, so that you can talk to him? There's still a little time," I murmured, feeling anguish over the pain I'd caused her.

She nodded into my chest, refusing to look at me.

"Stay by the tent. I'll be back soon."

Running fast down the mountain, I had to make this right, for her. It was childish and foolish of me to do what I had done. Stooping to his level was beneath me, but after a night like last night, I felt he had it coming. He was doing everything in his power to inflict pain on me, I felt as though it were my turn to return the jester. Infantile really, I was being ridiculous allowing someone like Jacob to get the best of me, but really how controlled had he thought I was. Everyone had a limit and I had reached mine.

Reaching the clearing, everyone was there. The first one to me was Alice.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to talk to Jacob," I answered.

"Do you really think this is the best time for that, Edward? I'm sorry, but I saw what happened. It was really stupid of you," Alice scorned me.

"Mind your business, Alice," I warned. "How long do we have?"

"I'm not sure. It's hard to see with them around," she waved to the wolves that were across the clearing.

"What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be watching something?" a loud voice yelled at me from across the field.

"Jacob, I needed to talk to you."

Immediately, everyone froze where they were and stared at Jacob and I who were reaching each other now. Tension rose very high all around us, feeling as though it would explode at the first sign of trouble. With more restraint and a little more understanding, I came to bring him back and one way or another he was coming.

"What's so important that you would risk leaving her alone to come here?" he asked angrily.

"I'm sorry. My behavior was improper and I apologize," I offered.

"Whatever. You never said you'd fight fair. It doesn't really matter. Now get back and take care of her," he ordered me.

"She wants to see you. Now. Please come back."

"Why should I? She made her choice. She can live with it," he scowled.

"She's very upset, Jacob. She blames herself for what we've done. The least you can do is come and hear her out," I said angrily.

He glared at me for a moment. "Fine."

Together we took off toward the forest, making our way up the mountain, once more. We were silent on the way back. Only his thoughts were audible.

I hope you're happy. You did this, not me. He felt the need to share this with me.

This was a fact I was well aware of, it was not necessary to remind me. But, his maneuvers were just as foolish as mine, nothing to be proud of. The truth was we were both acting very childish and it would have to stop. There would be no more stunts, from my side anyway. Already having her I had no reason to act this way. My wish is that he would see how upset she was and stop his juvenile stunts, too.

Before we arrived back, Seth growled a warning.

"It's just us, Seth," Jacob called out.

Walking back into the campsite, Bella was pacing frantically. Coming into view first, Seth came over to greet me, looking intently into my eyes. I nodded slowly.

"_Alice told Sam that the Volturi were on their way,"_ Seth told me.

"Yes, that' all we need," I muttered to myself, then addressed him. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. But the timing is going to be very close. Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule down better."

"_Sure thing, Edward,"_ Seth agreed.

Bella stood staring at Jacob.

"Bella," I murmured, moving beside her. Staring down at her with concern. She was still so upset. "There's a bit of a complication," I told her. "I'm going to take Seth a little ways away and try to straighten it out. I won't go far, but I won't listen, either. I know you don't want an audience, no matter which way you decide to go," my voice breaking from the pain.

"Hurry back," she whispered.

Kissing her lightly on the lips, then disappearing into the forest with Seth at my side. Seth and I continued down the mountain, far enough away that I wouldn't be tempted to listen to their conversation. Seth ran along the side of me. It was unusual having him beside me. He was listening to the clearing and what was happening there.

We stopped half way between the clearing and the camp. If their conversation was going to be a long one, I would have to replace Jacob in the clearing. Having no other choice, selfishly I was hoping Jacob would take his time. What I wouldn't give to be in that clearing today.

Hearing everyone at the clearing, the anticipation was high in the air. Alice was attempting to nail down the timing better. Emmett was geared up and waiting impatiently. Jasper was giving everyone last minute instructions. Carlisle and Esme were standing with their hands interlocked and the heads pressing together.

Carlisle was praying, wishing was more the word, that something would happen and none of this would be necessary. Somewhere deep down I wished his prayer would be answered, but I knew it wouldn't. Alice had just nailed down the schedule better. From what she could see everything would work as we had anticipated, making me more comfortable about the fact I would not be there.

The wolves were on the opposite side of the clearing. Laying down in formation they were watching and listening to everything that was going on. They seemed uncomfortable not having the ability to communicate. Without Jacob there in human form, or myself to speak for them, they had no way of communicating. Sam was considering changing to human form.

Seth and I stood listening to everything that was happening. He was just as disappointed as I was about not being there.

"Seth, tell Sam that Jacob will be back, or I'll step in. Tell him not to worry."

Seth told Sam what I'd said. Then turned to me and I could hear Sam.

"_Thank you, Edward, for the information,"_ Sam offered.

Looking at Seth, his opinion was written all over him, I shared his view.

"It's okay, Seth. I'm sure there'll be other times for you," I reassured him.

"_I know, but I wanted to be there this time,"_ he said.

"I know, me too. At least we can witness what happens. It would be far worse if we couldn't see. Ask Sam about the schedule, please," I reminded him.

He just nodded as I felt his disappointment. Unbearable to think we had to sit and watch, but that's what I'd promised, so that's what I'd do, for her. Seth had followed my instructions and asked Sam, but he had no answer, yet.

"_Who are the Volturi?"_ he asked.

"Nobody you need to worry about. You'll never face them, I promise."

Everyone appeared set in the clearing and the time was quickly advancing. Perhaps, I would get my chance after all. With no sign of Jacob, I began to think I would be replacing him. Anticipation began to spread within, as I thought of this, until –he came running down the mountain full of joy and ready to fight. Resisting his thoughts, I'd rather not hear what he had to say at this moment. I'd wait for Bella to tell me, if she so desired.

Seth and I made our way back up to the camp. Arriving outside the tent, Seth glared at me in a strange way, he too, I blocked for I knew he had a clear vision of what happened. Approaching the tent, unsure I wanted to go in. What if she changed her mind? With the way Seth was looking at me I was uncertain. Was I ready for this? I suppose I had to be.

Hesitantly, I unzipped the door and went in.

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


	24. Chapter 24 Choice

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.**

24. CHOICE

Bella was lying across the sleeping bag crying. That was not a good sign. Seeing her so upset, along with seeing Jacob so joyful, leaving me no indication as to what happened? These were the very moments I desired to hear her thoughts. Not knowing was agonizing and not a feeling I'd become comfortable with, yet. The inadequate feeling was getting worse as time went on. Taking a deep breath, I crossed the tent and brushed my hand across her hair. Bella shuddered, another bad sign.

"Are you all right?" I murmured, anxiously. Her reaction was confusing and this was not the atmosphere I thought I'd being walking into.

"No. I want to die."

Angered by that statement, prompting me to wonder what really happened?

"That will never happen. I won't allow it."

She groaned and then whispered. "You might change your mind about that."

This was worse than I'd predicted, for her to be speaking this way. Although, I knew the answer to this question, it would hopefully open the discussion to what occurred.

"Where's Jacob?"

"He went to fight," she mumbled into the floor.

This was it, all I could take, I needed to know what happened, before I went out of my mind with worry. Listening to Seth outside of the tent, he was replaying the whole story, the picture was clear. "Oh," I finally said, then went quiet again as I listened to the rest of the story.

When Seth finished I couldn't help but laugh, but it was a reserved laugh.

"And I thought I fought dirty," I said with reluctant admiration. "He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics." Brushing my hand against the part of her cheek that was exposed. "I'm not mad at you, love. Jacob's more cunning than I gave him credit for. I do wish you hadn't asked him, though."

"Edward," she whispered, refusing to look at me. "I… I… I'm…"

"Shh," I hushed her, my fingers rubbing her cheek. "That's not what I meant. It's just that he would have kissed you anyway –even if you hadn't fallen for it –and now I don't have an excuse to break his face. I would have really enjoyed that, too."

The image of doing permanent damage to him brought me such pleasure. He had it coming, his games were out of control. It was one thing to attack me when he could, but to go after Bella, was a holy other thing… unacceptable.

"Fallen for it?" she mumbled.

She was so naive… so innocent… she would never dream of acting in such ways that Jacob and I had been. It was unfair of us to put her through this, and after last night's performance, I'd promised to stop behaving in such a manner. But, I couldn't control Jacob's behavior.

"Bella, did you really believe he was that noble? That he would go out in a flame of glory just to clear the way for me?"

She raised her head slowly to meet my gaze. And right there… that was the reason I loved her so much… she was so trusting, blinded to what he was doing.

"Yes, I did believe that," she muttered, and then looked away.

Laughing quietly. "You're such a bad liar, you'll believe anyone who has the least bit of skill."

It would never occur to her that he was lying, never crossing her mind that he would be that devious. Always trusting the wrong people. She trusted me even after I led her straight into a world of danger, and the worst part was she would still follow me anywhere.

"Why aren't you angry with me?" she whispered. "Why don't you hate me? Or haven't you heard the whole story yet?"

"I think I got a fairly comprehensive look," I said. "Jacob makes vivid mental pictures. I feel almost as bad for his pack as I do for myself. Poor Seth was getting nauseated. But Sam is making Jacob focus now."

She closed her eyes and shook her head against the tent floor. She was feeling dreadful, which left me knowing it were my fault, having started all of this in the first place. My childish behavior last night set everything in motion making me feel like a heel.

"You're only human," I whispered, stroking her hair again.

"That's the most miserable defense I've ever heard."

She may have thought it was a poor excuse, but it was the truth. There were more things at play here, things she knew nothing about. How could I fault her for her feelings? Jacob and I were playing with her emotions and expecting her to realize this was unfair.

"But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he… There are holes in your life that I can't fill. I understand that."

"But that not true. That's what makes me so horrible. There are no holes."

Whether or not she wanted to admit it she had emotional issues that I was unable to understand. Human problems, human emotions and as much as I wanted to be everything for her, I couldn't be human. She needed human friends –and that's what he was –a human friend that she loved. He wished it were deeper, and after today's actions, perhaps his wishes were more of a reality then she knew.

"You love him," I murmured.

She thought about this for a moment.

"I love you more," she said.

"Yes, I know that, too. But… when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark –on both of you. I'm not sure those kinds of stitches can dissolve on their own. I can't blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn't let me escape the consequences.

"I should have known you'd find some way to blame yourself. Please stop. I can't stand it."

It was difficult not to blame myself when this was my fault… for leaving in the first place… for making her dependent on him in my absence. If I had not been so obtuse a year ago, we won't be in this position. But, I had been, leaving me to deal with whatever ramifications came from my actions.

"What would you like me to say?"

"I want you to call me every bad name you can think of, in every language you know. I want you to tell me that you're disgusted with me and that you're going to leave so that I can beg and grovel on my knees for you to stay."

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I can't do that."

"At least stop trying to make me feel better. Let me suffer. I deserve it."

"No," I murmured.

She nodded slowly. "You're right. Keep on being too understanding. That's probably worse."

Seth's thoughts caught my attention, it was getting closer and he was growing anxious, as was I. My body automatically tensed in anticipation of what was happening in the clearing. Everyone was getting ready.

"It's getting close," she stated.

"Yes, a few more minutes now. Just enough time to say one more thing…"

Needing to clear the air, wanting to put blame back where it belonged, I could no longer allow her to take responsibility for the way Jacob and I were behaving. It wasn't fair to Bella, and she had to know she wasn't to blame.

"I can be noble, Bella. I'm not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy, and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that's better. Don't let any debt you feel you owe me influence your decision."

All right, that's not exactly what I planned to say, but it would work too. Letting her off the hook, allowing her to decide of her own free will where she'd rather be. The decision would always be hers.

"Dammit, stop that!" she shouted at me.

Glaring at her surprise wide in my eyes. "No –you don't understand. I'm not just trying to make you feel better, Bella. I really mean it."

"I know you do," she agreed. "What happened to fighting back? Don't start with the noble self-sacrifice now! Fight!"

What was she talking about? Comprehension was not setting in leaving me mystified. What was it she wanted me to do?

"How?" I asked, pained.

She scrambled into my lap, throwing her arms around me.

"I don't care that it's cold here. I don't care that I stink like a dog right now. Make me forget how awful I am. Make me forget him. Make me forget my own name. Fight back!"

She didn't wait for me to say anything –or have the chance to stop her. She pulled herself against me and crushed her mouth to mine. This was not fighting back, this was something altogether different, and I was an unwilling participant.

"Careful, love," I murmured under her urgent kiss.

"No," she growled.

Gently I pushed her face a few inches back. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I'm not trying to prove something. You said I could have any part of you I wanted. I want this part. I want every part."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, straining to reach my lips. Bending my head I kissed her back, but it was gentle, not quite as urgent as hers. Being aware of what she was attempting to do, I couldn't allow this to happen under these conditions. Moving my hands I restrained her.

"Perhaps this isn't the best moment for that," I suggested.

"Why not?" she grumbled, dropping her arms.

Was she serious, she had to know this wouldn't happen this way? Had she utterly lost her mind? Or had we pushed her too far with our infantile behavior. The latter of the two seemed most plausible to me. Needing to set straight… she needed to understand my position in all of this.

"Firstly, because it's cold," I reached out to pull the sleeping bag off the floor, and wrapped it around her.

"Wrong," she said. "First, because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire."

I laughed. "All right, I'll give you that. The cold is second. And thirdly… well, you do actually stink, love."

Wrinkling my nose at the disgusting smell.

She sighed.

"Fourthly," I murmured, dropping my head to whisper in hear ear. "We will try, Bella. I'll make good on my promise. But I'd much rather it wasn't in reaction to Jacob Black."

She cringed, and buried her face against my shoulder. Coming to the realization that I was right. Doing this out of reaction to what just happened was wrong and she realized that. I was obligated to return her to reality.

"And fifthly…"

"This is a very long list," she muttered.

I laughed. "Yes, but did you want to listen to the fight or not?"

As I spoke, Seth howled outside the tent, it had begun.

Bella stiffened listening to the sound. Clenching her hand into a fist, reaching over I smoothed her hand out so she wouldn't hurt herself again. Needing to reassure her, with everything I'd seen from Alice along with watching the practices that had taken place, I was confident that everything would go well

"It's going to be fine, Bella," I promised. "We've got skill, training, and surprise on our side. It will be over very soon. If I didn't really believe that, I would be down there now –and you'd be here, chained to a tree or something along those lines."

"Alice is so small," she moaned.

I laughed. "That might be a problem… if it were possible for someone to catch her."

Seth started to whimper. Upset he jumped to his feet.

"What's wrong?" she demanded.

"He's just angry that he's stuck here with us. He knows the pack kept him out of the action to protect him. He's salivating to join them."

We listened more intently now. It was an odd having the views I had. My family provided me with a clear picture of everything. The wolves were also afforded me with every other angle. All angles were covered, leaving nothing unseen, generating excitement in me. Sharing Seth's desire to be there with them.

"The newborns have reached the end of the trail –it worked like a charm, Jasper's a genius –and they've caught the scent of the ones in the meadow, so they're splitting into two groups now, as Alice said," I murmured, my eyes focused on their arrival. "Sam's taking us around to head off the ambush party."

Looking down at Bella. "Breathe, Bella."

Seth was panting heavily outside of the tent. Salivating to run down the mountain and join the fight, I couldn't blame him; I was tempted to do just that. It was extremely difficult to hold our selves here. He was having an easier time because he had been ordered, but I wanted to be there just as bad and was having a hard time remaining here.

"The first group is in the clearing. We can hear the fighting."

Bella's teeth locked together.

Laughing once, I continued. "We can hear Emmett –he's enjoying himself."

She and Seth were breathing together now.

"The second group is getting ready –they aren't paying attention, they haven't heard us yet."

I growled as their attention was focused on someone I'd rather it not be.

"What?" she gasped.

"They're talking about you." Clenching my teeth. "They're supposed to make sure you don't escape… Nice, move, Leah! Mmm, she's quite fast," I murmured. "One of the newborns caught our scent, and Leah took him down before he could even turn. Sam's helping her finish him off. Paul and Jacob got another one, but the others are on the defensive now. They have no idea what to make of us. Both sides are feinting… No, let Sam lead. Stay out of the way," I muttered. "Separate them –don't let them protect each other's back."

Seth whined. We could see as if we were there, but we weren't, making this situation challenging. Watching without being able to help was agonizing. Without the ability to warn them when something was happening felt wrong. Envying Bella at this moment, her inability to see had to be better than how I was feeling.

"That's better, drive them toward the clearing," I approved. Shifting my weight as if I was there, and by all the views I had, it almost felt as if I was there.

Almost.

Seth was on his feet in a minute, hearing exactly what I'd heard. Frozen in place, we listened more intently. Danger was approaching requiring us to take action quickly. Standing up I ripped the tent apart bringing us out doors. Bella remained were she was stunned, unaware of what had just suddenly happened.

Seth immediately came to stand in front of me, his face not six inches from mine. We glared at each other while listening to the approaching danger.

Should I go and hide… surprise them? Seth asked.

"Go, Seth!" I whispered, urgently.

The wolf wheeled and disappeared into the forest.

Reaction flowed through my mind, leaving no time to explain to Bella what was happening. Picking her up I swiftly placed her against the cliff face. Standing in front of her I held my fighting stance. Being reminiscence of our time in Italy, I was certain she would figure out quickly that we were the ones in trouble here.

The danger was getting closer… there were two of them… Victoria and Riley. Reading every bit of their minds, I had to find an edge, something that would help me defeat them. His mind was focused only on Bella, his mission, find her and kill her. Pleasing Victoria was his goal and he would do anything for her.

Bella became stiff behind me as comprehension was setting in.

"Who?" she whispered.

Words ripped through my teeth in a snarl, louder than I planned. Too loud.

"Victoria," I said. "She's not alone. She crossed my scent, following the newborns in to watch –she never meant to fight with them. She made a spur-of-the-moment decision to find me, guessing that you would be wherever I was. She was right. You were right. It was always Victoria."

Too late to hide… we were trapped. With no way to escape this would take place in front of Bella. Wishing I could get her out of here, keeping the violence that was about to partake from her was impossible leaving me with no other choice.

They were close enough to hear their thoughts.

Bella stood terrified… trembling behind me. Comforting her, impossible. Unable to run her out of here fast enough –we would have to stay and fight our way out of here. Loathing this, the feeling of being trapped, not wanting her to see me this way. Witnessing this would terrify her even more… Victoria was not leaving here… not today.

Shifting my body slightly toward the way they would enter. My eyes focused on the shadows of the forest, they were only seconds away. No time to tell Bella anything… only time to plan my strategy.

The two edged slowly into the small opening of our camp, eyes intent, missing nothing. Victoria's thoughts swirled seeing just the two of us. Underestimating me… she assumed they couldn't lose. Her plan was to have Riley distract me while she attacked Bella. Knowing this plan… it wouldn't work.

Coming from both sides, he on one and she on the other. My focus was on the both of them, while I listened to their thoughts, they thought they had the element of surprise. There would be no element of surprise with me listening to all of their thoughts.

Victoria stared at only Bella, her eyes black with thirst. Tension rolled off her, nearly visible in the air. Feeling her desire, the all-consuming passion flowing through her. Her focus was placed on one thought and that remained on killing Bella.

Turning my attention to the boy, his thoughts had shifted, his eyes deep crimson, he was not as thirsty. He held one thought in his mind…me. His role here was to attack me, keeping me distracted as Victoria finished off Bella.

He was young, brand new to this world and easily influenced. Victoria was his world and he would do anything she asked of him. It was unfortunate, but there was no alternative to his thoughts, the hold she had on him unbreakable.

Standing, silent for a moment, no one willing to make the first move. All of my focus on their plans, making certain they were unable to get to Bella.

Bella's heart was pounding so loud I thought I would jump right out of her chest. With no way to warn her, assure her, she would be all right, I couldn't take my attention off these two, at this moment.

An immense distance away, from far across the black forest, a wolf's howl echoed in the still air. Seth sending a warning to the other wolves. There was so much going on in the clearing there would be no help coming.

Riley looked at Victoria from the corner of his eye, waiting on her command.

Victoria jerked her chin toward me, wordlessly ordering him forward.

"Riley," I said in a soft, pleading voice.

The boy froze, his red eyes widening. Picking from his mind my angle, if I could distract him long enough, we would have a chance here. I saw a small gap, my one chance to tip the scales in my favor.

"She's lying to you, Riley," I told him. "Listen to me. She's lying to you just like she lied to the others who are dying now in the clearing. You know that she's lied to them, that she had you lie to them, that neither of you were ever going to help them. Is it so hard to believe that she's lied to you, too?"

Confusion swept across Riley's face. My plan was working. Victoria's fury was building.

Shifting a few inches to the side, Riley automatically compensated with an adjustment of his own.

"She doesn't love you, Riley," I told him. "She never has. She loved someone named James, and you're no more than a tool to her."

When I said James name, Victoria pulled her lips back baring her teeth in a grimace. Her eyes stayed locked on Bella. Undistracted she was intent on her mission here.

Giving me the advantage, Riley was becoming more confused, casting a frantic glance in her direction. Distracting him was working so I continued.

"Riley?" I said.

Riley automatically refocused on me. Keeping up the conversation, I needed a little more time.

"She knows that I will kill you, Riley. She wants you to die so that she doesn't have to keep up the pretense anymore. Yes –you've seen that, haven't you? You've read the reluctance in her eyes, suspected a false note in her promises. You were right. She's never wanted you. Every kiss, every touch was a lie."

Moving again, a few inches toward the boy, a few inches away from Bella.

Victoria's gaze zeroed in on the gap between Bella and I. It would take her less than a second to kill Bella –she only needed the tiniest margin of opportunity.

Slower this time, Riley repositioned himself, anxious and confused.

"You don't have to die," I promised, my eyes holding the boy's. "There are other ways to live than the way she's shown you. It's not all lies and blood, Riley. You can walk away right now. You don't have to die for her lies."

Sliding my feet forward, to the side, leaving a foot of space between Bella and myself now. Riley circled too far, overcompensating this time. Victoria leaned forward onto the balls of her feet in anticipation. This distracted the both of them, which was my strategy, needing one more minute. The timing had to be perfect.

"Last chance, Riley," I whispered.

Riley's face was desperate as he looked to Victoria for answers. With the confusion he felt he needed her reassurance.

"He's the liar, Riley," Victoria said. "I told you about their mind tricks. You know I love only you."

Riley's jaw tightened, and he squared his shoulders. His eyes emptied –there was no more confusion, no more suspicion. His thoughts seized as he tensed himself to attack.

Victoria's body seemed to be trembling… she was so tightly wound. Her fingers were already claw's, waiting for me to move just one more inch away from Bella.

A snarl flew across the camp, as a tan shape flew through the center of the opening, throwing Riley to the ground.

"No!" Victoria cried in disbelief.

Seth ripped and tore at the blond vampire beneath him. Biting his hand off, he flung it, smacking into the rocks by Bella's feet. She cringed away from it.

Victoria, not sparing one glance, for the boy she'd just pledged her love to, remained focused on Bella. Filled with disappointment so ferocious that she looked deranged.

"No," she said again, through her teeth, as I started to move toward her, blocking her path to Bella.

Riley was on his feet again, looking disoriented and haggard, but he was able to fling a vicious kick into Seth's shoulder. Hearing the bone crunch, Seth backed off and started to circle, limping. Knowing he would heal, he just needed a minute. Riley had his arms out, ready, though he was missing part of one hand…

Victoria and I were dancing. Not quite circling, because I would not allow her to position herself closer to Bella. She sashayed back, moving from side to side, attempting to find a hole in my defense. Shadowing her footwork lithely, stalking her with perfect concentration. Moving a fraction of a second before she moved, reading the intentions in her thoughts. My mind was also keeping an eye on Seth.

He lunged at Riley from the side tearing the rest of Riley's arm with a grating screech. Seth threw the arm into the forest with a thud. Riley roared in fury as Seth skipped back –amazingly light on his feet for his size –as Riley took a swipe at him with one mangled hand.

Victoria was weaving through the tree trunks at the far end of the little opening now. She was torn, her feet pulling her toward safety, while her eyes yearned toward Bella as if she were a magnet, reeling her in. Her eyes had a burning desire to kill Bella clearly visible in them, weighting against her instinct survival.

"Don't go, Victoria," I murmured. "You'll never get another chance like this."

She showed her teeth and hissed at me, but appeared unable to move farther away from Bella. She knew it was now or never, confusion was swirling her mind.

"You can always run later," I purred. "Plenty of time for that. It's what you do, isn't it? It's why James kept you around. Useful, if you like to play deadly games. A partner with an uncanny instinct for escaping. He shouldn't have left you –he could have used your skills when we caught up to him in Phoenix."

A snarl ripped from between her lips. She was growing angrier which was my plan.

"That's all you ever were to him, though. Silly to waste so much energy avenging someone who had less affection for you than a hunter for his mount. You were never more than a convenience to him. I would know."

My lips pulled up on one side as I tapped my temple.

With a strangled screech, Victoria darted out of the trees again, feinting to the side. I responded, and the dance began again.

Just then, Riley's fist caught Seth's flank, and a low yelp coughed out of Seth's throat. Seth backed away, his shoulders twitching as he attempted to shake off the pain. Riley was closing the distance between them again, driving Seth toward the cliff face beside Bella. My attention was shifting from my fight to Seth's, determined to watch out for him.

Victoria was suddenly interested in her partner's fate. She was judging the distance between Riley and Bella. Seth snapped at Riley, forcing him back again, and Victoria hissed at the lost opportunity.

Seth wasn't limping anymore. His circling brought him within inches of me, his tail brushing against my back, and Victoria's eyes bulged.

"No, he won't turn on me," I said, answering her thoughts, using the distraction to slide closer. "You provided us with a common enemy. You allied us."

She clenched her teeth, trying to keep her focus on me alone. She was not happy with this information, she'd had hoped Seth would attack me. Flashes of an encounter she and James had once with a wolf entered her mind. She thought she knew all about wolves.

"Look more closely, Victoria," I murmured, pulling at the threads of her concentration. "Is he really so much like the monster James tracked across Siberia?"

Her eyes popped wide open, and then began flickering wildly from me to Seth to Bella, around and around. "Not the same?" she snarled. "Impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible," I murmured, moving another inch closer to her. "Except what you want. You'll never touch her."

She shook her head, fast and jerky, fighting my diversions, and attempted to duck around me, but I was in place to block her as soon as the plan entered her mind. Her face contorted in frustration, and then she shifted lower into her crouch, and stalked deliberately forward.

Victoria was no inexperienced, instinct-driven newborn. She was lethal.

Sifting, we were closing in on each other. The dance increased in tempo.

Riley was distracted by the violent ballet, his eyes anxious for his partner. Seth struck, crunching off another small piece of the vampire. Riley bellowed and launched a massive backhanded blow that caught Seth full in his broad chest. Seth's huge body soared ten feet and crashed into the rocky wall over Bella's head. Bella ducked out of the way as Seth rebounded off the stone and collapsed on the ground a few feet in front of her.

A low whimper escaped through Seth's teeth.

My own fight was turning deadly as I prepared to stop this woman vampire from tainting good air. Escaping was impossible… I would not allow it. Tears and gasps, along with shocked hissings were increasing, and our dance became more aggressive. She moved, but I moved faster, always keeping one step ahead of her.

Riley lurched toward Bella. He glared at the limp mountain of sand-colored fur between him and Bella. His mouth opened, widened, his teeth glistening, as he prepared to rip out Seth's throat.

My mind was working overtime, watching everything that was happening at once. Timing was everything in this moment, and my timing would have to be perfect. Watching both situations intently, deciding what my best move would be.

Shock and confusion suddenly ripped threw me. Attempting to gain perspective, my mind clouded for a brief moment. The scent washed over the little camp quickly and if I had a heart it would've have stopped dead at that moment. This was a scent clear in my mind, and it took an entire second to understand what had happened.

A gasp was all it took to distract me.

A gasp was all it took to distract everyone in that moment.

In the next moment, I could clearly hear the beating of Bella's heart, and knew she was fine.

Taking action quickly, my chance had come and the timing was perfect. With Victoria's attention on Bella, I grabbed a hold of her throwing her into a tall spruce about halfway up the tree. She dropped back to the earth already crouched to spring.

Simultaneously, I twisted backward and caught the unsuspecting Riley by the arm. Planting my foot against his back, I heaved.

The little campsite filled with Riley's piercing shriek of agony.

At the same time, Seth leaped to his feet.

Victoria coiled and sprang.

Throwing Riley's arm that I had torn from him, it collided with Victoria mid-flight. The impact sounded like an explosion, throwing her against another tree –the tree snapped in half. She landed on her feet again, crouched and ready, only to find me in place.

Victoria kicked the arm aside with a flick of her bare foot.

Seth began circling Riley again, and now Riley was retreating. He backed away from the advancing werewolf, his face rigid with pain. He raised his one arm defensively.

Seth rushed Riley, and the vampire was clearly off-balance. Seth sunk his teeth into Riley's shoulder and tore, jumping back again.

With an ear-splitting metallic screech, Riley lost his other arm.

Seth shook his head, flinging the arm into the woods. The broken hissing noise that came through Seth's teeth sounded like snickering. He was disgusted with the smell and taste, but remained focused.

Riley screamed out a tortured plea. "Victoria!"

Victoria did not even flinch to the sound of her name. Her eyes did not flicker once toward her partner. She didn't care what happened to her partner, her only concern was with herself.

Seth launched himself forward with the force of a wrecking ball. The thrust carried both Seth and Riley into the trees, where the metallic screeching was matched by Riley's screams. Screams that abruptly cut off, while the sounds of rock being ripped to shreds continued. Seth had full control over his fight and would win.

Though she spared Riley no farewell glance, Victoria seemed to realize that she was on her own. She began to back away from me, frenzied disappointment blazing in her eyes. She threw one last shot at Bella, knowing she would not get what she came for, she began to retreat faster.

"No," I crooned. "Stay just a little longer."

She wheeled and flew toward the refuge of the forest like an arrow from a bow.

But I was faster –not allowing her to escape.

Catching her unprotected back at the edge of the trees, with one last simple step, the dance was over. Brushing my mouth once across her neck, my teeth closed on her throat. Squealing clamor came from Seth's efforts covering every other noise, so there was no discernible sound to make what I was doing an image of violence.

Victoria's head disconnected from the rest of her body. A clump of orange wavy hair fell to the ground, and bounced before rolling toward the trees.

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